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“The Other Man That Doesn’t Exist Yet”
December 11, 2014


Skipper stood outside Marlene’s habitat. Earlier that day, the team had snuck into Alice’s office to order some sweet elusive Polish sauerkraut, and Alice had left the sign-up list for the Breeding Program on her computer. Marlene’s name was on it. From the moment he saw it, his heart fluttered. He wasn’t quite sure why. It was just the thought of Marlene feeling as if she needed someone. Why that would bother him was another mystery. He took a deep breath and entered.

“Hey, Skipper! What’s up?” Marlene said as he approached her.

“Nothing much. I was just dropping by to check on you. Is everything okay?” he asked with his heart rate beginning to accelerate.

Marlene smiled humorously. “Um, of course. Why would anything be wrong? Did something happen?”

“Oh, no, nothing happened,” Skipper answered. “I was just wondering . . . have you been — um, lonely?”

Marlene’s smile faded. “Excuse me?”

Skipper spread his flippers. “I’m sorry, that was a really bad question to start with. I just . . . Look, the truth is, I accidentally saw your name signed up on the Breeding Program,” he admitted. “I was just worried about why you suddenly felt like you needed somebody.”

Marlene crossed her arms and became defensive. “Well, I’m not sure that’s any of your business,” she said.

Skipper shifted on his feet awkwardly. “It’s not. I was just worried.”

Marlene sighed and dropped her arms. “Well, don’t worry about me. I just — feel like I’m ready to get out there. I don’t know. I heard about the Breeding Program starting up again and I thought, ‘Why not?’ It’s not like I have anything to lose. And it’s not like I’m getting any younger,” she said with an irritated roll of her eyes.

Skipper hesitated. “It doesn’t bother you that they’ll be setting you up with complete strangers?”

Marlene cocked an eyebrow. “Isn’t that the whole idea of dating?” she pointed out.

Skipper folded his flippers. “Well, I was just thinking that it might be a little more comfortable to start things off with people you already know,” he replied.

Marlene laughed melodramatically. “Like who? I already tried Fred. Julien and Maurice aren’t exactly my type, and it’s obvious why I wouldn’t go for Mort. I can’t see anything happening with me and Mason or Phil. Leonard’s scared of me, anyway. And all the other animals are either too small or too big,” she explained. A thought came to her and she hesitated. “Unless . . . one of you guys wants to . . . you know,” she suggested with an inquisitive stare.

Skipper remained silent for a moment. “No. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Marlene looked at the ground and sighed. “I appreciate that, Skipper,” she said, looking at him, “but I’m a grown woman. I can take care of myself. I promise.”

Skipper looked away. “Fine.” His voice suddenly rose threateningly. “But if any of them hurt you, I’ll —” He caught Marlene’s wide eyes and took a deep breath. “I hope you find what you’re looking for,” he said softly. He turned away and started for the exit.

“Skipper,” Marlene called. Skipper reluctantly stopped and turned back. “Are you sure there isn’t anything you need to tell me?”

Skipper locked eyes with her. “No, Marlene. I’ll see you later,” he said, heading for the door again.

Marlene watched him leave. Skipper had never acted that way before. She ran out after him.

“Skipper, wait!” she called just as he was about to hop over her wall. He stopped with an irritable roll of his eyes and turned around.

“What is it now, Marlene?” he asked.

“I was just —” Marlene exhaled. “I hope this doesn’t change the way you think about me.”

Skipper narrowed his eyes quizzically. “How do you think I think about you?”

Marlene looked down. “Um,” she started, completely unsure of how to respond. “I don’t know. I just don’t want you to think I’m — desperate,” she said, hugging herself uncomfortably.

Skipper sighed and braced his flippers on her shoulders. “I don’t think you’re desperate. I think it’s —” He took a breath. “I think it’s high-time in your life that you find a — mate,” he said, almost forcing out that last word. “Just don’t let any of them take advantage of you, all right?”

“I won’t, Skipper,” Marlene assured him. “I’ll take care of myself. To be honest, I’m a little scared,” she said, looking down. “This is new to me, the whole ‘getting out there’ thing. I want to be ready, but . . .” Her voice trailed.

Skipper dropped his flippers. “But you’re afraid you might not be seeing what’s already right in front of you?” he suggested quietly.

