need spells?

I need a mermaid spell

First you need a full moon and body of water, like a River, Lake, Ocean, something like that but bathubs, showers and pools dont work because it needs to be a origanal body of water then while in the water with a blessed knife you need to cut yourself in the legs in the shape of your tail and and then say, I wish to harness the power of Triton and i plead to become one with the sea. So Triton please give me the blessing to become your child and make me belive. Then you need to think really hard on what color you want your tail to be, if it is a blend of colors like red shaded into pink you need to focus very very hard or you might end up with grey, and trust me that is not atractive to other mermen and then you pray to Triton and ask for the gift of, freezing water, freezing time, shaping water or evaporating water then on the next full moon you will become and if you are not in water THE SAME WATER YOU WERE IN you will die slowly and painfully