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Kick in the Head 03.03.16

Note: This installment is humanized. It’s a silly improv idea I thought of and I randomly decided to turn it into a little ficlet.

— § —

Marlene sat at one of the chairs at a beauty shop, waiting for her stylist to come. She looked through a magazine that showed a bunch of women with various styles of hair, occasionally looking into the mirror and imagining her with a particular one.

“Ooh, girl! Look — at — you!” a woman said as she came to her side, fluffing her hair a bit. Her nametag read Tange and she had a thick, nasally Brooklyn accent. She had to be around seventy years old.

Taking the exclamation as a compliment, Marlene smiled. “Oh, thanks, I —”

“Just look at this rat’s nest on your head,” Tange continued. Marlene frowned and blinked in shock, completely caught off guard. “Donchu worry, honey. We’ll fix that right up for you. You’ll be beautiful in no time!”

“Um . . .” Marlene said, looking around awkwardly. “Thank you?”

“So, what style are you thinking?” she said, looking at her magazine over her shoulder.

“Well, I liked this one,” Marlene said, pointing to one of the women in the magazine.

Tange gasped and took the magazine to get a closer look. “Oh, that one’s beautiful!” She looked at Marlene and frowned. “But not on you. Pick something else,” she demanded, shoving the magazine back into Marlene’s hands.

Marlene, although a bit distraught by the woman’s attitude, just kept her opinions to herself and flipped through the magazine while Tange fiddled with her hair.

“You know, I had hair like that once, but the day I decided to perm it, I knew I was never going back. You ever thought about a perm?” she asked.

Marlene internally groaned. She didn’t care for perms, at least not on herself. Much too poofy for her taste. She put the magazine on the counter.

“You know,” she said, “I think I’ll wait a while longer before changing my hairstyle. I’ll just have you trim it for today.” She couldn’t wait to be done here so she could find a place with better service.

“You want me to trim it?” she asked, as if astonished by the request.

Marlene nodded. “Yes. That’s all I want.”

Tange sighed. “All right. I guess that’s better than doing nothing,” she said, looking at Marlene’s reflection distastefully. Marlene bit her tongue.

Marlene just tried to relax as Tange proceeded to trim her hair. She rambled on about her life story as she did so, but Marlene just closed her eyes and tuned her out, trying to focus on the music that played throughout the shop, muttering “mm-hm” every now and then to make it seem like she was paying attention.

Finally, Tange turned her around so she faced her reflection.

“There we go! Perfect,” she said, admiring what she labeled as her handiwork.

Marlene’s eyes widened as she took in her appearance. “Oh my God! What did you do to my hair!” she exclaimed, running her fingers through it. It was nowhere near her style, and definitely not what she’d asked for. It looked like something out of an eighties movie.

“Darling, I don’t know what you’re complaining about. You look fabulous,” Tange said, folding her arms.

“This is not what I asked for! What kind of stylist are you?” she asked, turning to Tange with her hands still on her hair.

“Stylist?” Tange inquired. “I’m not a stylist. I just work the cash register. You were the one to ask me to cut your hair. I just thought you didn’t really care about how you looked, if your hair didn’t make that obvious enough. That ain’t my fault.” She turned to walk away. “Some people can be so rude.”

Marlene stood there, a dumbfounded look on her face. What the actual hell!

At the last second, Tange turned back. “Oh, and by the way, your total’s forty-two fifty.”

[Words 634]
posted by sweetyKneul
Rico was in a kind of desert. No trees or bushes could be seen.
He looked around. As expected, he was alone.
He didn’t know what he should do so he just went through the desert.
After about ten minutes, he saw it. The flag!
"That was easy." He said, and wanted to run on to the flag.
But before he could even make a move, he noticed a movement on the left side.
He turned around and almost started to laugh!
A unicorn!
A sweet little baby unicorn!
That was all!
He ran a few yards to the foal. It whinnied happily.
"Okay, come here, I'll just beat you up and nothing else." He said.
The colt whinnied again...
continue reading...
posted by CuteCuddly
*Private's PoV*

The only reason we survive the explosion, is because of bad luck...which turns out to be GOOD luck.

We were running-well, CC and Skippah were runnning, I was being carried by Skippah. And CC trips and falls down a hidden staircase that goes down to a basement. Skippah quickly follows. Mere seconds before the explosion, we make it to the bottom and hear:

"THREE...TWO...ONE...!"

The whole base violently shakes and causes all of us to loose our balance, and collapse to the ground. We feel the heat from deep underground, which tells us the danger we were in just seconds ago.

