*by Stephenie Meyer*
TWILIGHT - chapter 14 - MIND OVER MATTER
He reached for the door ahead of me and opened it for me. I paused halfway through the frame.
"The door was unlocked?"
"No, I used the key from under the eave."
I stepped inside, flicked on the porch light, and turned to look at him with my eyebrows raised. I was sure I'd never used that key in front of him.
"I was curious about you."
"You spied on me?" But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered.
He was unrepentant. "What else is there to do at night?"
I let it go for the moment and went down the hall to the kitchen. He was there before me, needing no guide. He sat in the very chair I'd tried to picture him in. His beauty lit up the kitchen. It was a moment before I could look away.
I concentrated on getting my dinner, taking last night's lasagna from the fridge, placing a square on my plate, heating it in the microwave. It revolved, filling the kitchen with the smell of tomatoes and oregano. I didn't take my eyes from the plate of food as I spoke.
"How often?" I asked casually.
"Hmmm?" He sounded as if I had pulled him from some other train of thought.
I still didn't turn around. "How often did you come here?"
"I come here almost every night."
I whirled, stunned. "Why?"
"You're interesting when you sleep." He spoke matter-of-factly. "You talk."
"No!" I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I gripped the kitchen counter for support. I knew I talked in my sleep, of course; my mother teased me about it. I hadn't thought it was something I needed to worry about here, though.
His expression shifted instantly to chagrin. "Are you very angry with me?"
"That depends!" I felt and sounded like I'd had the breath knocked out of me.
He waited.
"On?" he urged.
"What you heard!" I wailed.
Instantly, silently, he was at my side, taking my hands carefully in his.
"Don't be upset!" he pleaded. He dropped his face to the level of my eyes, holding my gaze. I was embarrassed. I tried to look away.
"You miss your mother," he whispered. "You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said, 'It's too green.'" He laughed softly, hoping, I could see, not to offend me further.
"Anything else?" I demanded.
He knew what I was getting at. "You did say my name," he admitted.
I sighed in defeat. "A lot?"
"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"
"Oh no!" I hung my head.
He pulled me against his chest, softly, naturally.
"Don't be self-conscious," he whispered in my ear. "If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it."
Then we both heard the sound of tires on the brick driveway, saw the headlights flash through the front windows, down the hall to us. I stiffened in his arms.
"Should your father know I'm here?" he asked.
"I'm not sure..." I tried to think it through quickly.
"Another time then..."
And I was alone.
"Edward!" I hissed.
I heard a ghostly chuckle, then nothing else.
My father's key turned in the door.
"Bella?" he called. It had bothered me before; who else would it be? Suddenly he didn't seem so far off base.
"In here." I hoped he couldn't hear the hysterical edge to my voice. I grabbed my dinner from the microwave and sat at the table as he walked in. His footsteps sounded so noisy after my day with Edward.
"Can you get me some of that? I'm bushed." He stepped on the heels of his boots to take them off, holding the back of Edward's chair for support.
I took my food with me, scarfing it down as I got his dinner. It burned my tongue. I filled two glasses with milk while his lasagna was heating, and gulped mine to put out the fire. As I set the glass down, I noticed the milk tembling and realized my hand was shaking. Charlie sat in his chair, and the contrast between him and its former occupant was comical.
"Thanks," he said as I placed his food on the table.
"How was your day?" I asked. The words were rushed; I was dying to escape to my room.
"Good. The fish were biting... how about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?"
"Not really - it was too nice out to stay indoors." I took another big bite.
"It was a nice day," he agreed. What an understatement, I thought to myself.
Finished with the last bite of lasagna, I lifted my glass and chugged the remains of my milk.
Charile suprised me by being observant. "In a hurry?"
"Yeah, I'm tired. I'm going to bed early."
"You look kinda keyed up," he noted. Why, oh why, did this have to be his night to pay attention?
"Do I?" was all I could manage in response. I quickly scrubbed my dishes clean in the sink, and placed them upside down on a dish towel to dry.
