Last month was the absolute worst time in my entire life.
It was Brian's birthday and i was upset because i couldn't spend it with him because Avenged Sevenfold is on tour. I called him that morning to wish him a happy birthday and i told him to enjoy himself tonight. To go have fun with the guys. That night i got a call from the rev saying that i needed to catch the first flight to new york that i could...
"Why? Whats wrong?" The panic in his voice caught me offguard. "Syns in the hospital, he might not make it..." It was like my world turned upside down. "WHAT HAPPENED!" i yelled. "He got drunk and decided that he wanted to go back to the hotel and he got hit by a truck when he was crossing the street... It all happened so fast, he didn't even see the truck... are you there!?" It took me a minute to respond. It was my fault, all my fault. i told him to have fun tonight. Now hes laying in a hospital bed...
"I have to get out there NOW!!" I yelled at the lady behind the desk. "All of the flights are full ma'am. Im sorry but youre going to have to wait until morning." the lady said calmly." I'll pay anything, i dont care what it costs!" i begged. "I'm sorry but there are no more seats available!" said the woman. "Bull shit. my husband could be dying right now!"
It had only been 20 minutes since i got the call but i felt as though every second that went by was counting down to the death of my soulmate. I couldnt get there fast enough. "Here take my ticket, im sure my boss will understand." said a woman in line waiting to check in her luggage. "Oh my God thank you so much" i said as i hugged her and gave her a roll of hundred dollar bills. "But this is way more that i payed for that ticket!" she yelled as i sprinted toward the gate. "Keep it!" i yelled back.
The plane landed and i got a taxi to the hospital, it had been four hours from the time i got the call. i got the room number and i sprinted up the staircase two steps at a time. As i burst through the door my heart sunk. there was the love of my life, covered in bandages with tubes sticking out of his nose, his mouth and the arm that was not wrapped in a cast. The heart rate monitor beeped weakly. i started to sob as i sat down in the chair by his bed. "Please dont leave me." i sobbed, "I need you, i cant live without you..." The door opened and Matt, Johnny, Zacky, and Jimmy entered. I stood up and hugged each of them. They all looked terrible. Jimmy was the last to hug me and he said "I'm so sorry, its all my fault. I should have payed more attention to him. There were a bunch of fans there, they were feeding him shots because he was too drunk to take them himself. I lost track of him and all of the sudden there were screeching tires and horns. We all ran outside but it was too late... Im so so sorry, please forgive me. I just hope that hes strong enough to make it through this."
The doctor said that he had broken both legs and his left arm. A few of his ribs were broken and one had punctured his left lung. On top of that he had a cracked pelvis and a concussion. He was in a drug induced coma so that his body could heal. "Im amazed that he lived through the crash alone but i have to be honest with you, there is a very small chance that he will live through this." I couldn't eat or sleep and i barely left his side. He was steadily recovering but they said it would be a while before they could remove the tubes and lift the coma. I slept in the chair by his bed and talked to him constantly, pleading with him to hang on, to get better.
Two weeks and a couple of surgeries later the coma was lifted and some of the tubes were removed, yet he didnt wake up. The doctors told me that this was temporary and that he would wake up any day now. i never left his side unless it was completely neccessary.
Two days later, as i was begging him to open his eyes, to say anything, he woke up. I was crying (it had become a new pastime for me) and i heard him say "Sshh its alright. Im still here." i froze and looked up to see him staring at me with his beautiful brown eyes. "Thank God!" i exclamed. "The doctors said you might not make it!" i sobbed into the blanket, "I dont know what i would have done without you..." He tried to reach his arm out to me when the I.V. in his wrist pulled. I practically ran around the bed and asked him if he was alright. "I heard your voice when i was sleeping, i just couldn't wake up. I felt myself falling down, but i couldnt, i had to fight it, knowing you were here." he said.
He recovers more every day, the doctors say its a miracle that he is recovering so fast. He will be out of the hospital in about another month. He says that he is going to stop drinking. Just in case i've decided that im going to go on tour with them from now on, as the designated smart person. I will never let this be repeated with any of the guys. I love him too much to let him go somewhere that i can't follow.
