It was the time between the fourth and fifth Harry Potter books and right after Bella leaves Jacob for Edward in the Twilight series when IT happened.
James, the evilest of the evil, had no money. He knew his antagonist part required him to have money. He needed money. There was only one thing to do....
He stepped into the swirling nothingness, and seconds later turned up in a gloomy, slimy hallway. "Are you here, Lord Voldemort?"
The dark shape slid out of the shadow. "More money, James?" He said cooly. "We may both be the antagonists of our books, but you do owe me...."
"OWE YOU WHAT!?" James screeched, an invisible hand slapped him on the face.
"How about we strike a deal." Voldemort said icily. "The four main Twilight and Harry Potter characters will have to stay in a locked room together for an entire hour...."
James thought of how upset Bella would be. He knew that soon he'd have to hunt her, he'd read ahead. "Deal." He said, and the two shook hands.
-2-
Harry Potter sat on his bed, thinking about his nightmare. Suddenly, he felt an intense pain, and then nothing-or everything-was swirling around him.
Drip....drip.....drip.....when Harry could finally see clearly, he had his wand and school robes in a room that was the size of the Dursley's living room, but not as welcoming. The walls were made of gray stone, and water was dripping from the ceiling.
What was going on?
Then, he saw the man leaning casually in the corner and gasped. It was Edward Cullen.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"What are YOU doing here?" Harry replied, flourishing his wand.
Edward seemed to have read the Harry Potter books, because he knew the wand could rip him to pieces. He'd have to steal it, when he got the chance.
"Want to hear what's kind of funny?" Edward smirked. Harry didn't answer.
"Twilight is so much better than Harry Potter, yet-"
"DIFFINDO!" Edward dodged the blast narrowly, but it didn't affect the stone wall.
"Harry, no need to do that...." Edward hunted for an escape hatch. Would he be stuck with Harry for a long time? Forever? He suddenly realized he was kind of hungry. And Harry Potter fans insulted Twilight fans...he ought to get back at them.
-3-
"Edward.....Edward!" Bella cried worriedly. She loved Edward. Now they were separated by thick barriers of solid rock. What if he was hurt?
"You're....Bella?" A voice asked. Bella saw the girl behind her.
"Yeah."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Hermione." Her smile was so false!
"Do you know where we are?" Hermione asked.
"Um.....yes." Bella replied. She could just pretend, of course. Hermione would then admit Twilight was better.
"Do you know the way out?"
Bella smiled. "Maybe."
"Can you tell me?"
Bella just smiled.
"Come ON."
Her smile widened.
"Bella-"
Hermione began. What was wrong with her?
Bella looked over at Hermione. She thought she was so smart. What was wrong with her?
-4-
Ron thought he was alone, until he saw the wolf in the corner. He pulled out his wand, but the next second the wolf was gone and Jacob was there.
"Hello." Jacob said politely. "I'm Jacob."
"Err...I'm Ron, Ron Wealey." He shook his hand. Then, he remebered reading the Twilight books. Didn't Jacob get dumped by Bella and then fall in love with her baby?
Ron tried to push the disturbing thought out of his mind. "So you're an animagus."
"More like a werewolf."
"Animagus."
"Werewolf."
"Animagus."
"Shapeshifter."
"A shapeshifter can turn into any form, an animagus just one....."
"Animagus, you happy?" He transformed into a wolf and bared his teeth. He did not like Ron.
-5-
"Well this is kind of odd...." Alice said to herself. Suddenly, a figure popped out of the shadows.
"Queer things happen all the time don't they?" Luna Lovegood replied dreamily, then began to hopscotch across the wet brick floor.
"What are you doing?"
"Well, Lasecs always live on wet brick floors. Dad tells me to avoid them, or else we'll end up sparkling." Luna paused, standing on one foot. "Kind of odd, now isn't it? What sparkles?"
Alice glared at Luna. What was up with her?
-6-
"Twilight IS better than Harry Potter."
