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Jared: Hey, we haven’t gotten lost in a while, you’re really getting the hang of this, Wikipedia!

Wikipedia: What can I say? I’m a master of direction, and holding maps… Heheh! ;D

*Drops Map*

Jared: ...…….

Jared: YOU STUPID MOTHER FUUUUUUUUU-

*FLASH*

Wind: Looks like somebody dropped the map again.

Wikipedia: HE DID IT! I’M INNOCENT I TELL YA! *Runs Away*

Wind: *Grabs Wiki* Just where do you think YOU’RE going….

Wikipedia: o____O

Wind: You’re staying here to help with my list. Any objections and I’ll shatter your bones with a battering ram.

Wikipedia: YES SIR! D:

Jared: Well…. Here we go, I guess. Wind and Jared’s Top 20 Obscure Games. What a way to start a list. :P

#20. Patapon (PSP/Commentary by Jared)



Here we have probably the most fun rhythm-based game I’ve ever played. And that’s saying a lot because Rhythm Thief for the 3DS was OH SO GLORIOUS.

But in the end, I’m giving this spot to the kawaii RPG that faded away SO many hours of my life, that I’ve started to forget how to walk.

Oh yeah, the power of kawaii IS THAT STRONG! >:D

But with all terrible jokes aside, Patapon is a very unique specimen. There’s three games in the series, but my favorite one was the first, mostly because the war against the Zigotons was so fucking fun, as was the search for Earthend.

Considered a hybrid of both music and Real Time Strategy games, Patapon is a game which focuses on the control of an army of small, cyclops-like creatures through a series of brightly-colored, silhouetted, 2D scenarios.

You fight, collect, and travel around by pressing button in sync with the dance you’re trying to do. For instance, if the attack dance is X X O X, you press X X O X in the pattern in which the Patapon characters sing their little song. “Pata-Pata-Pata-Pon!”

It’s hard to explain, but it’s a very avant-garde experience that I highly recommend ANY PSP player tries out.

#19. The Suffering (PS2, Xbox, Windows, Wii/Commentary by Wind)



Whenever you think of Midway, you usually think of the Mortal Kombat franchise. It’s quite a successful franchise, even being played today. I wonder what Midway is doing today……. Oh….. right….. They’re bankrupt……… Damn…… Anyway, As much fun as one can have with Mortal Kombat, let’s not forget one of my favorite games by them (EXCEPT YOU DID FORGET, DAMMIT) It’s a little horror game known as The Suffering. In this game, you play as a death row inmate named Torque, who is framed for the murder of his wife and two sons, and is sent to Carnate Island. Here, terrible things happen, as monsters, all of which represent different methods of execution, come out of the ground and murder everyone and cause massive chaos. Your goal is to make it off the island alive, while trying to remember what caused the deaths of your family. As you do so, you have the choice of saving or murdering every guard and inmate you come across. You are also able to transform yourself into a brutal monster based on Torque’s anger, which causes him to kill every monster he comes across in a violent rage. You explore many different parts of the island, from the cell block, to the boiler room, to the execution chambers, to the courtyard, to the asylum, and so much more. While it’s a rather simple horror game and can be beaten rather quickly, I had quite a lot of fun with it. And it was apparently good enough to spawn a sequel… Which is also very obscure. GODDAMMIT!

#18. Contra 4 (DS/Commentary by Jared)



HOLY HELL IS THIS GAME HARD! Seriously, it doesn’t matter HOW fucking fast your reaction time is in Contra 4. Bullets are constantly flying everywhere, the bosses have practically INFINITE health bars, and that’s on Easy Mode. ;D

Yeah…. I’m just gonna *SPRINTS AWAY IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION*

But again, with all god-awful satire aside, Contra 4 is a VERY fun shoot em up that is by far my favorite game in the series. Not only do you get all that cool anniversary stuff like concept art, comics, and even playable ROMs of the original NES Contra games, but you get an amazing Single-Player campaign complete with updated graphics, new weapons, AND badass bosses that are sure to give you nightmares.

