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1. When a twilight fan says 'twilight rocks' say 'rocks made of twilight?'
2. Go up to a twilight fan, scream 'Bella! Bella! BELLA!!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!' when they say 'I know right!' say 'Oh no I meant Bellatrix'
3. Ask them all questions about twilight that you can think of. When they ask why say 'I'm doing a book report on the most boring books of the world'
4. Get all the boys and twilight haters (better for them to be Harry Potter fans) to start saying 'Edward, Edwardo, Eddibear, sparkle sparkle'
5. Say that you hate Stephanie Meyer, she's a horrible author and her books make want to poke your eyes out with a pencil. Then say that reading JK Rowling's books are like reading books sent from heaven.
6. Tell them that people like Dracula and Voldemort are way more famous and that they can kick Edward's ass!
7. If they tell you that Twilight are the bestselling and most popular books ever, go on Wikipedia with them, search bestselling books, scroll down and show them that twilight is not there. Then go to best selling book series, scroll down, down, down, down past Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, Nancy Drew, Captain Underpants etc. when you finally see twilight say 'Oh look there's twilight right there. Almost at the bottom.'
8. Tell them you went online and gave the new twilight movie one star, when they ask why say 'because Robert Pattinson was totally wearing lipstick!'
9. Remind them Edward Cullen/Jacob Black isn't real.
10. Tell a fan that you'll send her a T-Shirt with Edward Cullen on both sides. After the two days go by, don't send her anything. When she comes up and asks you why, tell her because you wanted to give someone that handsome to her in person. When she gets excited, give her a T-Shirt with Hagrid on it.
11. Tell them 'real men don't sparkle' when they ask 'who said that real men don't sparkle?' say 'Have you got ear problems? I said Only gay men sparkle. Jeez.'
12. When they try to force you into watching twilight, try to force them into watching Harry Potter. If they say 'But I hate it!' say 'Well I hate twilight!' and when they say 'just watch it and you'll like it!' say 'No, you watch Harry Potter and you'll like it!' etc.
13. Wen they tell you they dreamed about Edward Cullen say 'oh my goodness what a nightmare!'
14. When they say the dreamed about Edward Cullen say 'well I dreamed about Voldemort, they're equally hot right?'
15. If you catch them reading twilight, snatch the book, throw it in a trash can, say 'oh man I dropped it'
16. If you catch them watching a twilight movie, wait for the part that Edward or Jacob (depending on who the fan likes more) take his shirt off, when this part comes jump in front of the screen and scream 'FRED AND GEORGE ARE HOTTER! FRED AND GEORGE ARE HOTTER!' when the part ends walk away from the screen saying 'oh never mind'
17. When they ask 'why do you hate twilight so much?' say 'I don't hate it, I actually love it' when they say 'really?' say 'Yeah it's my favorite part of the day. You know after the sun sits and the sky is like all purplish and all.'
18. If you find a twilight book in their bag, take it and replace it with a Harry Potter one.
19. Tell them that Edward is a "hand-me-down" because twilight got him after Harry Potter was finished with him.
20. Say that Stephenie Meyer totally stole the names Bella, Alice, James, Black and Clearwater from JK Rowling
21. List every power that a wizard can have and use all at once (seeing the future, reading minds, etc.), that a vampire would only have one of.
22. Whenever they mention Jacob Black, innocently ask if they meant Wormtail.
23. Say that Bella Swan and Argus Filch would make such a romantic couple.
24. Flinch whenever they say Edward and tell them to say You-Know-Who
25. Explain how Twilight werewolves are really Animagi, and ask whether they're registered with the Ministry of Magic.
26. Tell them they're so crazy they have to go to St. Mungo's
27. Always remind them of the Dumbledore quote 'It does no good dwell in dreams' then remind them that the idea of twilight came to Stephenie Meyer in a dream.
28. Compare Edward Cullen to Mad Eye Moody. Compare silly stuff like their hair, skin color etc. that of course are going to be similar. Then say 'how could you fall for someone who looks totally like Moody?'
29. When they remember Edward say 'Edward who?' when they say 'Edward Cullen' say 'Edward Swollen?'
30. If they say Harry Potter wears weird glasses, say 'Well at least he WEARS glasses. He doesn't sparkle like glasses. Unlike Edward Cullen over here!'
31. When they say Bella is was so brave, remind them what she did when Edward left her, then what Hermione did when Ron chose another one, then what Ginny did when Harry Left her. Compare them and then say 'Now you tell me, which one would you choose to do?'
32. Whenever they mention anything/anyone related to twilight say 'STOP BLOWING UP MY EARS!'
33. When they say they dreamed that Edward/Jacob kissed them, say 'A dementor kissed you?'
34. When they beg you enough to read twilight, say okay. Open it,start reading aloud, at the end of every sentence, make fun of the sentence you read.
35. Ask them 'how come Edward Cullen is a vegetarian? I thought vampires can't eat vegetables or fruits.'
36. Grab an empty notebook and a pencil, sit next to them, write Stephenie Meyer a very long hate letter, and mutter what you're writing out loud.
37. When they call on the phone and start talking about how hot is Robert Pattinson playing Edward Cullen, interrupt them and say 'Hey I just saw Daniel Radcliffe walking on my street! I'll go say hi and remind him of the stupid choice Robert made' then hang up in their face.
38. Tell them ' I heard there will be another book' when they get all excited, tell them 'You do know I mean another Harry Potter book right?'
39. Tell them Harry Potter is better than twilight, when they start to argue keep muttering 'Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter. Twilight sucks Twilight sucks Twilight sucks' like crazy.
40. Tell them that you think Voldemort is prettier than Rosalie.
41. Tell them that vampires and werewolves don't exist, when they say 'Wizards don't exist either' say 'Oh yes we do!' then take a stick, point it at them and shout 'Avada Kadavra!' When it doesn't work keep on poking the stick and shouting the same words. Extra points if you poke them at least five times.
42. Tell them that JK Rowling got her book published with only one chapter while Stephenie Meyer got twilight barley published with the whole novel.
43. Tell them Hermione plays piano way better than Edward.
44. Tell them the Volturi are too stupid to walk all the way from Italy to Forks and not fly.
45. Tell them if you meet Bella you'll slap her in the face.
46. When they start talking about twilight pretend to be staring into space. After a few hours of their talking, when they finally finished say 'huh? what? Sorry I didn't hear you. I was thinking about Harry Potter'
47. When they tell you to get a life, say 'why? Edward doesn't have one'
48. When they say they love Edward ask why, when they tell you the reason, ask why once again. Keep on asking why after everything they say.
49. Go to her room with your friends, remove all the twilight posters, pillows, bed covers etc. burn them, replace them with Harry Potter ones. Extra points of you do not get caught and she never finds out it was you who did it.
50. Buy a twilight pencil, when she says she wants it. Tell her 'okay, let me just sharpen it for you.' sharpen it until it's all gone, then say 'aw man!I'm sorry there's nothing left of it.' Extra points if she searches the trash can like crazy looking for the pencil cores.
(I EDITED THIS A LITTLE SO I COULD ADRESS SOME OTHER STEREOTYPES THAT I THINK ARE WRONG and EXTREMELY HURTFUL!!!!)

