This is by far the weirdest lists I have ever seen, but funny nonetheless...
QUESTIONS ASKED OF THE SYDNEY OLYMPIC COMMITTEE
Here are some of the classic questions being asked of the Sydney Olympic
Committee via their Web site, and some answers that may be appropriate:
Q: I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true an if so,
can you send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy)
A: (Sure, there's only 8 million of them)
Q: I want to go swimming at Bondi Beach on October 20th. Will I turn blue?
(Germany)
A: (More likely brown, considering the effluent...)
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: (Depends on how much beer you've consumed...)
Q: I plan to take some day trips during the Olympics. Which direction
should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving
with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
A: (Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in
Sydney.)
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney for the Olympics - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: (Sure, it's only seven thousand miles, so you'll need to have started
about a year and a half ago to get there in time for the Games...)
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: (And accomplish what?)
Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in
Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: (No, and we use shells for money too)
Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal)
A: (???)
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: (Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...)
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: (No. Everybody stinks.)
Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
A: (Yes, but only in sporting goods stores, peoples' garages, and most
national parks...)
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: (Yes. At Christmas.)
Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
A: (Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.)
Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: (Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.)
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: (What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?)
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
(Germany)
A: (A blonde?)
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: (Face North and you should be about right)
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: (Another blonde?)
Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? Italy)
A: (Yes. Outdoors.)
QUESTIONS ASKED OF THE SYDNEY OLYMPIC COMMITTEE
Here are some of the classic questions being asked of the Sydney Olympic
Committee via their Web site, and some answers that may be appropriate:
Q: I hear that all Australian women are beautiful. Is that true an if so,
can you send me pictures of the available ones? (Italy)
A: (Sure, there's only 8 million of them)
Q: I want to go swimming at Bondi Beach on October 20th. Will I turn blue?
(Germany)
A: (More likely brown, considering the effluent...)
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: (Depends on how much beer you've consumed...)
Q: I plan to take some day trips during the Olympics. Which direction
should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving
with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
A: (Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in
Sydney.)
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney for the Olympics - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: (Sure, it's only seven thousand miles, so you'll need to have started
about a year and a half ago to get there in time for the Games...)
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: (And accomplish what?)
Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in
Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: (No, and we use shells for money too)
Q: Where can I learn underwater welding in Australia? (Portugal)
A: (???)
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: (Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us...)
Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: (No. Everybody stinks.)
Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
A: (Yes, but only in sporting goods stores, peoples' garages, and most
national parks...)
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: (Yes. At Christmas.)
Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
A: (Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.)
Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: (Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.)
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: (What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?)
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
(Germany)
A: (A blonde?)
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: (Face North and you should be about right)
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: (Another blonde?)
Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love outdoors? Italy)
A: (Yes. Outdoors.)
This is a My Little Pony fan fiction. If you don't like talking horses that come in different colors, please run for your life.
At a classic car show in Baltimare, a lot of ponies were enjoying theirselves. A song was playing
Song: link
Blazin' Blue: *Sitting by his car*
Saten Twist: *Sitting by his car, and a sign*
Filly: *Reading sign* Vote for my car to win, or you will be killed by a chain saw. Mommy, what's a chain saw?
Mother: Never mind. *Walks away with filly*
Saten Twist: Maybe I overdid it with the sign.
Ryan: *Arrives in his car,...
continue reading...
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! Pingas!
At a classic car show in Baltimare, a lot of ponies were enjoying theirselves. A song was playing
Song: link
Blazin' Blue: *Sitting by his car*
Saten Twist: *Sitting by his car, and a sign*
Filly: *Reading sign* Vote for my car to win, or you will be killed by a chain saw. Mommy, what's a chain saw?
Mother: Never mind. *Walks away with filly*
Saten Twist: Maybe I overdid it with the sign.
Ryan: *Arrives in his car,...
#5: JAWS:
I still remember that time my dad told me there's this really cool Shark movie, where he kills a bunch of people.. This sounded so cool, I loved that thought. But when I saw it.. Boy, I STILL get nervous in the water.. Thanks a lot Dad..
#4: INDIANA JONES:
That whole bug scene..
#3: WILLY WONKA:
We all know the scene.. Fuck that scene..
#2: MOST GOOSEBUMPS EPISODES:
Yeah.. I was pretty easy to scare..
#1: KING KONG:
"And the award for most fucked up Natives, goes to.. Peter Jackson (audience cheers)".
Seriously, man.. With all the slow motion, and the fucking old lady.. I was traumatized for months..
Even that scene when Carl sees the skull on the map.. I think I had indigestion or something.. That face image fucked me up..
I still remember that time my dad told me there's this really cool Shark movie, where he kills a bunch of people.. This sounded so cool, I loved that thought. But when I saw it.. Boy, I STILL get nervous in the water.. Thanks a lot Dad..
#4: INDIANA JONES:
That whole bug scene..
#3: WILLY WONKA:
We all know the scene.. Fuck that scene..
#2: MOST GOOSEBUMPS EPISODES:
Yeah.. I was pretty easy to scare..
#1: KING KONG:
"And the award for most fucked up Natives, goes to.. Peter Jackson (audience cheers)".
Seriously, man.. With all the slow motion, and the fucking old lady.. I was traumatized for months..
Even that scene when Carl sees the skull on the map.. I think I had indigestion or something.. That face image fucked me up..
