Dolores Umbridge: the horrible woman who is the most cruel and hated character in the Harry Potter series. Here are 100 reasons as to why I hate Dolores Umbridge.
1) She believes in extremely harsh, severe, and cruel punishments.
2)Too much pink.
3) She's just doesn't make sense. Like, how she tells everyone to raise their hands if they want to speak, but then she ignores them.
4) She's racist. Well, she's technically "half-breed-ist", because she thinks wizards and witches are better than centaurs, werewolves, goblins, elves, etc. I hate that, because without the help of a lot of half breeds, the Hogwartians would have lost the Battle of Hogwarts.
5) She has a bad taste in fashion. She wears way too much frill and lace.
6) Her voice doesn't match her appearance. I mean... she looks like a toad with the voice of a…um… really-high-pitched-singing bird. Very weird.
7) Umbridge tried to get Dumbledore sacked. Well, if you haven't noticed, Dumbledore's still headmaster and Umbridge left Hogwarts with a fear of centaurs. I'd leave Dumbledore alone, if I were you. ;)
8) She can't recognize the truth from the lies. Or she just ignores the truth.
9) Umbridge always acts as though she knows everything, though she doesn't. Example? She didn't know that Lord Voldemort was back. And that's sort of a BIG thing to miss.
10) I hate her name. Dolores Jane Umbridge. I mean, Dolores is an okay name, and Jane sounds cool, too, and Umbridge is a last name so I can't really insult her about that, but all together the name sounds like somone who is just really prissy. Which Umbridge is.
11) She gets a job at a school and then says "I really hate kids.". WHAT THE HECK?!
12) She's abusive. If she lived in the Muggle world, she's get arrested for a child abuse case. Okay, it sounds kind of harsh saying that straight out, but I really, really, really don't like Umbridge.
13) She looks like a toad. And with the bows on her head, the students were "again reminded forcibly of a large fly perched unwisely on top of an even larger toad".
14) She thinks too much of herself. Umbridge would always be saying stuff like "As The Hogwarts High Inquisitor-" or "As Madam Undersecretary to Cornelius Fudge-" and stuff, trying to impress people. It was annoying and arrogant.
15) She was a pureblood lover. She hated Muggle-borns. I wonder how she feels now, now that Hermione helped Harry defeat the greatest Dark wizard of all time. HA! I was so glad to find out that she got sent to Azkaban after the second Wizarding War for her crimes against Muggle-borns.
16) She was like the ultimate bad guy... She was worse than Voldemort in my opinion, because she acted quickly. Like how she sent the dementors on Harry the summer before his fifth year.
17) Umbridge is just plain rude. I think you get what I mean.
18) She's a spoiled brat. Umbridge doesn't care what she does or has to do as long as she gets her way.
19) She doesn't get Hogwarts like everyone else does. Like how she interrupted Dumbledore's start of the year speech. It was the first time anyone had ever done that. She does't get that she can't interrupt Dumbledore, she just CAN'T.
20) She can't even teach right. What teacher just sits down at her desk and just makes the kids read, throughout the whole entire class, every single day, throughout the whole school year?! Not cool.
21) She can't do anything herself. She made the other Ministry workers, or the Inquisitorial Squad do it for her.
22) Umbridge is, like, backwards. She wants to fire Hagrid but keep Filch! Something is wrong with that picture!
23) Umbridge bribes people. She bribed Filch to do things for her by saying that she would give him approval for whipping and an expulsion for Peeves.
24) Another reason I hate Umbridge is because she represents a villain we all have in our own lives. I mean, don't we all feel frustration about someone who is trying to control our lives?
25) I hate that Umbridge never really got called out for all the horrible things she did.
26) She didn't like McGonagall. Well, that's an understatement. They were enemies. And anyone who is McGonagall's enemy is my enemy too.
27) Well, this one's kind of an obvious one: she was simply one of the 'bad guys'. We are SUPPOSED to hate her.
28) She interfered too much- with the Hogwarts rules, with Dumbledore's duties as headmaster, etc.
29) She ran the Muggle-Born Registration Commission. She could've gotten Hermione and other Muggle-borns in Azkaban or taken their wands away. Imagine Hermione without a wand to help with the horcrux hunt. Harry wouldn't have been able to defeat Voldemort.
30) Umbridge was a Slytherin. Nothing against Slytherin (they are my favorite house) but the people in Slytherin are generally considered as villains.
31) "... she drafted a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for him to get a job." Poor Lupin :(
32) Umbridge had tried to stop Dumbledore's Army. Uhn-uh. No one messes with the D. A.
33) She was quite stubborn. All the facts pointed to the fact that Voldemort was back, but she just ignored them.
