Request from a tumblr anon.

Another stupid love letter whooshed onto Icy’s table. In the hour she’d been sitting in the coffee shop, she’d received about five of them. Each one barring a new and different sappy poem.
Roses are red.
Your eyes are blue…ish
I want the Winx dead.
And so do you.
Okay so that one wasn’t sappy, but it was the most recent and her favorite.

Each letter was completely unsigned. But she already knew who they were from. Darko had been eyeing her all day from afar. Icy took a sip of her coffee. Or maybe they were from Gantlos, the man had already asked her to attend Magix’s Valentine’s Day Dance.
She also recalled avoiding any bodies of water, as Tritannus always seemed to be there begging her to come back to him. Which was the biggest turn off she’d ever had. And she once had Duman hit on her by singing Fergilicious—of course he called it Dumalicioius.

Icy sighed. There were way too many of them and the more men flirted with her the more she wondered how any woman could possibly want this. How Darcy could enjoy so much male attention. It was nothing but distracting and aggravating. At best it was an opportunity to work on her wit and sarcasm.
Even then it got boring trying to find a way to creatively tell them to fuck off. And so by the end of the day she’d usually just say it outright.

Icy stood up, realizing that she had indeed just sat there for an hour just pondering.
Pondering without even ordering at least a bagel or something.

She fished around in her pocket for five dollar bill.
Maybe she should take out two of them, who knew how much they were charging these days.

She heard the sound of a paper cup dropping onto the table.

“I didn’t know what you liked so I just got you caffe latte.” Valtor took the chair opposite the one she had just been sitting in.

“I take it you’re the one who has been tossing me all of these.” She slid the letters in his direction.

He read them over. “Nope, not mine.” He tossed them over his shoulder. “I’m a much better poet and I can actually spell correctly.”

“Is that right?” Icy sat back down.

“It is indeed.” He gave a haughty flick of his wrist. “I also don’t waste my time on cheap gifts. You deserve something more elaborate. Do you fancy diamonds? You can finish that latte and we can go somewhere with more class.” He suggested.

“People have tried lots of things to get my affection, but no one has ever tried to buy it. Funny thing your method is absolutely working.” Icy shrugged. “Well that is if you go deeper than that later.” She added with a dismissive hand wave.

“I take that as a yes?”

“I’ll give you a chance, since you aren’t showering me with this,” she motioned to the letters on the floor and the small bouquet she had acquired over the passing hours, “crap.”

“Well of course not. You deserve better than that.” Valtor shrugged.

Icy finished her latte and stood up again.

“Shall we?” Valtor asked.

Icy nodded and led him outside.

“Where do you want to go?”

Icy looked in the direction of the Valentine’s Day Dance. “Anywhere but there.” She shrugged.

“Any particular reason you’re avoiding the dance?”

“Last year the only thing to do there was go in the tunnel of love, dance, and hope the swans from ‘Lover’s Lake’ don’t get pissed and crash the party.” She trailed off. “Hope they don’t make a nest in your hair and eat all the chocolate and then peck at everything in sight.”

“That is…oddly specific.” Valtor noted.

“It happened last year. The upside was that the swans took down Darkar and Tritannus. Two less people I had to deal with. But they didn’t take down Darko. In fact I think he made friends with them, sat in a circle with them and made them rose crowns. “ She tapped a long nailed finger to her chin. “Yeah, that was definitely what happened. He got them to retreat.”

“That’s rather hard to believe. But then again it must be true, you can’t just make something like that up.” Valtor responded as they passed through a crowd headed for the dance.

“I mean I could…”

“I don’t know, I feel like it’s one of those things that’s just so out there, that you can’t make it up.”

“Hmm…perhaps.” Icy replied. She came to a stop. “You know what? I think I know exactly how we’re going to spend this day.”

“Oh?”

“We’ll go to Lover’s Lake, we will acquire ourselves an army of swans and we ruin everyone’s fancy Valentine’s dinner by reserving 80 of the restaurants 100 tables. We will then sit at our table and fill the other 79 with swans.”

“Okay, so maybe you can just make a story like that up.” Valtor admitted.

“Oh I didn’t make that story up, the dance really was invaded. And we are going to go through with this plan. Just picture it; 316 swans. 4 swans to fill up each table. There will be so much confusion. And even more anger upon people realizing that they couldn’t eat at a fancy diner because it was booked by swans.”

“If that’s what you want to do with our first date, then we shall do it.” Valtor agreed.

The letters were from Stormy. Well the I want the Winx dead one was. It was her idea of a great Valentine’s day joke.