part 21

Seth was apologizing frantically for scaring me. The others had frozen. It looked like they felt bad for Seth and were anxious to see my reaction. “Sorry” I muttered. I really was sorry. I wasn’t going to change , but I was sorry. A part of me wanted to reach out my arms and let him swing me, but I didn’t.

Leah came for the last fifteen minutes or so. Talking with her was nice. She at least understood the dangers of vampires. I gradually learned that she and Sam had been in love before Sam had imprinted. I felt bad for her and the story helped me understand her better.

On the drive back to the vampire’s abode, Jacob and Seth were deciding when they wanted to come over the next day. At the house, they decided with Carlisle to come around noon. That night, I realized that I had a knack for walking into rooms unnoticed. Alice even mentioned that visions of me didn’t appear quite as readily as they did with others. Carlisle thought a moment “A reflection of her werewolf capabilities perhaps?” Edward offered another perspective” She makes a lot of split second decisions. More than anyone I’ve ever encountered.

The next mourning, we started experimenting. It was a bit fun. The Cullens wanted to see what I could do. When Bella, Edward and Renesmee were in the room, I could penetrate Bella’s shield and read her thoughts while I was mostly immune to Edward. A few weeks later, when my ribs were healed, we tried things with wolves. The final list was :
1. Alice can see my future when I’m phased, but she sees a human where there’s really a wolf
2. I can read some of the wolves thoughts and they can read most of mine (the connection only occurs at a short distance)
3. Jacob works on me like Sam
4. I’m slower and weaker than the others, but too fast and strong for a human

Seth was vehemently opposed to my phasing just to experiment due to the pain it would cause, but it was easy enough to convince him that pain now could save worse pain later. It was better to know what was happening to me now, in a safe environment, then later when there was real danger. Every time I winced, Seth seemed angry with Jacob. Rather than get angry back, Jacob always seemed repentant. I had no cracked ribs or serious damage.

I could tell hat the wolves were hiding something. This hardly surprised me. Given their mission in life, I would be surprised if they did want to share everything. I tried desperately not to see the secret, picturing a "she knows to much" scenario. Not the ideal situation to be in when giant mutant wolves are involved.

I overheard Edward talking to Carlilse when I walked past Carlisle's study unnoticed I tried to pass quickly, but I caught "She still doesn't trust us or the wolves. She always expects the worst." Carlisle was calm "Can you blame her? She's surrounded by incredible strength. Also I'm not convinced that her past has been full of people worth trusting" Edward sighed "I know. I just wish I didn't have to be around when she pictures us hurting her." Carlisle was sympathetic. "Ask Bella if She wouldn't mind projecting. Its unreasonable to ask her to do it all the time, but if she could give you a break from time to time it might not bother you as much." I had unconscionably stopped trying to to hurry and started trying to hear. "These visions...?" Carlisle asked. The mind reader sighed. "They vary but its always similar: vampire and werewolf strength against her. It's sickening." I walked away.