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posted by patrisha727
There's more coming!

Charles Dickens was an insomniac. He believed he had the best chance of getting some sleep if he positioned himself exactly in the middle of the bed which must at all times be pointed in a northerly direction.

The actor Stewart Granger, changed his name because didn't like his real name. James Stewart.

William Butler Yeats wrote his most important poems between the age of 50 and 75.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

A scorpion could survive for three weeks if it was embedded in a block of ice.

After his sight improved, Thomas Edison still preferred using Braille to more normal reading.

Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, also set a world water-speed record of over 70 miles an hour at the age of 72.

The last London smog occurred in 1962.

A fog belt 50 ft. deep over an area of 104 square miles contains no more moisture that single bucket of water.

As early as 246 B.C., con men were at work "aging" manuscripts and selling them to book collectors as antiques.

Copies of the Bible and the Koran small enough to fit in a walnut shell have been written by hand.

Sidewinder snakes move in their peculiar fashion to avoid putting too much of their body area on the hot desert sand.

Two mouths full of cowbane, a member of the carrot family, is enough to kill you.

In the eighteenth century, many women went to the trouble of having their gums pierced so they could use hooks to secure their false teeth.

In 1973, two blind Peruvian soccer teams played a match using a ball filled with dried peas.

During World War II, Americans had the idea of fitting bats with miniature bombs that would then be dropped as they flew over the enemy.

The scorpion fish can merge the shape of its head with the surrounding rocks.

The early Greeks experimented with the direction of their writing, going from right to left and left to right alternately, before adopting what is now the standard Western practice.

The plant life contained in the oceans of the world makes up 85 percent of all our greenery.

William the Conqueror was so strong he could jump onto his horse wearing full armor.

The Indian atlas-moth has a 12-inch wing span.
There is more pigment in brown eyes than in blue eyes.

Allan Pinkerton, founder of the famous detective agency, died in 1884 when he stumbled, bit his own tongue, and was killed by the resulting gangrene.

Sri Lanka is the second largest tea-producer in the world.

Marie Curie, the Nobel Prize-winning scientist who discovered radium, died as a result of over-exposure to radioactivity.

Crocodiles can see underwater because they have a semi-transparent third eyelid that slides into place when necessary.

In 1972, a Swedish man balanced on one foot for over five hours, using nothing for support.
People used to wear shoes on either foot.

A giraffe's blood pressure is at least twice that of a healthy man.

Tens of thousands of Ugandans reported that they had seen and heard a talking tortoise in 1978.
King Camp Gillette invented the first disposable safety razor. Two years after he first patented his invention, he had only sold 168 blades. By the following year, sales jumped to an incredible 12.4 million blades.

A thick glass is more likely to crack if hot water is poured onto it than a thin one.
The popular card game bridge was invented in Turkey.

It was the accepted practice in babylon 4,000 years ago that for amonth after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we know today as the "honeymoon."

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle," is the phrase inspired by this practice.

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes­when you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. That's where the phrase, "good night, sleep tight!" came from.

The term "the whole nine yards" came from WW II fighter pilots in the Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the gourd, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole nine yards."

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.

Buzz Aldrin was the second man to set foot on the Moon. Moon was also his mother's maiden name.

Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food.

All 17 children of Queen Anne died before she did.

Almost a quarter of the land area of Los Angeles is taken up by automobiles.

The African lungfish can live out of water for up to four years.

In 1935, Jesse Owens set six track and field world records in less than one hour.

Band-Aid bandages first appeared on the market in 1921, however, the little red string that is used to open the package did not get added until 1940.
Gene Cernan was the last man on the moon.

Every major league baseball team in the U.S. buys about eighteen thousand baseballs each season.

Leonardo da Vinci spent twelve years painting the Mona Lisa's lips.

When glass breaks, the cracks move at speeds of up to 3,000 miles per hour.

Today’s average household in the USA contains more computer power than existed in the world before 1965.

The average desktop computer contains 5-10 times more computing power than was used to land a man on the moon.

The Academy Award statue is named after a librarian's uncle. One day Margaret Herrick, librarian for the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, remarked that the statue looked like her Uncle Oscar--the name stuck.

Anise is the scent on the artificial rabbit that is used in greyhound races.

Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.

The onion is actually a lily.
Roses cut in the afternoon last longer than ones cut in the morning.

The moon is one million times drier than the Gobi Desert.

