fourth chapter...very sad...=[ enjoy

4. Goodbye’s

Ms. Cope and Alice were gone a very long time. Some part of me said to worry, but that part was being overshadowed by the part that told me Alice could take care of them both. I was having a good time sitting and talking with Leah. She wasn’t as mean as I thought. She was actually pretty…cool. When Alice and Ms. Cope finally did come back to the classroom, (Ms. Cope smelling strongly of vomit), they saw us sitting on the floor laughing at the story Leah just told me, about Jacob thinking about me naked when talking to Sam, and Sam finally got so fed up he bit Jacob on the nose. Alice’s eyes widened in either shock or disgust, I was too busy laughing to tell.
The bells rang, loud and shrill as always. We got off the floor still chuckling, and headed for the door.
“Hey Bella?” I turned and saw Leah hesitating by the door.
“What’s up Leah?”
She shifted her weight from foot to foot nervously. “Well…me and Emily are going to Port Angeles tomorrow night, if you want to come, you’re more than welcome.” She glanced up at me from underneath her eye-lashes.
I heard Alice take a step towards me from behind my back. I ignored her. “That would be great! Um, I’ll call you to set it up?” I added uncertainly.
Leah smiled and nodded before she headed out the door.
Alice was suddenly at my side. “Ready to go?” she asked me in a subdued voice. Her expression was so serene, that I just nodded trying to be nonchalant.
We headed out of building 6 and we saw Edward standing motionlessly against the side of the building. He didn’t speak as we hopped into the car. As he reversed, I caught sight of Jacob and the other guys looking as is they were having an argument with Leah. I caught her eye, and she grinned and waved. I poked my tongue out at her then smiled. She laughed as Jacob turned to see what she was looking at. The expression on my face must have been something to see…or think about. Because when he saw my face, a smile flashed briefly across his face and as that happened, Edward turned to stare at me, with a taken aback expression on his face, his mouth open slightly. He exchanged a glance with Alice in the front seat, before speeding always too fast down the serpentine lane.
We pulled up the Alice’s drop off zone as she called it, and she hopped out of the car. She smiled half-heartedly at me and waved, but not before she shot a sharp look at Edward, who said something to fast for my ears to hear. She turned and ran into the thicket surrounding the Cullen’s cavernous house.
We did not leave at first, as I we usually did.
“Why don’t you sit next to me?” he suggested, turning to smile at me. I just nodded and opened the door and hopped in the front seat. As soon as I was in and my seat belt was on, he grabbed my hand, hit the locks and accelerator in the same instant and headed the wrong way back to my house.
“Where are we going?” I was starting to feel uneasy. Edward never acted like this. He would never take me anywhere against my will, which I think is why he didn’t answer. If he told me where we were going, and I didn’t like it, he wouldn’t make me go.
It started raining heavily, making looking out of the windscreen impossible for me. Edward seemed to have no problem with it; I guess that super cool vampire sight can see through anything.
We drove past a sign, but I couldn’t read what it said through the downpour. We had been driving in silence for about 10 minutes before I snapped.
“Where the hell are we going?!” I screamed at him. I hate surprises and he knows that, but the fact that he was driving in silence, and leaving in a few days and wouldn’t tell me when he would get back, wasn’t improving my mood. All this coupled with the fact that I was starving and tired didn’t exactly put me in a good mood.
He looked at me out the corner of his. There was a slight tightening around his pupils as he answered, “We’re going to see Jacob and the rest of the pack.”
I gasped. He turned and stared at me full on now. I could see that he wasn’t happy having me so close to werewolves, but it looked like he didn’t have a choice.
“Why?” I could feel the astonished expression on my face, so I tried to rearrange my features to a more neutral setting.
He sighed, and the car slowed. I looked out the window and didn’t see anything that reminded me of La Push. Just trees and other shrubbery.
“Sam needs to speak with me about some details before we leave. Carlisle, Jasper and Emmet are meeting us there, but he also wants to talk to you.”
