I read these today and decided they should be an article. Enjoy.

Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle,

the cow jumped over the moon!

The little dog laughed to see such sport,

and the dish ran away with the spoon!

He ran from conviction and fed his addiction,

as the dish heated the spoon.

The spoon begged to go but the dish shouted "NO!

The Heroin will be ready soon.

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Bill: Can I have my socks back?
*pause*
Bill: Are you even listening?
Frank: Oh, Sorry, I was staring at your breasts.
Bill: But im a guy!
*pause*
Frank: Did you say something?