to darkfairy97! thank you!

i woke.if you called that sleeping. but i diddnt want to move, i was too shocked to move, like i couldn't, paralized . again.
Jacob said that he wasn't going to leave the house after last night, had givin up to continuing carrying on about the scent.
i jsut sat back ,and diddnt reply. i couldn't say a word. my face was numb, my whole body was cut off from me.
i knew that me acting this way would give concerns to jacob, but that diddnt matter now. i believe that after seeing Carlisle that Jacob knew who was there last night, but was too afraid of me to ask what happened.
Tanna had laughed, with edward, because of edward.
The way he said my name, the way i had always wanted him to in my dreams, the way he had so many years ago.
He was sincere, beautiful, gentle, soft.
It was like he was aware of all the time we had be apart, and only remembered the time we were together, thinking we still were, making him say my name like that.
These for the words i had wanted to hear for so long, that after a while that they were the only things i looked forward to, wehat keep me going, keep me sane. that perhaps my true love will come back to claim me.
i just lyed there, on our queen sise bed, staring at my roof, Jacob knew something had happened but he not a time for small talk but i had to talk sooner or later, to assure him, that our marriage is strong, and our family is still complete.
BUT IT ISNT! is never has and it never will. i want to give of all myself to jacob, i really do. i want edward to out of system, i want to be a good mother.i want to make jacob happy, for him to have no worries that he is deffiantily the only one i love.
No daughter deserves to know that her mother dreams about another man other then their loved father. And one who wasnt Human.
vampire.
the clocked clicked over and over and over, and i still remained in the same position.
Jacob called for me for Breakfast, lunch and dinner. But i never replied, how can I. How can i play the lovly family game? sittng down on at the dinning room table and play lovely wife and mum, and try fool jacob. i could never fool jacob.
He always saw right threw me, and no matter how long ago i had thought that i still had priacy in my mind, i offten thought that jacob could guess what i was thinking. He propberly did. Well Renee had told me once that i was easy to read. her open book, but another said i was quite hard, i tossed them over that over time i diddnt know which was the truth..and gave up.
night came, and this time being up all day and night i as exhusted adn fell asleep easly only for myyself to given a nightmare.
I was running in the woods, cold, alone, scared.edward.
i felt a cold sensation tricker down my face as edward appeared in my dream. i was jsut so tired i ignored. shaking of my dream, i couldnt freak out as much as i was, cause jacob was dead to the world beside me. But he was restless. He had been for soemtime now.shaking and grunting in his dreams.
"bella" came a velvet voice beside me.