We were...
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posted by RockOnPenguin
It was a sunny morning. Skipper was outside enjoying the fresh air. Marlene was with him.
M: Look at the colorful butterflies!
Marlene watched as the flamboyant creatures floated on by.
S: They sure look beautiful, Marlene.
Suddenly everything got dark. As if nighttime came upon them with great speed.
S: *YAWNS* I think I may take a nap on this soft grass.
M: *yawn* Me too!
Then Skipper and Marlene fell into a deep sleep.
When they finally woke up, they were in an unfamiliar area.
S: Where are we?
M: I don't know.
???: I think I can answer that for you.
Skipper and Marlene looked to they're left and saw...
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posted by stlouisfan
(Morning)

Skipper was the first one awake the very next morning; followed shortly by Rico and Kowalski. Skipper walked over to his coffee urn and began brewing some coffee.

"Well boys, what's on the agenda today?" Skipper asked as the coffee urn began gurgling.

Kowalski was about to answer when he noticed that Private's bunk was empty.

"Ummm... Skipper it appears that Private isn't here," Kowalski said as pointed at Private's bunk.

Skipper looked over and let out a little growl.

"Seriously? What is going on with Private? I don't mind it if it's for the guests, but if it gets in the way of our training...
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the next mourning.

Me: (wakes up) mourning guys.

Everyone: mourning Kiva.

Me: (gets out one snack and a bottle of water from my backpack)

Mort: why did you get snack and water?

Me: because the snack will give me energy and water will make me hydrate Mort (eats my snack then drinks a little bit of water).

Skipper: you're lucky Kiva. the rest of us need water as well you know.

Me: I know Skipper maybe all of us should go look for water.

Maurice: what?!

Marlene: Kiva are you crazy there are wild animals out there plus you're injured!

Me: I maybe injured Marlene but what choose do I have? I can't risk you...
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posted by BrightLight92
Kowalski sat patiently on his bench in Central Park. It was under an efflorescing Cherry tree, which he knew was her favorite. It was early spring and the bright sun splashed through holes in the flowering canopy of the park's trees. The slight breeze blew a few petals from the trees, causing them to fall and create a blanket of pink and white softness. It was everything he imagined for the start of a romance. The scientist pulled out his notepad and looked at his prediction for the day's happening. He spent much too long thinking of the moment.

She'd walk towards him slowly, look around in...
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"SKIPPER!" Private screamed, a crab had clawed his bum, and wouldn't let go. He ran around frantically, Skipper extended his flipper *bam* Private hit Skippers flipper and fell flat on the hard black sea-stone. "Skipa!!" Rico screamed, his head had caught alight while trying to light a fire. "Ahh!!! Bob is angry!!" Kowalski screamed, his tuna fish had caught alight. Skipper just stood and watched all three penguins running around frantically, he was on the verge of exploding with anger, he frowned so low you could barley see his eyes. "Skipper!" He heard two voices cry from behind. "What is...
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posted by stlouisfan
A shadowy figure grabbed Skipper's tape recorder and moved into a seperate and more private room. The figure closed the door and made sure that he was alone. He pushed the record button on the tape recorder and began speaking.

"Private's log. June, 8th. I am very frightened now. It has been only a couple of days, but I fear that my life may be in danger. I've had some frightening enemies in the past. Dr. Blowhole, The Red Squirrel, and even the Amarillo Kid. But this guy frightens me more than any of them combined. Who is this person that frightens me? I don't even know who he is. No, not he....
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"(Snore...Snore...) OW!!!" Starlite yelled, something had hit her head while she was sleeping. She rubbed her eyes and then opened them. Her beak dropped. It was a oasis, the grass was go green you would say it was plastic, palm trees and fruit trees surrounded a crystal-clear river, the river was fed by a beautiful waterfall. If you could call it that, the waterfall was only a metre high. "Am i in heaven?" She whispered as she looked at the fish swimming in the crystal water. "No, because you don't belong there." She heard a familiar voice say, Skipper came swooping in via a vine, he was dripping....
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Dreaming in Black ‘N’ White

