Dear Edward
Edward, you are THE guy according to 99.9% of the girls out there but not me no siree! here is why:
Watching Bella while she is asleep:
I get that you wanna protect her blah blah all the romantic stuff, but you started doing the watch-her-while-she-is-asleep thingy RIGHT after you met her. What were you protecting her from? oh right you were scared that she would die in her sleep or something, would have been interesting to see how you would have saved her from that one.
The whole deal with blood:
Do not care whether you drink human blood, animal blood or any other blood. Its disturbing to know that you drink blood just think about it dude you drink blood like I drink water now that's just extremely disturbing dude. Its even more disturbing when you have to tell Bella you are going out to hunt I am sure she has this image of you drinking blood from that poor animal.*shivers*
Warm up:
I don't know about Bella but I sure do want a guy who I can cuddle up to during winter. Lucky you got Bella who doesn't complain about that. If I were Bella, honey you wouldn't hear the end of it. So once again Jacob triumphs in that department... Starting to think Bella is delusional for choosing you over our ablicious Jacob
Yours faithfully
The crazed Jacob fan
Edward, you are THE guy according to 99.9% of the girls out there but not me no siree! here is why:
Watching Bella while she is asleep:
I get that you wanna protect her blah blah all the romantic stuff, but you started doing the watch-her-while-she-is-asleep thingy RIGHT after you met her. What were you protecting her from? oh right you were scared that she would die in her sleep or something, would have been interesting to see how you would have saved her from that one.
The whole deal with blood:
Do not care whether you drink human blood, animal blood or any other blood. Its disturbing to know that you drink blood just think about it dude you drink blood like I drink water now that's just extremely disturbing dude. Its even more disturbing when you have to tell Bella you are going out to hunt I am sure she has this image of you drinking blood from that poor animal.*shivers*
Warm up:
I don't know about Bella but I sure do want a guy who I can cuddle up to during winter. Lucky you got Bella who doesn't complain about that. If I were Bella, honey you wouldn't hear the end of it. So once again Jacob triumphs in that department... Starting to think Bella is delusional for choosing you over our ablicious Jacob
Yours faithfully
The crazed Jacob fan
10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black
10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.
9. Call him a space heater.
8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.
7. Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.
6. Inform him that real men sparkle.
5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.
3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.
2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.
And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?
1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.
10. Never use English around him – instead, bark.
9. Call him a space heater.
8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners.
7. Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet.
6. Inform him that real men sparkle.
5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage.
4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot.
3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella.
2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style.
And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black?
1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human.