In the world of stereotypes...


I HAVE CURVES, so I MUST be a fat-ass.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm BRITISH, so I MUST talk like a butler.

I DON'T WEAR SKIRTS, so I MUST be a tom-boy.

I'm POOR, so I MUST be homeless.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MAN WHILE HE WAS TAKEN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I’M EMOTIONAL, so I MUST be looking...
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posted by LadyL68
♥If you're asking if I need you,♥
♥The answer is forever♥


♥If you're asking if I'll leave you♥
♥ The answer is never♥



♥If you're asking what I value,♥
♥The answer is you♥




♥If you're asking if I love you♥
♥The answer is I do♥








☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮☮

















READ THIS!!! I didn't write this poem, I found it earlier today.
posted by iamagagamonster
~~ dont be offended, i love bruno mars' music, he just walked into this trap~~

** follow the beat of just the way you are **

oh her eyes shadow makes her look like a clown and i hate it
her hair her hair looks like spiders live in it and its weird
shes so creepy
and i tell her everyday

oh i know i know when tell her this she won't believe me
and its so its so sad that she dont see what i see
but everytime she asks me "do i look ok" i say..

when i see your face, theres that perfect thing that i would change cos look at that mustache
girl you need to shave

and when you smile, the whole world ducks and...
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I am the boy who never finished high school because I got called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who was kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who held her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled night.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in a hospital because they would not let my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the...
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Answer their questions with questions

Ask if you they can put food color in the cheese.

