Sex and Sexuality Question

i need help!!

Ok im 16 soon to be 17 and um... Yeah im a virgin... But the problem is that my boyfriend suddenly wants to have sex.. And he tells me he loves me and that he wants me to be all his and him all mine but I don’t feel ready.. When we are making out it always ends up with him in top of me and me saying (yelling) stop!! I really want my first time to be special... Not in a sofa... And I do love him but I don’t think he is the right one I want to give my virginity to. I would really appreciate some advice please I don’t know what to do…

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!! AND SERIOULSY IM TAKING EVERYBODY'S ADVICE THANKYOU AGAIN =)

pkrebelde posted over a year ago

aww leave him

swaggteam posted over a year ago

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Say what u think is right listen to what ur heat says and say it to him

shelbylovessex posted over a year ago

pkrebelde posted over a year ago

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Sex and Sexuality best answer

luinwen said:

If you don't feel ready, don't do it or you'll be regreting it always, I understand you don't want your first time o be on the sofa or the back of the car, talk with him tell him how you feel, if he really loves you he'll understand, if it stays the same Ithink it will be best if you leave him, a boyfriend that is trying to make you do something you don't want is not a good BF, is your body you decide when to have sex and with whom, good luck ^^

posted over a year ago

I absolutely agree. Never feel like you should have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable in order to keep him. If he leaves you because you aren't ready, then fuck him. But if he understands and is willing to wait for you, then fabulous. NEVER let any man do anything with you that you don't like. If you're constantly having to yell stop, that's not a good sign.

Cinders posted over a year ago

Addendum: I think it's wise to mention here that by "fuck him" I meant in the colloquial way, not in the literal way. I meant that he's not worth your time. ;o) In case that was misconstrued at all.

Cinders posted over a year ago

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Dude, quit wasting ur time. If u can't talk bout this stuff then leave. This a spot where we r ALLOWD to talk bout sex, sex, fcking, sex, and fcking. Get used to it

PonygirlCurtis7 posted over a year ago

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pashcpt7418 said:

Let me tell you something very important. Probably this might not make a different. However, I believed that it could help you further in the end. I know that your boyfriend is tempting you, trying to turn you on and every thing! However, if you feel that as you say, “I do love him but I don’t think he is the right one I want to give my virginity to.” You are not only fooling him, your fooling yourself as well. If you are not ready to have an intimate relationship right now, do not have one at all. I would suggest that you breakup with that relationship, before it breaks you up. With your question, you are not just telling me that you do not want to be with your boyfriend, you are also telling me that you are not ready for a long-term relationship. You need to focus on yourself first; build yourself first before you can build others. You will never be able to love others, if you do not learn to love yourself first! Best regards.

posted over a year ago

sapherequeen said:

Well, if I were you I would just continue to say no. If you're not ready, then you're not ready. Just keep doing the right thing and wait for that special someone is all I can say :)

posted over a year ago

estefy said:

you should tell him how you feel, if he really loves you then he won`t do anything that gives you grief or that you`re not ready to do. if he leaves you then he isn`t worth it. sex should be something that you enjoy not something that you have to worry about. you can`t rush yourself or your body. your first time should be special, no doubt, and it should be something that you`ll remember fondly

posted over a year ago

lorette said:

he's a virgin?./..so ..you should do what you want!.. don't let him do what he want from you.!!! maybe he doesn't loves you ! you should stay away for a time ! i think so..

posted over a year ago

shomill said:

Let me tell you something: if a guy is desperate to have sex with you, he'll say anything, absolutely ANYthing to get you to do it, including "I love you, I want to be with you always, I want to marry you." Tell him that if he really loves you, he can wait until you're damn good and ready!

posted over a year ago

want2watcheroes said:

Just do it when it feels right. Men are too horny and they may say anything to make you have sex with them lol.

posted over a year ago

bee--123 said:

if he wants it tell him u want it to be special

posted over a year ago

LabraLege said:

