Man that theme song written by Ziggy Marley hit me like a giant semitruck carrying my childhood. I want to say something really important as this is technically the Arthur pilot and it’s a publicly funded animated series with like, 26 episodes in its first order…
What am I dithering about?
So don’t you notice that in the first episode of a tv series, the plotline is usually “Everyone, meet everyone” where the gang of friends gets together or inducts a new person into their gang. And the the writers are crossing their fingers that enough people give a damn about the show so they can write more episodes.
What does Arthur do? Arthur doesn’t try to get you to care about these characters. Hell, they don’t even introduce everybody in this episode. I mean, you see the other characters and they get the occasional line but Arthur doesn’t care. It drops you right in the middle of Elwood City and tell you, “I hope you like these people because you’re going to be seeing A LOT of them. Like for the next fifteen years.”
On to the recap:
Arthur is woken up in the middle of the night by his dumbass sister DW (I was going to write a derogatory name starting with a w but I remember this girl is 4) who claims that they have a long lost brother that their parents are trying to hide from them.
Arthur:
link
No, he didn’t really. He should have, though. I mean, she claims, “You were born with glasses!” Honestly, has DW never seen her brother without his glasses? Arthur got his glasses in the second/first grade (she was two apparently and there’s a four year difference between them). I know I don’t remember a lot from when I was two but it’s been sixteen years for me. For DW, it’s only been two. Come on. I remember what I did two years ago: reading Outsiders fanfiction and trying to write my own. I deleted it though, so no one can blackmail me. MUAHAHAHA.
Anyway, Arthur tells DW that those pictures are just of him before he got his glasses. He tells the tale which began in his second or first grade classroom…
Speaking of which, I know this is publicly funded but there is a glaring continuity error here. Muffy is pictured in the classroom but in a later episode, she is introduced as a new student in the third grade. Come on PBS. Still, the plot holes are less frequent than the ones on Glee so I’m not going to complain too much.
Anyway, there’ a math test and Arthur can’t see the board and when he gets his grades back, he is like this:
link
No, really he is. “I guess math’s not your subject,” says Francine Frensky, Bitch of Lakewood. “I have a headache,” says Arthur. “Yeah, I know,” says Buster. “Sometimes Francine gives me a headache too.”
link
Seriously, Francine is a giant bitch and she’s been eight years old for fifteen years. I guess you could say maybe that’s why she’s a bitch but I was not even four minutes into the episode…
So it’s gym class and due to his poor eyesight, Arthur misses a free throw. Francine snarks at him.
Later, the kids line up to take a free eye exam. It is here that Arthur is told to sit aside because he failed. Francine gloats in his misery. She sing songs, “ARTHUR’S IN TROUBLE.”
I was going to put a Fuck you gif here but…Francine Frensky is a giant bitch. It’s a permanent fact. Like how the grass is green, the sky is blue, the sun is warm, and Glee is getting pretty shitty as time goes by.
The eye doctor’s name is Dr. Iris. I wonder if that’s her first name or last name. Anyway, Arthur tries on his glasses and we get triumphant music. I know I may seem like I’m breezing over this but this a momentous occasion people.
It’s like Captain America getting injected with the super serum, like Peter Parker getting bitten by that spider, like President Obama getting inaugurated or like man landing on the moon. Or Don’t Stop Believing by Journey being written.
Arthur acts like a typical 7 year old and obnoxiously points out uncomfortable truths.
But karma strikes back because when Arthur comes into the classroom, Francine is there and you know what she says?
"Hey Buster, look!
ARTHUR’S
A
FOUR
EYES!”
The class laughs at her brilliant wit. God, what a bitch.
Buster defends Arthur and tells Francine:
link
No, not really he doesn’t. But he should.
However, Francine’s bitchiness is contagious and Buster makes fun of Arthur behind his back. Arthur is pissed off at him but don’t worry, the bromance continues. What’s really awesome about this scene is that Mr. Ratburn randomly physically bars a student from crossing the cafeteria. Mr. Ratburn rocks.
Arthur walks home depressed in his flasher jacket. Man, what kind of city is Elwood City? I wish I lived there. My elementary school wouldn’t let any kids walk home alone. And we were next door to a church. Well maybe that’s why—HEY YO!!! I kid, I kid. That church wasn’t a Catholic church.
Anyway. Arthur tries to use his slingshot to shoot his glasses out of his hemisphere but God is like, “No Arthur. I put those glasses on earth for a reason: to be worn by you. Don’t listen to Francine. I only created her to test mankind. You guys are doing an upstanding job but I’m still kinda wondering why she still has friends at this point?”
