Hello I'm the Winx-Critic, I remember it so you don't have to! (...yes I'm using NotalgaCritic's slogan...don't you judge me)

So, today is finally the day that I begin watching the monstrosity that is known as season five. Now, I know that the last few episodes are just coming out next week (I believe) but, to be honest, I have never started an episode of this dub. I have never actually seen an episode of season five. Now, how do I know so much about it when I have never seen an episode before? Well, with the amount of crap and comments that this thing has been receiving, it's no mystery as to how I know so much. Now, I know most of you already know how I feel about this..."change", but now, I've dived into the watery-hell (Haha...bad pun, get it? Since season five takes place mostly in the ocean..no? Nobody? Okay.) that is season five, and will now be giving you all my thoughts and views on the episodes.

Now, I've seen some other reviews of certain episodes, but nobody has really gone through with a whole overview of the series. Which is what I'm going to do here. But first, let me make this clear. This is my opinion and I'm not going to judge you if you have your own views (Or, even opposing views) towards this dub or my review. If you like the Nick version, that's cool. I don't find you stupid, annoying or downright ignorant. It's your opinion and I can't change you tastes. But, this is my opinion. So, please respect it. Anyways, with that out if the way, let's get on with the review.

So the episode starts off with Bloom flying into focus, all the other Winx soon appearing to show of their skills. Now, even the first minute of this thing has pissed me off! First of all, the CGI "Gardenia" is just god-awful. Second, how the fuck do you screw up the pronunciation of a name with five freaking letters?! Layla (Or "Aisha" as she is known in this dub) shows up and Bloom pronounces her name in the weirdest way ever. "Ayeesha" I mean...what? Third, I've seen others complain about it as well, but never watching an episode, I never understood how bad it really was. They all sound the same. Flora sounds just like Tecna. Bloom sounds just like Musa. And Stella...oh my god. What the hell is up with her voice! And same goes for Roxy's! Eugh it's so annoying... Layla's, really, is the only one I can really differentiate! And, I don't mean to be racist, but I think it's because they made her have a slightly different tone because she is African-American. I mean...the voices are just terrible! (Even Kiko sounds messed up) What happened to sweet Flora? Or spunky Musa? Or sassy Stella? It's just...bad.

Now, the animation is another thing I have an issue with. I mean, it's not bad but it's not great either. Their movements are so awkward and their moves just look out of place. (The magic, more so) Everything has this funky looking thing going on and it's just looks weird. I gotta give them credit for making the ocean scene look pretty good. But the rest? Well, it looked...oh refined is not the word I'm looking for. Let's see...unique? It definitely stands out from the other seasons. But...that isn't always a good thing. They take an unnecessary amount of time to react to something. When Roxy walks over and tells Bloom and Flora she got accepted into Alfea (Which doesn't even make any sense because she declined the offer in freaking season four!) it takes Bloom like, 5-8 seconds to even move or do anything to show her congratulatory mood. Even their mouths seem off with their speech, and even the emotions they're supposed to portray don't look right. Yeah, I know this might be nit-picking it too much, but the original had a nice smooth feel and it just looked good all around. Yeah, the CGI Cloudtower or Alfea wasn't the best looking thing ever, but at least that was only used for buildings and big scenery. (Like the forests separating the three schools) In here, they just use it whenever the fuck they want to. Oh, it's a building they are in front of, let's make it CGI! Oh look, they're using a big spell, let's make it CGI! I mean, is hand drawn animation dead or something?

Now, after they promote this concert they're going to have (Which is just unnecessary. Yeah, they sang in season four but I mean...becoming some-what famous in Gardenia needs to happen? They're already the mother fucking Winx Club! What else could they want?!) Bloom has an unnecessary flashback when Roxy mentions the word "big sister". Yeah...this isn't helpful to the plot whatsoever so, in other words: nobody cares just get back to the fairies. While getting some air to help her emotional state, they spot smoke in the distance. Tecna uses her gadgets (Which isn't necessary...what can't you see? You can't fly? I mean, you just made a big spectacle of yourselves a few minutes ago!) to determine that an oil rig has caught fire...or that one of the engines is failing. Yeah, Nick, I don't think you understand what oil is. Oil + fire = EXPLOSION! Honestly, even if the crew are mind-numbingly stupid, it's probably the best voice acting I've heard so far.

After his little incident, the Specialist finally show up. And...what the fuck? What happened to Sky's hair?! I understood they screwed up Helia's big time, but now you go and make Sky's hair a spiky Scene-mess? With them walking in, you see Sky show Brandon this pendant that he is going to give Bloom. And...it's so obvious a two year old could figure it out, (After he says "I just don't want to loose it") that he really is going to loose it...and very dramatically I inquire. Anyways, all the boys arrive and meet their girls. Except for one. Layla. Now, I gotta admit, this part...gave me feels. Layla is one of my favorite characters and, the girls just basically rubbing in her face that Nabu is gone and she doesn't have a boyfriend (Or, even a freaking fiancee) kind of makes them look like bitches.

After they finally go and check on her (After some horrible attempts to add comic relief) she informs them that her "cousin", Tessa, is going to live stream the coronation of Ligea's kids. Now...I've already complained about this but, what? She's your cousin? And you never thought that it was an appropriate time to mention that when you all went to Andros to save the Queen from Valtor?! And, genetically speaking, this thing wouldn't even be possible. Yeah, it's a kids show and science and logic are basically thrown out the window, but...that just pissed me off. And, if Ligea was married, where was Neptune when his wife and daughter got kidnapped? Talk about bad parenting.