Chapter 2 – The Competition

    Back at the Central Park Zoo, Kowalski, Rico and Private were desperately trying to think of ways to change Skipper’s mind. “What are we going to do?!” Private asked the others, with a concerned look on his face, “This is only one night of the entire year. Skipper can’t afford to miss it.” “Don’t worry Private. I’m sure Skipper will come tonight. He just need time to think this through is all.” Kowalski assured him. “Do you think he would?” “Affirmative. However, if you’re not positively...
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posted by Saracuda
Liberty was deep into a painting when it happened. She loved painting. It help soothe her when things went wrong. She loved the gentle strokes of her brush as her masterpeices took form. Today a radiant image of the African plain glowed before her. She was almost done. The last thing to do was the sky. Suddenly she heard a familiar voice, "Am I interrupting something?"
Liberty gasped, looking around, her amber eyes darting to the entrance of her cave. A streak of sky blue slashed across the african plain. She looked back in dismay. Her homeland was ruined. She turned to see who'd been the cause...
continue reading...
posted by Gumball17
Private's PoV
It's 6:30 a. m., and I'm wide awake. This is nothing unusual; Skipper usually makes us rise before the sun. I don't mind though; I like spending time with my friends, even if it's while doing drills and practice. After that was done, we combed the zoo for any suspicious activity. Finding none, we headed back to our enclosure to do random stuff. The first thing Kowalski did was go to work on his new invention. I'm not sure what it's supposed to do; all I know is he says it's his "best ever" and that it'll "change history". I've heard it all before. We all have. Kowalski makes a...
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In the POM universe
P: Wow! We're actually in OUR universe for the race!
S: Focus, Private, we're here to race!
P: Right. (they drive up to the Masked Power Racer's car)
Power Racer: I see, we're in your universe, guys.
S: Yea! Our universe, our territory! If you wanna battle, we'll battle!
K: We can be really fierce!
Power Racer: Look, guys, as wierd as it may seem, I don't want to hurt you guys.
S: We didn't come for a soap opera, we came to race! (Team MAD's car is right behind them)
Ramsay: Got the laser lights ready?
Jack: Ready! (flaming lasers come out of the car lights and the Power Racer uses...
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In the Family Guy universe
Peter: I got the fuel we need. (pulls out some cans of beer)
Cleveland: Quick question, is the beer for the fuel or for you?
Peter: For the fuel, Cleveland. (runs over a skeleton on a motorcycle) Sorry, Ghost Rider!
P: We're seem to be making more progress than Johnny Test and Robot Chicken.
K: Seems like Susan is making something to keep everything Johnny can hear censored.
S: You can tell from the rearview mirror?
K: Well, yea, and I have a feeling that some foul language is gonna come along. (the Masked Power Racer's car comes by the penguins' car and the window is down)...
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skipper and his palls sat at their beds, they just had arough day they fught with each other, but Skipper was alert, like always, thenb, he could hear someone knocking the door, or the fishbowl, he runned towards the enter, he hoped to see a lemur and otter or even Mandy, but what he saw was something that ruined his happiness: Hans the Denmark puffin.

"Hans?!"

"hey Skipper, I need your help, could you come out here?"

"why should I?"

"because last time we met I didn't try to kill you?"

"maybe because you were fighting androids?"

"look, I changed, and I have a deal!"

"a deal was what made me public...
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Skipper's sense of adventure rised, he always wanted to be on a sky-high fight,

and his dream was finally coming true! He looked for any button, he finally saw one with wings,

after activating it he heard the voice of the computer


"deploying wings" Skipper moved what seemed to be a manuver lever, he saw one, and pressed the big

red button in the top of the lever,

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM the ship was destroyed by the missle Skipper shoot, suddently a voice came

"help! they're on me!" it was marlene,

Skipper wasn't an idiot, maybe he could gain her atention through the classic one: heroic accion!


"don't worry,...
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I come across Kowalski constructing a new invention while he's listening to music.
Me: Kowalski?
K: (drops ipod) Aaagh! (looks behind him) Oh, Monique, it's you.
Me: What's the invention this time?
K: Well, it's the Vocaltunage Imagery Ray.
Me: Judging by the name, does it turn songs into actions depending on the song?
K: Actually yes. Now let me set up a song and shoot a laser in the sky. (shoots laser in the sky surrounding the zoo)
Me: What song is it?
K: You'll see.
Jessica: Grandma Monique! (walks towards me and Kowalski)
Me: I told you, Jessica, just call me "Monique".
Jessica: Alright, Monique,...
continue reading...
posted by chatterbox55
the date is august 25,2009 the day started out as usual for the penguins private on the other hand has been acting very odd so the vet decided to put private on happy pills....

skipper:you know kowalski private hasn't been acting the same ever since he went on those pills.

kowalski: i agree with you skipper he's been acting very very odd you know i've caught him talking to a wall when his alone.

skipper:really?

kowalski:yeah and he's been saying some odd words too.
(private comes into H.Q. all bloody)

skipper:private are you okay?

private:sure i am skippa i just went to see alice that's all but she...
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A fatal Dispute

When they got back to the oak, they were welcomed by the others. Glad that they had found what they needed, they began to divide up the food. In fact it were only the fruits that had to be shared; the penguins and the otter had brought their own food, and Burt was anyway eating from the trees – although he quite missed his peanuts. But the chimpanzees, lemurs and baboons had the same nurture and so they had to share fairly. This wouldn't have been a problem, if it hadn't been for Julien. The amount of food for them was little and he insisted of getting more than the others....
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In the City

°.

The wind was slightly shaking the trees as the group of five animals went over the grass in the cover of the trunks' shadows.

Marlene would have preferred that Private had stayed at the oak but he had said he wanted to help. Rico had wanted to come with them, but Mason had been adamant that he stayed in bed for two more days. Finally Rico had given in. Marlene had been puzzled of the intensity with that Rico wanted to stay at Private's side…

As they approached the streets of New York they noticed at once that something was wrong.

Marlene, Private, King Julien, Maurice and Mort...
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