"It's Saturday," he mused.
I didn't respond.
"No plans tonight?" he asked suddenly.
"No, Dad, I just want to get some sleep."
"None of the boys in town your type, eh?" He was suspicious, but trying to play it cool.
"No, none of the boys have caught my eyes yet." I was careful not to over-emphasize the word boys in my quest to be truthful to Charlie.
"I though maybe that Mike Newton... you said he was friendly."
"He's just a friend, Dad."
"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway. Wait till you get to college to start looking." Every father's dream, that his daughter will be out of the house before the hormones kick in.
"Sounds like a good idea to me," I agreed as I headed up the stairs.
"'Night, honey," he called after me. No doubt he would be listening carefully all evening, waiting for me to try to sneak out.
"See you in the morning, Dad." See you creeping into my room tonight at midnight to check on me.
TWILIGHT - chapter 14 - MIND OVER MATTER
He reached for the door ahead of me and opened it for me. I paused halfway through the frame.
"The door was unlocked?"
"No, I used the key from under the eave."
I stepped inside, flicked on the porch light, and turned to look at him with my eyebrows raised. I was sure I'd never used that key in front of him.
"I was curious about you."
"You spied on me?" But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered.
He was unrepentant. "What else is there to do at night?"
I let it go for the moment and went down the hall to the kitchen. He was there before me, needing no guide. He sat in the very chair I'd tried to picture him in. His beauty lit up the kitchen. It was a moment before I could look away.
I concentrated on getting my dinner, taking last night's lasagna from the fridge, placing a square on my plate, heating it in the microwave. It revolved, filling the kitchen with the smell of tomatoes and oregano. I didn't take my eyes from the plate of food as I spoke.
"How often?" I asked casually.
"Hmmm?" He sounded as if I had pulled him from some other train of thought.
I still didn't turn around. "How often did you come here?"
"I come here almost every night."
I whirled, stunned. "Why?"
"You're interesting when you sleep." He spoke matter-of-factly. "You talk."
"No!" I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I gripped the kitchen counter for support. I knew I talked in my sleep, of course; my mother teased me about it. I hadn't thought it was something I needed to worry about here, though.
His expression shifted instantly to chagrin. "Are you very angry with me?"
"That depends!" I felt and sounded like I'd had the breath knocked out of me.
He waited.
"On?" he urged.
"What you heard!" I wailed.
Instantly, silently, he was at my side, taking my hands carefully in his.
"Don't be upset!" he pleaded. He dropped his face to the level of my eyes, holding my gaze. I was embarrassed. I tried to look away.
"You miss your mother," he whispered. "You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said, 'It's too green.'" He laughed softly, hoping, I could see, not to offend me further.
"Anything else?" I demanded.
He knew what I was getting at. "You did say my name," he admitted.
I sighed in defeat. "A lot?"
"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"
"Oh no!" I hung my head.
He pulled me against his chest, softly, naturally.
"Don't be self-conscious," he whispered in my ear. "If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it."
Then we both heard the sound of tires on the brick driveway, saw the headlights flash through the front windows, down the hall to us. I stiffened in his arms.
"Should your father know I'm here?" he asked.
"I'm not sure..." I tried to think it through quickly.
"Another time then..."
And I was alone.
"Edward!" I hissed.
I heard a ghostly chuckle, then nothing else.
My father's key turned in the door.
"Bella?" he called. It had bothered me before; who else would it be? Suddenly he didn't seem so far off base.
"In here." I hoped he couldn't hear the hysterical edge to my voice. I grabbed my dinner from the microwave and sat at the table as he walked in. His footsteps sounded so noisy after my day with Edward.
"Can you get me some of that? I'm bushed." He stepped on the heels of his boots to take them off, holding the back of Edward's chair for support.
I took my food with me, scarfing it down as I got his dinner. It burned my tongue. I filled two glasses with milk while his lasagna was heating, and gulped mine to put out the fire. As I set the glass down, I noticed the milk tembling and realized my hand was shaking. Charlie sat in his chair, and the contrast between him and its former occupant was comical.
