I was born on a peanut plantation 62 seconds before my dad blinked for the kajillionth time. The turkeys played an orchestra piece called "Eat my shorts", by Bart Simpson. Homer was right there, eating a donut, when Marge walked in with a turkey baster. Immediately, the orchestra fled to Treasure Island to retrieve a '92 Toyota Corona. Then Sir Francis Drake showed up to ask me if I could cut his hair. He said, "I needeth a cuteth of my hair to impress Medusa." So I hopped on my hovercraft and grabbed my scissors. He gave me a pice of chocolate fudge cake as a reward. I suddenly needed my diaper changed, so I went to my mommy and said, "Mom, I made a cow pie. Either give me a new diaper, or eat my patty." She patted my head and changed me. And that's all about the day I was born.
