The next day, before Alice arrived with food, Skipper sneaked off to Marlene’s and gave her the necklace. She absolutely loved it, and set it on a small table so that aforementioned zookeeper wouldn’t see her wearing it.
During the day, when Skipper, Kowalski, Private, and Rico were out being adorable, Amy went to explore the surrounding sewers. Rodney was still pouting about Marlene’s rejection.
“I mean, come on!” he complained. “I’m a good-looking guy, right? Look at me!”
Ian did not pay attention. He was considering the circumstances and thinking though his new plan.
He knew he already had Skipper’s unfailing trust - that will be highly to his advantage. Now, he thought, what are Skipper’s weaknesses?
Ian remembered a time while in Ecuador. A certain parrot girl had captured Skipper’s eye, and he’d started to really like her. But when he’d caught her with another guy… never before was his comrade so angry, not even after Manfredy and Johnson… And another thing, as Ian had found out as he talked to Skipper, there had been someone named Lola, who had divorced him just one short month after their honeymoon for another. Ian deduced that, resulting from these experiences, Skipper was a jealous man and easily angered in matters of the heart.
But how could Ian use this…
Marlene. The pretty otter Rodney was pining after. But still, how, or more specifically, who?
Easy. Kowalski. For all his science smarts, Ian had already noticed a certain… obtuseness to common matters, as seen by how much he used that clipboard of his. He’d pulled it out and written a least a dozen things on it just that one night!
Another thing he’d noticed - entire boxes, full of sweets that smelled of chocolate and peanut butter, in the garbage can. Apparently, the team was not allowed to eat sugar.
If Ian could get Kowalski on a “sugar high” while doing something important, it would be bye-bye lieutenantry !
…
It just so happened that Kowalski was picked for aerial recon duty two nights later. As he began to walk out, Ian stood up.
“Now, Kowalski,” he started, “I feel so guilty that you hardly know my friends and me and you will still go to protect us. Please, permit me to go as well and help you.”
Kowalski looked over at Skipper, who nodded.
“All right, then.” The tallest penguin said, “Let’s go!”
“Right behind you.” Ian said, crawling up the ladder after Kowalski.
“Hold up!” Skipper said just before Ian could go through the fishbowl entrance. “What’s in the bag?”
Ian looked down at the brown paper bag he’d just grabbed.
“Oh, just some snacks for later, just in case.” he replied coolly.
“Just make sure there’s nothing with sugar.” Skipper warned. He added, in a low voice, “Kowalski’s a little sensitive to sugar, particularly chocolate. I don’t want another skorca.”
“Say what?” Amy said, sitting beside Private on their makeshift sofa.
“It all started when Private brought those god-forsaken Winkies with him on duty…”
Ian left the HQ.
Three hours later…
Ian looked up at the moon. It was time.
“Kowalski,” he said, “I’ve got a bit of a, well, a surprise, you could say.”
He pulled out the box out of the bag. It was red and in the shape of a heart.
Kowalski could smell it now, without the bag covering it.
“Chocolates!” he said, shocked. “Where did you get those?”
…
Ian saw two humans conversing in the park. The target was hidden behind the male’s back. As Ian slipped the box away, he could hear their conversation:
“Uh, Cassie, I know we’ve been friends for a while, but, uh… will you go out with me?”
“Oh, Adam, of course!”
“Great! Here, I bought these for y- where’d they go?”
…
“Oh, they were lying around.” Ian replied.
“Well, I shouldn’t have any. My brain does not cooperate with chocolate.” Kowalski said sensibly and continued to search through the binoculars.
“Oh, alright then,” Ian said, “But, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll have just one.”
Ian pulled off the cardboard cover, revealing a dozen perfectly wrapped chocolates. Each one had a different design: hearts, swirls, polka-dots… Ian took one out and very slowly bit into it. It had a caramel center that stretched as Ian pulled it away. Kowalski had to swallow as his mouth watered at the scent that seemed to attack his nostrils. Such a sweet, succulent smell… was it just him, or was there a saxophone playing in the background?