"Thanks," he said as I placed his food on the table.
"How was your day?" I asked. The words were rushed; I was dying to escape to my room.
"Good. The fish were biting... how about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?"
"Not really - it was too nice out to stay indoors." I took another big bite.
"It was a nice day," he agreed. What an understatement, I thought to myself.
Finished with the last bite of lasagna, I lifted my glass and chugged the remains of my milk.
Charile suprised me by being observant. "In a hurry?"
"Yeah, I'm tired. I'm going to bed early."
"You look kinda keyed up," he noted. Why, oh why, did this have to be his night to pay attention?
"Do I?" was all I could manage in response. I quickly scrubbed my dishes clean in the sink, and placed them upside down on a dish towel to dry.
"It's Saturday," he mused.
I didn't respond.
"No plans tonight?" he asked suddenly.
"No, Dad, I just want to get some sleep."
"None of the boys in town your type, eh?" He was suspicious, but trying to play it cool.
"No, none of the boys have caught my eyes yet." I was careful not to over-emphasize the word boys in my quest to be truthful to Charlie.
"I though maybe that Mike Newton... you said he was friendly."
"He's just a friend, Dad."
"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway. Wait till you get to college to start looking." Every father's dream, that his daughter will be out of the house before the hormones kick in.
"Sounds like a good idea to me," I agreed as I headed up the stairs.
"'Night, honey," he called after me. No doubt he would be listening carefully all evening, waiting for me to try to sneak out.
"See you in the morning, Dad." See you creeping into my room tonight at midnight to check on me.
Dreamed last night about a time and place
Where from our troubles we had escaped
I held your hand and I felt complete
As you turned and said to me
From now on
From now on we'll be
You and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
You and me
You and me, we will be
Years went by and nothing changed
The love we shared just stayed the same
As hair grew grey on top of our heads
Every night I quietly said
From now on
From now on we'll be
You and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
You and me
You and me, we will be
Only a dream
Only a dream
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
You and me, we will be
Where from our troubles we had escaped
I held your hand and I felt complete
As you turned and said to me
From now on
From now on we'll be
You and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
You and me
You and me, we will be
Years went by and nothing changed
The love we shared just stayed the same
As hair grew grey on top of our heads
Every night I quietly said
From now on
From now on we'll be
You and me
We will be
From now on
From now on we'll be
You and me
You and me, we will be
Only a dream
Only a dream
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
Only a dream
From now on
You and me, we will be
Last born of the clan
First one to be free
Lived inside a house
Beneath the hanging tree
Loved them deadly nights
That chilled him to the bone
Words were cried at night
In unforgiving tones
Blood of his men was gone beneath snow
He picked up his knife and his bow
Killer of Jonathan Low
Violence from without
And anger from within
Crawling through the fields
Informing next of kin
They all turned their backs
But they all knew his name
And if he could return
They'd probably do the same
Blood of his friends was gone beneath snow
For all that I know, he died
Killer of Jonathan Low
The blood of his friends was gone beneath snow
For all that I know, he died
Killer of Jonathan Low
First one to be free
Lived inside a house
Beneath the hanging tree
Loved them deadly nights
That chilled him to the bone
Words were cried at night
In unforgiving tones
Blood of his men was gone beneath snow
He picked up his knife and his bow
Killer of Jonathan Low
Violence from without
And anger from within
Crawling through the fields
Informing next of kin
They all turned their backs
But they all knew his name
And if he could return
They'd probably do the same
Blood of his friends was gone beneath snow
For all that I know, he died
Killer of Jonathan Low
The blood of his friends was gone beneath snow
For all that I know, he died
Killer of Jonathan Low
Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let me come closer, I'm not your shadow
With our eyes shielded from the oncoming count
It's not hard for us to say what we should not
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let me come closer, I'm not your shadow
With our eyes shielded from the oncoming count
It's not hard for us to say what we should not
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows
And tumbling, tumbling, don't go fascination
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
Let's get lost
The moon is always full for us
The road is always clear
That's not what you want to hear