Your virginity is all yours, and he can't control it the way he wants without your opinion. And you have one: do it with someone special and he is not a right person. Think with your head. Don't let him to think for you

posted over a year ago

vider69 said:

He sounds like a person who is trying to rush you into something that you are not ready for yet and if he did love you he'd have more respect for your feelings, be straight up with him and firm, tell him how you feel, what you do and don't want and if he doesn't get that, then he's only after one thing.

posted over a year ago

Earthgirl13 said:

If you don't feel ready. DON'T DO IT. Also look at stuff like do you want to have a future with him? He'll wait if you're important to him.

posted over a year ago

gossipgirlxoxo said:

If you're not ready then you need to tell him that an if he really did love you he would respect your decision.

posted over a year ago

Quiztzhadrch said:

Ok, I'm gonna break from everyone else and say DO IT! Why? Because YOU want to and you know you want to and all you want to hear are reasons to the contrary because you're just scared! Unless you plan on saving it until marriage (bad idea by the way!) no amount of waiting or velvet drapes or cutesy stuff will help make it any easier. There will be NO perfect setting for it. Sure, more comfortable, or more private or whatever, but when it comes down to it, its always the same. He'll do you and soon after break up with you because he'll realize he's too young (and you are too) to commit to a steady relationship! If you're considering having sex then you are ready to make the decision to do it. Again, it just sounds to me like you want to hear all the reasons why not... just to go ahead and do it anyway! These obvious questions are just frustrating!

posted over a year ago

I disagree with a few things in your answer. First of all, you make too many assumptions. You're assuming that she wants to do it, when she's clearly stated that she's told him to stop and he hasn't listened. I agree that if two people want to have sex with each other, and they both feel they are emotionally and psychologically mature enough to deal with all the consequences of that, then they should go for it. But from the sound of it, she doesn't sound like she wants to do it at all. Also, you said that "if you're considering having sex then you are ready to make the decision and to do it." This isn't true. When I was with my first boyfriend, I considered sleeping with him, but I didn't, and to be honest, I was glad that I didn't because he was a sleezeball. So everything you said is not always true, and I don't think that this question is "obvious" at all. Remember, everyone is different. Everyone matures sexually at their own pace in their own way. And telling your boyfriend to stop when he keeps going is NOT a sign that you want to have sex, at least it's not to me. Also-- It's OK to be scared. So long as you know what you're afraid of, and what you should do with that fear.

Cinders posted over a year ago

ok, everything you just said is fine but I gave the male perspective. so right off the bat I knew one of you chicks would disagree immediately, so no surprises here. if a chick tells me she wants me to stop then proceeds to pleasure me, then its ON LIKE DONKEY KONG! and about your sleezebag boyfriend; THAT'S why he was your boyfriend, thats what deep down you dug about him.. that he was bad, something was wrong with him ect.. deny all this if you want but again: you're not a guy and we know what works.

Quiztzhadrch posted over a year ago

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"What works"? Oh, don't be an ass. Great sex is about mutual respect. If it's not there, it's not worth it. It sounds to me like you don't respect anyone, least of all the women you fuck (over), so I'm sorry for you for that. But you're right, men and women have different approcahes to sex. It's biology that makes us more selective about our partners, because remember-- we have more invested in it than you do. So if you want to be a primitive ape and think "no means yes," then I guess all we have to do is sit back and wait for you to get arrested.

Cinders posted over a year ago

You are getting me all wrong. I don't believe that no means yes or any of that nonsense. What I mean is that most young girls don't know what they want, but for sure if anyhting, they want attention and playing stupid mind games is the only way SOME of them get it. And, by the way, about your "investment", if a chick gets preggers and she doesnt want to have it she doesnt have to have it. But, if the chic wants to have it and the guy doesn't, who is really screwed then? And great sex FYI, is an act, not a relationship, so NO, you dont need to have mutual respect to come just as well as someone in love.