Arthur tries going to school without his glasses and this results in some 100% intense shennanigans:
Arthur goes into the girl’s restroom by accident
Man, that’s pretty intense. I mean, when we were little kids, those restrooms were like this sacred territory. When a member of the opposite sex entered it, even on accident, it was like that whole place was desecrated.
Funny story: I accidentally went into the wrong restroom sometime at a Barnes and Noble. Or was it a Borders? Anyway, the urinals didn’t clue me in that I was in the wrong but then it hit me as I finished peeing. Unfortunately, a man came in and I was done with my business so I had to make a choice. I didn’t want to hide in the stall until he left because I had some freeloading to do in the kid’s section so I calmly walked out of the stall, washed my hands, and then walked out.
I bet I confused that guy. I bet he thought he was in the wrong restroom. I bet he thought the urinal he was at was some kind of fancy new lady urinal. Haha. Good times.
Arthur is prepared to end it all when he turns on the TV to watch the Bionic Bunny show which is airing a “making of” episode. Man, I hated those things. I didn’t care how an episode was filmed, I was following some wacky misadventures and I wanted them to continue dammit!
I hope you all realize that I never watched a children’s television show that had a “making of” episode. I am referring to “Everybody Loves Raymond”.
Anyway, the guy playing Bionic Bunny wears the exact same pair as Arthur so he decided to put down the razor and takes this information and rubs it in anyone who tries to make fun of him.
Thanks to his new glasses, Arthur pwns at school. Even Francine wears fake glasses to impress him.
Arthur is the Head Bitch in Charge at Lakewood. I tell you, it’s the glasses.
The episode ends with Arthur and DW looking through some more pictures. DW sees a guy with a beard with their mom and assume it’s her ex-husband. DW is dumb and just wants drama in her life.
I think she’s on her way to being a Kardashian.
I gotta quickly talk about the “And Now A Word From Us Kid” segments. It was my childhood dream to be on one of those. That, and be on “Zoom”. But Zoom was filmed in Boston and I assumed that’s where the got the kids from the Arthur segments too.
I hope those kids used those segments to win attention from the opposite sex. Or same sex. However they roll. I know it would impress me but I am a sad person. I am writing Arthur recaps, after all.
GRADE: A (for a pilot and as a stand alone episode)
RATING: 100% INTENSE (This is Arthur’s origin story)
What am I dithering about?
So don’t you notice that in the first episode of a tv series, the plotline is usually “Everyone, meet everyone” where the gang of friends gets together or inducts a new person into their gang. And the the writers are crossing their fingers that enough people give a damn about the show so they can write more episodes.
What does Arthur do? Arthur doesn’t try to get you to care about these characters. Hell, they don’t even introduce everybody in this episode. I mean, you see the other characters and they get the occasional line but Arthur doesn’t care. It drops you right in the middle of Elwood City and tell you, “I hope you like these people because you’re going to be seeing A LOT of them. Like for the next fifteen years.”
On to the recap:
Arthur is woken up in the middle of the night by his dumbass sister DW (I was going to write a derogatory name starting with a w but I remember this girl is 4) who claims that they have a long lost brother that their parents are trying to hide from them.
Arthur:
link
No, he didn’t really. He should have, though. I mean, she claims, “You were born with glasses!” Honestly, has DW never seen her brother without his glasses? Arthur got his glasses in the second/first grade (she was two apparently and there’s a four year difference between them). I know I don’t remember a lot from when I was two but it’s been sixteen years for me. For DW, it’s only been two. Come on. I remember what I did two years ago: reading Outsiders fanfiction and trying to write my own. I deleted it though, so no one can blackmail me. MUAHAHAHA.
Anyway, Arthur tells DW that those pictures are just of him before he got his glasses. He tells the tale which began in his second or first grade classroom…
Speaking of which, I know this is publicly funded but there is a glaring continuity error here. Muffy is pictured in the classroom but in a later episode, she is introduced as a new student in the third grade. Come on PBS. Still, the plot holes are less frequent than the ones on Glee so I’m not going to complain too much.
Anyway, there’ a math test and Arthur can’t see the board and when he gets his grades back, he is like this:
link
No, really he is. “I guess math’s not your subject,” says Francine Frensky, Bitch of Lakewood. “I have a headache,” says Arthur. “Yeah, I know,” says Buster. “Sometimes Francine gives me a headache too.”
link
Seriously, Francine is a giant bitch and she’s been eight years old for fifteen years. I guess you could say maybe that’s why she’s a bitch but I was not even four minutes into the episode…
So it’s gym class and due to his poor eyesight, Arthur misses a free throw. Francine snarks at him.