Oh, and the second boss is basically Kabutops from Pokemon on steroids. B-E-A-UTIFUL.

There’s also a challenge mode! But unlike your usual mode featuring challenges, you actually get rewards for beating them! For example, beating 4 challenges gives you the option of playing the original NES Contra, beating 20 gives you a new character, beating 24 lets you see the Contra 4 promotional comics, beating all 40 gives you the Sound Test and a new Extras Museum, and that’s just HALF of the awesome shit you can get from challenges! It’s GENIUS!

I remember times where I’d stay up ALL night just raging at the challenges for more content, it’s seriously a lot of fun.

And that’s Contra 4! If you own a DS and are a fan of Contra, then you’re in luck! Since the game sadly only sold 310,000 units as of RIGHT NOW, it’s not that expensive, only 10-20 dollars.

So what’re you waiting for? Pick up Contra 4! :D

Audience: BOOOOO! YOU STINK! GET OFF THE STAGE! *Throws Tomatoes*

Jared: WHY DO I ALWAYS END UP SAYING THE CHEESIEST GODDAMN LINES!? *Runs*

#17. Trauma Team (Wii, Wii U/Commentary by Wind)



Trauma Center is already a pretty underrated series already, but let’s talk about one that was so obscure, it might as well be ancient treasure in the temple of the local pawn shop, and I just so happen to the Indiana Jones. Anyway, Trauma Team is basically like any other Trauma Center game. You try and cure people of a disease and injuries in the hospital. Unlike other Trauma Center games, you play as six different characters. There’s Tomoe Tachibana, a doctor in endoscopy who comes from a family with much honor. Hank Freebird, an orthopedic surgeon who wishes to help people as much as he can. Maria Torres, an EMT who wants to be recognized for her work. Gabe Cunningham, a diagnostician who is dealing with family problems and works with a robot AI. Naomi Kimishima, a forensics analyst working for the FBI. And lastly, CR-S01, a surgeon saving lives to reduce his prison sentence. The game has a huge story for being just about a hospital, making you do different things with each character, and having the story go from a hospital drama to a bio-terrorist attack. I can easily say this game basically does for hospitals what Phoenix Wright did for the courtroom. Make is epic and awesome as hell. While probably not as well loved as other Trauma Center games, I can easily say that with a game that is this well made for the Wii is easily worth checking out. Also, Atlus (the same one that made Persona and Catherine), made this game, so double points right there.

#16. Q*bert (PS1, Dreamcast, Commentary by Jared)



Once upon a time, there was a game called Q*bert. The objective was to step on every tile on the triangular-map to win the stage, and I still think it’s a great game. It gets harder every stage though, as the amount of times you need to step on each tile to win changes, and sometimes all the tiles must be the same color to win, and since the colors change every time you stepped on them, you needed to be one SMART MOTHER-FUCKER to win Q*bert, ESPECIALLY if you wanted to dodge those goddamn snake enemies….

Also, Q*bert cusses when he dies. I mean, the GAME shows a bunch of scrambled symbols like the question mark and whatnot, but we all know what he’s really saying…. >:)

“I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER-FUCKING SNAKES IN THIS MOTHER-FUCKING GAME!” -Q*bert 1982

BUT ANYWAYS, in 1999 we got one of my all-time favorite puzzle games. Q*bert for the PS1, which was made for the Dreamcast in the following year.

This remake added SO MUCH to the game that I’m not even sure if I could CALL IT a remake, seriously. You have a new story-line, WAY more levels, WAY more content, AMAZING graphics, A LOT more power-ups, and even more of those annoying fucking snake enemies….