Marlene looked at him — really looked at him. “Yeah. Something like that,” she admitted.

Skipper smiled. “Well, Marlene, I don’t know a lot about what goes on in your mind most of the time, but I do know your heart’s always one hundred percent. I think if you listen to it, it’ll lead you in the right direction,” he reassured her.

Marlene smiled back. “You think so?”

Skipper saluted. “I know so.”
"Gin." Private said as he put his hand of cards on the table. "GAH!" Kowalski exclaimed as he threw his cards on the table. That was the 7th time in a row Private had beaten him. "Oh Kowalski! Don't be a sore loser!" Skipper told him from across the room. He was busy sorting through some classified files. "I'm not a sore loser!" Kowalski told him. "Then why are you so upset!?" Skipper asked. Kowalski looked down a little and muttered: "...Because...I just taught him how to play this morning..." Skipper and Rico held back a laugh as best as they could. "Oh...It's not that big a deal Kowalski!"...
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posted by NintendoPenguin
(Marlene's POV)

I sat in a corner in my habitat, tears pouring down my face. I was just too depressed to do anything right now. Not even the penguins could cheer me up.

I choked out a sob. No one ever liked me. No one would ever fall for me, no one had, or ever would even kiss me.

I would always be alone... even in death...

"Marlene?" I heard a voice say.

I looked up and saw Kowalski, the brains of the penguins at the entrance of my habitat. I quickly wiped my tears, and took a breath.

"Hey Kowalski." I said.

"Are you okay, Marlene?" He asked, his voice full of concern. "I was walking by, and I heard...
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Another conversation with dumb Kowalski 

Private: Okay, Kowalski. We need to get you smart again. Baby steps, okay?

Kowalski: What is a baby step? Is it like, a baby stepping? What is a baby?

Private: This is going to be harder than I thought.

15 minutes later…

Private: No, I said watermelon! Not gallon of water!

Kowalski: What is a watergellon? 

Private: I said WATERMELON!!!

Kowalski: Oh, watermelon. What is a watermelon?

Private: A watermelon is a fruit. It is juicy and a treat for humans.

Kowalski: Who is humans?

Private: As explained by smarter you, a human is the highest living life form.

Kowalski:...
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posted by werockz
Everyone went crazy including Skipper and Rico. the lemurs cannot stop. Just then, Private saw his CD that he downloaded from the internet. "Kowalski, I got an idea."Private briefly explained and Kowalski found it interesting.

Meanwhile, everyone went to the HQ. Suddenly, Private and Kowalski started the music.

Private: My hot dog's dead..

My pizza's dead.

My cupcake is dead.

Kowalski: Oh, uh, my doughnut's dead. My burger's dead.

My milkshake is dead.

Finn: All of our favorite foods

are totally dead.

They can not procreate in little food beds.

We'll eat them up

and turn them into stuff.

Kowalski: And we'll cry over their graves,

but ya can't cry enough...

Private and Kowalski: When you miss someone you love you can't cry enough.


Everyone stopped. The curse broke and everyone cheered for them even Skipper and Rico. Soon, they never forgot the day ever again.
User: Hello there! I'm Private! What's your name? :).

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Hi Cleverbot! :).

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: So how are you?

Cleverbot: I'm great! What about you?

User: I'm good! I'm just watching the Loonacorns! :).

Cleverbot: What do you watch?

User: The Loonacorns! It's a wonderful show about friendship and heart-warming life lessons! :).

Cleverbot: That's good.

User: Princess Self-Respectra is my favorite!

Cleverbot: My favorite superhero is SUPERMAN.

User: But Superman doesn't teach you any life lessons!

Cleverbot: You're right.

User: :).

Cleverbot: Do you like That 70.

User: What's that?...
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posted by Skiparah
Apparently I was wrong when I thought I'd seen the last of Hans that night. I couldn't have been more wrong. The next day he was back and glowing. "Hello chummy fun-pal!" he greeted, a derpy expression on his face. Back then I wasn't as paranoid as I am now, and I didn't smell foul play when it was in the air. I was just glad I had someone to talk to. We spent the day fooling around 'just like old times' as Hans said. It wasn't the same for me though. Too much had changed during that time. I'd fell for love. I'd lost love. I'd given up on life. I'd been rescued from death. That was alot to...
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posted by peacebaby7
Madagascar

Gloria & Melman...

