Beep- Beep! Beep-Beep! Beep-Beep!
The sound of the clock cut into Ray Bat’s dreams like a needle. He tried to hit the snooze button without opening his eyes and only succeeded in knocking it on the floor, where it sat, still beeping.
“Ugh…” he got out of bed, picked the clock up and pushed the snooze button. Then he put it down and went downstairs. His roommate, Sam, came down a while later. Sam was a large eagle with an unhealthy obsession with chocolate. He looked up at the calendar. “I hate Tuesdays.” He muttered, getting some chocolate cake out of the fridge.
Ray looked up from his newspaper. “I thought you were on a diet.”
“You have to treat yourself from time to time.”
“I suppose so. Just don’t let Kate see you with that.”
“So, you decided where you’re going on holiday yet?”
“Florida is good this time of year. You seen this? Those god damn workers are still on strike. We get the bus to work AGAIN.”
Sam looked at the newspaper. “You have to get the bus. I got myself a bike.”
“You didn’t get yourself a bike, Sam. Kate got you the bike.”
“Oh, be quiet, would you? I’ve been planning to slim down a bit for years now anyway. The real reason I’m doing the exercise is because if I lose enough weight I’ll be able to take flying lessons.”
“Whatever. I’ll meet you at the store. I’m opening it at 9:00 today. Please turn up on time. I’m worried management might get a thing or two done without you.”
“Oh, shut up.”
Ray took the bus down to the store he and Sam owned.
The sign read:
Jokeinators. Taking practical jokes to a whole new level!
Jokeinators was a chain of joke shops all over the US. The company had been founded by Ray bat, Sam eagle and Benson gumball machine, who had left after the first few years. But this particular store was very special.
This store was the first Jokeinators store ever built. It was the company’s headquarters.
Ray walked round the back and used his key card to open the door.
Though from the outside the shop looked empty in the morning, inside the manufacture and storage parts were full of activity. The staff were rushing about, preparing for the day.
“Morning, Boss!” Don, the company’s accountant said to him as he walked past.
“Morning Don. You’re here early.”
“Yeah, we’re getting ready for the holidays. There’s a ton of things we accountants need to sort out during the last week.”
“I’ll leave you guys to it, then. I’ll be in the lab with Gabe and the boys if you need me. I just got to make a trip to management first to file these results. Sam’ll be here soon if he doesn’t get hit by a car again.”
Don laughed. “I remember the first time that happened.”
Ray said goodbye to Don and carried on towards the management wing. As he pushed the door open, a bucket came falling down. He caught it in his hands. He looked up and saw Kate, the deputy head of management standing there. She was a Canary. “Honestly, is that the best you can do?” he asked.
She laughed. “I’ll get you one day. What’s that?”
“Some results from Project E. Apparently the odour attracts chickens.”
“It does? Ew. Henry’ll be smothering himself in this stuff. That darned rooster. By the way, do you want me to run the store while you’re on holiday with that old friend of yours?”
“That would be great. Just don’t let anyone touch the stuff in the Brown cupboard. That’s Gabe’s stuff. It’s very dangerous.”
“Gabe is crazy. By the way, how’s Sam? Is the diet I put him on working?”
“Of course.” Ray said, barely managing to keep a straight face. Sam had obviously been eating a lot of chocolate recently, but Ray didn’t tell Kate that. It would be much funnier for everyone when Kate found out on her own.
“Good.” She said. “He should be ready for flying lessons by now. By the way, boss. You should take flying lessons.”
“Me? With my condition?” Ray said.
“Yeah. It’ll do you good. You can get around much more easily. How about you come with me and Sam when your holiday’s over? Come on, you can afford it. There’s not much you can’t afford.”
“Alright, fine. But expect Acrophobia. A lot of it.”
“You didn’t tell me you were afraid of heights, boss.”
“Yeah, well. I don’t exactly hand out my weaknesses to anyone that asks.”
“Alright. See you, then.”
“Bye.”
Ray left management and carried on to the Lab. Ray loved the lab. He had Sam do all the Management with Kate so that he and his friends could blow things up. Sam and Kate said his job was boring. They didn’t have a clue.