I was so confused. What details need to be discussed? And why in the world would Sam wanna talk to me? My head was spinning. I needed to eat something and lie down, but if Sam wanted to talk to me, I had to go.
“Jacob wants to talk to you as well.” Edward added conversationally, but I new his voice so well I could hear a subtle edge behind his words. My heart picked up a beat. Jacob was finally gonna talk to me. After weeks of ignoring my phone calls and not meeting my eyes, he was finally going to talk to me. The joy was quickly replaced by fear. What if he had nothing nice to say? What if he told me that I was a bad person who he never wanted to talk to again? The pain I felt through me as I thought of that possibility was almost tangible.
Edward put his hand on my face and made me face him. He wiped his thumb over my left cheek, and I felt wetness just under his finger. I hadn’t known I was crying. Since when did I cry so much?
“It’s going to be okay, Bella.” He murmured silkily. I just nodded mutely. It couldn’t be okay if he was gone. Nothing would be okay. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close as he continued driving. We drove in silence for a while, before he pulled over again. The rain had soothed to just a fine mist, so I was able to make out the car park to First Beach, my favorite hang out when I came here when Edward was gone last time. Edward got out and opened my door in almost the same instant. I got out looking anywhere but his face. He grabbed my face in his hands again, making me look at his properly. His face was tortured. He pulled my face towards his and he kissed me. This kiss didn’t frighten me like the last one had. I was expecting it this time. He pushed me away gently, grabbed my arms and flung me over his back and ran.
There was no joy and exultation in his run as there usually was. He was just as sad as I was. Maybe more.
I saw a flash of white on my left and on my right as Japer and Emmet joined us; I guessed that Carlisle was already with the pack.
This made my heart beat uncomfortably.
Edward slowed to a walk, as did Emmet and Jasper. I hadn’t seen them in over a week and right now was not the best time. I let go of Edward and fell to the ground. I huffed as I landed on my tailbone, and tried to get up. Emmet started chortling. I shot him a murderous glance which shut him up real fast. I was laughing on the inside. I hadn’t seen anyone other than Rosalie shut Emmet up before and she was the scariest person I’d ever seen. Edward held out his hand to help me up, I ignored it and pushed myself off the ground. I was seriously pissed now, and his courteous manner wasn’t helping.
I noticed Jasper looking at from the corner of my eye, he was edging slightly further away from me. Huh, I guess my emotions must be stronger than I’d imagined.
Emmet and Jasper led the way through a small opening in the trees as Edward and I followed in silence. This was going to be bad. I could feel it as the silence lengthened. Edward moved a low hanging branch out of my way.
“Thank you.” I tried to sound calm and nonchalant, but I guess he saw through me as he pulled me into a hug, slightly tighter than he usually did. We walked through the remainder of the trees still in silence, but this time I was hugging Edward, and that seemed to make it better.
A little.
We went through the little opening and I almost ran into Jasper. They were standing just outside the opening, not daring to move any further. Edward pulled us forward to stand in between Emmet and Jasper. We went and stood next to Carlisle who was just looking at the wolves.
Except, they weren’t in there wolf forms. I gasped. They hardly ever…no scratch that…they never talk to the Cullen’s in their human form. I exhaled a big gust. How long had I been holding my breath?
Sam looked at me, his face was expressionless. Carlisle looked at Edward, as did I. I saw him nod at Carlisle, not taking his eyes off Jacob, who was glaring at Edward from his position next to Sam.
Carlisle took a hesitant step forward, towards the wolves. Sam did the same.
“Hello, Sam.” Carlisle had such a soothing tone, it was overwhelming. Sam nodded his eyes still on me.
“May I ask, what you wanted to discuss with us?”
Sam’s eyes grudgingly moved to Carlisle. “We need to discuss some information about tomorrow.”
My heart skipped a beat. Tomorrow? They were leaving tomorrow?
Edward rubbed soothing patterns on my arm. I tried to control my breathing.
“What do you need to know?” Carlisle asked politely.
I looked up at the rest of the wolves and saw that there were only a few of them there. Jacob, Paul, Jared, Quil, Embry, Seth and Leah. When I caught eyes with Leah, she smiled at me timidly. I tried to do the same, but all I managed was a weak grimace.