“I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER-FUCKING SNAKES IN THIS MOTHER-FUCKING GAME!” -Q*bert 1999

That joke will never get old. XD

Also worth noting is that a playable ROM of the original Q*bert is playable on here, and you don’t need to do anything to unlock it! So if you’re one of those insane people who somehow likes the original one more, then you’re in luck, my mentally psychotic friend. :)

And that’s it really. Q*bert for the PS1/Dreamcast is a GREAT example of updating a game to have a lot of fun content to keep any player entertained for hours upon end. It took the already fun original and made it something that’s nothing less of a masterpiece to me. In fact, I’m surprised that competitive Q*bert isn’t a thing nowadays, considering how much fun head-on-head mode is, oh well. Even though the sales were bad, the game itself was, and still is, amazing to me.

Plus, it was the winner of Electronic Gaming Monthly’s “Puzzle Game of the Year” award, so I guess I’m not COMPLETELY alone on this one, but I still wish it got more recognition than it actually did….

I blame it on the snakes.

#15. Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood (PS3, X360, Windows/Commentary by Wind)



The only game in the entire Call of Juarez series that anyone may know is The Cartel, and that’s just for how unbelievably terrible it was. So, why did I choose Bound in Blood over the other three… It’s the only one I played… So deal with it. Anyway, Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood follows the three McCall brothers, the two outlaws Thomas and Ray, and the youngest William, who is a priest, leaving America to hide from the Southern Army that Thomas and Ray abandoned to save their family farm, and head to Mexico, where they hear of a treasure known as the Gold of Juarez that could make them rich, but is said to bring bad luck, which seems to be true as Ray and Thomas nearly kill each other (And not that over exaggeration stuff, I mean LITERALLY try to kill each other), as they fight for the love of a girl named Marisa, as William tries to get Ray and Thomas to follow God. Sure, the game may just be a simple first person shooter, but it’s a damn good one. I always had a soft spot for the old west after playing Red Dead Redemption, a rather famous old west game, and Bound in Blood feels like RDR, but with less exploration and a lot more FPS action. The game always changes things up a bit as well, with Ray and Thomas being completely different characters to play as. Ray is able to use dynamite and carries more powerful weapons, with Thomas being able to climb up buildings with the rope and can throw knives and shoots arrows. And the story was actually interesting enough to play all the way through, even if it may seem a bit simple, and honestly a bit ugly for a seventh generation game. But we don’t judge by appearance. This ain’t the Civil Rights era. We welcome all games (No Bubsy though).

#14. Super Fantasy Zone (SNES/Commentary by Jared)



If somebody asked me the question “What is a game series that you absolutely love that nobody cares about?”, I would immediately answer Fantasy Zone. Where do I even begin with this one? Well, for starters….

Fantasy Zone is a 2D scrolling shooter in which you control Opa-Opa, a ship with Twin Guns and infinite Bombs at his disposal. Using these weapons, along with the handy power of the Shop (Where you can increase your speed, get new weapons, etc), you must destroy the evil force of KAWAII! ^___^

I mean, uh, the 8 bases of the Menon army. But goddamn are some of them WAY too cute to be weapons of mass destruction. It’s like making Konata Izumi from Lucky Star the leader of a threat organization, IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. XD

And in Super Fantasy Zone, EVERYTHING I loved in the original was given a COMPLETE overhaul. The game’s not a remake, but DAMN does it feel like one.

The graphics look very clean, the controls are excellent, the music is just as whimsical as ever, but the best part of it all? The fucking parts shop.

In fact, if I were ever to make a Top 10 Video-Game Shops list, Super Fantasy Zone’s would get a guaranteed spot in the Top 3, it’s THAT FUCKING AWESOME.

You get TONS of cool weapons, like a 7-way shot, a laser beam, a wide shot with INSANE range, the ability to have two bombs on the screen at once, a upgrade to your default weapon (The Twin-Shot) that is bigger and doesn’t run out of ammo like the other purchasable weapons do, ELECTRIC-RESISTANT BOOTS, EXTRA LIVES, A FUCKING SHIELD, ENGINES FOR AGILITY, DIFFERENT TYPES OF BOMBS, SUPER-ATTACKS, THE LIST NEVER ENDS!