"The love is obsession."
"I think it's true love."
"I don't. I also think Bella is a pygmy puff."
"SHE IS NOT!" Edward sped toward Harry and he dived out of the way just in time, landing painfully on the stone floor. His glasses fell off and he quickly grabbed them, putting them back on his face, and saw his wand lying three feet away. He reached for it, but Edward got to it first.
Edward pocketed the wand. Maybe he could learn to use it. But he was hungry. He was going to be here forever.....
Harry leapt nimbly out of the way and Edward's strong jaws clamped on brick. He didn't want to kill, but Harry had crossed a line when he insulted Bella. No one calls her a pygmy puff! (Whatever that was......)
-7-
"EDWARD! EDWARD! ARE YOU OKAY?!" Bella screeched as Hermione attempted to drain out her yells by means of a muffilatio charm on herself. But it was not working. She was too darn loud.
"WILL YOU CAN IT?!" Hermione screeched finally.
"OH JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT EDWARD MEANS I DON'T CARE! YEA!" Bella tried to kick Hermione, but Hermione waved her wand and said an incantation, and her leg bounced back. Bella madly whacked the wand out of Hermione's hand, but Hermione caught it, and stepped back into the corner as Bella screeched curses and threw stones. She must REALLY love Edward, Hermione thought.
-8-
The wolf sprang towards Ron. He panicked and leapt out of the way.
"What did I do?" Ron asked.
"QUESTIONED MY JUDGEMENT!" Jacob turned into a person.
"Do you always have these quirks of character?"
"I have to do what's convienient for the author......"
Ron kicked him in the shin, and then put a shield charm around himself. He was safe from that snarling wolf for the moment.
-9-
"Your head is full of wrackspurts, you know." Luna told Alice.
"Um....."
"They make your brain go all fuzzy."
"Oh, yeah, wackburts."
"Wrackspurts, actually."
Suddenly, they heard a cold clear voice say:
"I am giving the opportunity for someone to leave early and try to save the others." Voldemort said.
"LET ME LEAVE!" Alice screeched as Luna began to talk about threstals.
"NO ME!" Hermione cried.
"I NEED EDWARD! LET ME GO!" Bella called.
"I CAN'T STAND BEING CALLED AN ANIMAGUS! LET ME LEAVE!" Jacob screeched, forgetting Ron, who he'd just cornered. Ron grabbed his wand and slipped away.
"HEY! I'M IN MORTAL DANGER HERE!" Ron screeched.
Meanwhile, Edward knocked Harry to the ground. Harry felt his arm bones crack like in his second year. Then, as Harry tried to escape and Edward got ready to kill, they heard Voldemort.
"I SHOULD GET TO LEAVE!" Edward cried. "I-I-I HAVE NO REASONS!"
"LET ME LEAVE!" Harry shouted.
-10-
"I like it here, actually." Luna said. A second later, she had disappeared,because the only way you could escape is if you truly didn't want to escape. As Luna reappeared in the hallway, Alice breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she'd study Crumple-Horned Snorkacks later.
Luna opened each stone door one by one. In the first door, Alice stood there. She calmly walked out.
In the second room was Ron an Jacob, in wolf form. Jacob kept bounding toward Ron, but Ron would shield himself just in time. Alice wrestled Jacob away and they all escaped.
Meanwhile, Edward was glancing at Harry, who was definitely in pain, on the floor. He really didn't want to kill, but this would PROVE Twilight was better....right? NO. He thought. That would probe he was a monster. NO. It would prove that Edward could beat Harry in a fight, unlike those hundred-odd articles on fanpop saying otherwise.....
Luna opened the third door and Bella was screeching her lungs out. Hermione was casting a shield charm over herself.
"AND TWILIGHT IS BETTER SO-"
"BELLA CALM DOWN!"
"EDWARD IS THE BEST-"
"BELLA!"