“When and where do we meet you?” Sam’s voice sounded gruff with emotion. He didn’t want to go either.
Edward spoke before Carlisle had the chance.
“Here, at around five o’clock.” His voice sounded bitter. I heard Emmet start to say something behind me, but Jasper said, “I wouldn’t Emmet.”
I turned to stare at him. He was looking at me apprehensively. My mood must be bad.
But as usual Emmet didn’t listen.
“We should really leave tonight. It would get us a better head start.” He said this with so much excitement, I felt sick. I wanted so badly to hurt him. To be strong enough to hurt him. I felt angry tears fill my eyes, blurring my vision. I closed my eyes and counted to 10. If I tried to hurt Emmet, I would just hurt myself. Edward growled and half turned towards Emmet. Carlisle raced over and put his hand on Edwards shoulder restraining him.
But Edward wasn’t the only one growling.
I looked over and saw Sam, Jacob, Jared and Quil’s arms shaking simultaneously. They weren’t thrilled about leaving either. Sam, Jared and Quil all had the girls they had imprinted on here, and they didn’t want to leave them, but they had too. Jacob must not be happy about leaving me unprotected.
“We will leave tomorrow, as planned.” Carlisle ordered in s final tone. Emmet saw the looks on everyone’s faces and back tracked quickly, staring at his feet.
“Okay,” Sam was trying to calm himself, shaking his head back in forth, trying to clear it. “Here tomorrow at five o’clock.”
I felt dizzy, I swayed uneasily. Edward clutched me close trying to steady me.
“I should get you home. Your exhausted.” He started to pull me away when Sam called, “Wait a sec,” he was staring at me again.
It was silent.
“Yeah Sam?” I mumbled almost silently.
“As you know, Leah must have told you,” he shot a glance behind him at Leah who nodded. “Emily isn’t happy with the fact that I’m leaving, and I’ve asked Leah and Seth to stay behind to take care of her and the other imprinted…I was wondering if, whether…you could, you know, convince her to forgive me when I get home. It will literally kill me if she doesn’t. You’re the only one she will probably listen to Bella, Leah’s tried, but she doesn’t want to talk to Leah about that…”he glanced at Leah again whose face was like a stone.
“I’m asking this as a favor. Please.” He stared at me and the pain was obvious on his face.
I nodded.
“I’ll do what I can, Sam. But I’m not making any promises.”
He looked relieved, that I had at least promised to try. Jacob stepped out of the line of wolves.
“Bella, can I talk to you please?” a hint of pleading in his voice.
I nodded curiosity burning through the numbness about to consume me. He shook his head.
“In private?” I glanced up at Edward, as did Carlisle, Emmet and Jasper. His eyes were unfocussed, and he looked confused. Very slowly he nodded. I took a steady step forward to make sure I wouldn’t loose my balance. I was fine.
For now.
Jacob led the way behind the line of wolves and I could feel Edwards tension rolling through the air. He didn’t like the idea of me being so close to werewolves.
As I passed her, Leah grabbed my hand. I looked up from the floor and smiled at her. She nodded encouragingly and let me go. We walked in silence for a while until Jacob stopped abruptly.
He turned slowly to face me. Sadness was shown on every feature of his face.
“Bella…” he was staring at the ground, so it made his words hard to hear. “Bella, I don’t want to go before I tell you something and its kind of important…” he trailed to a stop. I remained silent. He glanced up to look at my face.
I didn’t know what my face felt like. It felt cold, and hollow.
He lurched forward and pulled me into a bear hug that lifted me off the ground. I hugged him back, missing our friendship. He put me down and let me go, but keeping his hands on my shoulders. He leaned down so his eyes were at my level. “Bella,” he said in a strong, fierce voice.
“I love you. I will always love you, and when I come back, I want you to pick me. I know that he loves you and you love him, but I also know that you love me, whether you know it or not, and I’m not giving up without a fight. You probably don’t want to hear this right now, because we’re both leaving tomorrow, but I didn’t want you thinking that you were alone and unloved while I’m away.” His voice was so strong and clear, it made my head sway.