Gloria: "How ya doin' weavin' those vines there, Melman?"

Melman: "It's kinda hard to do with my hooves..."

Gloria: "Here, let me help you..." *grabs Melman's hooves & helps him weave the vines* "There, like that."

Melman: "Oh...thanks..." *sigh*

Gloria: "You're welcome."

Skipper: "There you are higher mammal...& I mean that literally. I need your help."

Melman: "Uh, sure. What do you need me for?"

Skipper: "Just follow me."

*walks over to the platform area*

Melman: "OK, so we're at the platform site, but what do you need me here for?"

Skipper: "This operation...
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Scene 12

Underground Lair

Blowhole: "OK, Private. Here's the plan. I've been spying on Skipper for 2 years now. He'll be strong. He's gonna be smart. You, however, look just sweet and innocent enough to trick him into following you. Understand?"

Private: "Yes, but, how do I do that?"

Blowhole: "You'll figure it out when you see them."

Private: "What does he look like?"

Blowhole: *shows him picture* "This is who your looking for. He will be with 2 other penguins. I don't care if they come too. I can find something to do with them."

Private: "Aye."

Blowhole: "It's time. Bring them to me. Do not fail."...
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posted by peacebaby7
Antarctica

Angela: "John! Could you come here for a second?"

John: "Yes dear?"

Angela: "Could you look after Kowalski for a while? I need to go get his lunch."

John: "Sure, not doing much right now anyway."

*Kowalski was now 4 years old*

John: "What's up, scamp?"

Kowalski: "Hi, Dad. I'm just drawing pictures in the snow. Look! This one is of us & Mom! And this one is of me & Steve!"

John: "Steve & I."

Kowalski: "No, look, you can clearly see it's me..."

John: "No, that's not what I mean. The correct grammar is Steve & I. Not me & Steve."

Kowalski: *Kowalski looked back at the picture...
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posted by peacebaby7
Antarctica

"It's coming! Dan! Come quick! He's hatching!"

"Coming Teressa!"

*Teressa & Dan watch as their first egg hatches*

Teressa: *picks up hatchling & cradles it* "Oh, Dan! It's a boy! What should we name it?"

Dan: "Um, how about Skipper? It means leader."

Teressa: "Yes! That's it! Baby Skipper."

Skipper: "Mama!"

Teressa: "Yes, darling! Mama. And Dada." *gestures toward Dan*

5 Years Later...

Skipper: *runs up to Teressa & Dan* "Hi mom! Hi dad!"

Dan: "Hi son! How was school?"

Skipper: "Oh, it was a lot of fun. Is it okay if I go to Jake's to play?"

Dan: "It's alright with me. Teressa?"

Teressa:...
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posted by peacebaby7
Otter's Habitat

Otter: "You are...?"

Skipper: "I'm, um, I'm..."

Kowalski: O.o "This is Skipper. We were just coming to, uh, welcome, you to the zoo."

Otter: "Oh, how sweet. I'm Marlene. What about the rest of you?"

Private: "I'm Private! Nice to meet you Marlene!"

Kowalski: "And I'm Kowalski. The smart one."

Rico/Private: "Hey!"

Marlene: "What about him?"

Kowalski: "Oh, that's Rico...He...doesn't really...say...much."

Rico: "Hi! Iceooeetyou!"

Marlene: "No offense, but I lost you after hi."

Private: "Oh, he's just saying nice to meet you."

Marlene: "Wait, how do you underst--Never mind. Anyway, what's up...
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Chapter 1: Mysterious Birthday
Part 1: Missing
---100 years ago--
All of the penguins of Glacier Park cheered for young Henry's bravery. Henry made his speech with his clever British voice.

Henry: First of all, thank you for the cheers and applause. This statue was remarkable and very unique. I only have one wish to my family. The real chosen one or the emperor of all penguins will save all humankind and animals 100 years later. I just wish my descendant will try no matter what danger comes. Thank you.

When the penguins cheered, it was the start of a remarkable journey.