One is born so one can die
You must wait a real long time
That's more than you can bear
And the days will come and go
And the band will march alone
Till the day you cast a shadow
And it's nothing like your own
Rolling in on a burning tire
You're gonna set my house on fire
Just to show me that you were there
Flowers raised up like a snake
You will raise to leave me bait
And always, always take
And the days will come and go
And the band will march alone
Till the day you cast a shadow
And it's nothing like your own
The moon is always full for us
The road is always clear
That’s not what you want to hear
That’s not what you want to hear
The road is always clear
That's not what you want to hear
One is born so one can die
You must wait a real long time
That's more than you can bear
And the days will come and go
And the band will march alone
Till the day you cast a shadow
And it's nothing like your own
Rolling in on a burning tire
You're gonna set my house on fire
Just to show me that you were there
Flowers raised up like a snake
You will raise to leave me bait
And always, always take
And the days will come and go
And the band will march alone
Till the day you cast a shadow
And it's nothing like your own
The moon is always full for us
The road is always clear
That’s not what you want to hear
That’s not what you want to hear
Other lives, always tempted to trade
Will they hate me for all the choices I made
Will they stop when they see me again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts now
Tear me down, they can’t take you out of my thoughts
Under every scar there’s a battle I’ve lost
Will they stop when they see us again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
Starts now
Will they hate me for all the choices I made
Will they stop when they see me again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts now
Tear me down, they can’t take you out of my thoughts
Under every scar there’s a battle I’ve lost
Will they stop when they see us again
I can’t stop now I know who I am
Now I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
I’m all yours, I’m not afraid
And you’re all mine, say what they may
And all your love I’ll take to the grave
And all my life starts
Starts now
Your lips are nettles
Your tongue is wine
Your laughter’s liquid
But your body’s pine
You love all sailors
But hate the beach
You say come touch me
But you’re always out of reach
In the dark you tell me of a flower
That only blooms in the violet hour
Your arms are lovely
Yellow and rose
Your back’s a meadow
Covered in snow
Your thighs are thistles
And hot-house grapes
You breathe your sweet breath
And have me wait
In the dark you tell me of a flower
That only blooms in the violet hour
I turn the lights out
I clean the sheets
You change the station
Turned up the heat
And now you’re sitting
Upon your chair
You’ve got me tangled up
Inside your beautiful black hair
In the dark you tell me of a flower
That only blooms in the violet hour
In the dark you tell me of a flower
That only blooms in the violet hour
Your tongue is wine
Your laughter’s liquid
But your body’s pine
You love all sailors
But hate the beach
You say come touch me
But you’re always out of reach
In the dark you tell me of a flower
That only blooms in the violet hour
Your arms are lovely
Yellow and rose
Your back’s a meadow
Covered in snow
Your thighs are thistles
And hot-house grapes
You breathe your sweet breath
And have me wait
In the dark you tell me of a flower
That only blooms in the violet hour
I turn the lights out
I clean the sheets
You change the station
Turned up the heat
And now you’re sitting
Upon your chair
You’ve got me tangled up
Inside your beautiful black hair
In the dark you tell me of a flower
That only blooms in the violet hour
In the dark you tell me of a flower
That only blooms in the violet hour
I was a quick wet boy
Diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes
Wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair
I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map
And called for you everywhere
Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping
Or lost you
American mouth
Big pill looming
Now I’m a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats
Curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean
Blood of Christ mountain streams
Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounding, bleeding
Or lost you
American mouth
Big pill stuck going down
Diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes
Wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair
I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map
And called for you everywhere
Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping
Or lost you
American mouth
Big pill looming
Now I’m a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats
Curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean
Blood of Christ mountain streams
Have I found you
Flightless bird, grounding, bleeding
Or lost you
American mouth
Big pill stuck going down