yes, this is ripping off cupcakes. do not read of you don't like blood and gore. for those who don't know the characters, cadence and shining armor are at the bottom.
chapter 1: Cadence
Cadence was walking to Derpy's new bakery with Shining armor. Derpy said she had something extra special planned for the three of them. “where is the bakery anyways?” Cadence asked. “i think it's the one with the huge muffin on top.” Shining armor replied. “yeah, that's gotta be it.” Cadence said, walking towards it. Shining armor followed her. They walked into the bakery, at first it looked as if no one was there. As they were looking around confused Derpy popped up from behind a counter. “hi!” she chirped excitedly. “hey Derpy.” cadence greeted her. “what do you have planned for us?” Derpy flew over to them in her usual clumsy manor. “we gonna make muffins.” she said happily as she landed in front of them. “muffins?” Cadence said. Derpy nodded. “just try these two first, you know, samples.” Derpy said, handing them both a muffin. Cadence took a bite out of her muffin. “it's good.” she said. “really good, now what?” Shining armor asked. “well now you take a nap silly fillies!” Derpy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Cadence and Shining armor had confused expressions on their faces but before they could say anything they were out cold.
When Cadence awoke she found that she was on a metal board and was held down by metal rings. They were on all her limbs and her head. She glanced at Shining armor to see he had awoken and was in the same condition. “what's going on?” she asked. He shook his head, just as confused as her. “great you're awake!” Derpy said, coming out of the shadows. “what's going on?” Cadence dared to ask. “well, ya see. I wanted to make my special muffins but I ran out of my extra special ingredient.” Derpy replied. “what ingredient, what are you talking about?!” Shining armor yelled. “you two, silly fillies.” Derpy replied in her normal derpy manor. “nice joke derpy!” Cadence said. “what joke?” Derpy asked. “i haven't made any jokes today.” “let us go! If you don't then the princess will-” he was cut off by Derpy. “the princess will do nothing, she won't know a thing, how long do ya think I've been doing this?” she said, flicking the light on. Bloody body parts were everywhere. Intestines, hearts, livers, bladders, skulls and bones of every kind. The head of queen chrysalis was mounted, still bleeding. Discord's head was right next to it. Spike's head was on the ground in a pile of organs. “wh- what is this?” Cadence asked. “no time for explaining, we have to start!” Derpy screamed, holding a tray of knives, saws and axes. “hmmm.” Derpy thought for a few moments before picking a simple butcher knife and a saw. “this is gonna be tricky, I've never really cut off a unicorn horn before.” she said. “oh well.” she shrugged and used the saw on Cadence's horn. She grunted in pain. “ya know, most ponies think unicorns can't fell their horns, that's not true at all.” she said casually as she sawed. After a few seconds the horn was off. Derpy carefully placed it on the table. Next she sawed off Shining armors horn. Next she got the butcher knife and started hacking at Cadence's wings. She tried to close them as she screamed in agony but it was no use. It turned out they were held down too. After the first one was off she hacked away gleefully at the other one. She ignored Cadence's screams as she ripped the wing off. She set the wings down next to the horns as she thought about what to do next. Then she picked up a saw. “sorry, but I think the hooves gotta come off.” she said as she started sawing off one of Cadence's hooves. Cadence screamed in pain as her hoof got peeled off, leaving bloody flesh. Derpy did the same to her other hooves and Shining armors hooves. Next she took the butcher knife and hacked off their ears. Derpy laughed at their screams of pain. Net she took a sharp, rusty knife and cut their tongues out. They blacked out from the pain.
