Harry Potter Vs. Twilight Article: Hilarious Twilight Defenses.

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posted by LilRavenclaw95

These are the weirdest, saddest Twilight defenses on the planet. *NOTE: I have nothing against reasonable Twilight fans, but ones like this? *facepalm*

Tiwlite deost scuk jew bichezz!!!!!1!!” twilite iz da beste buck i hav evar red in mi lief!!!! so wat if inot have red so maney bks in my lief!! i actualey hav ay lieff and bukks hapen to b four peeple wizout eny frends!!!!!!!1111 sou dant juzt PRUVVEZ hou gud twilit iz!!!!!!!!! adn anuzer ding i am sexteen not twelve adn i reeli LUVE TWAILITE wish usst PRUVVEZ it iz four mature, enteliggent peepolnot like hary poter dat is juzt four lusers and dwibs. hoo are liek NIEN!!!!!1111 nda ife jew haite tiwelit so muck wy donit jew just get a lief!!!! HATREZZ MEK HRE (STAFFENIE MAYERS) FAMUS YU BIETCHES!!! JEW JUEST WITSH TI WUZZ JEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WATT AER U GONNA DOO WEN TWHYLITE IZ RECUIERED REDDING INSTTEADDE UF BURING, STUOPID STUFF LIKE WUETREING HIGHTES??? AI MEEN TAHT RITTER IS STEUPIDE, EVEREBDDY KNUWS MPEOOPPLE WERE BIUUTIFULL AND CARMING LIKE EDWARD BAK INDE OLD DASY, NUT LIKE HITHCLIFF!!!!! VEREY HISTORICLY UNACURATE!!! SO JEW MORONSLL IUSR HAFF TWO STUF, WOZTN U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS BAD ENUFF TAT U HAV THE BALLS TO HAT TWILIGHT BUT NOW YOU GO AND LEAVE NOTES AT TERRENT COWNTY COLEG TELLIN PEPLES TO JOIN UR FORUM!! I WEN DER LONG ENUFF TO PIK UP MY BRO AND I WENT TO SIT ON THE BECNH AND SAW IT!!!

WAT GIVS U THE RITE TO HAT SUCH A GENUS PIECE OF WORK UR ETHER LESBAN IF UR A GIRL OR JUST JELOS OF EDDYWART IF UR A DUD

IF I EVE SE ONE OF U MEANIES IRL U WIL PAY AND TIS CITE IS GONA GET MY RATH!!?!?!???!? HMPHMPH!!!

PRECUS STEPHANEE MAYOR AND HER BOOKS GETTIN HATED MAKES ME WANA CRY ((The response to this one made me LOL: Cool story, bro.))

yu shoud cloze tis site and never com bak!! stephany miyers myht bee sad and stoop her storys!!!!!!

wot r u on? u dnt lik twlght? u r al werdos. edwrd is teh sex. he luvs bela moar tan any humn eva can or wold.
jcob is not a pedo! he wnts to lok aftr rensme and kep her saf. u sud dy in a hol al of u. twlght is teh bst bok eva!!! and teh movey is evn beter.

edwrd is my god!!! ((She calls us weirdos...))

Y DEH prancing HELL DO U ALL HATEZ TWILIGHT IT IS DEH carp U R ALL LEZZIES OR UPSET U DUNT HAV EDWOOD
STEPHANNIEMAYOR IS DEH BES DAMMED PERSON IN LITRATRUE AND YOU WILL DO WELL TO RESPECT DAT

I WILL ET DIS MORONS INTERSITE SHUT OFF IF IT KILLZ MEH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Because it is successful. It is popular. People enjoy it. If entertainment isn't a measure of how good a book is...then what is?

I mean, what's the point of going out of your natural writing style to create some super-original masterpiece, as you guys seem to suggest is the best kind of story, when the public...well, when the public want the cliches!

