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posted by simpleplan
Knock knock?

Who's there?

You Know.

You-Know-Who?

That's right!Avada Kedavra

How many Animagi does it take to light up a wand?
-Two dozen, because only one of them is actually registered.

Hermione went to Madam Pomfrey with uncontrollable hiccups to see if she could do something to stop them. Madam Pomfrey examined her all over and then pronounced gravely, 'I got news for you, Miss Granger. You''re pregnant.' At that news Hermione fainted on the spot, and when she finally came round a few minutes later she asked 'Oh, dear - am i really pregnant?' - 'Of course not!' she said 'But it has cured your hiccups, hasn't it?

How do you keep a Gryffendor in suspense? *walk away*

How many weasley's does it take to light up a wand?
Seven: Ginny to look upset and do nothing, Ron to sulk, Fred and George to blow it up, Percy to yell, Charlie to hold it in front of a dragon and Bill to roll his eyes at everyone.

How many Dark Lords does it take to light up a wand?
Two: One to light it and the other to kill him and take the credit.

How many Voldemorts does it take to light up a wand?
None, now you see thats why he's called the DARK lord.


How many dragons does it take to light up a wand?
*whoosh of flames*
~~~Never mind.

How many Weasleys does it take to light up a wand?
~~~One, but they'll have to search through a pile of the twins' fake ones first.

How many Muggle kids does it take to light up a wand?
~~~Two, one to light it (with a match), and the other to be blamed for burning down the school.

Why did Potter cross the road?
No reason, but someone will write a book about it.

Why do Slytherins cross the road twice?
Because they are doublecrossers.

How many Potters does it take to change a lightbulb?
One: he holds it and the world revolves around him

How many stuck-up arrogant teachers *coughLockhartcough* does it take to light a wand?
<<Only one, but he's too busy fixing his oh-so-perfect hair and coordinating his robes. But of course, he could light a wand with his hands tied behind his back, if he wanted to

How many Ravenclaws does it take to light up a wand?
Twenty-two Ravnclaws: five running around the library
to find the quickest, most effective manner. Seven to
practice the spell to make sure that it�s safe and
it works. Three to inform the professors of what
they're doing so they can get the credit. Four to
contemplate over whose wand has the best core
material for performing this spell. One to stand by
with a fire extinguisher just in case. One to
actually light the wand and one more to point out how
I spelled "Ravenclaw" wrong...those clever Ravenclaws!>>


How many ghosts does it take to light a wand?
Answer, as given by Moaning Myrtle: That's so insensitive! How can you ask me that when you know perfectly well I can't hold a wand because I'm...I'm... *bursts into hysterical sobs and flushes herself to go spy on the Prefects*
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