*One week later : Friday*
I sat on the couch watching the newest movie I had made,"Queen of the Damned" and I played the sister of LeStat, Lillia. Michael had wanted to watch it but then left near the ending to get ready to pack for his flight. He had to leave the house by 5:30 and his flight leaves at 6:30 for his tour with his brothers. As I kept thinking about the fact Michael was leaving and I wasn't going to see him for three years, I started to cry but I tried to keep it in. It was hard for me to be without him before. Now since we're in love and engaged, I don't think I can go through that again. I started to debate whether I should help him or not. Might as well cherish the last moments I'm going to have with him before I send him off at the airport. I headed my way up to our room and wiped the tears off my face.
I entered into our bedroom finding Michael sitting on his side of the bed, crying. I crawled across the bed and sat behind him with me legs spread apart so I could be against his back and I wrapped my arms around him. "Michael, what's the matter? What's wrong?" He grabbed my thigh from behind him and said,"I don't want to do this. I can't leave you. I don't want to leave." I started to get teary-eyed feel terrible for Michael. "I know, baby. I don't want you to go either, but before you know it we'll be back together. I'll come home from my tour and we'll be together again." I started to kiss his shoulder and tried to comfort him in anyway I could.
He stood up and started to come ontop of me and kiss my lips hard and deep like never before. "But I don't *kiss* want to wait three *kiss* years to be able to *kiss* hold you or *kiss* hug you or *kiss* kiss you or touch you or *long kiss* make love to you. I need you." Michael never gave me a chance to speak. All he did was trap me with his sweet mouth. He tried so hard to remove my shirt while grinding and kissing me but I kept resisting. "Michael......ugh.....you have to *kiss* stop." Michael slowly slid his tongue into my mouth and kept putting it in there as he kissed me hard. He never kissed me like that. Hard and deep while French Kissing me? He never rammed his tongue down my throat until now. I can tell he was upset and he wanted this just one last time before he was to say "Goodbye" until 1987.
I needed him to listen. Michael wasn't focusing on my words. I put my hands on his chest and started to rub up and down. I let out moans whenever my mouth was somewhat free. Michael was also doing that while still grinding me and making me wrap my legs around his waist. He let go of my lips and was about to rip my shirt apart. He was now rougher than ever! I placed my hands on his, indicating I didn't want Michael to do it. "What?" he asked. "Michael, I know you love me and I know you don't want to leave me but you have no choice. And as much as I would like to make love with you one more time before we are separated, we can't. We don't have time. Good thing your bag is packed because we have to go now." I got off the bed and stood in front of Michael and grabbed his hand. He grabbed his last suitcase and we headed outside to the limo.
*At the airport*
Michael and his brothers all went to make sure everything was still ready for the jet. As they were all boarding the plane, Michael stayed off. He watched his brothers give their luggage and walk up the steps to the plane. Michael handed his own luggage and looked back at me. He said something to the pilot and started to walk back my way. I figured he wanted to say "Goodbye" one more time. I started walking towards him and cry. Michael came up to me and wrapped his arms across my back and I wrapped my arms around his neck. We hugged each other the same way we did then night we had our first kiss. I was trying to hold back the tears but they kept coming out. I rubbed the back of his head and held him tight to me. "I'm going to miss you, so much." I said. "I'll miss you, too. I'll call every single day while I'm tour. I promise."
We finally let go of our grip and looked at each other. "I love you." I said while beginning to really cry. Michael had tears coming out of his eyes but he wasn't crying. "I love you." Michael grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me in to kiss him one more time. I pulled him into me as much as I could as he put his arms back around me. Our tears went down to our lips and mixed with the kiss. I held the back of Michael's head and, this time, started to, once more, French Kiss him. I could feel his grip getting tighter on my back. Our fast pace finally started to slow down and we started to kiss more gently. We stop but our lips were still touching. I caressed the side of his face as we gave each other one more peck. Michael looked at me and cupped his hand on the side of my face. "Everything will be okay. I promise. I won't break my promise to marry you. I swear." he said.