And even though the bosses are fairly easy, they’re also really creative and a lot of fun to fight. Seriously, this game has some of the weirdest bosses you’ll ever see in a video-game.

And that’s Super Fantasy Zone. Easily one of my favorite SNES games of all-time, and as far as scrolling shooters go, it’s one of my favorites.

#SHOPMVP

#13. Madworld (Wii/Commentary by Wind)



“Man, what is this Wii stuff? Come on, a Wii? Really? That’s a baby’s toy, made only for families and people living in the old folks home”’. Yeah, tell that to Madworld. Madworld… OH! BOY! MADWORLD! I think the best way to describe Madworld is this… It was made by Platinum Games, the same people behind Bayonetta and Metal Gear Rising. So, they have a reputation of making over-the-top insane games. And I love it. And don’t worry, Madworld is no exception. In this game, you play as Jack Cayman, an ex-marine biker guy with a chainsaw arm, thrown into Varrigan City, where it is said to host DeathWatch, a deadly game show where contestants fight wave after wave of enemies and score points in order to get to the level boss and fight them to get to the champion himself. This game has no color at all, and while some may hate that, I think it adds to the amazing game-play, as this game is REALLY violent. The only color in this game is red. Bloody, bloody red. Blood literally everywhere. You are to fight every enemy that comes at you, beat them like (Insert offensive joke here), and rack up points to get to the insane boss, which, if it’s a guy, they are always bigger than you, and if its a women…. Well, something is bigger, that’s for sure (Seriously, one of them distracts you with their breasts. What the hell? Quality gaming, everyone). Also, the rap soundtrack is catchy as hell, and I don’t even like rap music, so let that tell you something. All I can say is, at least Madworld got a sequel… That is practically dead since the multiplayer is online only……. Goddamn everything.

#12. Space Invaders Extreme 1 & 2 (DS, PSP/Commentary by Jared)



Riddle me this. What do you get when you take the classic hit Space Invaders, AND INJECT IT WITH 500 MEGATONS OF STEROIDS? You get these games, Space Invaders….

EXTREME! >:D

But in all seriousness, that’s pretty much what these games are, Space Invaders on steroids. For instance, the graphics were given a COMPLETE overhaul, there’s a lot of new mechanics, such as bonus stages and boss fights, and my personal favorite new addition, NEW WEAPONS!

You have your default shot, and three other weapons that you can get by shooting the alien of the weapon’s color. For example, shooting various green invaders (I think it’s four you have to kill) gets you a spread gun, shooting red aliens gets you a cluster bomb, and my personal favorite, shooting blue aliens gets you A CYAN LASER.

Gee…. Cyan Laser…. Where have I heard that one before?

YOU HEAR THAT SONIC COLORS!? SPACE INVADERS DID IT FIRST! :D

The weapons last a short amount of time though, so use them wisely.

Another cool mechanic was the shot upgrade system. Basically, the more aliens you kill without dying, the higher level your weapons are. Higher level weapons have bigger hitboxes and do more damage, so you want to hit as much as you can while also dodging as much as you can, which can make the game pretty damn frantic at times.

And overall, it’s a wonderful recreation of the classic hit we all know and love. If you like space shooters and own a Nintendo DS, then you should NOT miss out on Space Invaders Extreme.

Or its sequel that I just completely forgot about entirely. Whoops. (There’s not much of a difference honestly. Some new songs, backgrounds, bosses, etc.)