34) She had Harry write, "I must not tell lies." HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY'RE LIES?
35) She insulted Harry by saying that the only reason he said Voldemort was back was because he wanted attention for himself.
36) She used her position as High Inquisitor as an excuse to harass, intimidate, and fire the teachers.
37) Umbridge was also just plain unfair. She let the Slytherin Quidditch team get back together but not Gryffindor's Quidditch team. That just ain't right.
38) Another example of Umbridge being unfair: she banned Harry from further Hogsmeade trips... For doing a stinking interview! WTF?!
39) Umbridge banned the Quibbler to be read. First of all, that was a stupid move, because, as Hermione said, that would only cause more kids to read it. And second of all, Harry is finally speaking out publicly and she is trying to shut him down. Once again: NOT COOL.
40) Umbridge replaced Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts. No. Just no.
41) Oh my God, this is a big one- that "hem, hem" thing she did? SO FREAKING ANNOYING!
42) Dude, she nearly killed Hagrid with the Stunning Spells she had shot at him.
43) It was cowardly for her to try to attack Hagrid in the middle of the night.
44) Umbridge seriously injured McGonagall when McGonagall tried to help Hagrid fight against Umbridge and some other Ministry officials. McGonagall even had to go to the hospital, for crying out loud.
45) She tried to prevent Harry from contacting the only father figure he had at that time, his godfather, Sirius.
46) She injured Hedwig while intercepting Harry's mail.
47) Umbridge wanted to use the Cruciatus Curse on Harry!!
48) She was just stupid. Like, who would call a centaur, which is an amazingly powerful creature, a "filthy half-breed" unless they wanted to get killed?
49) She took Moody's magical eye! I was like, oh no you didn't!
50) She bribed Mundungus into giving her Slytherin's locket for free.
51) Umbridge said that Slytherin's locket was a family hand-me-down from the Selwyns, thinking that it would bolster her pure-blood status.
Thanks for reading!
1) She believes in extremely harsh, severe, and cruel punishments.
2)Too much pink.
3) She's just doesn't make sense. Like, how she tells everyone to raise their hands if they want to speak, but then she ignores them.
4) She's racist. Well, she's technically "half-breed-ist", because she thinks wizards and witches are better than centaurs, werewolves, goblins, elves, etc. I hate that, because without the help of a lot of half breeds, the Hogwartians would have lost the Battle of Hogwarts.
5) She has a bad taste in fashion. She wears way too much frill and lace.
6) Her voice doesn't match her appearance. I mean... she looks like a toad with the voice of a…um… really-high-pitched-singing bird. Very weird.
7) Umbridge tried to get Dumbledore sacked. Well, if you haven't noticed, Dumbledore's still headmaster and Umbridge left Hogwarts with a fear of centaurs. I'd leave Dumbledore alone, if I were you. ;)
8) She can't recognize the truth from the lies. Or she just ignores the truth.
9) Umbridge always acts as though she knows everything, though she doesn't. Example? She didn't know that Lord Voldemort was back. And that's sort of a BIG thing to miss.
10) I hate her name. Dolores Jane Umbridge. I mean, Dolores is an okay name, and Jane sounds cool, too, and Umbridge is a last name so I can't really insult her about that, but all together the name sounds like somone who is just really prissy. Which Umbridge is.
11) She gets a job at a school and then says "I really hate kids.". WHAT THE HECK?!
12) She's abusive. If she lived in the Muggle world, she's get arrested for a child abuse case. Okay, it sounds kind of harsh saying that straight out, but I really, really, really don't like Umbridge.
13) She looks like a toad. And with the bows on her head, the students were "again reminded forcibly of a large fly perched unwisely on top of an even larger toad".
14) She thinks too much of herself. Umbridge would always be saying stuff like "As The Hogwarts High Inquisitor-" or "As Madam Undersecretary to Cornelius Fudge-" and stuff, trying to impress people. It was annoying and arrogant.
15) She was a pureblood lover. She hated Muggle-borns. I wonder how she feels now, now that Hermione helped Harry defeat the greatest Dark wizard of all time. HA! I was so glad to find out that she got sent to Azkaban after the second Wizarding War for her crimes against Muggle-borns.
16) She was like the ultimate bad guy... She was worse than Voldemort in my opinion, because she acted quickly. Like how she sent the dementors on Harry the summer before his fifth year.
17) Umbridge is just plain rude. I think you get what I mean.
18) She's a spoiled brat. Umbridge doesn't care what she does or has to do as long as she gets her way.
19) She doesn't get Hogwarts like everyone else does. Like how she interrupted Dumbledore's start of the year speech. It was the first time anyone had ever done that. She does't get that she can't interrupt Dumbledore, she just CAN'T.
