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Bellatrix getting mad. Again.
Bellatrix getting mad. Again.
Me, Myself, and I

By Rita Skeeter

Exclusive interview with notorious Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange

"Here I am, sitting in the private dungeon of the notorious Bellatrix Lestrange, most feared follower of the Dark Lord, and having a completely normal interview. Read on to see if there’s more to Bellatrix than just madness and a nasty reputation!"

RS: Hello!

BL: *growls*

RS: Do you mind if I use a quick-quotes quill?

BL: What’s that?

*fingers wand handle threateningly*

RS: Oh, nothing, erm, moving on…Can I call you Bella?

BL: No.

RS: Can I see your Dark Mark?

BL: *glares threateningly* How DARE...
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Credit: www.the-leaky-cauldron.org. I didn't write this.

"This afternoon, I was lucky enough to be among 400 other movie fans to attend a test screening of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" in Chicago, Illinois.
Rumors had been circuiting around the internet about this screening, but confirmation that it was Harry Potter didn't come until just before the film started. Since this was a working cut of the film, many effects and scenes were not finished. At least 50% of the special effects were still in the CGI rendering stage, and green screens were visible throughout the film. Also,...
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Go Voldie!
Go Voldie!
Credit: sparknotes.com. They have this thing every week called the "Think Tank", and this was the problem from a few weeks ago. Can you guys help our Lord solve the problem? Or will he crucio you into oblivion for not being able to? How word-savvy are you fellow Death Eaters??

Everybody's favorite Dark Lord is dressed in his finest white zoot suit (picture Joseph Gordon Levitt, but with vastly more figurative blood on his hands, or Sue Sylvester, with vastly more figurative blood on hers) and can't wait to meet up with—well, no one, because he has no friends. But nonetheless, he's breathless...
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These are a bunch of funny alternate endings to Harry Potter I found. I did NOT write them.

Scooby Doo ending: Voldemort is captured, and is revealed to be Filch wearing a mask. As he is hauled away, he shouts, “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

South Park ending: After defeating Voldemort, Harry and Ron address the audience, saying, “You know, I’ve learned something today.” Suddenly, Ginny is run over by the Knight Bus, prompting Ron to shout, “They killed Ginny!” Harry responds, “You bastards!” Neville laughs and says it’s...
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Name: Katherina Nastacia Smirnov (Also sometimes spelled Smirnoff). Goes by "Kate". If you're mad at her, use her full name, :P

Kate joined the Death Eaters when Voldemort was first in power, and is one of the few female Death Eaters. She is an extremely skilled and accomplished witch, with excellent dueling skills.
Kate is Russian, and started out her schooling at Durmstrang, but transferred to Hogwarts during her third year. She told people it was because she wanted a better education, but it was really because she'd gotten kicked out of Durmstrang. On purpose. She hated it there, and she...
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Credit: mugglenet.com

1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

4. Apparate next to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

6. ...enchant the cleanser to follow him around anyway.

7. Tell him you stole his teddy bear.

8. Tell him you won't give it back until he agrees to wash his hair.

9. When he washes his hair, tell him you were just kidding and said teddy bear has already been destroyed.

10. Sneak...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Here's the deal...with everything that's just happened, I feel the need to say a few things. And some of you might not like them. Please read this with an open mind, and understand that i'm not mad, and that this is just my opinion. Like i've also said at the bottom of this article, i'm NOT accusing anyone of anything, and i'm NOT trying to offend anyone. When this whole issue is resolved, I hope I can still be friends with all of you, because you're all great people, and i'm really glad to have met you.
With that, here's "Brutal Honesty, Part 1"

I honestly can't believe how some of you have...
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Voldemort didn't really have much experience with love letters. Okay, he had no experience with them, having never really believed in love until he'd laid eyes on Dolores Umbridge.

"Hmmm", he muttered to himself, "You make me feel like I'm being Crucio-ed", he scribbled the lines down on a piece of parchment then crossed the out. What if she didn't like violence or crucio?

"Maybe I should just ask her out", he thought.

After several hours of planning his next move, he conjured up a bouquet of roses. He knew women liked roses. What he didn't know was that women usually preferred their roses to...
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Credit: link. I didn't write it myself.

"I like taking pointless Facebook surveys as much as the next person. But, since they’re mostly about kissing, I started to wonder how someone completely incapable of feeling love might handle such things. So I just had to tag my good pal Lord Voldemort in my most recent survey. Here's what he had to say:

Was your last kiss standing up, sitting down, or lying down?
The only kiss I believe in is the Dementor's kiss, and as I have very little soul remaining in my withered husk of a body, one would have little effect on me.

Whose bed were you on last?
Nagini's,...
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    Wormtail sighed as he sprayed detergent on the Dark Lords second-best black robe, (which, coincidentally, looked almost exactly like his best black robe. And his third, fourth, fifth, and sixth best black robes as well). He found it rather depressing that even after all he had done, handing over the Potters, and helping the Dark Lord regain his body, that the Dark Lord STILL made him do his laundry and fetch his lattes. At least it wasn’t as bad this time, since Bellatrix wasn’t-
“Hahahahaha!”, came a loud cackle behind him. He buried his face in his hands, which...
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posted by Lenzetta-Lovett
Lightning struck in the bitter night. Water trickled down the wall and into my hair. If there were ever such a thing as hell on Earth, this place was it. Azkaban, which has been my home for about a year or two is that hell. It's a place that even the most blood thirsty wizards are known to fear. Just the darkness of this place can turn the calmest woman into a screaming banshee, or the most understanding man into a cynical old grocuh. I blinked as a drop of ice cold water fell onto my forehead and ran down my nose. Just then, I heard a loud scream of a woman, which went on for about three minutes...
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Hey Guys. Here is A list I came up with (Luna--Lovegood helped) of fun ways to annoy Bellatrix. Guaranteed to get you crucio-ed! Please comment and let me know what you think. Thank you to Luna--Lovegood for helping me write this, you are quite creative for a non-deatheater, Luna!