#11. Shadows of the Damned (PS3, X360/Commentary by Wind)



Oh, Suda 51. One of my favorite developers. You may know him for games like…. Killer 7? Lollipop Chainsaw? Uh… Oh, No More Heroes is a pretty popular franchise, you may know him for that. Well, Shadows of the Damned is just as insane as all of those games. And it is just as obscure as them as well. What are the odds? Anyway, Shadows of the Damned is about a demon hunter named Garcia Hotspur, whose girlfriend is taken to the demon world by the demon king to be killed over and over again. Now, Garcia travels into the demon world along with his sidekick and deadly demon hunting pistol, Johnson (A subtle penis joke), which can be made into other weapons like Monoussioner, Teether, and The Boner (A not so subtle penis joke). This game is both very creepy, but also stupidly fun at the same time (Then again, aren’t all Suda 51 games?) This is also a game that uses quite a lot of puzzles. Which is odd, considering that Suda 51 is all about quick action and nothing but. That is what makes Shadows of the Damned interesting. It doesn’t send you in to fight enemies all willy nilly. You gotta take your time and solve the damn puzzle. And if you wanna get the health you need by shooting the goat head coming from the wall, you’d better solve the puzzle…….. That sentence makes a lot more sense if you play the game, trust me.

#10. Anything By Popcap (Usually PC, Various Consoles/Commentary by Jared)



Feeding Frenzy, Heavy Weapon, Zuma, Astro Pop, Insaniquarium, Chuzzle, Peggle, THE LIST NEVER ENDS. Hell, I think Popcap’s only REALLY successful games are Bejeweled and Plants VS Zombies.

Never before has there been such a ridiculously underrated game company than there was with Popcap. I’ve been playing their games practically all my life and not ONCE did I ever think “This is boring”.

Seriously guys, play anything, ANYTHING by Popcap, and you’ll know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. And although this company does make a lot of money (100 Million as of 2010!), more often than not it’s because of PVZ or Bejeweled.

And although I do love both of those series, I still wish a lot of their other games were much bigger hits.

Soooo…. That’s it. Play Popcap. It’s fun. Seriously.

Seriously.

#9. Deadly Premonition (PS3, X360, Windows/Commentary by Wind)



This is a game that was so unheard of, that the only way you will ever know about it are incredibly low scores on game review websites. Sadly, this game has such bad reviews because the graphics look like a PS2 game despite being released in 2010. But, like I said, we don’t judge games here. The game follows Francis York Morgan, a detective who investigates the murders in the town of Greenville, Washington, while being pursued by a psychotic killer named The Raincoat Killer, who only kills during the rain. The game is another unknown psychological horror game, like the Suffering, and just like The Suffering, this game managed to get a sequel…. Which was also unheard of. You are to investigate the murder between the normal world and the Other World, with the Other World having dangerous monsters lurking around wanting to kill you. In the real world, you need to manage sleep and hunger, and you also need to dress well (You’re a cop after all). And what I like best about this game is that the NPC’s all behave like normal people, following a similar routine each day, and can be interacted with and be different each time. This ain’t like Grand Theft Auto or Skyrim where every NPC is just a lifeless moving creature. They actually have real lives in Deadly Premonition. So, for once, ignore all the critics on the internet, and try this game out if you're a horror fan.

#8. Xevious 3D/G+ (PS1/Commentary by Jared)



You know, Xevious has always been one of my favorite arcade classics, and anyone who’s played the game would certainly see why. It had great graphics, good music, accurate controls, and one of the trolliest boss fights since…. Well, ever at the time.

And when I found out that there was a completely remastered remake of the game on the PS1, I must’ve thrown MYSELF out of the goddamn window. But even then, I didn’t think it would be so…. so…. INCREDIBLE.

It’s kind of like the Q*bert PS1 game in the sense that EVERYTHING was given a complete overhaul. You get your new weapons, power-ups, 3D graphics, more boss fights, and even more to everything that made the original Xevious great.

Namco took an already great game and made it into one of the COOLEST fucking space shooters I’ve ever seen in my life, seriously. The amount of hours I’ve spent playing this game exceeds that of fucking DRAGON WARRIOR.

And although there’s not too much to talk about because in reality, it’s just another remake. But JESUS CHRIST is it a damn good one, and I’d love for Sony to put this on the PSN one day.

