Thanks to Princesslullaby's recent poll questions, I ended up looking at my own childhood vs. each Disney Princess's childhood. Some of this is just painful for me, and there is no getting around that.
My categories of adverse childhood situations (some with severe adverse conditions) are based on evaluation from the domestic violence class I took. I'll be frank. I have my own dissociation/childhood trauma.
This is an article where I'm defining where I'd group categories of adverse childhood experiences, specifically for the Disney Princesses. I'll also add in how each princess copes with their where-I-was-born dilemma.
Ariel and Rapunzel are right close together, because they just share the border between authoritarian parenting and authoritative parenting. Those parenting styles are similar, but are not the same.
Severe and Pervasive Childhood Oppression-- the Authoritarian Parenting Style
Cinderella, Snow White, and Ariel receive this slot.
Cinderella
Cinderella becomes a slave in her own home. With her parents both dead, her stepmother treats her like dirt. Cinderella has the most "hope in her heart" next to Snow White. Cinderella copes by daydreaming and dreaming of a life free of her tormentors.
Snow White
Snow White is first shown in rags, and is mopping the stairs of the castle. I don't know how she ended up as a slave, but with both parents dead, and another evil stepmother in place... Snow is basically impoverished, with one good dress, and one that is rags. Stepmother tries multiple times to kill this girl. Snow copes by singing songs, by praying, and by doing her own pastimes: cleaning and baking.
Ariel
Ariel is first shown exploring a shipwreck, and saving her best friend Flounder from a shark. The very next scene we get featuring Ariel is one in which she gets scolded by the court conductor, Sebastian, and reprimanded by her father for forgetting to show up at a concert. It seems like both the court conductor and Ariel's dad each are insulted and embarrassed by Ariel's behavior, and so the two of them "decide between them" that Ariel requires CONSTANT SUPERVISION. This "constant supervision thing" is Sebastian's idea, first, but King Triton wholeheartedly agrees with it, and this set-up soon predominates Ariel's whole existence under the sea. Sebastian is tracking Ariel's every move. It's Sebastian who sells out Ariel by divulging that she saved a human and is keeping a grotto of human detritus. Ariel copes by singing to herself, collecting what debris she can find, and generally trying to remain upbeat in a restrictive atmosphere. However, for her pains, Ariel is yelled at for her forgetfulness and curiosity; her father uses his trident and violently destroys her collection to "get through to her" that all humans are awful, and that he protects her by dominating her life. I find "constant supervision" stultifying to a person. This should be applied only to someone who is around 5 years old or less. Ariel is not 5 years old in the original 1989 film.
Constant supervision is not something a sixteen year old wants, and most psychologists will tell you, that parents who "set-up" this authoritarian parenting style are actually implementing abuse.
Less Severe, but Extremely Problematic Parenting Styles-- halfway between Authoritarian and Authoritative
Rapunzel
Rapunzel is kidnapped soon after birth because her parents used/stole an enchanted flower that belonged to a witch named Gothel to prevent Rapunzel's mother from dying in childbirth. Gothel decides that in retribution for what was "stolen" from her, she will do the stealing, too. So Gothel sneaks in and steals their child away... which is similar to the original Rapoince tale where Rapoince's father steals this type of lettuce from the witch's garden to prevent his wife from dying, and in trade, the witch steals the daughter from the parents. So, Rapunzel's folks are partly to blame for what happened to Rapunzel even in the Disney version. Afterward, Punzie grows up isolated in a tower, provided with every material thing she could want from Gothel, save seeing another face that isn't Gothel's. Punzie sings, paints, plays chess, sews, cooks, makes candles, reads, and tracks the stars. Punzie dresses up her chameleon, Pascal, to get a practical joke or two. These are Punzie's coping mechanisms, along with seeing "the lights" every year on the same day. Punzie is most curious about the lights, and THIS is the part where she feels DISSATISFIED. Otherwise, Punzie doesn't see her life as horrible, and this is rooted in her own ignorance resulting from Gothel's situational manipulation, and this is also partially because Gothel hasn't been a helicopter parent on Punzie, nor reduced Rapunzel to direct servitude. It's Pascal who attempts to leave the tower first, and Punzie scoops him up before he can get too far out the window. Rapunzel feels BORED and wonders "when will my life begin?" But is she tormented? I have seen children who were tormented individuals (as I am a nurse), and I can tell you that no, Rapunzel is not acting like a tormented adolescent. Finally, deviating from the warped fairy-tale, Disney introduces Flynn/Eugene who stumbles on Punzie's tower while running from a heist-gone-bad. And it is Rapunzel who ties Flynn up and DEMANDS that he take her to see the lights if he wants the "crown object" back. Gothel is abusive in creating an environment that preys on Rapunzel's gullibility and ignorance. But compared to someone who is under constant supervision for every choice ( which is what is going on with Ariel)--- this is not so with Rapunzel. Gothel visits Rapunzel once a week, if that. And Rapunzel doesn't get told that her priorities are wrong. Gothel has "one rule" for Rapunzel, while Triton's law on humans was more like 5 rules disguised to deter dissent. I see Rapunzel as a victim of both her parents stupid choice to steal a plant, and as Gothel's equally stupid retaliation move to prevent age deterioration. But when I think about Rapunzel's actual day-to-day existence, Rapunzel's day-to-day life is more like Merida's and Jasmine's: little on the excitement part, and big on the tedium. Gothel never gives Rapunzel constant supervision. Rapunzel hides Flynn before/and while Gothel is there. Rapunzel herself is good at withholding things she doesn't want her pseudo-stepmom to know. Even the Rapunzel in the original tale hid the ladder she was making to escape the tower. The Rapunzel in Disney's tale and in the original has agency, and she makes her own choices. She is not being supervised and bullied 24/7.
