2009
Writer-analyst and writes on various subjects such as philosophy, history, politics, psychology, religion and sciences.
Master's degrees in Psychology, Study of Consciousness & QM (quantum mechanics) and in Philosophy and also has diplomas in Management, Journalism and Counseling.
Author of two books - Chronicles of Desire and Reflections in Psychology(I).
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On identifying the true asexual considering both desire and practice...
Asexuality in humans is a rather confusing condition as asexuality may be socially, intellectually, psychologically or biologically induced. There are various ways of defining asexuality and it may be considered as a practice or a theory. Theoretically, an asexual is the one who does not have sexual feelings and desires towards either the opposite or same sex, whereas in practice an asexual is the one who refrains from sexual activity. Yet a person who engages in sexual activity but does not have sexual feelings have sometimes been considered an asexual and a person who does not engage in sexual activity for some reason is a celibate can also be an asexual. I would consider a proper asexual to be asexual both in theory and practice. Thus if a person engages in sexual activity mechanically and does not derive sexual pleasure from it, the very fact that he or she engages in sexual activity, makes him sexual. Even if a person does not engage in sexual activity and remains a celibate if he or she has complete sexual feelings towards the same or opposite sex or even towards no one in particular, he will not be considered asexual. Autoeroticism or autoerotic pleasure through masturbation and similar means does not imply asexuality but rather autosexuality, as the person seems to have complete sex drive but that is not directed towards any person and turned towards self. This may have something to do with homosexuality or narcissism and narcissists could be autosexuals or repressed homosexuals.
The biological basis of asexuality may be poor sex drive due to hormonal changes or brain damage especially in the region of hypothalamus or due to hypothyroidism, mental disorder and related physiological problems in the body. Autism, schizophrenia, depression and endocrinal imbalance can also cause asexuality. Late development of a sexual identity due to biological or psychological reasons may also lead to asexuality for a considerable period of time and sometimes can be a lifetime process. Autistic, schizoid, depressed personalities often have a biological basis for asexuality.
The psychological basis of asexuality varies from childhood sexual abuse/molestation to failed relationships although such people may still have deep sexual feelings and are only celibate and not strictly asexual. However very poor sex drive could be accompanied with the deep resentment for sex and this combination of biological and psychological factors would be the cause of asexuality. Many individuals with narcissistic and histrionic personality patterns could be asexual due to psychological reasons.
The social basis of asexuality can be training or personal vow, belonging to a religious or cultural group in which sex is prohibited or simply belonging to a society where asexuality is practiced. Men and women may prefer to remain virgins before marriage in some societies yet they would not be asexual in theory but only in practice due to cultural reasons, so such individuals are again celibate rather than asexual. There is for example, online community for asexuality and refraining from sex here is by maintaining celibacy although strict asexual individuals are the ones who have not only take a vow due to personal, religious or social beliefs but are also theoretically asexual and have biological basis for asexuality as well. Religious leaders for example follow the social basis of asexuality.
The intellectual asexual follows asexual lifestyle as a matter of choice. Philosophers and intellectuals and sometimes highly intelligent individuals can prefer to remain celibate and when accompanied by a low sex drive, they are often regarded as asexual as well. Yet this position is highly controversial as the intellectual and creative individual may be more interested in sublimating sexual impulses towards other creative activities and may consider sex as unnecessary or demeaning to their own moral and intellectual superiority. Intellectuals are however in most cases repressed in their sexuality rather than typically and completely asexual and they have philosophical or intellectual reasons for being so. Many philosophers such as Plato and Kant have remained asexual in their lifetime, although they could be considered as following a personal preference for celibacy rather than manifesting asexuality.
Asexuals may have an aversion towards sex or simply remain indifferent towards the sex act. They may suffer from a hypoactive sex drive, an inhibited sexual desire or simply sexual aversion. Since sex drive is also life drive according to psychoanalysis, a poor sex drive would be a poor life drive and asexuals may be completely unproductive. On the other hand, as in the case of intellectual or creative asexual, the sex or life drive which may actually be very strong is completely sublimated or channeled towards creative and intellectual activities so the individual may not be feel a need for sex. In this case thus, asexuality is not a consequence of lack of sex drive but rather a need to use it for other purposes. In an opposite direction asexuality can cause too much repression and consequent frustration and aggression that is suddenly manifested in criminal or antisocial activities. Like many creative artists and intellectuals, many criminals and antisocials can be asexual and the difference is whether the urges are diverted towards positive or negative directions in life.
According to the author (Ms Roy), a true asexual must have at least one biological and one psychological reason for not engaging in sex. Like any other abnormal sexual condition, asexuality s a combination of several factors and being influenced by various factors at once, it is very difficult to identify true asexuality as against celibacy. But let's say not having a sex drive at all due to hormones or repression or past abuse and also not engaging in sex is an indicator of asexuality. Thus a person who is autoerotic or prefers masturbation over the sexual act would not be considered as asexual. Psychological studies are mainly based on asexuals who are asexual in practice and thus such studies could be severely flawed as in these cases, people who are considered asexuals may still have latent or repressed sexual desire so they are theoretically not asexual and may have no difference with non asexuals in their level of sex drive. However asexuality could be successfully studied by psychologists with tests that would measure 'both' the desire to not have sex - the complete lack of sex drive as also the practice of actually refraining from sex. As of now, psychological tests have focused on measuring asexuality as the condition of 'not being sexually attracted to anyone'. However there may be huge manipulation and denial in subject responses and many people may simply not want to reveal to others or even to themselves that they have felt sexually attracted towards someone.
Ultimately the human mind is complex and denial or repression of desire is the easiest route when the need to repress or deny is greater than the need to express so even responses obtained in psychological tests may not completely reflect an individual's actual sexual drive. Finally the condition of asexuality remains as great a mystery as sex drive and the human mind and unless we have a deeper understanding of the process of thinking and desire, understanding sexuality or asexuality completely will remain elusive.
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Reflections in Psychology - Part I - by Saberi Roy (2009)
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Hope this will give satisfactory answers to your interrogations.
Huggz / Jj9
yea so title says a lot of it. I'm 14, he's 15
and we've been dating for almost 9 months. we go to different high schools, so we pretty much only see each other nights and weekends. he is super impulsive, serisoly.
and he's been talking about sex for like a month, but recently, he's become more aggressive/pushy. like if we were kissing, he would get ontop of me (which is pretty normal) except he will like kind of hold me down and start doing stuff. if I tell him to stop he stops what he's doing but doesn't move, he justs tries to talk me into it. he also has started kissing me up against the door. and he holds my shoulders/hips then to.
it's getting a little scary, I have bruises along my arms from him and on my hips. he just doesn't move if I tell him. I've started avoiding being alone with him but I can't do that forever. what should I do? what do I say? I know this sounds niave but I really like him and I want to avoid breaking up with him if it's possible.
and we've been dating for almost 9 months. we go to different high schools, so we pretty much only see each other nights and weekends. he is super impulsive, serisoly.
and he's been talking about sex for like a month, but recently, he's become more aggressive/pushy. like if we were kissing, he would get ontop of me (which is pretty normal) except he will like kind of hold me down and start doing stuff. if I tell him to stop he stops what he's doing but doesn't move, he justs tries to talk me into it. he also has started kissing me up against the door. and he holds my shoulders/hips then to.
it's getting a little scary, I have bruises along my arms from him and on my hips. he just doesn't move if I tell him. I've started avoiding being alone with him but I can't do that forever. what should I do? what do I say? I know this sounds niave but I really like him and I want to avoid breaking up with him if it's possible.