Quiztzhadrch posted over a year ago

I'm not saying you have to be in love, I'm saying that even in a one night stand, it's only great sex if you care about the other person's needs. The average woman needs twenty minutes of sexual activity to orgasm. Why do you think so many of them fake it? And the world is full of dead beat dads, if they want to be that way. It's also full of girls who give their guy a choice if they want to help raise the baby or not. Women are not conniving schemers who trap men into paying child support or marriage by getting pregnant. It's just as life-changing an experience for them, too. So no, the dad still has choices even if the mother chooses to keep and raise the baby. And if young girls don't know what they want, then maybe they should wait until they DO know what they want.

Cinders posted over a year ago

Let me begin by saying that the one thing we agree on is that this kid SHOULD wait, but I don't think she will. And she just wanted to share her experience with others, despite the probability that she already knows that she will do it. At least that's what it sounds like to me. SO as far as that item is concerned I guess we more or less agree. Now, as far as deadbeat dads, look, people don't change. If you pick a guy to lay with whatever issues or problems he might have all reflect on the fact that you made the decision to give it up to HIM. "Well he wasn't like that when we met.." Bullshit. Chicks are ALWAYS willing to overlook little details like his bad temper, lack of maturity, ect. to be with him. You and I and everyone reading this knows it to be true. So again, pregnation occurs and the female always has the last and only say in wether or not that kid is coming into the world. Furthermore, she cannot waive the child's rights by simply asking the guy if he wants to stick around or not. The STATE will GO after him in every case and make him pay up, should she apply for help, reports low income ect.. So even if its a verbal agreement between them, the dummy who didnt wear a jimmy is assed out. SO the guys choices are this, pay up for the next 18 years (by the way, actual proof of siring the child is NOT EVEN NECESSARY!), or the moron can try to hide. In this or any case, kids like the one who wrote in should wait to have sex, not because of emotional conditions, or religious beliefs, but because she can ruin 3 lives in the process; hers, hs and the baby's. Will she wait? My magic eightball says: Not Likely.

Quiztzhadrch posted over a year ago

You make it sound like she's the one with all the responsibility here. It takes two to tango, and in the majority of teenage cases, it's the horomone-driven male that instigates sexual activity, and pressures their partners into having sex. Some girls, whether they're ambivalent, confused, or just tired of arguing, will just give in to that pressure. I'm not trying to excuse that behavior-- girls should be stronger in saying no, especially if they're not sure-- I'm just saying that it's not like the girl walks up to a guy and says "Let's have sex so we can ruin both our lives." The guy has to think about what he's doing too. So to be honest, I don't have much sympathy for guys, even if they are chased down to pay child support, because he is part of the equation anyway. And back before paternity testing, all a guy needed was to "prove" that his girlfriend slept with at least one other man to brand her as a whore for the rest of her life and weasle out of his responisbility. My point is, that both young girls AND young boys have sex too early when they aren't mature enough to handle it. I'd rather have a girl come on here searching for reassurance in her choice of abstinence then one who doesn't and comes instead saying she made a mistake and got pregnant. Whatever this user chooses to do, we (or that is, the majority of us) advised her the best we could. It's up to her what she does with that advice. But women aren't the devil when it comes to sexual relations. They're young, scared and confused about their body, just like any young boy. And by the way, it's not so easy to give up a child for adoption, and even less easy to get an abortion, so these aren't choices that women make lightly. And I do know a girl who chose to tell her boyfriend that she's pregnant and gave him the choice, but she didn't "go after him" and he's not paying her a dime. She's raising her child with the help of her sister and her parents.