Merida
Merida's mother is strict. Merida doesn't get "a day all of her own" until the end of the week, as it were. Most of the time Elinor is trying to groom Merida to become the next Queen of Dunbroch. Merida doesn't like this, and balks at every opportunity. Merida copes with her mother's restrictive schedule on her life, by using the bleep out of her "one day a week personal time" to do everything from archery to climbing the firefalls. Elinor is strict, but she isn't sneakily abusive like Gothel, nor is she constantly supervising Merida's whereabouts like Triton does to Ariel through Sebastian. I don't like Elinor initially, because she's so prim and stuck-up, but she does less harm to Merida than Gothel and King Triton do to Punzie and Ariel.
Jasmine
She's confined to the palace. She is restricted by location and by the fact that she has to marry a prince. Jasmine's options in suitors irritate her, and she chafes at being "a prize to be won." But Jas has a better life than Rapunzel and Merida, because the sultan, her father, is never purposely sneaky nor purposely restrictive. He also does not send someone to watch Jasmine 24/7, and leaves her largely to herself. Jasmine copes... by having Rajah nip and bite playfully at her suitors. That's the bonus for having a tiger for a pet.
Mulan
Chinese culture was restrictive and obligated women to become wives. Mulan isn't confined to the house like Rapunzel is, doesn't seem to have a rigid schedule like Merida, and doesn't have a designated row of suitors pushed up in her face like Jasmine. However, Mulan doesn't have the freedom to be herself and to make her own choices, which is societal and which her parents are reinforcing. The good thing is that Mulan isn't being watched 24/7 either, which is why she could get away with cheating and painting verses on her arm as a method to try to pass the matchmaker's exam. Mulan mopes and sings when coping with her situation. I don't see her doing a lot else in the movie with coping, at least not until she decides to try to prove herself.
The Best Childhoods Among The Disney Princesses-- halfway between Authoritative and Permissive
Aurora
The movie seems to show that Aurora hardly received a stern word from Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather. Aurora views these women as "my three nosy aunts," but doesn't seem to feel that they are undeniably restrictive, and who watch her every movement. In fact, the three fairies send Aurora out all by herself on her sixteenth birthday to collect berries. That doesn't sound like King Triton's constant supervision of Ariel, nor Rapunzel's "one limitation rule," nor Merida's strict schedule of activities, nor Jasmine's palace ennui, nor Mulan's societal expectation. Aurora has more freedom....now that I consider it...than a lot of the princesses have had. And I did not realize this before. How far did Aurora roam in the forest during all of her childhood? She seems pretty darn familiar with her surroundings. Aurora copes with her pervasive loneliness by using sly humor, singing to herself, and dreaming at night of her "mysterious stranger."
Belle
With the exception of her mother dying in Paris ( or somewhere) during Belle's youth when she was probably 3 or 4, Belle doesn't seem to have had any horrible experiences. Maurice, her father, moved them to "the poor provincial town" where Belle feels disgust and irritation at her neighbors because she is seen as "the oddball" for not chasing around and flirting with guys, and wanting to read instead. Belle doesn't hit adversity until Maurice gets himself lost and jailed by the local Beast. And then Belle offers her freedom for her father's life. Right up until this half of Belle's existence ( beast capture) she hasn't had anybody abuse her, nor restrict her, and the societal expectations in her village she willingly defies without much blow-back ( whereas in Mulan's case it brought shame). I don't see Belle being watched 24/7 by Maurice, and Belle only gets the 24/7 treatment when she ends up surrendering her freedom to the abusive beast. Belle copes by reading everything in the local bookstore, and singing about her favorite book. Belle is just lonely, like Aurora, and they both are outsiders occupying time until they eventually find the life they are seeking. Belle's childhood was not horrible in any way. It was somewhat sad, actually, because of the death of a parent, but that death did not translate into abuse from Maurice, as did happen in Cinderella's case, in Snow's case, and in Ariel's case.