Michael gave me one more quick peck on my mouth and slowly let go of my body and just held my left hand. As he slowly walked backwards, Michael let go of my hand. I saw him turn around to face the plane. I could feel my heart ache as I watched him leave. I wanted to do nothing but cry. I saw Michael turn back around to face me before he walked inside of the plane and wave to me. I waved back and watched him disappear. I was still crying even though I felt I was somewhat overreacting. I couldn't see any of the boys anymore. They all disappeared before my eyes. I heard the plane get ready to take off and saw Michael in one of the windows watching me. As the plane started to move away, I waved to Michael as he did to me. Next thing I knew, Michael was out of my sight and the plane was off the ground and in the air.
I walked back to the limo, holding my cell phone, waiting for it to ring and it be Michael. I honestly didn't feel as much pain as I thought I would. My stomach ached and I wanted to cry but I didn't feel like my heart was ripped out again. Maybe it's because I knew I would see Michael again. I wasn't being torn away from him, I was just not going to see him for a while. I still missed him terribly. I rode in the far back by myself and put in my earbuds to listen to music. I turned my mP3 Player up to 15 and drowned myself in extremely loud heavy metal music. I never listen to mine or Michael's music when I'm upset about us. I could feel my ear vibrating from the hard guitar and drums and the loud screaming the singer was making. Even though the person was screaming, I still understood what they were saying and the chorus fit how I felt perfectly.
The lyrics were,"I see hell in your eyes/Take it in by surprise/Touching you makes me feel alive/Touching you makes me die inside/". When I did look into Michael's eyes, they were bright like the fires from hell and I was always surprised by some of his "naughty" actions. When I do feel him and touch, I do feel alive and when I do touch him, my darker side dies. Everything that is said in the chorus is what I feel. And I feel......loved but alone. I closed my eyes and listened to the music until I got to my big mansion "Never-Land".
After I came home and went upstairs, I took a shower and cleaned myself up and put on one of my shirts finding one of Michael's button-down shirts on the floor. I lifted it up and held it close, taking in the sweet smell Michael left on it. I decided to wear his shirt instead so I could feel like he was somewhat here. I looked at the clock and saw it was 9:00 pm. Michael still hasn't called but that probably because he is still on the plane flying to Italy.
I crawled into bed and layed there, thinking of all the memories Michael and I have created in this room. All the funny memories, sweet memories, "naughty" memories and passionate memories. I closed my eyes and remembered the first time I saw him again and remembered how I felt when I saw Michael again. I layed there with my eyes shut and never opened them again. I started to feel tears running down the side of my face. As I layed there, I ended up crying myself to sleep on Michael's side of the bed, praying I would feel his arms around me and his body against mine while hearing his sweet innocent voice saying,"I love you". But the weird thing is I DID feel a body against me and arms around me and I DID hear his voice but he didn't say "I love you" he said "I'm here for you". I slowly turned around to see. . . . .
To be continued............
I sat on the couch watching the newest movie I had made,"Queen of the Damned" and I played the sister of LeStat, Lillia. Michael had wanted to watch it but then left near the ending to get ready to pack for his flight. He had to leave the house by 5:30 and his flight leaves at 6:30 for his tour with his brothers. As I kept thinking about the fact Michael was leaving and I wasn't going to see him for three years, I started to cry but I tried to keep it in. It was hard for me to be without him before. Now since we're in love and engaged, I don't think I can go through that again. I started to debate whether I should help him or not. Might as well cherish the last moments I'm going to have with him before I send him off at the airport. I headed my way up to our room and wiped the tears off my face.
I entered into our bedroom finding Michael sitting on his side of the bed, crying. I crawled across the bed and sat behind him with me legs spread apart so I could be against his back and I wrapped my arms around him. "Michael, what's the matter? What's wrong?" He grabbed my thigh from behind him and said,"I don't want to do this. I can't leave you. I don't want to leave." I started to get teary-eyed feel terrible for Michael. "I know, baby. I don't want you to go either, but before you know it we'll be back together. I'll come home from my tour and we'll be together again." I started to kiss his shoulder and tried to comfort him in anyway I could.
He stood up and started to come ontop of me and kiss my lips hard and deep like never before. "But I don't *kiss* want to wait three *kiss* years to be able to *kiss* hold you or *kiss* hug you or *kiss* kiss you or touch you or *long kiss* make love to you. I need you." Michael never gave me a chance to speak. All he did was trap me with his sweet mouth. He tried so hard to remove my shirt while grinding and kissing me but I kept resisting. "Michael......ugh.....you have to *kiss* stop." Michael slowly slid his tongue into my mouth and kept putting it in there as he kissed me hard. He never kissed me like that. Hard and deep while French Kissing me? He never rammed his tongue down my throat until now. I can tell he was upset and he wanted this just one last time before he was to say "Goodbye" until 1987.