“Think about it Bella. Think about the life we could have…” his eyes were boring into mine with such intensity; I started to feel even dizzier. “We could have kids, get married…think of all the things I could do with you that he can’t!”
I just stared at him, my eyes popping out of my skull. I couldn’t believe he was saying this. Why did he have to say this now? Why did he have to do it at all? This hurt just as bad as Edward leaving. It felt as if my heart was shattering into thousands of tiny pieces. I started to shake my head trying to clear it and to stop the oncoming tears. Jacob, however seemed to think it was in refusal. He grabbed my chin while I was trying to clear it. “Until your heart stops beating Bella, I will love you. Never ever forget that.”
I just stared at him, not sure if my voice could work, when Jakes jerked up straight, he grabbed my arms and flung me over his back, before he ran full ball towards the clearing. We burst through the trees and saw the wolves standing on one side of the gap, nervously, looking towards the Cullen boys. My heart stopped for a second before I realized that Edward stood straight and tall, facing the wolves with a look of horror in his eyes. I let go of Jake and moved forward. A heard a sharp cry of pain, so I stopped in my tracks.
Behind Edward, Carlisle and Emmet were leaning over something. I looked harder and I saw that it was Jasper.
He was on the floor, rocking back and forth clearly in agony. My breathing went ragged. What happened? Had they fought? Did Jasper get hurt?
Jaspers breathing steadied, and he looked up from the floor and at me. I met his horrified gaze with my own.
“Jasper!” the panic in Carlisle’s voice was tangible. “Jasper, son what happened?”
Emmet moved in front of them, looking sort of like a body guard in the process.
“B-B-Bella…” his whisper was almost silent. My body froze. What had I done? The wolves behind me, mumbled in confusion. Edward looked from Jaspers agonized face to my horror struck one.
A look of recognition flashed across Carlisle’s face, he glanced at Edward, and then he glanced at me, pity and sorrow in his eyes. Edwards’s mouth popped open a little, then he slumped to the floor. I took an unsteady step forward, towards him, when Emmet was in my face. I gasped and jumped back.
“What happened?” Sam ordered. “What did Bella have to do with it?”
I glanced behind me and noticed that Jacob, Sam and Leah had all moved closer on Emmet’s advance.
“Jasper feels the emotions surrounding a person, that’s his gift…” Carlisle explained quietly, still looking at me. “The pain he just experienced was greater than anything he had felt before…” there was sadness in his voice. Emmet looked behind him at Jasper, then back to me; a look of dawning comprehension broke across his face. He took a step back, and then went to sit by Edward. He put an arm across his shoulders in a brotherly way.
“And?!” Jacob demanded angrily.
“The pain you just saw him experience…was Bella’s.” My jaw dropped. I had done this to Jasper. My pain, the pain I tried so hard to hide, had broken through Jaspers surface, for everyone to see.
I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. Someone took a step forward behind me, and I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw Leah, tears in her eyes, trying to reassure me.
“I’m so s-s-sorry…Bella.” Jasper whispered. I shot a frantic glance at him, then one at Edward, who looked as if he were burning at the stake.
My breath came out in ragged gasps. Me head was spinning sickeningly; the forest was vibrating around me. There were several calls of “Bella!” as I began to fall to the ground, when a pair of warm hands caught me.
It was quiet then. The quietness of unconsciousness. It was peaceful in a weird way. I could feel people touching me, my forehead, my arms, but I was too out of it to pay much attention to it.
I knew when I was getting carried back to the car. I could feel the wind blowing across my face, lashing my hair across my shoulders. The pair of warm arms got replaced by cold as I was placed in the backseat of the car. I was to peaceful to even try to open my eyes. I felt a pillow under my head, and I realized I must be at home. Strange. I could hear arguing outside my door, but it didn’t make sense; there were no words, just a series of noise running after each other.
I could feel myself waking up, and longed for the peace again. The words made more sense now.