The embryos of tiger sharks fight each other while in their mother's womb, the survivor being the baby shark that is born.

There are four cars and eleven light posts on the back of a $10 bill.

The earliest known legal text was written by Ur Nammu in 2100 B.C.

40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

Some 160,000 people attempt suicide every year in France.

99% of the solar system's mass is concentrated in the sun.

The oldest commercially marketed carbonated drink was Moxie, which became available in apothecaries as a medical tonic in 1876.

The first time movie audiences were treated to a flushing toilet was in Alfred Hitchcock's 1959 release Psycho.

The Union ironclad, Monitor, was the first U.S. ship to have a flush toilet.

The average American eats 114,000 Tootsie Rolls in their lifetime.

27% of U.S. male college students believe life is a meaningless existential hell.

On the average, a normal person's eye muscles move about 100,000 to 150,000 times in one day.

Most toilets flush in E flat.

The Ancient Egyptians trained baboons to wait at their tables.

England is smaller than New England.

Elephants have been known to remain standing after they die.

Porcupines are excellent swimmers, because their quills are hollow.

Some insects can live up to a year without their heads.
added by Booyahboy
added by TizzFan4evr
video
funny
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by Rodz
added by CourtneyKatara
added by Mallory101
added by xSHOCKYx
added by Galbraith
added by xxxmermaidsxxx
Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met.
Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today.
Ask people if they have seen your pet shark.
Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys.
Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.
Hit strangers with your flutter board.
Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you.
Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good....".
Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move.
Swim near a stranger and say,...
continue reading...
I found this one on the internet:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he was a maverick chicken, and he wanted to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken had to cross the road because he was not able to find a bridge. Alaskans do not build bridges to nowhere. If he wanted a bridge, he'd have to build it himself.

JOE BIDEN: The chicken crossed the road because...
continue reading...
added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
added by jlhfan624
Source: 1280x800.com
added by Rodz
Source: ewallpapers.org
posted by BellaCullen96
Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something. After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN...."
Bring a vacuum to class. Halfway through class, stand up and start using...
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posted by BellaSwan636
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
I NOT HAS A PMS!!!!! - k.
-Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says to the other,"Jeez, it's hot in here!" The other one goes,"Aaah!!! Talking muffin!"

-A blonde is driving in her car, past all these fields. Suddenly, she sees a sunflower field with a broken down boat in the middle, and another blonde is sitting in it, rowing and rowing. The blonde in the car stops, gets out and screams at the other blonde,"It's blondes like you that make blondes like us look bad! I swear, if I could swim, I'd come over there and slap you!"

-A blonde and a brunette are on a road trip. The brunette is driving, and she thinks her indicator...
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posted by Little_Cullen
O.K, so the other day we were handed this picture and told to write a poem. Well, you know me. This is what I came up with.

Giggle Giggle went the lad’s,
For they were doing something bad,
What they were holding in their hands,
Oh, it was not the building plans!

Leaders of the building team,
Oh - so - sensible they seemed,
But what nobody else did see,
Was making them chuckle with glee!

One of them looked over his shoulder,
One of the men, the picture holder,
Just to make absolutely sure,
No one thought them immature.

When he saw the coast was clear,
Once more at the picture did he peer,
And I’m sure by now you’re aware,
Exactly what that man saw there!
okay, so people, my friend Megan and I are making a SECRET club that anyone can join!!! Though it's not a secret any more... Yeah, the SECRET club is called F.S. which stands for Fishy Stuff. And we made a spot on fanpop for F.S. soo you can join. Here is the club's rules:

1. Rules are made for breaking
2. Fishy stuff is not a club for people who want to discuis eating fishies
3. In order to join F.S. you must eat at least 100,000 muffins.
4. Ignore theses rules
5. Break every rule appart from this one.
6. Tea is like soup
7. Don't drink the laptop
8. EVERYTHING is yellow
9. this rule does not exist,...
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posted by TDIlover226
1# wait till there talking on the phone and say "your talking to that hooker again arn't you, I know she has problems but theres no need to go all phycaitrist on her.

2# stand next to her and go "toast?" and wait like your waiting for an answer, then go "hello, arn't you even gonna answer?" wait till they say what? then go "well, you need an aointment to go to that hair stylist", then wait again for them to say something else and go "YOU NEVER RESPECTED ME!" and run out of the room.

3# (this ones for boys) wait until your sister is talking with friends then run up and sit between them and go...
continue reading...
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last