Memories of Edward ran freely in my mind, spreading like a virus that would consume me.
His icey touch sending chills through me, his lips as they crushed mine, his addictive scent, that beautiful crooked smile, that infectious laugh....Each one hurt more than the last. Each time a new memory ran through me, I thought the pain could get no worse. Until the next memory.
I hadn't stopped crying in hysterics since the wolves had disappeared.
I don't know how long I lay on the ground. Just wallowing. I tried to talk myself out of it a few times. Why was I doing this to Charlie again? Hadn't he been through enough? He would be frantic, I hadn't told him where I'd gone, so he wouldn't even know where to start. But these thoughts only came into my mind every now and again. More then anything, the torture was in my mind. All the things that I had managed to supress in the past months broke free now. When I hadn't registered the radio in my closet that I had gotten for my birthday. When Jacob held my hand while I got stitches and why that was ironic. Edward and I's carefree banter. My lullaby. The warmth that I felt from the embraces, despite the icey hands holding me. His piercing eyes that I could never seem to look away from. A million things that I had kept out of my memory. So many things that I hadn't thought of in so many months...
It was dark by now. I was much more aware than the last time I had been missing, curl in a ball on the forest floor...and that thought sent a new wave of torture through me. But though I knew what was happening much more, I simply didn't care at that moment.
I eventually slipped into a painful unconciousness, though I wasn't exactly sure if I was sleeping or not at that moment, because the scenery was so simular. I eventually woke to the muted light of morning. At first nothing happened. I was trying very hard not to think. But Charlie must be out of his mind with worry, I thought. What was I doing? I needed to get up.
I pushed myself up with my hands onto my feet. I was very wabbley for sitting for so long, and it took me a moent to regain my balance enough to start walking. And worrying.
What on earth was I going to tell Charlie? I could tell him the truth...of course not all of it, but the important parts, anyway. I couldn't think of anything else.
"Where have you been?!" He'd probably start out with that.
"I'm sorry dad, I need to talk to you."
"Do you have any idea how worried I was?! Where have you been all night? You couldn't pick up a phone? I had a search party out looking for you. AGAIN!" That would sting. Low-blow.
"Calm down dad, I'm sorry...listen. It's the bear. Only it's not a bear...it's a wolf and it's HUGE and there are five of them..." That would catch him off-guard. He wouldn't be expecting that.
"What does a bear have to do with anything?"
"I saw them, in the woods...I was hiking, and they were chasing...something...and I..fainted." That was sad. I couldn't even lie convincingly in my own thoughts.
But that would work, right? Who wouldn't faint at the sight of those things? I'd have to look like hell. Then I remembered that I'd spent the entire night on the forest floor. I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.
I was so carried away in my thoughts, hurrying to get home, that I forgot to look at the compass. Knowing my luck I was heading the complete oposite direction to where my truck was parked.
His icey touch sending chills through me, his lips as they crushed mine, his addictive scent, that beautiful crooked smile, that infectious laugh....Each one hurt more than the last. Each time a new memory ran through me, I thought the pain could get no worse. Until the next memory.
I hadn't stopped crying in hysterics since the wolves had disappeared.
I don't know how long I lay on the ground. Just wallowing. I tried to talk myself out of it a few times. Why was I doing this to Charlie again? Hadn't he been through enough? He would be frantic, I hadn't told him where I'd gone, so he wouldn't even know where to start. But these thoughts only came into my mind every now and again. More then anything, the torture was in my mind. All the things that I had managed to supress in the past months broke free now. When I hadn't registered the radio in my closet that I had gotten for my birthday. When Jacob held my hand while I got stitches and why that was ironic. Edward and I's carefree banter. My lullaby. The warmth that I felt from the embraces, despite the icey hands holding me. His piercing eyes that I could never seem to look away from. A million things that I had kept out of my memory. So many things that I hadn't thought of in so many months...
It was dark by now. I was much more aware than the last time I had been missing, curl in a ball on the forest floor...and that thought sent a new wave of torture through me. But though I knew what was happening much more, I simply didn't care at that moment.
I eventually slipped into a painful unconciousness, though I wasn't exactly sure if I was sleeping or not at that moment, because the scenery was so simular. I eventually woke to the muted light of morning. At first nothing happened. I was trying very hard not to think. But Charlie must be out of his mind with worry, I thought. What was I doing? I needed to get up.
I pushed myself up with my hands onto my feet. I was very wabbley for sitting for so long, and it took me a moent to regain my balance enough to start walking. And worrying.
What on earth was I going to tell Charlie? I could tell him the truth...of course not all of it, but the important parts, anyway. I couldn't think of anything else.
"Where have you been?!" He'd probably start out with that.
"I'm sorry dad, I need to talk to you."
"Do you have any idea how worried I was?! Where have you been all night? You couldn't pick up a phone? I had a search party out looking for you. AGAIN!" That would sting. Low-blow.
"Calm down dad, I'm sorry...listen. It's the bear. Only it's not a bear...it's a wolf and it's HUGE and there are five of them..." That would catch him off-guard. He wouldn't be expecting that.
"What does a bear have to do with anything?"