1. Impersonate the dark Lord and convince her that he’s really into peace with Muggles.

2. Whenever she cackles evilly, roll your eyes in an obvious way and grumble, “That’s getting sooooo old, Bella”

3. Next time she uses the Cruciatus Curse on someone, groan and say she has no imagination when it comes to torturing...
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posted by Xander-Kriechen
    Xander walked quickly down the long corridor dragging a prisoner behind him.
    “Help! Help!” the woman laughs as she stumbles along in Xander’s grasp, “I’m being oppressed!”
Rolling his eyes, the young prison guard throws the deranged woman into her cell, causing her to fall to her knees. He quickly shuts the prison bars and glares at her through them.
    “My, my, sir,” the woman began smirking up at her guard, “You just met me, no need to be so aggressive with me yet.”
    “Ms. Clement,...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Okay, so I saw Sam's post about how we need more ideas for scenarios, so I took it upon myself to start a list.
With some things, like, in the past, I think what has happened quite a few times is there's actually a great idea for a scenario, but then we start RPing, and then never actually get to the real scenario....like we drag out leading up to it, or never progress in a scenario.
In this list, an asterisk * will indicate scenarios that I think were good ideas but that we've started and never "gotten to" if that makes sense. Is this just me, or does anyone else notice this too?
ALSO-I JUST...
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Burning Dumbledore in effigy
Burning Dumbledore in effigy
Hey, I loved that article Umbridge did, those pictures were great!



Here are a few more, sort of like you suggested, My Lord.

Do you plan on extending your reign to the rest of the world, like the United States or are you just taking over England and the Wizarding world??



Also, haha just wondering if you'd be willing to post more stuff about how you plan on ruling the world?


Anyway, yeah, ALL credit to Umbridge for the idea, I had so much fun making these!!



If you guys have any suggestions please let me know, :)




Tell me what you think ok??
Bellatrix's night job as a professional Assasin
Bellatrix's night job as a professional Assasin
Narcissa goes Hollywood, and becomes a movie star
Narcissa goes Hollywood, and becomes a movie star
Fenrir also has great sucess with a Hockey career
Fenrir also has great sucess with a Hockey career
Voldemort also takes over America, and joins their ranks of great leaders on Mt. Rushmore
Voldemort also takes over America, and joins their ranks of great leaders on Mt. Rushmore
The new "Dark Lord Dollar" Coin
The new "Dark Lord Dollar" Coin
Umbridge’s Rules:

These are the first proclamations made by Dolores Umbridge. Please feel free to comment and I will edit the rules as need be.

1. All are welcome to join this spot: Roleplayers, Non-RP’s, extraterrestrials, etc.

2. If you want to play as a known character, please state your character in Bellatrix's link and make sure that character is not taken by someone else first.

3. If you want to be another version of a taken character, please contact the person who is playing the original version of that character first to inquire if they mind this.

4. Characters in this spot can be from...
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posted by Xander-Kriechen
This is basically why Xander doesn't love anyone anymore...

Love. It's a disease of the mind.

His vision began to get cloudy as tears weld up in his eyes. The brick walls zoomed by as he ran down the corridor. Gaurds were watching, Shaking their heads at the younger man's foolishness. Xander completely disregarded them. 

Xander was young for a prison gaurd. When he started he had just turned seventeen. However, that look of innocence that most teenagers would have had vanished. His grey eyes were empty now and his skin was a sickly pale color. He looked to be at least thirty, though he was only...
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posted by Lenzetta-Lovett
Okay so I want to show you guys how I expect my characters to be for now on...

Xander: Xander is now going to be more miserable and quiet (He's still going to talk obviously, just not as optimistically) He still drinks, but he won't act like a five year old when he does. I'm making him more aggressive (I'll get onto my reasoning for this later) His hair will still change with his attitude. I'm going to diagnose Xandykins with some multiple personality disorder (I just think this would be interesting xD) He will still be sarcastic. This time, Xander won't hesitate to fight anyone (including girls....
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posted by DmitryVladimir
ESCAPED! ESCAPED! ESCAPED!

Dmitry Vladimir, male, white, aged 24 years, single, a native of Romania. Recommended his commitment to Azkaban, finding him suffering from mental illness, perhaps Insanity.

He was caught by the Ministry on the date of August 18th, on the street of Cherry Tree Lane, and charged with reckless behavior and convicted Death Eater. He seems to be insane.. Always yelling in his mother language, shaking the bars and slamming the stone walls, even laughing out spontaneously. Be cautious for when cornered Mr. Vladimir will lash out. The results are in fact not pretty. During...
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posted by Lenzetta-Lovett
Trouble...

Double double. Toil and trouble.

She's the master of making people cringe. Life is her game and the people of the non-pure race are her pawns. People beg for death at her feet. She laughs at their misery but doesnt give into their pleads. She is a bully, and her only friend, when said at the absolute best moment, is the her favorite curse. Her dark eyes pierce into the souls of her foes and friends. She is a woman of pride, knowing that all of her fellow death eaters are jealous when they see what damage she can do with just one word. "crucio." Wearing black from head to toe, the woman...
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