Ian heard it too. He looked behind him, in front of the zoo gates. Indeed, there was a random homeless man walking by with an alto saxophone.
How convenient.
Kowalski simply couldn’t look away from the tantalizing chocolates.
“Well… perhaps just,” he gulped, “one…”
Ian pushed the box towards him. Kowalski quickly reached out, grabbed one, and took a small bite.
“Peanut butter…” he breathed out almost seductively.
As Kowalski finished the single chocolate, Ian already saw that both Kowalski and Skipper were right. His brain did NOT cooperate well with chocolate.
His flippers began to shake…no, it was more like vibrate. His pupils dilated; the feathers on the back of his neck stood straight up. His beak curled into a devious smile before he shouted, at the top of his lungs:
“WAHOO!!!!”
Ian watched with satisfaction as Kowalski went crazy.
“THE CELL THEORY STATES THAT ALL ORGANISMS ARE COMPOSED OF CELLS AND THAT THE CELL IS THE BASIC UNIT OF LIFE AND THAT ALL CELLS COME FROM PREEXISTING CELLS…”
Time to go get Skipper, Ian thought as Kowalski sped down the clock tower and ran in a small circle, screaming about quadratic equations.
…
When Ian ran into the HQ, Skipper, Rico, and Private were teaching Rodney and Amy how to play Stomp the Wombat.
Skipper stood as he heard the fishbowl move open.
“Ian? I thought you were-”
Ian grabbed Skipper by the shoulders.
“Skipper, you have to come quickly! Kowalski’s gone mad!”
Skipper raised an eyebrow. “More than usual?”
“Seemingly, yes.” Ian replied.
“Roll out men!” Skipper called. He, Rico and Private ran out.
Amy slammed her cards down and stopped Ian before he left too.
“What did you do?” she demanded.
“And, why are you blaming me?” he said innocently.
“Because, when something like this happens it’s usually your fault!” she practically shouted at him.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ian shook her away and dashed out.
“Ian-!”
…
Skipper was appalled at what he saw: Kowalski was jumping on the lemurs’ bouncy, reciting the digits of pi. Rico and Private tried to restrain him as Skipper looked for evidence. He found the box of chocolates on top of the clock tower.
Enraged, Skipper called Ian over. He pointed at the box accusingly.
“Didn’t I specifically say no chocolates?!”
Ian wasn’t even phased. “Oh, yes, that. Yes, I found that on a bench while we were on duty. I got it, and planned to give it to Amelia tomorrow.”
“Then what was in the bag?” Skipper said smugly. He had him now!
Ian swallowed an even more smug smile and pulled four small, neatly wrapped fish out of the same brown paper bag as before.
“I briefly mentioned that Amelia does not care for peanut butter, and that maybe, after duty, he could smell out the peanut-butter filled ones. But, the wind blew off the cover while we weren’t looking. I was able to retrieve the cover, but Kowalski must have caught wind of the smell…”
Skipper was speechless. He glanced down at the rest of his team. Rico was keeping Kowalski pinned to one spot with Private trying to talk some sense into him… also, Private was already showing the signs of a black eye on his left side, and was rubbing his right flipper, as if he‘d just been slapped there.
Ian put his arm around Skipper’s shoulders in a friendly way.
“You know, it’s not entirely his fault.” he said comfortingly - and convincingly.
“Skipper shrugged him away. “No. He knows better than this - he knows what almost happened to Private the last time he lost control, plus Kowalski is older, smarter - or he should be.”
Without stopping to think - exactly the opposite of what Kowalski would have done - Skipper climbed down the clock tower and pushed Private out of his way. He slapped Kowalski across the face, hard.
“Kowalski… I love thee, but nevermore be officer of mine.” (1)
Private gasped. Rico dropped Kowalski, who had indeed heard that.
Skipper had just fired him.
Skipper walked back to the HQ, stony-faced.