"AND YOU GUYS JUST-"
Hermione screeched an odd incantation, and all of a sudden Bella was unconscious on the floor. "FINALLY." She said flatly, muttering the countercurse. When Bella awoke, she mumbled dreamily for Edward and stared blankly at Luna, but did nothing more.
Edward convinced himself that this was not being a monster, he was protecting his book. Yeah. That was all. He reached down and tried to grab his neck, but Harry kicked him hard in the shin and his wand came flying out of his pocket, flying just inches from Harry's hand. Edward was stunned momentarily, but when he saw Harry trying to grab his wand, he tried to spring into action. Harry kicked him forcefully in the shin again, and Edward lost balance and fell. Harry reached for his wand as Edward got up....
Luna skipped to the final door, not knowing whether or not she would find a scene of terror inside. Once the hidden stone door had opened, she saw this:
Harry had a weak shield charm cast between him and Edward, but it was wavering. Soon, it would die out. All three of them readied their wands, but Jacob and Bella whacked it out of their hands. Alice then bolted forward and grabbed Edward by the shoulders.
"ALICE, ARE YOU ON THEIR SIDE?"
"EDWARD, YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A MONSTER!"
"BUT-HE INSULTED BELLA! HE INSULTED OUR BOOKS!"
Alice kicked him in the shin again. "YOU-ARE-NOT-SUPPOSED-TO-EAT-PEOPLE! IT'S A RULE!!!"
Edward heaved a sigh. "Yeah, yeah, don't kill, don't hurt, whatever. I'm a 'bad boy.' That's why Bella likes me. Right Bella?"
Bella nodded dreamily.
Alice stared at Edward severely as Hermione performed a healing charm on Harry's arm, and Ron helped him up.
Alice helped Edward to his feet. "No more, okay?"
Edward rolled his eyes. "I promise." He crossed his fingers behind his back as the Harry Potter people apparated.
"Who was behind this anyway?" Jacob asked.
James, waiting in the hallway, whistled innocently and walked away.
Voldemort, Voldemort, OOh, Voldy Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort!
THE END
James, the evilest of the evil, had no money. He knew his antagonist part required him to have money. He needed money. There was only one thing to do....
He stepped into the swirling nothingness, and seconds later turned up in a gloomy, slimy hallway. "Are you here, Lord Voldemort?"
The dark shape slid out of the shadow. "More money, James?" He said cooly. "We may both be the antagonists of our books, but you do owe me...."
"OWE YOU WHAT!?" James screeched, an invisible hand slapped him on the face.
"How about we strike a deal." Voldemort said icily. "The four main Twilight and Harry Potter characters will have to stay in a locked room together for an entire hour...."
James thought of how upset Bella would be. He knew that soon he'd have to hunt her, he'd read ahead. "Deal." He said, and the two shook hands.
-2-
Harry Potter sat on his bed, thinking about his nightmare. Suddenly, he felt an intense pain, and then nothing-or everything-was swirling around him.
Drip....drip.....drip.....when Harry could finally see clearly, he had his wand and school robes in a room that was the size of the Dursley's living room, but not as welcoming. The walls were made of gray stone, and water was dripping from the ceiling.
What was going on?
Then, he saw the man leaning casually in the corner and gasped. It was Edward Cullen.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"What are YOU doing here?" Harry replied, flourishing his wand.
Edward seemed to have read the Harry Potter books, because he knew the wand could rip him to pieces. He'd have to steal it, when he got the chance.
"Want to hear what's kind of funny?" Edward smirked. Harry didn't answer.
"Twilight is so much better than Harry Potter, yet-"
"DIFFINDO!" Edward dodged the blast narrowly, but it didn't affect the stone wall.
"Harry, no need to do that...." Edward hunted for an escape hatch. Would he be stuck with Harry for a long time? Forever? He suddenly realized he was kind of hungry. And Harry Potter fans insulted Twilight fans...he ought to get back at them.
