[Top things Disney movies have taught us(Part One)]
[The Lion King]
1. Don’t trust an uncle with large black facial hair.
2. Never intentionally scream in an area where a stampede/avalanche/other disaster of that sort might happen.
3. If necessary, you can survive on bugs.
4. Don’t play in graveyards(is also taught in most zombie/horror movies.)
5. Lions can grow up in about 15 seconds just by walking across a log.
6. Clouds can speak.
7. Baboon’s always have the catchiest songs.
8. Always treat warthogs with proper respect(refer to them as sir/madam)
9. Doesn’t matter what type of fight it is….the girlfriend will always kick your butt.
10. Brothers are d***’s!
[The Little Mermaid]
1. You are never far from a musical band of singing sea creatures.
2. Don’t piss off daddy!
3. French cooks are ebil(Not incorrectly spelled, play Dragonfable)
4. Seagull’s aren’t exactly all there.
5. Holy crap, it’s an giant octopus!!!!!!
6. Mermaid’s love to go around topless.
7. Having a trident makes you all powerful(except if someone hits you exactly once)
8. Princes love mute chicks!
9. There are several uses for forks.
10. It’s not that redheads don’t have souls, they just keep selling them to evil octopus women……
[Mulan]
1. Cutting your hair makes you a male.
2. Dragons can talk, but you wish they wouldn’t.
3. Crickets are lucky.
4. Grandma’s have the best wit!
5. Bring your dad a sword and a medal and he’ll instantly forget all that crap you did.
6. A three minute song turns you into a badass.
7. Don’t have a girlfriend? The emperor will hook you up!
8. Don’t cheat…You won’t get away with it.
9. “Get off the roof! Get off the roof! Get off the roof!!!!!!!!”
10. He’s your worst nightmare!
[Finding Nemo]
1. If your dad tells you not to touch something…don’t touch it!
2. Swim down!
3. Short term memory loss can…short term memory loss can…short term memory loss can…
4. Manta rays are the kings of tongue twisters.
5. Never trust a girl in braces…
6. “Fish gotta swim, birds gotta eat!”
7. Saying mine over and over again is very annoying.
8. Whales only eat krill…oh look! Krill!
9. Clown fish are not that funny.
10. All drains lead to the ocean.
[Ratatouille]
1. Beware short men in large hats.
2. It’s not a bad thing when books talk to you.
3. Rats make better chefs than you do.
4. Sometimes women WON’T pepper spray you.
5. You can survive being struck by lightning and also be unharmed.
6. Rats don’t like to be called thieves.
7. Not all disney movies have people bursting into song every 5 minutes.
8. You can control someone by yanking their hair.
9. Rats are strong enough to open the refrigerator.
10. There is most likely a small rat restaurant above you when you eat out.
[Toy Story]
1. Your toys are alive.
2. You cannot fly, you can however fall with style.
3. At the moment you need them, your RC car will run out of batteries.
4. god is in the form of a claw.
5. Woody makes fire!!
6. Buzz is like a magnifying glass.
7. Your piggy bank wants to take over the world.
8. Just because a toy looks like something Tim Burton would come up with does not mean that it is evil.
[Tangled]
1. Most thugs love to burst into song.
2. Old men in diapers are fine in a kids movie.
3. There is always the possibility that you were stolen as a baby.
4. Women love convicts.
5. There’s a new sheriff in town and he has hooves!
6. Anyone with hair longer than their body must be magic!
7. Singing makes you young.
8. Bar’s always have at least 1 secret passageway.
9. Floods can be dangerous.
10. The chameleon is a pimp.