Later, the kids line up to take a free eye exam. It is here that Arthur is told to sit aside because he failed. Francine gloats in his misery. She sing songs, “ARTHUR’S IN TROUBLE.”
I was going to put a Fuck you gif here but…Francine Frensky is a giant bitch. It’s a permanent fact. Like how the grass is green, the sky is blue, the sun is warm, and Glee is getting pretty shitty as time goes by.
The eye doctor’s name is Dr. Iris. I wonder if that’s her first name or last name. Anyway, Arthur tries on his glasses and we get triumphant music. I know I may seem like I’m breezing over this but this a momentous occasion people.
It’s like Captain America getting injected with the super serum, like Peter Parker getting bitten by that spider, like President Obama getting inaugurated or like man landing on the moon. Or Don’t Stop Believing by Journey being written.
Arthur acts like a typical 7 year old and obnoxiously points out uncomfortable truths.
But karma strikes back because when Arthur comes into the classroom, Francine is there and you know what she says?
"Hey Buster, look!
ARTHUR’S
A
FOUR
EYES!”
The class laughs at her brilliant wit. God, what a bitch.
Buster defends Arthur and tells Francine:
link
No, not really he doesn’t. But he should.
However, Francine’s bitchiness is contagious and Buster makes fun of Arthur behind his back. Arthur is pissed off at him but don’t worry, the bromance continues. What’s really awesome about this scene is that Mr. Ratburn randomly physically bars a student from crossing the cafeteria. Mr. Ratburn rocks.
Arthur walks home depressed in his flasher jacket. Man, what kind of city is Elwood City? I wish I lived there. My elementary school wouldn’t let any kids walk home alone. And we were next door to a church. Well maybe that’s why—HEY YO!!! I kid, I kid. That church wasn’t a Catholic church.
Anyway. Arthur tries to use his slingshot to shoot his glasses out of his hemisphere but God is like, “No Arthur. I put those glasses on earth for a reason: to be worn by you. Don’t listen to Francine. I only created her to test mankind. You guys are doing an upstanding job but I’m still kinda wondering why she still has friends at this point?”
Arthur tries going to school without his glasses and this results in some 100% intense shennanigans:
Arthur goes into the girl’s restroom by accident
Man, that’s pretty intense. I mean, when we were little kids, those restrooms were like this sacred territory. When a member of the opposite sex entered it, even on accident, it was like that whole place was desecrated.
Funny story: I accidentally went into the wrong restroom sometime at a Barnes and Noble. Or was it a Borders? Anyway, the urinals didn’t clue me in that I was in the wrong but then it hit me as I finished peeing. Unfortunately, a man came in and I was done with my business so I had to make a choice. I didn’t want to hide in the stall until he left because I had some freeloading to do in the kid’s section so I calmly walked out of the stall, washed my hands, and then walked out.
I bet I confused that guy. I bet he thought he was in the wrong restroom. I bet he thought the urinal he was at was some kind of fancy new lady urinal. Haha. Good times.
Arthur is prepared to end it all when he turns on the TV to watch the Bionic Bunny show which is airing a “making of” episode. Man, I hated those things. I didn’t care how an episode was filmed, I was following some wacky misadventures and I wanted them to continue dammit!
I hope you all realize that I never watched a children’s television show that had a “making of” episode. I am referring to “Everybody Loves Raymond”.
Anyway, the guy playing Bionic Bunny wears the exact same pair as Arthur so he decided to put down the razor and takes this information and rubs it in anyone who tries to make fun of him.
Thanks to his new glasses, Arthur pwns at school. Even Francine wears fake glasses to impress him.
Arthur is the Head Bitch in Charge at Lakewood. I tell you, it’s the glasses.
The episode ends with Arthur and DW looking through some more pictures. DW sees a guy with a beard with their mom and assume it’s her ex-husband. DW is dumb and just wants drama in her life.
I think she’s on her way to being a Kardashian.
I gotta quickly talk about the “And Now A Word From Us Kid” segments. It was my childhood dream to be on one of those. That, and be on “Zoom”. But Zoom was filmed in Boston and I assumed that’s where the got the kids from the Arthur segments too.
I hope those kids used those segments to win attention from the opposite sex. Or same sex. However they roll. I know it would impress me but I am a sad person. I am writing Arthur recaps, after all.
GRADE: A (for a pilot and as a stand alone episode)
RATING: 100% INTENSE (This is Arthur’s origin story)