-3-
"Edward.....Edward!" Bella cried worriedly. She loved Edward. Now they were separated by thick barriers of solid rock. What if he was hurt?
"You're....Bella?" A voice asked. Bella saw the girl behind her.
"Yeah."
"Nice to meet you. I'm Hermione." Her smile was so false!
"Do you know where we are?" Hermione asked.
"Um.....yes." Bella replied. She could just pretend, of course. Hermione would then admit Twilight was better.
"Do you know the way out?"
Bella smiled. "Maybe."
"Can you tell me?"
Bella just smiled.
"Come ON."
Her smile widened.
"Bella-"
Hermione began. What was wrong with her?
Bella looked over at Hermione. She thought she was so smart. What was wrong with her?
-4-
Ron thought he was alone, until he saw the wolf in the corner. He pulled out his wand, but the next second the wolf was gone and Jacob was there.
"Hello." Jacob said politely. "I'm Jacob."
"Err...I'm Ron, Ron Wealey." He shook his hand. Then, he remebered reading the Twilight books. Didn't Jacob get dumped by Bella and then fall in love with her baby?
Ron tried to push the disturbing thought out of his mind. "So you're an animagus."
"More like a werewolf."
"Animagus."
"Werewolf."
"Animagus."
"Shapeshifter."
"A shapeshifter can turn into any form, an animagus just one....."
"Animagus, you happy?" He transformed into a wolf and bared his teeth. He did not like Ron.
-5-
"Well this is kind of odd...." Alice said to herself. Suddenly, a figure popped out of the shadows.
"Queer things happen all the time don't they?" Luna Lovegood replied dreamily, then began to hopscotch across the wet brick floor.
"What are you doing?"
"Well, Lasecs always live on wet brick floors. Dad tells me to avoid them, or else we'll end up sparkling." Luna paused, standing on one foot. "Kind of odd, now isn't it? What sparkles?"
Alice glared at Luna. What was up with her?
-6-
"Twilight IS better than Harry Potter."
"The love is obsession."
"I think it's true love."
"I don't. I also think Bella is a pygmy puff."
"SHE IS NOT!" Edward sped toward Harry and he dived out of the way just in time, landing painfully on the stone floor. His glasses fell off and he quickly grabbed them, putting them back on his face, and saw his wand lying three feet away. He reached for it, but Edward got to it first.
Edward pocketed the wand. Maybe he could learn to use it. But he was hungry. He was going to be here forever.....
Harry leapt nimbly out of the way and Edward's strong jaws clamped on brick. He didn't want to kill, but Harry had crossed a line when he insulted Bella. No one calls her a pygmy puff! (Whatever that was......)
-7-
"EDWARD! EDWARD! ARE YOU OKAY?!" Bella screeched as Hermione attempted to drain out her yells by means of a muffilatio charm on herself. But it was not working. She was too darn loud.
"WILL YOU CAN IT?!" Hermione screeched finally.
"OH JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT EDWARD MEANS I DON'T CARE! YEA!" Bella tried to kick Hermione, but Hermione waved her wand and said an incantation, and her leg bounced back. Bella madly whacked the wand out of Hermione's hand, but Hermione caught it, and stepped back into the corner as Bella screeched curses and threw stones. She must REALLY love Edward, Hermione thought.
-8-
The wolf sprang towards Ron. He panicked and leapt out of the way.
"What did I do?" Ron asked.
"QUESTIONED MY JUDGEMENT!" Jacob turned into a person.
"Do you always have these quirks of character?"
"I have to do what's convienient for the author......"
Ron kicked him in the shin, and then put a shield charm around himself. He was safe from that snarling wolf for the moment.
-9-
"Your head is full of wrackspurts, you know." Luna told Alice.
"Um....."
"They make your brain go all fuzzy."
"Oh, yeah, wackburts."
"Wrackspurts, actually."
Suddenly, they heard a cold clear voice say:
"I am giving the opportunity for someone to leave early and try to save the others." Voldemort said.
