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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially in thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crap, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. b 33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
added by TwilighterSabby
Source: http://icanhascheezburger.com/page/2/
posted by nmdis
WRECKING BALL
We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain
We jumped, never asking why
We kissed, I fell under your spell
A love no one could deny

[Pre-Hook]
Don’t you ever say I just walked away
I will always want you
I can’t live a lie, running for my life
I will always want you

[Hook 1]
I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was break me
Yeah, you wreck me

[Verse 2]
I put you high up in the sky
And now, you’re not coming down
It slowly turned, you let me burn
And now, we’re ashes on the ground

[Pre-Hook & Hook...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Over the years we will run into people that are complete imbecules. Sometimes they say completely stupid things, and act like they're smart. This is the 10 most dumbest things people have ever said to me

10. "If you keep telling me about your stories I won't read them."

This was posted on my fanpop wall by Pinkmare. She wanted to know about my latest fanfics, and I decided to post on her wall letting her know what I was up to. She thought I was rushing her, even though I just told her about the story. I didn't even say "Read this immediately."

9. "Do you want some beer?"

I was walking down the...
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posted by purplefreak855
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll...
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posted by joe-kerr
Hey everyone.
I'm back with another list. And this time, I do know who to credit. All these quotes are from George W. Bush. For real. I found them online on various media sites. The ranking, however, is my own.

20    "They misunderestimated me."
     —Bentonville, Arkansas; November 6, 2000
    
19    "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter."
     —In parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan,...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I got it somewhere n thought i should share it.

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all...
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posted by mehere
top 24 eminem song (random order)




who knew

rock bottom

words are weapons

lighters

criminal

kill you

never 2 far

like toy solidiers

white america

cleanin' out my closet

my name is

till i collapse

when im gone

sing for the moment

the real slim shady

just dont give a fuck

lose yourself

the way i am

mockingbird

infinite

stan

not afraid

without me

just lose it

i hope you like this one better than the first one please leave a comment if u like od dont like it i want to hear your thoughts :P
previously on The Evil Teddy Bear: Tina saw a Cute looking Teddy bear and picked up from the self but when she put on the counter to buy it the sales man straight away took it off of the counter and said it wasnt for sale but then Jenni had an awesome idea and managed to get the Teddy bear the sales man gave the girls the Teddy bear for free but after they left and while they were walking the Teddy bear evil chuckled and its eyes turned red...

Tina unlocked the door to their house (forgot to mention that their also sisters)and they all walked in Peter put the Teddy bear ontop of the book case...
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1. People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!).

2.The oldest known love song was written 4,000 years ago and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.

3.One in five long-term love relationships began with one or both partners being involved with others.

4.Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover’s memory.

5.Love can also exert the same stress on...
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Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts.
Cheryl Cole and Nicola Roberts.
Not that anyone's interested, but here are my current top 11 female 'celebrities'.



1. Cheryl Cole. (yeah, I didn't think you'd be surprised.)
-Words just can't describe how much I love this woman. If I try to then I'll take up this entire article.

2. Amy Lee.
- She has the most stunning voice, and she's absolutely beautiful; Evanescence wouldn't have ever been Evanescence without her. She's amazing.

3. Avril Lavigne.
- I'm a big fan of her music. She's cool, she's cute, and with all this, she has amazing hair. :3

4. Hayley Williams.
- She also has amazing hair, like all the people on this list actually....
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posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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posted by TruBerries
**Before I begin, I would like to say that I'm writing this out of experience so y'all don't be thinking that I'm guessing, putting other people down who did or are doing this, or that I'm being absolutely rude about it, which I'm not.**

In everyone's life, we all want someone that we want to have, hold, and love and never having that feeling of ever being alone for the rest of our lives. We all know that it takes time and patience, but the thing about it is that there's people out there that jump head first into generating a relationship out of thin air with someone he/she has just met online....
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posted by Bella_Dhampir
1. "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."

2. "If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

3. "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world," (Calvin - Calvin and Hobbes)

4. "There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age. " (Benjamin Spock)

5. "Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman." (Kathy Lette)

6. ""Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" (Homer Simspon)...
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posted by TVD_rocks
10. Sing “Bad Touch” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

6. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

5.Ask him to be a gangsta with you for Halloween

4. Show him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile or if it's just you.

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna.
posted by invadercalliope
Hello i'm InvaderCalliope!
Emo Poems:
Poem number 1:
My tears are a sign of my fears,I've been drowning all these years.
I have to break out from this pain,Have to free me from this chain.
My heart is filling up inside,I cannot run,I cannot hide.
Hate is filling up my mind,Its love i cannot find.
Poem number 2:
My friends call me emo.
My mom makes jokes.
My sisters are worried.
I'm not emo i say.
Stop making jokes.
They're not very funny.
No need to worry.
I promise i'll tell.
The End
posted by ShiningsTar542
There is a topless photo of Sel going around, but it’s FAKE!O_O

Sources connected to Gomez told website TMZ that Selena and company ‘are furious that her reputation is being sullied by some perverts with Photoshop.’

"The alleged photo of Selena Gomez is absolutely not her. Selena’s family is pursuing all available remedies to deal with the offender.” said her reps.

Now they are going to go after the people responsible.

Awful, isn’t it, some of the weird things people do on the Internet!?
UGGHHHH...

source: TMZ

-Well these stuff don't happen only to famous people,But they also happen to normal fellows and This results in big problems which have no limits!
1-TIK TOK-Ke$ha
2-NEED YOU NOW-Lady Antebellum
3-HEY, SOUL SISTER-Train
4-CALIFORNIA GURLS-Katy Perry Featuring Snoop Dogg
5-OMG-Usher Featuring will.i.am
6-AIRPLANES-B.o.B Featuring Hayley Williams
7-LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE-Eminem Featuring Rihanna
8-BAD ROMANCE-Lady Gaga
9-DYNAMITE-Taio Cruz
10-BREAK YOUR HEART-Taio Cruz Featuring Ludacris
11-NOTHIN' ON YOU-B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars
12-I LIKE IT-Enrique Iglesias Featuring Pitbull
13-BEDROCK-Young Money Featuring Lloyd
14-IN MY HEAD-Jason Derulo
15-RUDE BOY-Rihanna
16-TELEPHONE-Lady Gaga Featuring Beyonce
17-TEENAGE DREAM-Katy Perry
18-JUST THE WAY YOU ARE-Bruno...
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NOTE EVERYONE I DID NOT MAKE THIS!!





* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


* People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.


* When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?


* When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep...
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posted by karpach_13
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde...
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Hayley
Hayley
WARNING:The following article contains,inappropriate materiel and foreign swearing.


*One day at lunch*

Kara:Sigh.

Bell:What's the matter Kara?

Kara:Well a year ago,I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with my so called best friend.Ungrateful bitch.

Johnathan:Well you don't have to worry about that here,I doubt anybody here wants Max.

Everybody:What?

Johnathan:Keep playing dumb Max,keep playing dumb.

Mellisa:I hate you.

Bell:Kara,how about I come over to your place and we do uhh...Girl stuff.

James:Yeah,let's do girl stuff.

Kara:Shut up James you creepy stalker.

James:W-What?

*Kara pushes James on...
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