Pocahontas
Pocahontas goes "wherever the wind takes her." Powhatan seems like he has not decided to restrict Pocahontas at all. Powhatan has given Poca complete freedom to speak her mind. Powhatan respects Poca enough. He is extremely gentle when asking her to assume her mantle as the next leader of her people. Poca takes a while to figure out who she is, but her father doesn't stop her from finding her own path. Powhatan is not monitoring Pocahontas 24/7, reducing his daughter to a slave, or demanding that she marry Kocoum right away. He doesn't want war, but he does want to see that there is safety for his daughter, his tribe, and peace for his land. He's an example of a good dad.
Tiana
Tiana wins this weird childhood countdown. Tiana has the best childhood Disney has crafted in a long time. Maybe, it's the best childhood since Bambi (before Bambi's mother died). I don't ever see Tiana's parents scolding her, restricting her movements, or denying her the things she loves to do (cooking). Tiana's dad is exceptional. He is so engaging, so humorous, so instantly likeable that it physically hurts me when Disney yanks him out of the picture. :( The only damper on Tiana's life is the death of her dad and his dream. The Segregation of Blacks in the South of 1920s New Orleans, Louisiana is a further backdrop to Tiana's personal pain. Tiana's father dies when she is sixteen ( I'm guessing? Because Tiana looks like she is 19 in the movie or something, same age as Cinderella). The plot kicks in afterward, and Tiana becomes a grieving and very angry adult. But Tia's dad and mom never mistreated her, and she has insanely good memories of her family life.
This is my deduction from seeing each princess’s situation in their movies, and watching each one cope with the situation into which they were born. Though I have experienced emotional trauma myself, I don't think each princess really had it that easy. I don’t think every princess had the worst childhood, either. Likewise, I don’t think every princess had the best childhood. Some childhoods were right smack dab in the middle and isolating, but these—in my view-- sidestepped being marked by episodes of outright punishment, volatility, and slavery.
Leave thoughts below. Thanks. And until next time...
My categories of adverse childhood situations (some with severe adverse conditions) are based on evaluation from the domestic violence class I took. I'll be frank. I have my own dissociation/childhood trauma.
This is an article where I'm defining where I'd group categories of adverse childhood experiences, specifically for the Disney Princesses. I'll also add in how each princess copes with their where-I-was-born dilemma.
Ariel and Rapunzel are right close together, because they just share the border between authoritarian parenting and authoritative parenting. Those parenting styles are similar, but are not the same.
Severe and Pervasive Childhood Oppression-- the Authoritarian Parenting Style
Cinderella, Snow White, and Ariel receive this slot.
Cinderella
Cinderella becomes a slave in her own home. With her parents both dead, her stepmother treats her like dirt. Cinderella has the most "hope in her heart" next to Snow White. Cinderella copes by daydreaming and dreaming of a life free of her tormentors.
Snow White
Snow White is first shown in rags, and is mopping the stairs of the castle. I don't know how she ended up as a slave, but with both parents dead, and another evil stepmother in place... Snow is basically impoverished, with one good dress, and one that is rags. Stepmother tries multiple times to kill this girl. Snow copes by singing songs, by praying, and by doing her own pastimes: cleaning and baking.
Ariel
Ariel is first shown exploring a shipwreck, and saving her best friend Flounder from a shark. The very next scene we get featuring Ariel is one in which she gets scolded by the court conductor, Sebastian, and reprimanded by her father for forgetting to show up at a concert. It seems like both the court conductor and Ariel's dad each are insulted and embarrassed by Ariel's behavior, and so the two of them "decide between them" that Ariel requires CONSTANT SUPERVISION. This "constant supervision thing" is Sebastian's idea, first, but King Triton wholeheartedly agrees with it, and this set-up soon predominates Ariel's whole existence under the sea. Sebastian is tracking Ariel's every move. It's Sebastian who sells out Ariel by divulging that she saved a human and is keeping a grotto of human detritus. Ariel copes by singing to herself, collecting what debris she can find, and generally trying to remain upbeat in a restrictive atmosphere. However, for her pains, Ariel is yelled at for her forgetfulness and curiosity; her father uses his trident and violently destroys her collection to "get through to her" that all humans are awful, and that he protects her by dominating her life. I find "constant supervision" stultifying to a person. This should be applied only to someone who is around 5 years old or less. Ariel is not 5 years old in the original 1989 film.