"LET ME LEAVE!" Alice screeched as Luna began to talk about threstals.
"NO ME!" Hermione cried.
"I NEED EDWARD! LET ME GO!" Bella called.
"I CAN'T STAND BEING CALLED AN ANIMAGUS! LET ME LEAVE!" Jacob screeched, forgetting Ron, who he'd just cornered. Ron grabbed his wand and slipped away.
"HEY! I'M IN MORTAL DANGER HERE!" Ron screeched.
Meanwhile, Edward knocked Harry to the ground. Harry felt his arm bones crack like in his second year. Then, as Harry tried to escape and Edward got ready to kill, they heard Voldemort.
"I SHOULD GET TO LEAVE!" Edward cried. "I-I-I HAVE NO REASONS!"
"LET ME LEAVE!" Harry shouted.
-10-
"I like it here, actually." Luna said. A second later, she had disappeared,because the only way you could escape is if you truly didn't want to escape. As Luna reappeared in the hallway, Alice breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe she'd study Crumple-Horned Snorkacks later.
Luna opened each stone door one by one. In the first door, Alice stood there. She calmly walked out.
In the second room was Ron an Jacob, in wolf form. Jacob kept bounding toward Ron, but Ron would shield himself just in time. Alice wrestled Jacob away and they all escaped.
Meanwhile, Edward was glancing at Harry, who was definitely in pain, on the floor. He really didn't want to kill, but this would PROVE Twilight was better....right? NO. He thought. That would probe he was a monster. NO. It would prove that Edward could beat Harry in a fight, unlike those hundred-odd articles on fanpop saying otherwise.....
Luna opened the third door and Bella was screeching her lungs out. Hermione was casting a shield charm over herself.
"AND TWILIGHT IS BETTER SO-"
"BELLA CALM DOWN!"
"EDWARD IS THE BEST-"
"BELLA!"
"AND YOU GUYS JUST-"
Hermione screeched an odd incantation, and all of a sudden Bella was unconscious on the floor. "FINALLY." She said flatly, muttering the countercurse. When Bella awoke, she mumbled dreamily for Edward and stared blankly at Luna, but did nothing more.
Edward convinced himself that this was not being a monster, he was protecting his book. Yeah. That was all. He reached down and tried to grab his neck, but Harry kicked him hard in the shin and his wand came flying out of his pocket, flying just inches from Harry's hand. Edward was stunned momentarily, but when he saw Harry trying to grab his wand, he tried to spring into action. Harry kicked him forcefully in the shin again, and Edward lost balance and fell. Harry reached for his wand as Edward got up....
Luna skipped to the final door, not knowing whether or not she would find a scene of terror inside. Once the hidden stone door had opened, she saw this:
Harry had a weak shield charm cast between him and Edward, but it was wavering. Soon, it would die out. All three of them readied their wands, but Jacob and Bella whacked it out of their hands. Alice then bolted forward and grabbed Edward by the shoulders.
"ALICE, ARE YOU ON THEIR SIDE?"
"EDWARD, YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A MONSTER!"
"BUT-HE INSULTED BELLA! HE INSULTED OUR BOOKS!"
Alice kicked him in the shin again. "YOU-ARE-NOT-SUPPOSED-TO-EAT-PEOPLE! IT'S A RULE!!!"
Edward heaved a sigh. "Yeah, yeah, don't kill, don't hurt, whatever. I'm a 'bad boy.' That's why Bella likes me. Right Bella?"
Bella nodded dreamily.
Alice stared at Edward severely as Hermione performed a healing charm on Harry's arm, and Ron helped him up.
Alice helped Edward to his feet. "No more, okay?"
Edward rolled his eyes. "I promise." He crossed his fingers behind his back as the Harry Potter people apparated.
"Who was behind this anyway?" Jacob asked.
James, waiting in the hallway, whistled innocently and walked away.
Voldemort, Voldemort, OOh, Voldy Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort!
THE END