When they awoke again Derpy was pulling an adrenaline needle from Cadence's chest. Shining armor was already awake. They were crying from the intense pain. “aw, don't be sad, let me dry those tears.” Derpy said, grabbing the same rusty knife that was used to cut out their tongues. Next she gouged the knife into Cadences eye, ripping in out of the socked. Then she ripped it out of her skull altogether. She did the same to her other eye and Shining armors eyes. Next she gave them another shot. “this is to take away the pain so you can stay awake for the harvest. You won't see it but you'll feel it.” she explained. After a few minutes of waiting Derpy cut open their abdomen. She started taking out organs one by one. When she was one she cut off their heads and put them on the wall.
chapter 1: Cadence
Cadence was walking to Derpy's new bakery with Shining armor. Derpy said she had something extra special planned for the three of them. “where is the bakery anyways?” Cadence asked. “i think it's the one with the huge muffin on top.” Shining armor replied. “yeah, that's gotta be it.” Cadence said, walking towards it. Shining armor followed her. They walked into the bakery, at first it looked as if no one was there. As they were looking around confused Derpy popped up from behind a counter. “hi!” she chirped excitedly. “hey Derpy.” cadence greeted her. “what do you have planned for us?” Derpy flew over to them in her usual clumsy manor. “we gonna make muffins.” she said happily as she landed in front of them. “muffins?” Cadence said. Derpy nodded. “just try these two first, you know, samples.” Derpy said, handing them both a muffin. Cadence took a bite out of her muffin. “it's good.” she said. “really good, now what?” Shining armor asked. “well now you take a nap silly fillies!” Derpy said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Cadence and Shining armor had confused expressions on their faces but before they could say anything they were out cold.
When Cadence awoke she found that she was on a metal board and was held down by metal rings. They were on all her limbs and her head. She glanced at Shining armor to see he had awoken and was in the same condition. “what's going on?” she asked. He shook his head, just as confused as her. “great you're awake!” Derpy said, coming out of the shadows. “what's going on?” Cadence dared to ask. “well, ya see. I wanted to make my special muffins but I ran out of my extra special ingredient.” Derpy replied. “what ingredient, what are you talking about?!” Shining armor yelled. “you two, silly fillies.” Derpy replied in her normal derpy manor. “nice joke derpy!” Cadence said. “what joke?” Derpy asked. “i haven't made any jokes today.” “let us go! If you don't then the princess will-” he was cut off by Derpy. “the princess will do nothing, she won't know a thing, how long do ya think I've been doing this?” she said, flicking the light on. Bloody body parts were everywhere. Intestines, hearts, livers, bladders, skulls and bones of every kind. The head of queen chrysalis was mounted, still bleeding. Discord's head was right next to it. Spike's head was on the ground in a pile of organs. “wh- what is this?” Cadence asked. “no time for explaining, we have to start!” Derpy screamed, holding a tray of knives, saws and axes. “hmmm.” Derpy thought for a few moments before picking a simple butcher knife and a saw. “this is gonna be tricky, I've never really cut off a unicorn horn before.” she said. “oh well.” she shrugged and used the saw on Cadence's horn. She grunted in pain. “ya know, most ponies think unicorns can't fell their horns, that's not true at all.” she said casually as she sawed. After a few seconds the horn was off. Derpy carefully placed it on the table. Next she sawed off Shining armors horn. Next she got the butcher knife and started hacking at Cadence's wings. She tried to close them as she screamed in agony but it was no use. It turned out they were held down too. After the first one was off she hacked away gleefully at the other one. She ignored Cadence's screams as she ripped the wing off. She set the wings down next to the horns as she thought about what to do next. Then she picked up a saw. “sorry, but I think the hooves gotta come off.” she said as she started sawing off one of Cadence's hooves. Cadence screamed in pain as her hoof got peeled off, leaving bloody flesh. Derpy did the same to her other hooves and Shining armors hooves. Next she took the butcher knife and hacked off their ears. Derpy laughed at their screams of pain. Net she took a sharp, rusty knife and cut their tongues out. They blacked out from the pain.
When they awoke again Derpy was pulling an adrenaline needle from Cadence's chest. Shining armor was already awake. They were crying from the intense pain. “aw, don't be sad, let me dry those tears.” Derpy said, grabbing the same rusty knife that was used to cut out their tongues. Next she gouged the knife into Cadences eye, ripping in out of the socked. Then she ripped it out of her skull altogether. She did the same to her other eye and Shining armors eyes. Next she gave them another shot. “this is to take away the pain so you can stay awake for the harvest. You won't see it but you'll feel it.” she explained. After a few minutes of waiting Derpy cut open their abdomen. She started taking out organs one by one. When she was one she cut off their heads and put them on the wall.