Hey, a man can hope, right?

#7. ObsCure (PS2, Windows, Xbox/Commentary by Wind)



Wow, what an ironic name. This game was known as Obscure, and just like the game itself, it soon became obscure, and now lies at the bottom of a Walmart bargain bin. Anyway, ObsCure is about a group of five high school students finding out that their friends and classmates are being turned into terrifying creatures in the school overnight and they need to find out what is causing them all to turn. Now, what makes this horror game interesting is that it is actually two player. Yeah, you may complain because Dead Space 3 did the same thing, but trust me, this is so much more fun, as it’s nice to have a friend in the same room with you (Yeah, remember when co-op and multiplayer games had the other player in the same room. What is this, the sixth generation?) This game also lets you combine a flashlight to a firearm, so you don’t have to worry about switching them out every five seconds (YOU HEAR THAT, DOOM 3!?) This game also has permanent character death, so if any of your friends die, they stay dead… Forever! All you can do is keep marching on and hope that no one else dies. So, basically, it’s like the horror equivalent of Fire Emblem. And yes, ObsCure did get a sequel, and yes, it is just as unheard of as this game… Go figure.

#6. Pong: The Next Level (PS1/Commentary by Jared)



Huh. Another remake. At this point you might as well call me the remake man.

PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT COMMENTERS.

Anyways, another classic game that got upgraded in literally every fucking way was Pong: The Next Level for the PS1. But unlike the other remakes on this list, this is probably the most amazing one.

We get COUNTLESS creativity and design from this game, composing of 8 different and uniquely made 3D zones of pure epicness. Each level has it’s own special gimmick to it as well, allowing for EVERY fucking level to be as unique as possible.

For example, one match could be on ice, making your paddles more slippery, but on another level the goal could be guarded by a shield. This is just a tiny FRACTION of the endless creativity this game has to offer.

They took Pong, one of the most BASIC games ever created, and transformed it into something REALLY worthwhile.

And it’s on the PSN as well, so there’s NO excuse to why this game fell into obscurity. Oh well, at least I’M having fun with it.

#5. Brutal Legend (PS3, X360, Windows, Linux, Mac OS/Commentary by Wind)



Oh, Tim Schafer. Despite your incredibly dim-witted and offensive joke at GDC and deservingly lost a whole lot of respect from me, you still make wonderful games. And they are all so damn obscure. Psychonauts, Grim Fandango, and easily the most unheard of, Brutal Legend. How underrated is this game? Well, I found in a dollar store right behind Attack of the Movies 3D… Yeah… it’s THAT underrated. Brutal Legend follows a metal roadie named Eddie Riggs (Voiced by Jack Black of all people), as he ends up in the world made of metal and now fights alongside a rebellious army to save the world of metal from a dangerous army of monsters. This game has quite a lot of famous musicians voicing the game’s characters. Ozzy Osbourne voices the games merchant for crying out loud. And Lemmy Kilmister is also a voice in this game (God rest that beautiful man). When you have Richard Steven Horvitz, the voice of Invader Zim and Raz from Psychonauts as an incredibly minor character voice, you know the list of voices must be good. This game definitely feels like a Schafer game and I love it. The world of metal is quite a sight to behold, what with all the landmarks and enemies basically being based on metal album covers. There’s quite a lot of work put into this game, and I am happy for that.

#4. Megaman Battle & Chase (PS1, PS2, Gamecube/Commentary by Jared)



This kart racer is my all-time favorite, hands down. Suck on THAT Mario Kart.

But in all seriousness, this is one of the most insanely underknown racing games ever made. And that makes no sense at all because it’s SO GOOD.

Sure, the graphics aren’t the BEST, there’s some BS moments in the game’s story, AND DON’T EVEN GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON HOW PRECISE YOU HAVE TO BE TO GET A ROCKET START. GAME GIVES YOU A FIFTH OF A SPLIT SECOND AND FLIPS YOU OFF AFTERWARDS.

