I found this pasted on Konorai's Fanfiction.net profile, not my idea, but LOLZ just the same!
6 reasons not to mess with children:
Reason 1:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
Reason 2:
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Reason 3:
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Reason 4:
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
Reason 5:
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
Reason 6:
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
6 reasons not to mess with children:
Reason 1:
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
Reason 2:
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Reason 3:
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
Reason 4:
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
Reason 5:
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
Reason 6:
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
1. you look up pictures of the person all the time.
2. you can't stop thinking of the person.
3. you dream about marrying the person.
4. you drool everytime you watch them sing.
5. you have a giggle fit everytime they take their shirt off.
6. you have a million pictures of the person.
7. you want to meet the person more then anything.
8. you know their songs by heart.
9. you dream of kissing them.
10. You want to kill anybody who makes fun of that person.
11. You watch videos with that person in it all the time.
12. You have them as your icon.
13. you would die for them.
2. you can't stop thinking of the person.
3. you dream about marrying the person.
4. you drool everytime you watch them sing.
5. you have a giggle fit everytime they take their shirt off.
6. you have a million pictures of the person.
7. you want to meet the person more then anything.
8. you know their songs by heart.
9. you dream of kissing them.
10. You want to kill anybody who makes fun of that person.
11. You watch videos with that person in it all the time.
12. You have them as your icon.
13. you would die for them.
User: Hi there.
Cleverbot: The game.
User: Aww damnnit!
Cleverbot: Are you a furry?
User: No are you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Hahaha.
Cleverbot: I am an engineer.
User: So do you work for skynet.
Cleverbot: No I work for Chiquita Bananas.
User: So do you know jesus by any chance.
Cleverbot: Actually, yes, I am indeed a computer, but I wouldn't say 'only' a computer... Do you know how powerful a computer can be?
User: Thats not relevant to anything I said.
Cleverbot: I was answering your question.
User: No you were ranting about how awesome you were. I asked if you had met Jesus.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot how awesome I am. ?
User: Are you retarded.
Cleverbot: Hot banana milkshake.
Cleverbot: The game.
User: Aww damnnit!
Cleverbot: Are you a furry?
User: No are you?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Hahaha.
Cleverbot: I am an engineer.
User: So do you work for skynet.
Cleverbot: No I work for Chiquita Bananas.
User: So do you know jesus by any chance.
Cleverbot: Actually, yes, I am indeed a computer, but I wouldn't say 'only' a computer... Do you know how powerful a computer can be?
User: Thats not relevant to anything I said.
Cleverbot: I was answering your question.
User: No you were ranting about how awesome you were. I asked if you had met Jesus.
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot how awesome I am. ?
User: Are you retarded.
Cleverbot: Hot banana milkshake.