Cinders posted over a year ago

Everything you're saying is fine. You have no sympathy for guys. Ok. They're young and scared, Ok. it's not easy to give up a child for adoption, or abort, Ok. but let's not forget the points we've agreed on. Kids shouldn't F, but they do. Men should share the responsibility of child rearing, but many do not. Point is, I'm not saying what should be. I'm saying what IS. Now, the main problem here is that as adolecents guy classicaly instigate the sexual union, while girls resist. It's always been like that, it's true. So doesn't that illustrate my point that girls Do have the last word on accepting or declining sexual advances? On having an abortion or adoption? It's a fact that they do. "yeah but guys should.." no, no, no. IT is a FACT. So, moral fortitude, willpower, emotional stability are OUT. I will say for the last time; this "little girl" who in 2 more years will be able to vote in a presidential election, has pretty much decided how she's gonna handle HER problem... she just wants attention. Just one final obsevation before I lay this tired, tired mater to rest: your friend raising her child alone w/the help of family might not need him or his money now. but when, not if, WHEN she becomes bitter, or tired or needy enough to change her mind about their current status, all she would need to do is mak 1 call to the dept of state and they will collect for her rather than pay her anything. So, it's not about her or herchoices.. fools like that are living under the sword, just waiting for it to fall. So boys out there, you've heard how chics think; how they have no sympathy for young people who make mistakes (as long as they're not females) and how sweet, innocent attention hungry chics should be protected at all costs from "sleezbags" and "weasels" and "deadbeats." That's how they see us. Ok, then I say; don't date steady. Don't make promises. Be a jerk, cause that what all chics say about their ex-boyfriends.. after giving it up to them. And most importantly: Don't marry your High School sweetheart, it's almost always a disaster. Peace!

Quiztzhadrch posted over a year ago

Ps. if there are any final words on the matter..

Quiztzhadrch posted over a year ago

taylorRFan said:

Um...... Dont do it till ur maryed or have been 2gether for more than 3 or 4 years....... u dont want to be labled the school slut.... wich ur probably not bu still that would be really bad.......ya, plus you dont want to end up with a kid untill ur out of collage. =^-^=

posted over a year ago

princess829 said:

First of all, u need 2 tell yr bf the truth. u need 2 tell him that u love him and everything but u don't think it's right. if he starts getting like mad or anything, calm him down and then somehow in that time, tell him that u don't think he is the right one 2 have sex with. don't make him feel bad about himself or anything-cuz that always makes everything bad. but then if things just plain go really bad, break up. because at least u know u did the right thing and you won't regret getting pregant. because you'll know when the time is right. and hey-don't get down on yourself. you did everything u could. be proud of yourself!

posted over a year ago

lover09 said:

its up to you if you dont want sex tell your boyfriend and if he loves you he'll wait and if he dosent he dosent love you

posted over a year ago

stephmfan215 said:

i think that no matter what, dont do it. if u already know u dont want to, then ull regret it later. a lot of ppl think they WANT to have it and then regret it. ur already against it. tell him that ur not at all ready for it. say u want it 2 b special. tell him everything. and if hes a good boyfriend then he'll understand. and if he gets mad about it then dont blame urself cuz if u know ur not ready, then ur not ready. if this keeps happening then u may need to go to the point of telling him that u cant keep going out w him if he keeps doing that.

i hope this helps!!!

posted over a year ago

POYNETTEHATERZ said:

ok, i lost mine in a car okay tell him that you want to wait and that if keeps on going on top of you. you should say that you don't want him right now and that you still love him and wait like in the prom time. okay hope u follow my adive

posted over a year ago

jeftelover said:

tell him that your not ready.he wont make
you have sex with him.

posted over a year ago

You realize this topic is a year old right? o.0

CornChips posted over a year ago

oh............bye bye!

jeftelover posted over a year ago

Now it's 3 yrs old! :)

PonygirlCurtis7 posted over a year ago

sandiphardy said:

do you had squeeze boobs?

posted over a year ago

platelook said:

you sound like a smart girl and seem to know right from wrong and what you want,so keep going with that gut feeling you seem to have about him.if it doesnt feel right and you dont think he is the one then stay the course.you might also want to think about maybe ending this relationship.i am not telling you what to do i am just saying that might be what has to happen.there are guys out there who will understand and respect you and your decisions trust me.

posted over a year ago

kenzie001704 said:

lay the ground tell him ur feelings if he dont agreee figue something out comprimise

posted over a year ago

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i need help!!

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