---100 years later---
It was...
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We wander through the snowy wasteland for miles on end. A loud moan comes out of nowhere and I turn my head in pursuit it find out where it is coming from. It contuines and my stomach vibrates and aches. A gnasiating feeling causes me to not feel so peachy.
"Keep up, Skipper, we're almost there!" He growls. I struggle to pick up the pace, but I'm just not fast enough. As clear the purest water, a cave sits under the sunset, gleaming. My breathing heavies as I enter.
The ice sparkles above and I feel like I'm walking through the blue beam of the northern lights. Fish bones dangle from the roof...
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this is part 5 of how i met Skipper and his team. so far me and Skipper were in the bush keeping dry from the rain. Skipper is well still hugging me and we don't know how long his team were going to show up.

little me: (being hugged by Skipper) where team?

Skipper: (hugging me) I don't know what's taking my team so long to get here.

little me: (still being hugged by Skipper) still sleeping.

Skipper: (still hugging me) I think you might be right Kiva.

little me: (still being hugged by Skipper) (heard something) (scared)

Skipper: (still hugging me) I got a feeling that doesn't sound good. come on we...
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"no, no, Marlene, be thinky about it!" Julien said through the radio, Marlene just turned off the radio and headed towards the castle like the others; but suddently, a flash passed through the surprised eyes of the five, and Maurice's ship burnt down

"help!help!" Maurice screamed, the team ran to his ship to secure it from falling, but it simply banished into thin air, letting the team very confused. Seconds later, the ship reapeared, but it was perfect.

"what the heck just happened?" Marlene shouted, very confused. The Commander (I MEAN it! last time: he's Private) took word in the radio

"what...
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posted by queenpalm
I am writing this to show others what I think happened to the penguins in earlier times. Don't get confused by all the names. There are lots of them.
.............….........................................………………….……….....
RICO

Rico had been swimming for a full ten minutes now, and he was really tired. Finally, he saw a rock, and swam towards it.
Once Rico got to the rock, he jumped onto it, and almost fell asleep. His eyelids were getting heavy, and he was weary.
Rico closed his eyes, and thought of his mother. She must've been so mad and sad to wake up and find her only chick...
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posted by queenpalm
Here is part six of my fan fiction. It's Johnson's story.

"Okay,"I said. "So I had just broke my wing, and was really embarrassed."
"There's nothing to be embarrassed about when you break a wing,"said Private."While you were gone, we all broke our wings. Of corse, that is a different story, we thought Skipper was a zombie and-."
"Yes, Private,"said Ivy. "We all get it. Now, Johnson is trying to tell a story of his own story, and I'd really like to hear it."
"Okay,"I continued. "Since I had a broken wing, I couldn't really think straight, so I walked into the parking lot, and jumped onto a blue...
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posted by queenpalm
This is part four of my fan fiction. Enjoy.

"So, uh, more about this Ivy,"I said.
"She's, um, pretty, smart, and has very good hearing,"Replied Private.
"Okay, pretty, smart, and good hearing," I said."Anything else you think would be good to know about her?"
"Well,"Said Private."She also has a great memory."
"Okay," I said. "Like I asked you before, can you help me get the others up?"
"Okay," Said Private. Then he started shaking Kowalski.
I thought very hard trying to remember how the easiest way to wake Skipper and Rico up was. They sleep like logs, so it's usually pretty hard.
"I think...
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Chapter 17: The Battle for Paris

Sly, Bentley, Private, Twilight, and Coryn arrived at Paris. However, Nyra was already there! “You must join the Tytonic Order of the Pure Ones, or you will be killed!” Nyra exclaimed. “We need a different plan!” Sly exclaimed. Back at the Central Park Zoo, Pat was asleep. RING! “Hello?” “Pat, we need a different plan!” “Hold on! I’ll be right there!”

“Okay, so Nyra is already here!?” “Yes! There must be hundreds of Pure Ones up there!” Coryn exclaimed. “I say we wage an all-out attack on the Pure Ones!” Twilight exclaimed. “Twilight,...
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Chapter 15: The Battle for Emperorland

Mumble, Otulissa, Skipper, and 25 guardians flew into emperorland. “Mumble!” “Ma! What the heck has been going on!?” “It’s been awful! The skuas have been attacking us, saying that if we don’t join something call the Tytonic Union of the Pure Ones, they would destroy us. Your father stood up to them, but…” “But what?” “They kidnapped him!” “Don’t worry. We will find him!”
Elsewhere in emperorland, Memphis was being interrogated by the Striga. “Now, tell me, where is your son!?” “I told you, I don’t know! He was...
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