Constant supervision is not something a sixteen year old wants, and most psychologists will tell you, that parents who "set-up" this authoritarian parenting style are actually implementing abuse.
Less Severe, but Extremely Problematic Parenting Styles-- halfway between Authoritarian and Authoritative
Rapunzel
Rapunzel is kidnapped soon after birth because her parents used/stole an enchanted flower that belonged to a witch named Gothel to prevent Rapunzel's mother from dying in childbirth. Gothel decides that in retribution for what was "stolen" from her, she will do the stealing, too. So Gothel sneaks in and steals their child away... which is similar to the original Rapoince tale where Rapoince's father steals this type of lettuce from the witch's garden to prevent his wife from dying, and in trade, the witch steals the daughter from the parents. So, Rapunzel's folks are partly to blame for what happened to Rapunzel even in the Disney version. Afterward, Punzie grows up isolated in a tower, provided with every material thing she could want from Gothel, save seeing another face that isn't Gothel's. Punzie sings, paints, plays chess, sews, cooks, makes candles, reads, and tracks the stars. Punzie dresses up her chameleon, Pascal, to get a practical joke or two. These are Punzie's coping mechanisms, along with seeing "the lights" every year on the same day. Punzie is most curious about the lights, and THIS is the part where she feels DISSATISFIED. Otherwise, Punzie doesn't see her life as horrible, and this is rooted in her own ignorance resulting from Gothel's situational manipulation, and this is also partially because Gothel hasn't been a helicopter parent on Punzie, nor reduced Rapunzel to direct servitude. It's Pascal who attempts to leave the tower first, and Punzie scoops him up before he can get too far out the window. Rapunzel feels BORED and wonders "when will my life begin?" But is she tormented? I have seen children who were tormented individuals (as I am a nurse), and I can tell you that no, Rapunzel is not acting like a tormented adolescent. Finally, deviating from the warped fairy-tale, Disney introduces Flynn/Eugene who stumbles on Punzie's tower while running from a heist-gone-bad. And it is Rapunzel who ties Flynn up and DEMANDS that he take her to see the lights if he wants the "crown object" back. Gothel is abusive in creating an environment that preys on Rapunzel's gullibility and ignorance. But compared to someone who is under constant supervision for every choice ( which is what is going on with Ariel)--- this is not so with Rapunzel. Gothel visits Rapunzel once a week, if that. And Rapunzel doesn't get told that her priorities are wrong. Gothel has "one rule" for Rapunzel, while Triton's law on humans was more like 5 rules disguised to deter dissent. I see Rapunzel as a victim of both her parents stupid choice to steal a plant, and as Gothel's equally stupid retaliation move to prevent age deterioration. But when I think about Rapunzel's actual day-to-day existence, Rapunzel's day-to-day life is more like Merida's and Jasmine's: little on the excitement part, and big on the tedium. Gothel never gives Rapunzel constant supervision. Rapunzel hides Flynn before/and while Gothel is there. Rapunzel herself is good at withholding things she doesn't want her pseudo-stepmom to know. Even the Rapunzel in the original tale hid the ladder she was making to escape the tower. The Rapunzel in Disney's tale and in the original has agency, and she makes her own choices. She is not being supervised and bullied 24/7.
Merida
Merida's mother is strict. Merida doesn't get "a day all of her own" until the end of the week, as it were. Most of the time Elinor is trying to groom Merida to become the next Queen of Dunbroch. Merida doesn't like this, and balks at every opportunity. Merida copes with her mother's restrictive schedule on her life, by using the bleep out of her "one day a week personal time" to do everything from archery to climbing the firefalls. Elinor is strict, but she isn't sneakily abusive like Gothel, nor is she constantly supervising Merida's whereabouts like Triton does to Ariel through Sebastian. I don't like Elinor initially, because she's so prim and stuck-up, but she does less harm to Merida than Gothel and King Triton do to Punzie and Ariel.
Jasmine
She's confined to the palace. She is restricted by location and by the fact that she has to marry a prince. Jasmine's options in suitors irritate her, and she chafes at being "a prize to be won." But Jas has a better life than Rapunzel and Merida, because the sultan, her father, is never purposely sneaky nor purposely restrictive. He also does not send someone to watch Jasmine 24/7, and leaves her largely to herself. Jasmine copes... by having Rajah nip and bite playfully at her suitors. That's the bonus for having a tiger for a pet.