Okay, you can say that Twilight isnt any good because it's written badly, and contains all these..."hiden messages" and such. The very name of the site argues this point, though in a rather childish way (intentional, I suppose- the creator must have either chosen 'sucks' as a way of bringing the website down to Twilight's level, or to show the website is not serious...if the second, the brutish anger that flows through the forum contradicts the intention). But c'mon. C'mon c'mon c'mon. So it don't fill all the criteia of a pefect series. My point is not that it is perfect, merely that it is good, if not great.

I say 'great' not because I personally enjoy the story - I do not, and was a hater before I realised upon consideration that there was nothing for me to 'hate' as such - but because Twilight fulfils the primary objective of a romance novel...it entertains.
((I'm never entertained if a book sucks ass))

That's really it! Thought they were funny. ONCE MORE! I have NOTHING against Twilight fans that are sane, but ones like these drive me up the wall.

Add on:
HAOZ! PEEPS STOP BASHING DEZ TWILIGHTZ. SO MUCHZ BATTERE DEN HAIRY POOPET! HAT IT@!

jennipop22, ana27734 and 17 others like this

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ChocAttack266 I just reread it carefully, and only now did I realize that I'd been reading the first one with a German accent in my head, because of words like "nien" (which is spelt incorrectly anyway) and "jew". Then I realized that she is not a Nazi...that's how she actually spells. *is on the verge of slitting wrists*

LoveforSeverus Nein, jew. Perhaps she is Nazi? Oh right, Hitler only liked SMART PEOPLE. F*ck her. Even Hitler would kill her. That was an awful defense. He killed millions.

Pensieve_Seeker "WAT GIVS U THE RITE TO HAT SUCH A GENUS PIECE OF WORK UR ETHER LESBAN IF UR A GIRL OR JUST JELOS OF EDDYWART IF UR A DUD" Nice spelling, Genius.

HecateA Yo know what the worst thing is? They call Edward their god, Stephenie Meyer their queene but they spell their names wrong. Serious, I don't like it but still have enough respect for the book to write the names right! *facepalm*

HecateA Which one ruined your childhood PrincessVandal?

IsabellaMCullen Wow! I can hardly read most of them. These are the Twilight fans that are ruining Twilight for me, and I'm sure some others as well. I'm starting to feel embarrased to say I'm a Twilight fan anymore -.-

luv_warriorcatz do twilight fans hav to follow a rule to spell completely incorrectly? or is this some type of twilight fan code 2 make sure that we cant understand it?

luv_warriorcatz here r the words that r spelled right in the incorrectly spelled section: in so if i (we all spell it like that so i'll let that go) have and to four am not twelve mature(although i think they meant immature) wish not (although it was used in peepplnot) is are a just get gonna like stuff were edward old its bad balls the but now you go leave notes at forum join long up my went sit on saw such piece work or just pay her books makes cry hated site never sad storys sex he can any god prancing twilight all upset person will do well respect morons shut off

PotterForever I'm loosing faith in humanity because of people like this.

RavenclawPride I had to translate the first one for my friend before. Here's mine. Twilight doesn't suck you b*tches! Twilight is the best book I have ever read in my life! So what if I've not read (so) many books in my life? I actually have a life and books happen to be for people without any friends! So that just PROVES how good Twilight is! And another thing I am sixteen not twelve and I really LOVE TWILIGHT which just proves it is for mature, intelligent people not like Harry Potter (Oh they just had to bring HP in there) that is just for losers and dweebs ( OH NO SHE DI'INT!) Who are like NINE! And if you hate Twilight so much, why don't you just get a life? HATERS MAKE HER ( STEPHENIE MEYER ) (she spelt it wrong. Sad.) FAMOUS YOU B*TCHES! YOU JUST WISH IT WAS YOU! AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN TWILIGHT IS REQUIRED READING (never, ever, gonna be.) INSTEAD OF BORING, STUPID STUFF LIKE WUTHERING HEIGHTS? I MEAN THAT WRITER IS STUPID, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT PEOPLE WERE BEAUTIFUL AND CHARMING LIKE EDWARD BACK IN THE OLD DAYS, NOT LIKE HEATHCLIFF! VERY HISTORICALLY INACCURATE! Oh, and on an unrelated note, I just found out it's illegal to pretend to do magic in Canada. I've been doing that for a while now, so why stop? Now I'm just afraid that I'll get in trouble if I shout Expecto Patronum down the street...

