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posted by fanofh2o
I will not skip to the headmaster's office singing 'we're off to see the wizard' ... lol

"I will not make jokes about Lupin and 'his time of the month'"

Knock knock.
Whos there?
You know.
You know who?
He's dead, you can say his name now.



How many deatheaters does it take to light up a wand?
One, but you'll have to find one with a hand.

How many snape's does it take to light up a wand?
WAIT! HE'S ABOUT TO INVENT THE NEWEST REMEDY FOR GREASY HAIR!

The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".

I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. (luv this one)

House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".

I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.

The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.

Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".

Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

When I get sent to the headmasters office, I will Not sing 'We're off to see the wizard!'

how many slytherins does it take to screw a light bulb
5. 1 to screw the light bulb and 4 to say with their fathers connection at the ministry they could screw it faster

Whats snapes boggart?
and he was like what?
And i said " A cauldron full of Shampoo!"

.-Knock, knock
-Who's there?
-Cornelius
-Cornelius who?
-Well, that's politics for you.........

Why did Potter cross the road.
No reason, but someone will write a book about it.

Why did Draco cross the road?
So he could swing his hips at Potter.

Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road?
Draco did.

Why did the Dark Lord cross the road?
Because Potter couldn't stop him.

Why did Death Eaters cross the road?
The Dark Lord ordered it.

Why did Trevor cross the road?
To get away from Longbottom.

Why did Dumbledore cross the road?
He was following the poisoned lemon drops.

Why did Professor Snape stand in the road?
So no one could tell what side he was on.

Why do Slytherins cross the road twice?
Because they are doublecrossers.

How many Purebloods does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What's a lightbulb?

How many witches does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the Wizarding World doesn't use lightbulbs.

How many wizards does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb. One to rotate the room.

How many Muggles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. It is the only thing they are good for.

How many aurors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The Dark Lord already killed the ones with that kind of know-how.
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posted by cutechibineko
Ways to piss off Lord Voldemort!
1) Steal his wand and tell him Nagini ate it.

2) Whenever he speaks to you, bow low and say, "Yes, sensei."

3) Replace your Death Eater mask with a Dark Vader mask & insist that, "Tom....I am your father."

4) Sign him up as a kindergarten teacher.

5) Tell him Dumbledore has a ring like his.

6) Tell him you are worried that his obsession with Harry Potter isn't healthy, & he should just confess his love for him.

7) Skip around Malfoy Manor rapping as loud as you can, "H to the A to the R to the R to the Y, what does that spell? HARRY!"

8) Follow him around all...
continue reading...
posted by Kate481216
Wow according to Yahoo Royal Mail is to release Fantasy stamps!!! I personally think its very cool!!

Its going to be called "The magical realms collection" For Harry Potter fans there is going to be: Voldemort and Dumbledore ones!!

There is also gonna be Aslan and the White witch from Narnia and Nanny Ogg and Rincewald ones from Terry Pratchett's book Discworld.

There are also going to be Arthurian Legends ones of Morgan le Faye and Merlin !

I have also found out that the UK is getting a Harry Potter atraction (about time too, right?)
however it won't have rides, Hogwarts ect like the one in Florida !*sigh* (And there hasn't been alot of information relesed about it !)

Just a bit of News some of you might like to read!And i realize it isn't completely HP related!
(so please no rude or offensive comments please,thank you xxx)