When we zoom into Neptune's palace, we see Ligea, Tessa, Neptune, Nereus and various mer-people from Andros. After some bitch whispers about Tritannus being a pathetic choice, we see someone (Oh who could it possibly be! Nick, you're killing me with the suspense!) mumble about "how he'll show them all!" And...god is his voice annoying and whiny. No wonder he's so hated! I couldn't stand to be around a twat like that for very long. After Neptune makes his speech on why Nereus is chosen, (And his voice magnificent. Oh Lord, I'd like to thank you for blessing this garbage with a decent voice actor) he prepares to crown him prince. But not before mysterious-masked merman has something to say about it! He appears and attacks Nereus and Neptune, Neptune soon busting out his sword and defeating....*le gasp* Tritannus! Everyone is shocked, (Surprisingly) and Neptune orders the guards to lock him away.

Back on the surface, the Winx are slightly concerned over what's going on but their attention is soon brought to—surprise, surprise!—the exploding oil rig. They rush over and Tecna figures out that multiple pipes have burst and oil is leaking into the ocean. For some reason, Flora feels this destruction. Now, why is that? If anyone should be feeling emotion or distress towards the situation, it would be Roxy or Layla. Since, Layla is the fairy of waves and would probably sense the pollution in the ocean, and Roxy is the fairy of animals so she would probably feel the panic those sea-creatures were feeling. What would Flora have to freak out about? Sea-weed and microscopic plankton? Yeah. So, they burst into action. (Minus Roxy, because, ya know: ya need to watch the beach and the people..who would probably be leaving on their own because, well, ya know: THERE WAS A FREAKING EXPLOSION!) And praise Jesus! They use the original Believix song. The only thing that ruins it is..."Fairy of the ____!" I mean, is this really necessary? We should know by now what their powers are. The audience isn't three. We don't need to have crap repeated to us. We do not like this. We are not idiots and we do not need to feel titillated.

So they fly over to the rig and do useless spells and slow reactions to the emergency. The only few that actually do some good are Tecna and Stella. Tecna uses her magic to suck up the oil that had made its way into the water and then delete it; Stella protecting workers with her shield. Yes, Musa blasts a pump away from them, but where does it go? Into the ocean. Yeah cuz, it just needs more pollution after all this oil! Bloom gets rid of the fire, sure...helpful when you could be flying through the flames and saving people. Because apparently, you are immune to fire. Flora does nothing helpful. She tries to clog up the pipes with vines but, they soon explode with more oil. Yeah...ever hear of pressure sweetheart? The specialist are actually helpful and take the workers away and to safety.

Layla finally decides to do something after the oil continues to leak and dives down to see what she can do. During this, Stella spots the foreman of the rig still trapped. Bloom sends Sky over and he flies to the man, the foreman tripping and grabbing awkwardly unto the vehicle. Sky tries to heave him up, but this causes the pendant to fall out of his pocket and land into the ocean. This makes Sky loose his balance and the two of them fling off the bike, Bloom racing over to safe them. Now, who does she save: the innocent civilian that this whole rescue mission was based on or her boyfriend who can obviously take care of himself? Well, of course she saves her boyfriend! Screw the foreman, as long as I've got you baby I could care less! She deicides that it's all up to Layla to save him. While underwater, Layla finds the source of the leaking and clogs it with her magic, incidentally finding the foreman. She saves him and the Winx soon decide to use a convergence attack. They do so, and out pops a...water park? I don't really know what this thing is supposed to be. Is it a new rig? I don't know, but...weren't you supposed to purify the water? That's what you said in the spell not "create. water park."!

After saving everyone and turning the rig into a motel, they return back to shore where Flora continues to bitch and moan about some oil that remains in the ocean. Uh...I'm pretty sure you cleaned the water with magic and Layla did close-up the only visible leakage so. But, her despair does not last long when Bloom suggests that their concert should be about saving and preserving the oceans. Oh boy...this is going to be an environment awareness season isn't it? Why? Why do we even have to bring this message in? Yeah, we've seen plenty of films already where this happens: humans pollute environment. Bad guy shows up and wreaks havoc. Magic saves the day. Humans bad. I mean...really? We don't need this shoved down our throat anymore!

Anyways, after that embarrassing little idea, we go back into Andros where the guards are taking Tritannus into his prison cell. There, we hear some speaking and...could it be?! I see a poofy hairdo and long elegant one and then a ponytail! Could it be the one and only—uh ajslkanimsw what. What is up with Icy's voice?! I mean, I heard it was bad but I mean...good lord! Stormy sounded decent and Darcy was okay but how in the name of everything sane can you make the leader sound like that! She sounds more annoying than Stella! And...how did they even end up here? In season three they broke out of the most dangerous magical prison in the dimension so you think a cell made out of rocks and coral is going to prevent them from getting out?! And, we never know where they're going but, Andros? Really? Haven't they wreaked enough havoc on that planet? Eugh...

So, all in all this episode was crap. The dialogue was stupid. The jokes were stupid. The plot was stupid. The animation was bad and the villains are just pathetic. I mean, yeah, I can't be too harsh on them since it is their first original episode but...you guys gotta try a lot harder than this. The episode was just painful and dull and totally predictable. I'm just hoping the next one will be better...

I'm the Winx-Critic and I remember it so you don't have to! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find myself some hard liquor so I can extinguish this painful memory of Winx Club.