But everything else I found VERY fun, and there’s a lot of cool stuff to this game that other kart racers WISHED they had.

For instance, not only can you pick from a wide variety of characters, but each one has their own COMPLETELY unique traits, as well a special power that only they possess. These activate because of the kart’s parts.

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A SLICK RHYME! I HAVE GOT TO WRITE THAT DOWN HOLD ON….

(BUY MY MIXTAPE)

Anywho…. A REALLY cool thing about this game is whenever you beat a character, you get to take a part off of their car, whether it be an engine, tires, a wing, or when you have all their parts already, THE ENTIRE FUCKING VEHICLE. (This lets you use their special powers.)

This allows for INSANE customization that no kart racer at the time had, and I still think that even in 2016 that there’s no kart racer out there as diverse as this game.

You can have a car that goes faster on dirt but slower on-road with AMAZING acceleration that also completely ignores mines, you could have a car that shoots daggers as their weapon while also having a wing that blocks incoming shots while ignoring deceleration zones, the customization for this game is practically ENDLESS.

What can possibly be more underrated than this game? Well, we still have three more entries left. ;D

#3. Shadow of Memories (PS2, PSP, Windows, Xbox/Commentary by Wind)



Oh Konami……….. Go to hell. Anyway, we all know Konami for screwing over Kojima and their co-workers and now only make goddamn Pachinko machines instead of real video games, but what do I know? I’m not a goddamn businessman. Who cares what the fans what? But in all seriousness, Konami, despite being the devil, has made some impressive games over the years, like Metal Gear Solid, Castlevania, Silent Hill, Contra, and a bunch of games in the past. But with all these awesome games that everyone knows and loves, there is one game that is… well, not so well known. That game being Shadow of Memories, or Shadow of Destiny in North America. The game follows a man named Eike Kusch, who is killed at the beginning of the game, but is revived by a spirit named Homunculus, who gives Eike the ability to travel back in time to prevent his murder and find the man who killed him. This is probably the least action oriented game on here, as there is no fighting, and Eike has no health bar. You need to interact with people and places in each timeline in order to find clues. However, if you do something in the past, things will change in future timelines. You also have two different clocks. One for the world you are in, and the one Eike was in. If Eike dies while he is in the present, the game resets. But, if he dies anywhere else, the game ends, resulting in different endings of this game. This game is only for PC, and PS2 in America, with an Xbox version only being released in Europe. It’s hard to find, but definitely worth finding.

#2. Astro Avenger 2 and Star Defender 4 (PC/Commentary by Jared)



BEHOLD, TWO OF THE MOST AMAZING AND MAJESTICALLY UNDERKNOWN SPACE-SHOOTERS OF ALL TIME. BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID, OR ELSE THOSE ANNOYING SNAKE FUCKERS IN Q*BERT WILL HUNT YOU DOWN.

“I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHER-FUCKING SNAKES IN THIS MOTHER-FUCKING GAME!” -Q*bert 2016

That gag will never die. =D

But anyways, onto the shooters. First off, Astro Avenger 2. It’s an upwards auto-scrolling space shooter with a large variety of unique weapons, rockets, and ships. It’s a very linear game, but trust me when I say that’s the ONLY thing I don’t like about it. Everything else was nailed like a fucking bulls-eye.

I LOVE the soundtrack, I LOVE the weapons, the graphics look GREAT for its year, and holy FUCK those boss health bars should be a meme in of themselves because they’re FUCKING TERRIFYING.

IT’S LIKE SIX MILES LONG! WHAT THE SHIT!?