More soon, sorry this one was sad...
It was Brian's birthday and i was upset because i couldn't spend it with him because Avenged Sevenfold is on tour. I called him that morning to wish him a happy birthday and i told him to enjoy himself tonight. To go have fun with the guys. That night i got a call from the rev saying that i needed to catch the first flight to new york that i could...
"Why? Whats wrong?" The panic in his voice caught me offguard. "Syns in the hospital, he might not make it..." It was like my world turned upside down. "WHAT HAPPENED!" i yelled. "He got drunk and decided that he wanted to go back to the hotel and he got hit by a truck when he was crossing the street... It all happened so fast, he didn't even see the truck... are you there!?" It took me a minute to respond. It was my fault, all my fault. i told him to have fun tonight. Now hes laying in a hospital bed...
"I have to get out there NOW!!" I yelled at the lady behind the desk. "All of the flights are full ma'am. Im sorry but youre going to have to wait until morning." the lady said calmly." I'll pay anything, i dont care what it costs!" i begged. "I'm sorry but there are no more seats available!" said the woman. "Bull shit. my husband could be dying right now!"
It had only been 20 minutes since i got the call but i felt as though every second that went by was counting down to the death of my soulmate. I couldnt get there fast enough. "Here take my ticket, im sure my boss will understand." said a woman in line waiting to check in her luggage. "Oh my God thank you so much" i said as i hugged her and gave her a roll of hundred dollar bills. "But this is way more that i payed for that ticket!" she yelled as i sprinted toward the gate. "Keep it!" i yelled back.
The plane landed and i got a taxi to the hospital, it had been four hours from the time i got the call. i got the room number and i sprinted up the staircase two steps at a time. As i burst through the door my heart sunk. there was the love of my life, covered in bandages with tubes sticking out of his nose, his mouth and the arm that was not wrapped in a cast. The heart rate monitor beeped weakly. i started to sob as i sat down in the chair by his bed. "Please dont leave me." i sobbed, "I need you, i cant live without you..." The door opened and Matt, Johnny, Zacky, and Jimmy entered. I stood up and hugged each of them. They all looked terrible. Jimmy was the last to hug me and he said "I'm so sorry, its all my fault. I should have payed more attention to him. There were a bunch of fans there, they were feeding him shots because he was too drunk to take them himself. I lost track of him and all of the sudden there were screeching tires and horns. We all ran outside but it was too late... Im so so sorry, please forgive me. I just hope that hes strong enough to make it through this."
The doctor said that he had broken both legs and his left arm. A few of his ribs were broken and one had punctured his left lung. On top of that he had a cracked pelvis and a concussion. He was in a drug induced coma so that his body could heal. "Im amazed that he lived through the crash alone but i have to be honest with you, there is a very small chance that he will live through this." I couldn't eat or sleep and i barely left his side. He was steadily recovering but they said it would be a while before they could remove the tubes and lift the coma. I slept in the chair by his bed and talked to him constantly, pleading with him to hang on, to get better.
Two weeks and a couple of surgeries later the coma was lifted and some of the tubes were removed, yet he didnt wake up. The doctors told me that this was temporary and that he would wake up any day now. i never left his side unless it was completely neccessary.
Two days later, as i was begging him to open his eyes, to say anything, he woke up. I was crying (it had become a new pastime for me) and i heard him say "Sshh its alright. Im still here." i froze and looked up to see him staring at me with his beautiful brown eyes. "Thank God!" i exclamed. "The doctors said you might not make it!" i sobbed into the blanket, "I dont know what i would have done without you..." He tried to reach his arm out to me when the I.V. in his wrist pulled. I practically ran around the bed and asked him if he was alright. "I heard your voice when i was sleeping, i just couldn't wake up. I felt myself falling down, but i couldnt, i had to fight it, knowing you were here." he said.
He recovers more every day, the doctors say its a miracle that he is recovering so fast. He will be out of the hospital in about another month. He says that he is going to stop drinking. Just in case i've decided that im going to go on tour with them from now on, as the designated smart person. I will never let this be repeated with any of the guys. I love him too much to let him go somewhere that i can't follow.
More soon, sorry this one was sad...