I needed him to listen. Michael wasn't focusing on my words. I put my hands on his chest and started to rub up and down. I let out moans whenever my mouth was somewhat free. Michael was also doing that while still grinding me and making me wrap my legs around his waist. He let go of my lips and was about to rip my shirt apart. He was now rougher than ever! I placed my hands on his, indicating I didn't want Michael to do it. "What?" he asked. "Michael, I know you love me and I know you don't want to leave me but you have no choice. And as much as I would like to make love with you one more time before we are separated, we can't. We don't have time. Good thing your bag is packed because we have to go now." I got off the bed and stood in front of Michael and grabbed his hand. He grabbed his last suitcase and we headed outside to the limo.
*At the airport*
Michael and his brothers all went to make sure everything was still ready for the jet. As they were all boarding the plane, Michael stayed off. He watched his brothers give their luggage and walk up the steps to the plane. Michael handed his own luggage and looked back at me. He said something to the pilot and started to walk back my way. I figured he wanted to say "Goodbye" one more time. I started walking towards him and cry. Michael came up to me and wrapped his arms across my back and I wrapped my arms around his neck. We hugged each other the same way we did then night we had our first kiss. I was trying to hold back the tears but they kept coming out. I rubbed the back of his head and held him tight to me. "I'm going to miss you, so much." I said. "I'll miss you, too. I'll call every single day while I'm tour. I promise."
We finally let go of our grip and looked at each other. "I love you." I said while beginning to really cry. Michael had tears coming out of his eyes but he wasn't crying. "I love you." Michael grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me in to kiss him one more time. I pulled him into me as much as I could as he put his arms back around me. Our tears went down to our lips and mixed with the kiss. I held the back of Michael's head and, this time, started to, once more, French Kiss him. I could feel his grip getting tighter on my back. Our fast pace finally started to slow down and we started to kiss more gently. We stop but our lips were still touching. I caressed the side of his face as we gave each other one more peck. Michael looked at me and cupped his hand on the side of my face. "Everything will be okay. I promise. I won't break my promise to marry you. I swear." he said.
Michael gave me one more quick peck on my mouth and slowly let go of my body and just held my left hand. As he slowly walked backwards, Michael let go of my hand. I saw him turn around to face the plane. I could feel my heart ache as I watched him leave. I wanted to do nothing but cry. I saw Michael turn back around to face me before he walked inside of the plane and wave to me. I waved back and watched him disappear. I was still crying even though I felt I was somewhat overreacting. I couldn't see any of the boys anymore. They all disappeared before my eyes. I heard the plane get ready to take off and saw Michael in one of the windows watching me. As the plane started to move away, I waved to Michael as he did to me. Next thing I knew, Michael was out of my sight and the plane was off the ground and in the air.
I walked back to the limo, holding my cell phone, waiting for it to ring and it be Michael. I honestly didn't feel as much pain as I thought I would. My stomach ached and I wanted to cry but I didn't feel like my heart was ripped out again. Maybe it's because I knew I would see Michael again. I wasn't being torn away from him, I was just not going to see him for a while. I still missed him terribly. I rode in the far back by myself and put in my earbuds to listen to music. I turned my mP3 Player up to 15 and drowned myself in extremely loud heavy metal music. I never listen to mine or Michael's music when I'm upset about us. I could feel my ear vibrating from the hard guitar and drums and the loud screaming the singer was making. Even though the person was screaming, I still understood what they were saying and the chorus fit how I felt perfectly.
The lyrics were,"I see hell in your eyes/Take it in by surprise/Touching you makes me feel alive/Touching you makes me die inside/". When I did look into Michael's eyes, they were bright like the fires from hell and I was always surprised by some of his "naughty" actions. When I do feel him and touch, I do feel alive and when I do touch him, my darker side dies. Everything that is said in the chorus is what I feel. And I feel......loved but alone. I closed my eyes and listened to the music until I got to my big mansion "Never-Land".
After I came home and went upstairs, I took a shower and cleaned myself up and put on one of my shirts finding one of Michael's button-down shirts on the floor. I lifted it up and held it close, taking in the sweet smell Michael left on it. I decided to wear his shirt instead so I could feel like he was somewhat here. I looked at the clock and saw it was 9:00 pm. Michael still hasn't called but that probably because he is still on the plane flying to Italy.