20) She can't even teach right. What teacher just sits down at her desk and just makes the kids read, throughout the whole entire class, every single day, throughout the whole school year?! Not cool.
21) She can't do anything herself. She made the other Ministry workers, or the Inquisitorial Squad do it for her.
22) Umbridge is, like, backwards. She wants to fire Hagrid but keep Filch! Something is wrong with that picture!
23) Umbridge bribes people. She bribed Filch to do things for her by saying that she would give him approval for whipping and an expulsion for Peeves.
24) Another reason I hate Umbridge is because she represents a villain we all have in our own lives. I mean, don't we all feel frustration about someone who is trying to control our lives?
25) I hate that Umbridge never really got called out for all the horrible things she did.
26) She didn't like McGonagall. Well, that's an understatement. They were enemies. And anyone who is McGonagall's enemy is my enemy too.
27) Well, this one's kind of an obvious one: she was simply one of the 'bad guys'. We are SUPPOSED to hate her.
28) She interfered too much- with the Hogwarts rules, with Dumbledore's duties as headmaster, etc.
29) She ran the Muggle-Born Registration Commission. She could've gotten Hermione and other Muggle-borns in Azkaban or taken their wands away. Imagine Hermione without a wand to help with the horcrux hunt. Harry wouldn't have been able to defeat Voldemort.
30) Umbridge was a Slytherin. Nothing against Slytherin (they are my favorite house) but the people in Slytherin are generally considered as villains.
31) "... she drafted a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for him to get a job." Poor Lupin :(
32) Umbridge had tried to stop Dumbledore's Army. Uhn-uh. No one messes with the D. A.
33) She was quite stubborn. All the facts pointed to the fact that Voldemort was back, but she just ignored them.
34) She had Harry write, "I must not tell lies." HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY'RE LIES?
35) She insulted Harry by saying that the only reason he said Voldemort was back was because he wanted attention for himself.
36) She used her position as High Inquisitor as an excuse to harass, intimidate, and fire the teachers.
37) Umbridge was also just plain unfair. She let the Slytherin Quidditch team get back together but not Gryffindor's Quidditch team. That just ain't right.
38) Another example of Umbridge being unfair: she banned Harry from further Hogsmeade trips... For doing a stinking interview! WTF?!
39) Umbridge banned the Quibbler to be read. First of all, that was a stupid move, because, as Hermione said, that would only cause more kids to read it. And second of all, Harry is finally speaking out publicly and she is trying to shut him down. Once again: NOT COOL.
40) Umbridge replaced Dumbledore as Head of Hogwarts. No. Just no.
41) Oh my God, this is a big one- that "hem, hem" thing she did? SO FREAKING ANNOYING!
42) Dude, she nearly killed Hagrid with the Stunning Spells she had shot at him.
43) It was cowardly for her to try to attack Hagrid in the middle of the night.
44) Umbridge seriously injured McGonagall when McGonagall tried to help Hagrid fight against Umbridge and some other Ministry officials. McGonagall even had to go to the hospital, for crying out loud.
45) She tried to prevent Harry from contacting the only father figure he had at that time, his godfather, Sirius.
46) She injured Hedwig while intercepting Harry's mail.
47) Umbridge wanted to use the Cruciatus Curse on Harry!!
48) She was just stupid. Like, who would call a centaur, which is an amazingly powerful creature, a "filthy half-breed" unless they wanted to get killed?
49) She took Moody's magical eye! I was like, oh no you didn't!
50) She bribed Mundungus into giving her Slytherin's locket for free.
51) Umbridge said that Slytherin's locket was a family hand-me-down from the Selwyns, thinking that it would bolster her pure-blood status.
Thanks for reading!
The following is from The Whimsic Alley Book of Spells. Any irony present is not intended by me.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
by Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as you say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink cartridge (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
You need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the favorite drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will bed yours to command.
A Commanding Spell and Potion
by Dan "Rad" Cliffe
INCANTATION
Impero homo
DESCRIPTION
This is a spell and potion to make people do as you say.
Potion ingredients:
Five grams of salt from the Dead Sea
Ten spoons of honey
One full ink cartridge (any color)
A drink the victim likes
50 ml. of your sweat
SPELL
First make the potion in the following way:
You need to take a glass,
Add salt from the sea of the dead,
Add the 50 ml. of sweat,
And stir with a spoon of lead.
Take the honey in a bowl,
Add it to the ink,
Stir the mixture 'round and 'round,
Then you're ready to add the drink.
Thirdly, add the favorite drink.
The potion wil need to wait a year.
After that the potion is ready,
And tell the victim to drink a beer.
Wave your wand over the ingredients and say, "Impero homo." Now they will bed yours to command.
