E

(A body lies in a small pool with blood coming out of it)
Cody: (Narrating) I never thought this sort of thing would happen to me

(2 Weeks Earlier)
Cody: (Watches Scarface) Wow… the 80s were fucked
Wind: I don’t know. Our generation isn’t any better. In fact, I think, besides the threat of nuclear war from the Russians, it’s a little worse.
Cody: Still though. All that because he sold cocaine
Wind: Well, it’s a dangerous business after all
Cody: I know… Maybe if he sold something like… cookies, it would have been better
Wind: And probably fucking retarded
Cody: I’m just saying. Things...

~Facebook~

Man: Hi, friend
Wind: Uh… do I know you
Man: Of course you do. We just met five seconds ago. Now were the best of friends
Wind: I literally have no idea who you are
Man: Oh, you’re a funny guy. Like
Wind: What the hell was that
Man: I just liked your comment
Wind: But, all I did was say a sentence
Man: Like
Wind: Will you stop that
Man: Like
Wind: Cut it out
Man: Like
Wind: WILL YOU CUT IT THE F**K OUT
Man: Oh, man. Definitely Dislike

~Twitter~

Man: Hey, I just went to the store and bought some milk
Wind: Good for you
Man: Hey, I just opened the milk
Wind: Uh-huh
Man: Hey, I just drank the milk
Wind:...

Wind: I’m telling you, right now, Cody. There is no person who has ever lit themselves on fire and thought it was a good idea… Except protesters.
Cody: But those Youtube videos show people doing it all the time.
Wind: Those are just idiots who want to be popular
Miku: (Walks into class, quietly)
Wind: … Something’s not right
Cody: What do you mean
Wind: Miku is usually a very loud and obnoxious individual, and now she’s completely quiet
Cody: Really? What should we do
Wind: Simple… Nothing. Now, about those idiots who set themselves for popularity

Wind: (Walking with Cody) No, snorting a...

So I have a vague memory of this game. I remember seeing this game in a Game Informer magazine (Yeah, remember fucking gaming magazines) when I was in elementary school. Alongside games like Resident Evil Revelations, or I think, I don’t remember the exact issue, I saw this game on the side and how the reviewer thought it was the most boring game imaginable. So I avoided it for years up until now… and who boy, gaming journalism may be a joke now, but that guy was totally right. The game as developed by Vectorcell, known best for Jesus Christ Superstar on the IOS. I feel like I’m gonna...

Rick: (Wakes up from coma) Oh my god..... How long have I been out.....
(Some time before)
Rick: Okay guys, so we got this guy who is speeding..... So were going to shoot him in the head for that
Shane: Yeah, were gonna fuck him up
Criminal: (Stops car) No, stop, I'm just a business man
Rick: There he is, shoot him
Criminal: No, wait, I'll just take this out (Takes out gun) And I'll just toss it onto the ground (Throws gun on ground and shoot Rick)
Police: Quick, shoot him
Criminal: No, wait, it was an accident (Gets shot)
Shane: Rick... are you okay
Rick: Oh, sure... I just have a bullet in my body....