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posted by SwarlsBarkley
Compiled from the Twitter contest held by @nerdist.

JanetVarney: Yo momma so fat the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses

chris8675309: Yo mamma so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is the soul station on satellite radio

sarazafar: Yo mama so fat she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge

dino_rider: Yo mama’s so ugly the Dementor’s Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.

bradheintz: Yo mama so nasty, Dobby wouldn’t take her sock

Burnaway: Yo momma so skanky, even her patronus got knocked up

chompychomp: Yo mama so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve

Dick_M: yo momma so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue

dtejano: Yo mama’s so masculine, she makes Dumbledore go, “DAAAYYYUMM!”

habcous: yo mamma so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark

HakSolo: your mom is so fat if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill

dantelfer: Yo mamma so fat, she has to enchant her panties into a portkey to get out of a chair

dirk_funk: Yo mama so fat it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her

MarioEGarcia: yo mama so poor she went to Honeydukes and put a chocolate frog on layaway

melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat she got stuck in the Floo Network

melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat her wand is a Slim Jim

MikeDrucker: Yo’ Momma so fat she joined the Death Eaters ’cause she was hungry

MsJG: Yo Momma’s so fugly that even Voldemort won’t speak her name

paulscheer: Yo Mamma is so fat that even the Dementors can’t suck out her soul in one sitting

phirm: Yo Mama so nasty, everybody call her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked”

Taborifica: Yo momma so fat even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks

MarioEGarcia Yo momma's so fat the sorting hat assigned her to the House of Pancakes     

cvgurau: Your momma so dumb, they put the Sorting Hat on her head and all it heard was an echo.     

chris8675309: Your momma so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham

DavidAkers: Yo momma so old, there ain't an Age Line that can stop her.     

elchupahueso: your family's so poor that you make the weaseleys look like the Malfoy's!     

girl_noir: Yo mamma so fat, she splinched herself an' nobody noticed.     

HakSolo: Your mom is so ugly when she walked into Gringotts Wizarding Bank, they gave her a job application.     

hollibo83: yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor screamed "riddikulus"     

MarioEGarcia: Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore     

DavidAkers: Yo momma so ugly, no one can tell when she's an Animagus.

R-Silent: Yo momma so fat her patronus is a cake
added by shieldmaiden
Source: Warner Bros.
HP
added by KathyHalliwell
added by shieldmaiden
Source: Warner Bros.
added by swimswamswum
Source: MuggleNet.com
added by shieldmaiden
Source: Warner Bros.
added by PotterGal
added by tubby2002
added by tubby2002
added by kathiria82
First of all I have to admit that I initially liked the twilight. The first movie I mean, it was pretty entertaining. Then I saw new moon and eclipse, hated both these films. The character I started to like initially were spoiled in thFor example ever since Edward’s suicide attempt in new moon and Jacob’s begging for Bella’s love, I despised both those characters.
Okay here is the deal.
Breaking was a hope that there will be some improvement in the saga, especially in terms of direction and acting. My friends told me that the movie breaking dawn was great and that they felt like crying...
continue reading...
posted by SpecialAgentKat
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: ...

1) Seamus Finnegan is not after me lucky charms
2) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
9) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real...
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posted by crazyfanatic
Dear Harry Potter fans, these are hard days for us, because our greatest story is getting beaten by silly vampires. Twilight fans are taking over, and we are not doing anyrhing. They say it's ridiculoud and pointless, show them they're wrong!We're not letting this happen! Did you see how much fans they got? How many people are there in twilight club? MORE than HP! How did we let this happen? We have to fix this! Not just about clubs and fanpop, everywhere, show the world HP is still alive! There are a few things we can do:
- Enter VS clubs (HP vs T, Hermione vs Bella, Harry vs Edward...) more...
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1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are “covered in bees”.
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”.
4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
5. I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will...
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Guaranteed to, er..get you admitted to St. Mungo's?

Thank you Erin and mugglenet.com:)


1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they jinx you. Wait for the effects of the 'jinx' to wear off, smile, and go back for more.

3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but intentionally push the wrong ones.

4. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

5. Drop a quill and wait until someone goes to pick...
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Possibility one: Offer yourself as a babysitter for Hagrid's pets.

Especially recommended to: People who are not afraid of a painful death

Assumed probability of success: Depends on your skill

Possible reason for failure: Hagrid has just locked himself up in his cabin, refusing to listen to your offer, because of the latest attack on his self-esteem.

Side effects: Might break Hagrid's heart if you get into a close relationship with him.

Possibility two: Dig up Voldemort's corpse, take a Polyjuice Potion with a part of him and show yourself in public.

Especially recommended to: good actors and actresses...
continue reading...
added by Blaze1213IsBack
added by Hermione4evr
posted by Slytherinlife
Slytherin the house of apparent "evil." If you think about it the kids in Slytherin that went with Voldemort granted probably went with him because they were sick of being rejected. Nobody wanted to be friends with the Slytherins and automatically assumed them evil not to mention the fact that some were pressured by their parents such as Draco. Nobody considers the fact that his dad abuses him mentally and is often rough with him so nobody knows what happens behind closed doors.In my opinion people are way to quick to judge Slytherins without considering their pasts and the pressure put upon them.Thefore,Slytherins may be more misunderstood than bad.