Also, I’m giving the award of Best Soundtrack In A Space Shooter to Astro Avenger 2, seriously. The music in this game was so well done, I absolutely love it. Even if the first game had the fucking awesomeness that was this theme: link

And that’s Astro Avenger 2. It’s great. Fucking play it. XD

Now onto Star Defender 4, a non-scrolling space shooter in which your ship moves left and right at the bottom of the screen, shooting up the aliens that WANT YOUR ASS ON THE MOTHER-FUCKING ROTISSERIE.

I guess spaceship soup is popular with the aliens these days, huh. I wonder if they liked Space Burgers from the Chicken Invaders series.

Some of the pros of this game is the REALLY interesting weapons system, a wide variety of side-weapons, a stage select in which you can replay any of the planets you’ve already beaten, a great soundtrack, and some AMAZING fucking boss fights.

Also worth noting is the difficulty, holy hell. I just replayed the game recently a bit for this article and those FUCKING SAW ENEMIES on the sixth planet are STILL kicking my ass, even after all these years.

CURSE YOU DINKLEBERG! (And no, Dinkleberg is obviously not the villain of this game. Although it would be goddamned hilarious if he was.)

And that’s Star Defender 4. For a space shooter, it’s SO well developed and I have fond memories of playing the SHIT out of this game as a kid.

If you own a PC, give these space shooters a try. For what they’re worth, they’re INCREDIBLY well made. Certainly give em’ a go if you like shooting shit.

[b]And now.... Some honorable mentions. =)


Jared's Pick: It was a close tie between Metal Torrent for the DSi Shop/Eshop and Blackhawk Striker 2 for the PC, but I'm picking BS2 because I have a lot of memories of me and my father playing this game. You can pick one of three COMPLETELY different choppers, the music is amazing, and the boss fights are something fucking else.

Wind's Pick: Resident Evil Deadly Silence is basically the first Resident Evil but for handheld. Other than Gaiden, this was one of the Resident Evil games I had for handheld, and this one was obviously better. It's nice to play a horror game on a handheld, they aren't made that much. Also, there is a fun multiplayer mode, so that's a plus.

#1. 999: Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors (DS/Commentary by Wind)



Easily one of the most criminally underrated games ever, 999 follows nine different characters, as they are forced to participate in a game ran by a man named Zero. The characters are Junpei, a college students. June, a nervous girl. Akane, a friend of Junpei. Lotus, a women of unknown skills. Seven, a large man. Santa, a punk with an attitude. Ace, a wise man. Snake, a man with a huge ego. Clover, a girl with mood swings. And 9th Man, an unknown man who fidgets a lot. They are all trapped on the Gigantic, the sister to the Titanic. They soon find out they they have been kidnapped, and now need to solve a series of puzzles in order to find the door marked with the number 9 on it within nine hours before the ship sinks. This game is also not forgiving at all. You and many characters will die in this game if you are not careful. And if any character dies, you will never get the true ending…. Well, you wouldn’t get it anyway unless you got a different ending. However, these aren’t too bad, as these bad endings always give you hints on how to get to other endings. So all is not lost, thankfully. You need to make sure you are a master puzzle solver for a game like this, because this game does not forgive mistakes. This is like Dark Souls level of forgiving…. Okay, maybe not that bad, but the point is, don’t screw up. This game doesn’t let mistakes go. All I can say is that this game is an amazing story game that many should play if they own a DS. And if you need more proof as to how obscure this game was… Well, it was a commercial failure in its home country of Japan, only selling over 30,000 copies… Yeah…. 999 is an incredibly underrated game, and is a game that needs more attention, because it definitely deserves it.

Jared: And that's it guys! Hope you enjoy reading, and don't forget to tune in next time for our Top 10 Hottest Anime Babes! ;D

Wind: Jared, you better start running. Right. Now.

Wikipedia: Uhh, Jared? You want me to hold the door open for you? o___O

*Tumbleweed Rolls*

Wind: Damn it, that kid runs fast. Oh well, I'll just have to torture you instead, Wikipedia.

Wikipedia: JARED YOU SON OF A BI-

(Thanks for reading, seriously. XD)
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