Mulan
Chinese culture was restrictive and obligated women to become wives. Mulan isn't confined to the house like Rapunzel is, doesn't seem to have a rigid schedule like Merida, and doesn't have a designated row of suitors pushed up in her face like Jasmine. However, Mulan doesn't have the freedom to be herself and to make her own choices, which is societal and which her parents are reinforcing. The good thing is that Mulan isn't being watched 24/7 either, which is why she could get away with cheating and painting verses on her arm as a method to try to pass the matchmaker's exam. Mulan mopes and sings when coping with her situation. I don't see her doing a lot else in the movie with coping, at least not until she decides to try to prove herself.
The Best Childhoods Among The Disney Princesses-- halfway between Authoritative and Permissive
Aurora
The movie seems to show that Aurora hardly received a stern word from Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather. Aurora views these women as "my three nosy aunts," but doesn't seem to feel that they are undeniably restrictive, and who watch her every movement. In fact, the three fairies send Aurora out all by herself on her sixteenth birthday to collect berries. That doesn't sound like King Triton's constant supervision of Ariel, nor Rapunzel's "one limitation rule," nor Merida's strict schedule of activities, nor Jasmine's palace ennui, nor Mulan's societal expectation. Aurora has more freedom....now that I consider it...than a lot of the princesses have had. And I did not realize this before. How far did Aurora roam in the forest during all of her childhood? She seems pretty darn familiar with her surroundings. Aurora copes with her pervasive loneliness by using sly humor, singing to herself, and dreaming at night of her "mysterious stranger."
Belle
With the exception of her mother dying in Paris ( or somewhere) during Belle's youth when she was probably 3 or 4, Belle doesn't seem to have had any horrible experiences. Maurice, her father, moved them to "the poor provincial town" where Belle feels disgust and irritation at her neighbors because she is seen as "the oddball" for not chasing around and flirting with guys, and wanting to read instead. Belle doesn't hit adversity until Maurice gets himself lost and jailed by the local Beast. And then Belle offers her freedom for her father's life. Right up until this half of Belle's existence ( beast capture) she hasn't had anybody abuse her, nor restrict her, and the societal expectations in her village she willingly defies without much blow-back ( whereas in Mulan's case it brought shame). I don't see Belle being watched 24/7 by Maurice, and Belle only gets the 24/7 treatment when she ends up surrendering her freedom to the abusive beast. Belle copes by reading everything in the local bookstore, and singing about her favorite book. Belle is just lonely, like Aurora, and they both are outsiders occupying time until they eventually find the life they are seeking. Belle's childhood was not horrible in any way. It was somewhat sad, actually, because of the death of a parent, but that death did not translate into abuse from Maurice, as did happen in Cinderella's case, in Snow's case, and in Ariel's case.
Pocahontas
Pocahontas goes "wherever the wind takes her." Powhatan seems like he has not decided to restrict Pocahontas at all. Powhatan has given Poca complete freedom to speak her mind. Powhatan respects Poca enough. He is extremely gentle when asking her to assume her mantle as the next leader of her people. Poca takes a while to figure out who she is, but her father doesn't stop her from finding her own path. Powhatan is not monitoring Pocahontas 24/7, reducing his daughter to a slave, or demanding that she marry Kocoum right away. He doesn't want war, but he does want to see that there is safety for his daughter, his tribe, and peace for his land. He's an example of a good dad.
Tiana
Tiana wins this weird childhood countdown. Tiana has the best childhood Disney has crafted in a long time. Maybe, it's the best childhood since Bambi (before Bambi's mother died). I don't ever see Tiana's parents scolding her, restricting her movements, or denying her the things she loves to do (cooking). Tiana's dad is exceptional. He is so engaging, so humorous, so instantly likeable that it physically hurts me when Disney yanks him out of the picture. :( The only damper on Tiana's life is the death of her dad and his dream. The Segregation of Blacks in the South of 1920s New Orleans, Louisiana is a further backdrop to Tiana's personal pain. Tiana's father dies when she is sixteen ( I'm guessing? Because Tiana looks like she is 19 in the movie or something, same age as Cinderella). The plot kicks in afterward, and Tiana becomes a grieving and very angry adult. But Tia's dad and mom never mistreated her, and she has insanely good memories of her family life.
This is my deduction from seeing each princess’s situation in their movies, and watching each one cope with the situation into which they were born. Though I have experienced emotional trauma myself, I don't think each princess really had it that easy. I don’t think every princess had the worst childhood, either. Likewise, I don’t think every princess had the best childhood. Some childhoods were right smack dab in the middle and isolating, but these—in my view-- sidestepped being marked by episodes of outright punishment, volatility, and slavery.
Leave thoughts below. Thanks. And until next time...