Unseen, Ian chuckled to himself and popped another chocolate into his mouth.
(1) Act I, Scene II, line # 243
During the day, when Skipper, Kowalski, Private, and Rico were out being adorable, Amy went to explore the surrounding sewers. Rodney was still pouting about Marlene’s rejection.
“I mean, come on!” he complained. “I’m a good-looking guy, right? Look at me!”
Ian did not pay attention. He was considering the circumstances and thinking though his new plan.
He knew he already had Skipper’s unfailing trust - that will be highly to his advantage. Now, he thought, what are Skipper’s weaknesses?
Ian remembered a time while in Ecuador. A certain parrot girl had captured Skipper’s eye, and he’d started to really like her. But when he’d caught her with another guy… never before was his comrade so angry, not even after Manfredy and Johnson… And another thing, as Ian had found out as he talked to Skipper, there had been someone named Lola, who had divorced him just one short month after their honeymoon for another. Ian deduced that, resulting from these experiences, Skipper was a jealous man and easily angered in matters of the heart.
But how could Ian use this…
Marlene. The pretty otter Rodney was pining after. But still, how, or more specifically, who?
Easy. Kowalski. For all his science smarts, Ian had already noticed a certain… obtuseness to common matters, as seen by how much he used that clipboard of his. He’d pulled it out and written a least a dozen things on it just that one night!
Another thing he’d noticed - entire boxes, full of sweets that smelled of chocolate and peanut butter, in the garbage can. Apparently, the team was not allowed to eat sugar.
If Ian could get Kowalski on a “sugar high” while doing something important, it would be bye-bye lieutenantry !
…
It just so happened that Kowalski was picked for aerial recon duty two nights later. As he began to walk out, Ian stood up.
“Now, Kowalski,” he started, “I feel so guilty that you hardly know my friends and me and you will still go to protect us. Please, permit me to go as well and help you.”
Kowalski looked over at Skipper, who nodded.
“All right, then.” The tallest penguin said, “Let’s go!”
“Right behind you.” Ian said, crawling up the ladder after Kowalski.
“Hold up!” Skipper said just before Ian could go through the fishbowl entrance. “What’s in the bag?”
Ian looked down at the brown paper bag he’d just grabbed.
“Oh, just some snacks for later, just in case.” he replied coolly.
“Just make sure there’s nothing with sugar.” Skipper warned. He added, in a low voice, “Kowalski’s a little sensitive to sugar, particularly chocolate. I don’t want another skorca.”
“Say what?” Amy said, sitting beside Private on their makeshift sofa.
“It all started when Private brought those god-forsaken Winkies with him on duty…”
Ian left the HQ.
Three hours later…
Ian looked up at the moon. It was time.
“Kowalski,” he said, “I’ve got a bit of a, well, a surprise, you could say.”
He pulled out the box out of the bag. It was red and in the shape of a heart.
Kowalski could smell it now, without the bag covering it.
“Chocolates!” he said, shocked. “Where did you get those?”
…
Ian saw two humans conversing in the park. The target was hidden behind the male’s back. As Ian slipped the box away, he could hear their conversation:
“Uh, Cassie, I know we’ve been friends for a while, but, uh… will you go out with me?”
“Oh, Adam, of course!”
“Great! Here, I bought these for y- where’d they go?”
…
“Oh, they were lying around.” Ian replied.
“Well, I shouldn’t have any. My brain does not cooperate with chocolate.” Kowalski said sensibly and continued to search through the binoculars.
“Oh, alright then,” Ian said, “But, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll have just one.”
Ian pulled off the cardboard cover, revealing a dozen perfectly wrapped chocolates. Each one had a different design: hearts, swirls, polka-dots… Ian took one out and very slowly bit into it. It had a caramel center that stretched as Ian pulled it away. Kowalski had to swallow as his mouth watered at the scent that seemed to attack his nostrils. Such a sweet, succulent smell… was it just him, or was there a saxophone playing in the background?