Hey..
So,
Remember me? Of course you don't- this is a new account. *smacks self*
Anyway, I used to be LUV_4_BIEBER. *shudders* Remember me now? Still no? Okay..
ANYPENIS, I came back to this site a few nights ago and went "Damn I miss this place!" Of course probably NONE if the people I knew are still here, but who cares- I can make new friends!
(that was a completely failed attempt at being sociable)
So I was looking back at my old account and holy fucking dickface I was the biggest idiot ever. Just- wow. Firer me apologizes for past me's illiterate writing skills, mary-sueishess, and generally being an annoying twat >.<
I guess this is a welcome back post? More like a "please dear god take me back" post :p
BUT HAY.
So,
Remember me? Of course you don't- this is a new account. *smacks self*
Anyway, I used to be LUV_4_BIEBER. *shudders* Remember me now? Still no? Okay..
ANYPENIS, I came back to this site a few nights ago and went "Damn I miss this place!" Of course probably NONE if the people I knew are still here, but who cares- I can make new friends!
(that was a completely failed attempt at being sociable)
So I was looking back at my old account and holy fucking dickface I was the biggest idiot ever. Just- wow. Firer me apologizes for past me's illiterate writing skills, mary-sueishess, and generally being an annoying twat >.<
I guess this is a welcome back post? More like a "please dear god take me back" post :p
BUT HAY.
step 1.Go up to someone and ask there name
Step 2.Tell them that there name is ugly
step 3.Tell them they're shirt looks like throw up
step 4.give them a hug
step 5:kick them in the shin
step 6:tell them you love them
Step 7:kick them in the crotch or stumach
step 8.Say i love you again
step 9:walk around them in circles singing my butt smells like a tortia chachacha
step 10:say you hate them
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Step 2.Tell them that there name is ugly
step 3.Tell them they're shirt looks like throw up
step 4.give them a hug
step 5:kick them in the shin
step 6:tell them you love them
Step 7:kick them in the crotch or stumach
step 8.Say i love you again
step 9:walk around them in circles singing my butt smells like a tortia chachacha
step 10:say you hate them
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajahahajahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha u r so stupid if u no like justn beber or one directin they have beter ears than keith harkin and if u had good ears u o wood b listning to rabit food r u mad wel dont say i didnt warn u freak my life is complete cuz am marryed 2 jb nd icarly is my best fend hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajaha that wat u get 4 ben mena 2 me hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajahahajahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahauahahahtahahauauhagaiahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahhahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajahahahahahahahajahajahajahajajajahahahahahahajahahahajahahhahahahahahahahaha
1 = Tap your pencil continuously on your desk or forehead.
2 = If you have long hair, flip it in someones face.
3 = Keep on shifting your chair.
4 = Keep on whispering Hi.
5 = Tell them after class "They know now". Trust me it scares them.
6 = Ask them where they live..
7 = Ask them if they watch America's Next Top Model every day.
8 = Ask them every day to sit next to them at lunch, but at lunch say you were just kidding.
9 = Have a sleepover with them and do nothing.
10 = Ask them if KFC serves pizza every Friday.
11 = Poke them in the back if they won't move.
12 = Say "I like your hair" in a creepy way.
13 = Ask them if they have ever been drunk.
14 = Ask if they are on Myspace. If they are, then say they have no life.
2 = If you have long hair, flip it in someones face.
3 = Keep on shifting your chair.
4 = Keep on whispering Hi.
5 = Tell them after class "They know now". Trust me it scares them.
6 = Ask them where they live..
7 = Ask them if they watch America's Next Top Model every day.
8 = Ask them every day to sit next to them at lunch, but at lunch say you were just kidding.
9 = Have a sleepover with them and do nothing.
10 = Ask them if KFC serves pizza every Friday.
11 = Poke them in the back if they won't move.
12 = Say "I like your hair" in a creepy way.
13 = Ask them if they have ever been drunk.
14 = Ask if they are on Myspace. If they are, then say they have no life.