Ask them to deliver it in a limo.

Ask to see a menu

Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again

Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

Ask for a deal available somewhere else.

Ask for the guy who took your order last time. Be sure to throw in a comment about his abs.

Ask if the pizza has had its shots

Ask if the pizza is organically grown

Ask if them for a free date with one of the staff if you make order over $30.

Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
In Japan,people use lots of smileys or emotions in their messaging.

While emoji (graphical presentations of emoticons) are probably most known, “kaomoji” (from “kao” = face, “moji” = character) are the Japanese version of Western/Eastern emoticons and there are practically endless variations available.

The biggest difference to the Western/Eastern and Japanese emotions is that they read horizontally and you don’t need to turn your head to understand them.

For example the Western/Eastern emoticon for “Happy” looks like this :-)/:) while the Japanese version looks like this (^_^).

Do you use these emotions or others in your emails?

Here are some examples:

(^_^) happy

(((º Д º ;))) scared

(-´´-;) problems

(>_<) angry

(?_?) confused

(-.-)zzZ sleepy

(^ _^;) embarrassed

(^O^) very happy

(T_T) sad

(^ ε ^) kiss
-See more emotions here: link
1) wacg alote of T.V. or be on the computer a long time
2) don't eat food that can make you sleepy
3) drink a lot of soda or crush
4) gety near load stuff or equipment
5) kepp your lights on
6) try not to close your eyes at a late hour
7) don't lay down
8) wach a scary movie
EX: Cucky Nightmare on elms street orphan
10) eat choclat and other stuff to make you hiper



those are some ways to stay up till midnight on New years eve.


plz writ a commet to tell me what you did on the list

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE EVERYONE!
Top 25 Ways To Drive Your Roommate Crazy

1. Every time you wake up, start yelling, “Oh, my God! Where the
hell am I?!” and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go
back to bed. If yourroommate asks, say you don’t know what
he/she is talking about.

2. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same
room with you,” storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid
of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever
again.

3. Buy a Jack-in-the-box. Every day, turn the handle until the
clown...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
1. Dress all in thick leather so that they can't bite or scratch you. 2. Carry a gun so that those bitches don't kill ya. (obviously). 3. Make sure to hook up with friends that aren't zombified. 4. Carry a knife of some sort at ALL times. 5. Don't stay out after dark. 6. Go to huge houses nearby to party it up. 7. Don't get drunk, you don't know what'll happen. 8. Destroy something to let off some steam. 9. Make sure to have a back-up plan when plan A. doesn't work. 10. Get over to a Bass Pro Shop or anywhere with plenty of survival tools. 11. Go to a corny gift shop and destroy everything...
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posted by MrOrange16
This is a list of rules for the internet I found on link. Just for laughs :)



1. Do not talk about /b/*
2. Do NOT talk about /b/*
3. We are Anonymous.
4. Anonymous is legion.
5. Anonymous does not forgive, Anonymous does not forget.
6. Anonymous can be horrible, senseless, uncaring monster.
7. Anonymous is still able to deliver.
8. There are no real rules about posting.
9. There are no real rules about moderation either — enjoy your ban.
10. If you enjoy any rival sites — DON'T.
11. You must have pictures to prove your statement.
12. Lurk moar — it's never enough.
13. Nothing is Sacred.
14. Do not argue...
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posted by Tayloraddict-1
(Big idea)



Another problem thats spreading on Fanpop. The problem is that people keep reporting people for dumb reasons. For example my friend some people reported her because she didnt agree with them and thats wrong. Like what happened to ''We are a big fanpop family''?. That doesnt even matter anymore does it ? Just when somebody makes you mad or doesnt agree with your point of view you just report them and thats just a whole bunch of bullshit. Like for real handle reporting responsibly if someone makes you mad keep going on with life if someone doesnt agree with your view point just accept dont report thm. Because we are a big family and we dont report or block family we care and show love for them and YES we all argue its natural but just to report someone is taking it too far


PLZ STOP IT!!



whos w/ me?



Love all around
-Jordan
ME: Hi there everyone this is Solo28, also know as ''The Taco Man'' and today me and my conscience will talk to each other.