"I saw them, in the woods...I was hiking, and they were chasing...something...and I..fainted." That was sad. I couldn't even lie convincingly in my own thoughts.
But that would work, right? Who wouldn't faint at the sight of those things? I'd have to look like hell. Then I remembered that I'd spent the entire night on the forest floor. I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.
I was so carried away in my thoughts, hurrying to get home, that I forgot to look at the compass. Knowing my luck I was heading the complete oposite direction to where my truck was parked.
hey twi-fans, after seeing New Moon in theaters we all want 2 see it again right? well now there is a release date for the New Moon DVD: March 24, 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the prediction date not an official one, it is positive that it will be released early 2010. it is said that it may be early cuz of the demand!!!!!!! right now some sites have New Moon available for pre-order!!!! so as of today-November 26, 2009-we have 119 days till New Moon is on DVD!!! oh and 217 days till Eclipse is in theaters!!!!
Preface
I had done it, all of it.
All of which I never wanted to do.
I had hurt her.
I had risked her life....again....
I had made her suffer.
I had caused her enough pain to last an eternity.
And here I was, getting ready to do give here more pain, getting ready to do what I always wanted and never wanted to do.
I took a deep breath, and the scent of her blood burned my throat like white hot knifes, though I did not have any urge to drink it.
Yes….This just proves it, I am a monster. How could I even think about my thirst when she was suffering because of me?
Because of me…yes, it’s entirely my fault.
I ignored the throbbing in my throat and injected the venom straight into her heart...the heart which will stop beating soon, the heart which was the reason for me to live, the heart which she had given to me to keep safe just like how I had given her my silent heart, because of my selfishness, it was going to stop beating.....forever.
I had done it, all of it.
All of which I never wanted to do.
I had hurt her.
I had risked her life....again....
I had made her suffer.
I had caused her enough pain to last an eternity.
And here I was, getting ready to do give here more pain, getting ready to do what I always wanted and never wanted to do.
I took a deep breath, and the scent of her blood burned my throat like white hot knifes, though I did not have any urge to drink it.
Yes….This just proves it, I am a monster. How could I even think about my thirst when she was suffering because of me?
Because of me…yes, it’s entirely my fault.
I ignored the throbbing in my throat and injected the venom straight into her heart...the heart which will stop beating soon, the heart which was the reason for me to live, the heart which she had given to me to keep safe just like how I had given her my silent heart, because of my selfishness, it was going to stop beating.....forever.
Okay so I was just looking through my pictures, and I found this:
I can't remember where I got it from (possibly edwardandbella.com?) but I just thought it as really interesting.
I mean look how small Alice is, when the book says she's small I didn't think she'd be that much smaller than Bella.
And look how tall Jacob is...hmm maybe he would win in a fight against Edward...maybe not, Edward is good at everything afterall.
So anyway, I just thought it would be useful for people who have trouble picturing the characters heights -like me :).
Tell me what you think- does it help at all??
I can't remember where I got it from (possibly edwardandbella.com?) but I just thought it as really interesting.
I mean look how small Alice is, when the book says she's small I didn't think she'd be that much smaller than Bella.
And look how tall Jacob is...hmm maybe he would win in a fight against Edward...maybe not, Edward is good at everything afterall.
So anyway, I just thought it would be useful for people who have trouble picturing the characters heights -like me :).
Tell me what you think- does it help at all??
Okay so here's a little game that I found. Just like the real bingo, but for when you say one of the comments -and you've probably said one of the comments more then once lol.
Okay so some of the boxes are a little mean, for example '*ignores Jacobs existence*'. Please don't take offence, I didn't make this. And there are some spelling mistakes too, but I'm sure you can read it.
I just glanced over it then, and I would say I fill about 10 (how come it's so popular if it's so cr*appy being one I use often-my friends just don't understand lol). How many do you think you can fill, comment below :)
I just thought it was something funny; tell me what you think please.
Okay so some of the boxes are a little mean, for example '*ignores Jacobs existence*'. Please don't take offence, I didn't make this. And there are some spelling mistakes too, but I'm sure you can read it.
I just glanced over it then, and I would say I fill about 10 (how come it's so popular if it's so cr*appy being one I use often-my friends just don't understand lol). How many do you think you can fill, comment below :)
I just thought it was something funny; tell me what you think please.
So these are, by far, my favorite quotes from the first 3 books. (I haven't read breaking dawn yet :P)
1.If seth didn't cut it out, I was going to throw a pinecone at him.-Bella (I just think that's hilarious.)
2.Your hair looks like a haystack. But I like it. -Edward
3.I love you. I want you. Right now. -Edward.
4.Marry me first. -Edward
5.I'll never forgive myself for leaving you.-Edward
6.Does my being half naked bother you? -Jacob
I can't think of any more... But feel free to add on XD
1.If seth didn't cut it out, I was going to throw a pinecone at him.-Bella (I just think that's hilarious.)
2.Your hair looks like a haystack. But I like it. -Edward
3.I love you. I want you. Right now. -Edward.
4.Marry me first. -Edward
5.I'll never forgive myself for leaving you.-Edward
6.Does my being half naked bother you? -Jacob
I can't think of any more... But feel free to add on XD