THIS IS SOOOOOO RANDOM!

Now listen closely, for you are about to be mystified by the wonders of history, nature, and all things blissful. Once upon a time, there was this guy. He liked cows. He liked cows very much. So much, that he wanted to love the cow, rather than to eat it. He began to kiss it, caress it, and then, the wonderful liquid spat out. For the liquid was white, unlike any other. He tasted it, and was completely mesmerized. He then called it milk, and shared it with society. After that, man realized that milk was the key to happiness. You see, I am happy, for I drink milk, for it is the key to the soul.

Inb4 Grammar Nazis.

Maybe some curious caveman(or something) was like "hey what's that pink thing under that cow * squeeze squeeze*"

Well, after about 3 seconds of thinking I declare that this is how it happened:
Chuck Norris.















His Great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great- Grandfathers....room-mate's....cousin..

was out in a field. He observed a baby cow drinking milk from its mothers udders, and thought to himself: "Dayum. That must taste good." And so he tried some. He liked it!
Then he thought this:

************((((PRIMARY OBJECTIVES))))**********

1. Acquire field
2. Put cows on it.
3. Harvest this white crap.
4. ?????
5. $Profit$
************((((SECONDARY OBJECTIVE))))**********
Tell my cousins room-mate to have many grandchildren so that Chuck Norris can be born.