CONSCIENCE: You are a freakin' retard.

ME: T-T Bad conscience.

CONSCIENCE: I AM NOT A FREAKIN' PET YOU FREAKIN' MORON.

ME: Shut up.

CONSCIENCE: YOU DUN TELL ME TO SHUT UP

ME: I learned it from you, Dad, I learned it from you.

CONSCIENCE: No, stop it, stupid.

ME: Why, I just want to celebrate Ghostmas

CONSCIENCE: Ghostmas? I thought you picked a day out of a hat for that or something.

ME: Candy day is when I say it is Candy Day. It's when I say it is Candy Day.

CONSCIENE: It's not...
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posted by jessicamc26
"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do you want?" "I'm calling to report my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"
These are all true, I saw them with my own eyes. They really happened!

1. Texting with BOTH hands (did the forget they were in a car?)
2. A woman putting on make-up while driving on the freeway during rush hour! (WHY? Could it not wait? Was how you looked more important than DRIVING?)
3. A man unwrapping and eating a full, everything on it, sandwhich while driving. (I guess he was hungry?)

If you think these are bizzare, it gets better.

4. Someone reading the newspaper. (I guess he missed the big game?)
5. The dog was on the steering wheel. (No comment.)
6. A woman with her designer shades, bangles...
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posted by Renesmee_XD
There are a plethora of bands out there. Many of them are lesser-known, unfortunately. There’s just not enough time in the world for any one person to know them all… Unless that person is Dan Bergstein. Or the Easter Bunny.

Anyhow! I spotted an article here on Sparklife listing five bands the world must know, and of course little me thought, “Aha! I could do that!” And here I am, telling y’all about my lovely taste in pretty music! So, without further ado…
1. The Dresden Dolls: This Boston-based duo, Amanda Palmer and Brian Viglione, is epically awesome. They made up their own brand-new...
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posted by cute20k
1. Your reading my article.
2. You're wondering why you're even reading this.
4. You didn't notice that I misspelled you're on #1
5. And you're checking back now
6. Nor did you notice I skipped number three.
7. You don't even feel like checking back this time. You'll take my word for it..
8. This is so stupid that you silently chuckle to yourself.
9. Then you realize that six isn't true because that doesn't make sense and that this is a rip off.
10. But you remember that a fact is something that can be proven right or wrong, so technically it was a fact.
11. You wish you never began to read this stupid stuff now but its still hard to stop.
13. I didn't catch you with the missing number this time. Or did I?
14. You wonder why I'm being such a smart butt.
15. But then again, my mind reading powers amaze you.
16. You totally forgot I was only supposed to tell you ten facts.
This is just the back story for my Sonic the Hedgehog Fan character. Do you think it's good?
***

Atsuko Mana Kenyoku was born in Osaka, Japan. Her interests were American superhero comics, old television, technology, and music. She's very quiet, and sometimes even shy. her mom, Izumi Kenyoku, was a junior high school teacher. and Atsuko's dad, Makoto Kenyoku, worked at a record shop. Atsuko had a 17 year old brother named Masahiko, who was learning ninjitsu at the time, and was also very skilled at it. He liked to tech her What he knew. the Kenyokus weren't rich, but they had a fair amount of...
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Well, this is what happenes when I get bored...I put a message through every language in Babel Fish and see what I get...and some of the results are really funny. I tried this one to see just how unreliable Babel Fish could be...

Original Message:
I would like to conduct a search as to how accurate this translator is. As instructed, I have used grammatically sound language and correct spelling. I will put this message through every language inside the translator and see how the final message varies from the original one. If the results turn out as expected, some words will be literally “lost...
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I couldn't post this as a question since it was too long.

Ayways, yes. She is a Twilight fan on the Harry Potter virsus Twilight spot. It's not because she likes Twilight. I get along with many people who happen to be Twilighters. You can find her on the Harry Potter vs. Twilight spot. Anyways, she left a comment to an answer randomly listing names of people she thought were illiterate, when the question had nothing to do with that. This was her exact comment:
"Coughcough LeggomyGreggo, Mrs-Grint, haropuff95, jedigal1190, ThatDamnLlama, ABCDFan...I could go on"
I took that as a punch in the stomach....
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posted by ilovepenguins
I didn't write this found it on the net

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

3. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the teacher's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop,...
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