Ian heard it too. He looked behind him, in front of the zoo gates. Indeed, there was a random homeless man walking by with an alto saxophone.
How convenient.
Kowalski simply couldn’t look away from the tantalizing chocolates.
“Well… perhaps just,” he gulped, “one…”
Ian pushed the box towards him. Kowalski quickly reached out, grabbed one, and took a small bite.
“Peanut butter…” he breathed out almost seductively.
As Kowalski finished the single chocolate, Ian already saw that both Kowalski and Skipper were right. His brain did NOT cooperate well with chocolate.
His flippers began to shake…no, it was more like vibrate. His pupils dilated; the feathers on the back of his neck stood straight up. His beak curled into a devious smile before he shouted, at the top of his lungs:
“WAHOO!!!!”
Ian watched with satisfaction as Kowalski went crazy.
“THE CELL THEORY STATES THAT ALL ORGANISMS ARE COMPOSED OF CELLS AND THAT THE CELL IS THE BASIC UNIT OF LIFE AND THAT ALL CELLS COME FROM PREEXISTING CELLS…”
Time to go get Skipper, Ian thought as Kowalski sped down the clock tower and ran in a small circle, screaming about quadratic equations.
…
When Ian ran into the HQ, Skipper, Rico, and Private were teaching Rodney and Amy how to play Stomp the Wombat.
Skipper stood as he heard the fishbowl move open.
“Ian? I thought you were-”
Ian grabbed Skipper by the shoulders.
“Skipper, you have to come quickly! Kowalski’s gone mad!”
Skipper raised an eyebrow. “More than usual?”
“Seemingly, yes.” Ian replied.
“Roll out men!” Skipper called. He, Rico and Private ran out.
Amy slammed her cards down and stopped Ian before he left too.
“What did you do?” she demanded.
“And, why are you blaming me?” he said innocently.
“Because, when something like this happens it’s usually your fault!” she practically shouted at him.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Ian shook her away and dashed out.
“Ian-!”
…
Skipper was appalled at what he saw: Kowalski was jumping on the lemurs’ bouncy, reciting the digits of pi. Rico and Private tried to restrain him as Skipper looked for evidence. He found the box of chocolates on top of the clock tower.
Enraged, Skipper called Ian over. He pointed at the box accusingly.
“Didn’t I specifically say no chocolates?!”
Ian wasn’t even phased. “Oh, yes, that. Yes, I found that on a bench while we were on duty. I got it, and planned to give it to Amelia tomorrow.”
“Then what was in the bag?” Skipper said smugly. He had him now!
Ian swallowed an even more smug smile and pulled four small, neatly wrapped fish out of the same brown paper bag as before.
“I briefly mentioned that Amelia does not care for peanut butter, and that maybe, after duty, he could smell out the peanut-butter filled ones. But, the wind blew off the cover while we weren’t looking. I was able to retrieve the cover, but Kowalski must have caught wind of the smell…”
Skipper was speechless. He glanced down at the rest of his team. Rico was keeping Kowalski pinned to one spot with Private trying to talk some sense into him… also, Private was already showing the signs of a black eye on his left side, and was rubbing his right flipper, as if he‘d just been slapped there.
Ian put his arm around Skipper’s shoulders in a friendly way.
“You know, it’s not entirely his fault.” he said comfortingly - and convincingly.
“Skipper shrugged him away. “No. He knows better than this - he knows what almost happened to Private the last time he lost control, plus Kowalski is older, smarter - or he should be.”
Without stopping to think - exactly the opposite of what Kowalski would have done - Skipper climbed down the clock tower and pushed Private out of his way. He slapped Kowalski across the face, hard.
“Kowalski… I love thee, but nevermore be officer of mine.” (1)
Private gasped. Rico dropped Kowalski, who had indeed heard that.
Skipper had just fired him.
Skipper walked back to the HQ, stony-faced.
Unseen, Ian chuckled to himself and popped another chocolate into his mouth.
(1) Act I, Scene II, line # 243