I crawled into bed and layed there, thinking of all the memories Michael and I have created in this room. All the funny memories, sweet memories, "naughty" memories and passionate memories. I closed my eyes and remembered the first time I saw him again and remembered how I felt when I saw Michael again. I layed there with my eyes shut and never opened them again. I started to feel tears running down the side of my face. As I layed there, I ended up crying myself to sleep on Michael's side of the bed, praying I would feel his arms around me and his body against mine while hearing his sweet innocent voice saying,"I love you". But the weird thing is I DID feel a body against me and arms around me and I DID hear his voice but he didn't say "I love you" he said "I'm here for you". I slowly turned around to see. . . . .
To be continued............
Today is the two-year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death -- and the saga has played out like a soap opera about betrayal, jealousy, love, greed and redemption.
When TMZ broke the news, it triggered a flood of stories about Jackson's struggles with drugs, the doctors who enabled him, the mystery surrounding his death, a little known drug called propofol, a family war against Michael's estate, a full court press to erase Michael's debt, and a posthumous marketing campaign to rival Elvis.
Take a look at TMZ's timeline from the moment we found something was terribly wrong with Michael.
When TMZ broke the news, it triggered a flood of stories about Jackson's struggles with drugs, the doctors who enabled him, the mystery surrounding his death, a little known drug called propofol, a family war against Michael's estate, a full court press to erase Michael's debt, and a posthumous marketing campaign to rival Elvis.
Take a look at TMZ's timeline from the moment we found something was terribly wrong with Michael.
In a lost world
I hear your voice
Calling for heaven
Cast away
Caught in memories
You must believe
Love will come through
I’ll be your angel
In your darkest night
I’ll be your destiny
Waiting by your side
I’ll be the sunshine
When you’re feeling blue
I’m always here
For you
Comes a day
Heart on fire
When all your faith
Seems to be missing
Go your way
And you’ll find there
A land of hope
A land of dreams
I’ll be your angel
In your darkest night
I’ll be your destiny
Waiting by your side
I’ll be the sunshine
When you’re feeling blue
I’m always here
For you
And when you lose it all
And nothing seems right
Just keep holding on to me
I’ll be your angel
In your darkest night
I’ll be your destiny
Waiting by your side
I’ll be the sunshine
When you’re feeling blue
I’m always here
For you
Michael my heart,
last night I dream of you,
you were embracing me from my back.
I heard your heartbeat and it beats so fast,
like our promise that our love will never end.
We had so much fun together,
that I wished to go on forever.
Talks and laugh ,kissing and cuddling,
like no other people existing.
Holding each others hands while we walked,
all your attention was just for us.
I can't think of anything when you talked,
but I love you more and more, you see.
We stopped walking and you looked at me sweetly,
then you leaned over and kissed me.
My heart popped out and I saw butterflies,
you said you love me truly. oh sorry and then, I awake up and my dream was to end.
It was still a memory to reminisce, your kiss was so tender and sweet.
Love and miss you !! ♥
last night I dream of you,
you were embracing me from my back.
I heard your heartbeat and it beats so fast,
like our promise that our love will never end.
We had so much fun together,
that I wished to go on forever.
Talks and laugh ,kissing and cuddling,
like no other people existing.
Holding each others hands while we walked,
all your attention was just for us.
I can't think of anything when you talked,
but I love you more and more, you see.
We stopped walking and you looked at me sweetly,
then you leaned over and kissed me.
My heart popped out and I saw butterflies,
you said you love me truly. oh sorry and then, I awake up and my dream was to end.
It was still a memory to reminisce, your kiss was so tender and sweet.
Love and miss you !! ♥
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just...
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile...
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
I care for Michael Jackson cause he made me believe that you can do anything if you set your mind to it he has made me happy rather its his smile or music the song "Cry" i would always listen to when i felt down or sad but i would look up and keep my head to the sky. I know Michael tried to change the world and he couldnt do it by himself. He needes help im wanting to help the world so bad and hope that people will never forget the King Of Pop. I have learned so many things if you compare my life with his. Well thats another story but i love michael hes my idol some one i look up to hes always made me smile and if haters cant see that. Let them hate we dont care right? if you will comet why you love and care for Michael Jackson our King of Pop