ReibyKathBlack i don't understand any of it !!

SnapeOWNSedward My eyes! My eyes! They're burning!

Kersian God...I wanna slap the ones who wrote these abominations to literature. Maybe I'll cure them of it even.

lovemarauders Um...I speak English, not Pig Latin, sorry. 'Scuse me, but I have to go read something intelligent now...This person deserves to be pushed into a ditch repeatedly until she learns how to spell.

Darkshine I am losing faith in the human race..... .-.

alexthedog This is great!

youknowit101 these were obviously said by trolls trying to make themselves sound like idiots. nobody is going to put !!!!!!111!!!!1 by accident. you honestly think Twilight fans forget to hold the shift key down?

youknowit101 Check out the Twilight spot. nobody types like that

wotcher-tonks I think I lost a few brain cells.

ChocoLuvr101 My gosh... they butchered the english language.

DramaQueen1020 Wow, was the first girl high on something at the time? I think it might be racist too, 'cause it says 'jew' a lot, but it's so hard to decipher who knows? Very insane. I'll try to find some more!

FlameRose 16.......?

alexisn10 If you survive, you win! 1. i can't stanfd Harry Potter. he spends 8 movie trying to fight some bald guy with no nose. in twilight they get married, and produce a great sex scene. and it took what 5 films. Twilliight teaches that everything has good and bad and we all must learn to accept that. every single guy in Twilight was gorgeous. in Harry potter only and Daniel and that blonde men guy was cute. 2 1. It's a lovestory. 2. It's deep. 3. The quote If you could live forever, what would you live for? 4. It has shapeshifters. 5. Edward left her in New Moon to save her. 6. The bookcovers - but also the inside. 7. They've been through alot, but they stay together. 8. Kristen Stewart - she is f**king awesome. 9. Edward loves her more than anything else. 10. TWILIGHT! The hole story is so well written and incredible. I don't have anything against HP, i actually love the 4th one. I bet you know why 3. dumbledore has a beard and beards r creepy... 4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyUUDkMgphg&feature=related 5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGRiviVceu4&feature=fvwrel (this ones bad :/) 6. TWILIGHT ROCKS U SUCK!!!! TWILIGHT IS AMAZING. tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN. tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN. tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.tWILIGHT IS BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN.V 7. Twilight is AMAZING!!! Harry Potter has nothing on dreamy Edward!!! Harry needs to get rid of those dorky glasses and get contacts! 8. me and my friend are upsesed with vanpires so we love twilight 9. Look, I've been a Twihard for a wile, and resently I decided to try Harry Potter. It's just dumm. When Stephanie Meyer wrote Twilght, she had a messige in mind–that we should find love, even if it's hard too get to. She tells us wondurfel things like how to make important choices and how hard being young can be. All Harry Potter is is a bunch of stupi guys with wands running around trying to defeat Snape. I mean, is there any writing style? Nope. Any character development? Nope. Twilight got 5 movies, and the last one is split into 2 becuz people actually want it. Harry potter got like 3 movies. Idk, i don't even care. I'm just saying, there's no point to Harry Potter and it's dumb, just like everything in england that gets put in a book. Oh and btw Ron Weasley is the most unattractive person ive ever read of. Jacob and Edward are both sophisticaed, developed characters and Ron, what, plays chess or something? No, twilght wins. Even Hermione is justa stupid nerd with NO EMOTION. She just bitches everyone out. Someone give me a reason whi Harry Potter is even good at all and worst of all 10. Just made out with my syberian husky it reminded me of Jacob Black <3 I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

MrsJasperHale19 I weep for humanity. Were they typing by hitting the keyboard with their head or somthing?

cunha27 Nothing here that I haven't seen from HP fans also. They/we are as bad as each other. Including the obvious trolls.