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posted by joe-edwardfan
Black moon
Edward left me. edward left me. I couldn’t cope with it how could he leave me? he loved me didn’t he? I was subbing so hard that I couldn’t breath I was picturing his hard emotionless face when he told me he never loved me or wanted me every time I thought about him I subbed harder, my hole body was shaking, it was raining and my hole body was wet I was freezing but I didn’t care I rather die than live without him.im crazy the guy left me and I don’t want to live without him!
My body was freezing and my head was about to explode when I heard someone calling my name
-Bella,Bella,Bella…..
I didn’t recognize the voice but I got up to go to the voice my legs gave out they hurt pretty bad I tried to answer but my voice didn’t came out the voice got closer
-Bella,Bella
I saw a tall man running toward me he looked me in the eye
-are you alright?
I wanted to laugh at what he said “yeah my bf left me and I'm great” I kept it to myself cause he would think I'm crazy I just shook my head .he helped me to get up but it was like I didn’t have control of my feet it was disconnected! So he picked me up and put me on his shoulders I wanted to object but I still couldn’t talk all i could think of was edward and every moment we had together so I broke into subs again
-its ok Bella don’t think about him its ok
How did he know? Was he spying on me? Is he…………………………………
-I found her but she doesn’t stop crying
-oh Bella honey are you ok? Lets take you home ok?
I still couldn’t talk Charlie took me home, dr. snow checked me and said I had a cold so I went upstairs to change.
10 days later
I was so depressed i wouldn’t talk to anyone I, wouldn’t eat I couldn’t even sleep! I wasn’t who I was before, I was a different person I tried to pretend in front of Charlie that I'm ok but I think I failed . every day after school I went by the Cullen's house to check if their back ,but nothing. in school everyone tried to be nice to me and invite me over but I just ignored them, I lost 13 kg in 10 days ,under my eyes were black and Charlie doesn't talk to me he thinks it only make things worse dr. snow visited me twice and wants me to see a shrink! And if I visit a shrink they would probably chain me up if I tell them the truth: “did you know my bf is a vampire and his vampire brother attacked me cause I got a paper cut and he wanted to drink my blood so my bf left me because 1. He thinks he's dangerous 2.the most imp reason he doesn't love me”
Charlie tried to protect me from dr. snow and told him that I’ll snap out of it in a few days at least Charlie was hoping, he didn’t give up on me.
2 days passed and I was still crying I felt my other half was missing or my heart isn’t beating.
I woke up and got ready for school when I heard Renées voice I went to see what's going on
-oh Bella honey are you ok look at you! Your so skinny…………….. she broke into subes I hugged her to calm her down then Charlie came with a bag in his hands
-Bella your going back with your mother you cant be here anymore your not you anymore I don’t want to be the one………………
I cut him off
-I don’t want to go! Dad why are you doing this to me?
i screamed at him then I grabbed the bag out of his hand and threw my clothes every where then I went in my room and started crying why does Charlie wants me to leave? Thousand questions ran into my mind then I heard a knock on my door Charlie opened the door and came in
-Bella you know I don’t want you to leave you know he's not coming back he's not calling he's not sending letters Bella he's not coming back you have to accept that!
-well I cant!!
- Bella your moping around your lifeless is he worth this?
Moping around that stung .
-I want to get ready for school.
I said and and closed the door in his face I got ready and went to school in school no one talked to me not that I mind I liked it or at least Angela asked how I feel and stuff ….
Today school was boring like always and in biology I would just stare at Edwards empty seat and imagined what would it be like if he was still here seconds passed like hours when school ended I drove to la push. I parked my car and walked on the beach when I got to the cliff I went and stood on the edge of the cliff trying to imagine what would it be like when I jump I was standing there fore 30 min or more when someone touched my shoulder I turned around to see who it was
-Bella? What are you doing here?
-hi jake I was just watching the sunset .
and imagining how would it be like if I jumped
-How are you Charlie is worried about you , Billy is bugging me to come and see you and I just thought you need some space to figure this out
-figure what out.
I asked suspicious
-um_um you know edward I mean I know he left you but its not worth it Bella look at you ,your not that happy fun person that I knew, your lifeless
-why does everyone tells me that, there is nothing wrong with me and I'm fun and happy. My voice broke at the last word
-Bella wake up he is not here your destroying yourself . he whisperd
I crossed my hands trying to hold my self then I glanced at the cliff again maybe I should wait when he's gone then I’ll jump and rest in peace he followed my gaze and frowned
-what where you doing at the edge of the cliff?
he asked still frowning oh god he's on to me then he's going to stick around here and, I cant rest in peace
-nothing, j-just watching the sunset and feeling the cool breeze on my face like I said!
- ok , um if you ever needed to talk to anyone you know I will always be there fore you, don’t you?
-yeah thanks jake
he hugged me it was kind of weird and he's skin was hot like he had a fever
-are you alright? I thing you have a fever ,your skin is so hot
-um yeah yeah sure I should go bye
-bye.
That was weird what's wrong with him?! I standed there for a few more minutes and then I went back to my car.
When I went home Renée was still here talking with Charlie I ignored them and went up stairs to do my home work
When my home work was done I took a shower to relax myself and then dressed in my pj
-Bella honey I made dinner come eat with us
- I'm not hungry mom!
then she came up stairs and came in my room
-Bella you didn’t even had lunch! Please come eat!
Then she came and hugged me and kissed my forehead, then grabbed my hand and took me downstairs .
-hey bells how was your day?
-the usual and um I saw Jacob black
-that's good ,he's a sweet kid
- yeah
-mmmm something smells good! Renée cooked pasta for you, your favorite !
Charlie said smiling hoping I would eat something tonight
-great but I'm not hungry
Charlie frowned
-Bella why…um why…. Never mind
He sighed I knew what he wanted to ask Bella why are you doing this to your self?
I watched Renée and Charlie eat and then went to my room my life was empty it didn’t even mattered if I died .I brushed my teeth and went to bed
I was in the forest running and I kept falling down trying to chase edward no matter how fast I ran I kept losing him then it started raining I was all wet but I didn’t give up cause I knew if I didn’t chase him my life would be useless I kept running and finally I caught him I went to talk to him but then Jacob came and grabbed me by my wrist and dragged me away from him no matter how hard I hit him he just kept running and saying some nonsense about edward and his family being dangerous. I woke up crying it was 3:00 AM I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t 3 hours passed I got up and got ready to go to school I was really hungry so I had pancakes and decided to walk to school. while I was walking I thought about edward I really didn’t want to think about him cause it hurt too much but I couldn’t help it I didn’t had anything else to think about , I was trying to imagine what he was doing right now he could be hunting ,be with another vampire perhaps Tanya Alice told me how much she loved edward that made me very angry and jealous I stopped walking and leaned on a tree I couldn’t walk anymore cause i couldn’t breath it was like I had no longs whenever I think about them this happens its like I'm being ripped in two pieces when I heard someone behind me some part of me wished it was edward when I turned around I frowned it was Jacob I hate him so much I think its because of the dreams I was having he always tried to take me away from edward
-hi
Jacob said with a grin I didn’t like him but some part of me did, god what's wrong with me I wish I didn’t have that some part its making me crazy!!!
-hi
I said coldly trying to avoid that some part
-are you ok? Your white
-yeah I'm great just walking to school
-I thought your school starts at 8:00 AM
-yeah I didn’t feel like driving so I wanted to walk slowly
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