“What do you mean, you’re leaving?” it was Charlie. He sounded pretty mad.
“We have to go visit some family members in Alaska for a couple of weeks, one of them is really ill, and this maybe our last shot to see him.” Carlisle’s voice was calm, but there was a bitter edge underneath his manner.
“How long will you be gone? Or are you not coming back?” Charlie lost some of his anger because of the explanation, but there was still a hint of irritation in there.
“Of course we’re coming back, we have a life here. Esme and I have work, Alice and Edward has school and Edward has Bella. We wouldn’t be leaving at all if we had no other choice, but this is family, and we take care of our family.”
Charlie spluttered. He was shocked to hear Carlisle’s bitter tone.
“Now, we will be back in about three to four weeks. We will keep in contact with Bella as much as we can; we don’t want a re-run of what happened last time.” There was a moving sound outside the door, like someone shuffling there feet. Edward I presumed.
“Uh-huh, and what about you Jake?” I could hear Charlie turn to Jacob. He must have come with the Cullen’s.
“You and your friends are going where exactly?”
“There’s a camp just outside Arizona, they teach Native American kids about the heritage, me and the guys volunteered ages ago, and I forgot about until Sam brought it up the other day.” Jacobs’s voice was clear and direct, almost as if he’d practiced saying them before.
“We’ll be gone roughly the same time as the uh…Cullen’s here.” That was a new voice. Sam Uley’s voice. “Leah and Seth are staying behind, and they’ve offered to keep her company. She’ll be fine Charlie.”
No she won’t. I wouldn’t be okay. As long as they were gone, and I was here, nothing in my life will be fine. The realization that they were going hit me harder than a boulder in a landslide. I cried out in pain. The door opened and I heard several footsteps come into my room. Thankfully I wasn’t full conscious yet. A cold hand was on my forehead.
“She’s still out of it.” Carlisle’s voice was concerned, but still professional at the same time.
“Carlisle, we have to go.” Emmet’s voice shocked me. I hadn’t known he was there. “Our plane leaves in an hour.”
My heart skipped a beat. How long have I been out? They said their plane leaves in an hour. I must have been unconscious for the rest of yesterday and all day today. I wasted so much time. I had to wake up, I have to say goodbye.
Carlisle sighed. “Your right. We have to go Edward. If you guys still want a ride to the airport, we’d better leave now.”
Carlisle squeezed my arm. “Bye Bella.” He whispered softly.
“Cya Bella! When you wake up call us!” Emmet. Never put down in a mood.
“Bye Bella. Thanks again.” Sam whispered in my ear, before patting my shoulder.
“I’ll walk you to the door guys.” Charlie had calmed down, now he was being hospitable.
“I’ll just be a minute Chief Swan.” Edwards’s soft voice was by my bed.
“Yeah, Charlie, I’ll be right down.” I heard Charlie and the others walk down the stairs.
“Bella? Bella, honey, can you hear me?” Edwards’s voice was full of misery. “Please Bella, wake up. Please.”
I stirred, trying to wake up. I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, and to be careful, but I couldn’t.
“Edward, she’s not going to wake up, she can’t hear us.” Jacobs’s voice was just as sad. “We have to go.”
I felt something wet fall on my forehead, then I felt a pair of warm lips on my forehead. “Bye, Bells.” He whispered sadly. He pushed himself of the bed and headed to the door. I heard him hesitate, as he waited for Edward to join him.
I felt Edward’s cold, hard lips on my lips. He was sobbing. If he were able to cry, he would be right now. “I love you Bella.” He whispered miserably. “Never forget that. Take care of yourself.” He kissed me again, before he too went to the door. I heard the car door’s slam and I heard Charlie. “Have a good flight you guys!” The cars pulled out of the gravelly drive way and speed down the empty street. With that my eyes snapped open, and I couldn’t control my tears.
Even though they were gone, I still whispered “Goodbye.” They were gone. Who knows how long they’ll be gone? I heard the front door slam shut and the Tv turn on. I curled myself up into a ball and let the misery have me.