He found Gabe dangling a Bat doll over some of the newly invented Acid of Harmlessness.
The Acid of harmlessness acts like it is a boiling, sizzling alkalai, but it is actually just harmless, cold water. It tastes like water, too.
“Gabe, I find that highly offensive.” Ray said, putting on his lab coat.
“Dude, it’s the only test dummy we have left.”
“Ugh… nice acid, by the way.”
“Thanks dude. It all works off a physical compound of small electrons-“
“Gabe. I said it was nice. I didn’t ask for a backstory. By the way, I got us a radio. It’s for my last day on the job before I go over to Benson’s.”
“Benson. I remember him. But how come me and you get to start our holiday 3 days early and everyone else is stuck here until friday?”
“We have to leave 3 days early. It’s complicated. Just be glad i'm taking you.”
“Whatever.”
Gabe was a bored looking blue jay who worked on the company’s greatest endeavours with Ray. He had a crush on Kate, but after Sam had a quiet word with him in an alleyway he agreed to leave off.
Ray put the radio down and turned it on. Omen was playing.
“Dude!” Gabe shouted. “This is my jam!”
He pushed all his apparatus together and started playing the drum beat on it. Ray had to admit. It sounded exactly like the drum kit on the radio. Him and Gabe started to sing along to the song on the radio.
“Now! The writing’s on the wall! It won’t go away! It’s an omen, you just run the, automation…!”
Ray shrugged, pulled an electric guitar out of the cupboard and started playing along with Gabe.
Now they sounded exactly like the song on the radio. Ray was dancing around on the table with his electric guitar. The two of them didn’t even notice that they had knocked the radio off the table. It had hit the floor and shattered.
Then Kate came in. She put her hands on her hips. Ray noticed that Gabe had stopped drumming, turned round and noticed her. “Oh, hi Kate… How’d this thing get in my hands?”
He tossed the electric guitar out of the window. Someone bellow yelled in pain.
Kate shook her head in disbelief. “Phone call for you.” She muttered. Then she left.
===============================================================
A moment earlier. Benson had been talking to Mordecai in the kitchen.
“Your brother is coming over whether you like him or not. I don’t care if you hate him. He’s one of my best friends.“
“But he’s got that thing.”
“He can control that now. Besides, he’s changed. Last time you saw him, you were very young.”
“Well I don’t see why I should be bothered with him when he couldn’t be bothered with me.”
“Tough. It’s all organised now. He’s going to spend his week and a half off here and you’re going to get on. Or else. I’m going to call him now, check he’s still coming.”
“This is the worst week of my life.” Mordecai muttered. “First Rigby goes off with Angel and Margaret, now this.”
Benson picked up the phone and dialled.
A familiar voice answered.
“Hello. This is Kate, deputy head of Jokinators management department speaking, how can we help you today?”
“Hi. Is Ray there? I need to talk to him about his holiday.”
“Yeah, I’ll go and get him for you. Hold on.”
A moment later, someone else picked up the phone.
“Hello? I hope this isn’t another prank call. If it is, I warn you. I have heard them all.”
“Ray, it’s me. Benson.”
“Oh, hey Benson! What do you want?”
“I just called to check you’re still coming over on Wednesday.”
“Of course. Only death could stop me.”
“Alright, good. By the way… you remember your little brother?”
“Yeah…?”
“Well, he sort of works here.”
“What? He works in your park? What does he do? Is he in charge of anything? Does he run a shop?”
“Nothing like that. He clears the rubbish up and cleans the gutters.”
There is no way to emphasise the bitter disappointment in the single word that Ray said next.
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry, Ray.”
“It’s cool. Is he ok?”
“Depressed.” Benson said.
“Oh.” Ray said again.
“Well, see you tomorrow, I suppose.”
“Bye.”
Ray kept the dead phone to his ear for a few seconds. Then he put it down.
“Bad news?” Sam asked.
“Nope.” Ray said. “My brother’s a bit depressed, that’s all.”
He walked back to the lab and went back to making gags with Gabe.
The sound of the clock cut into Ray Bat’s dreams like a needle. He tried to hit the snooze button without opening his eyes and only succeeded in knocking it on the floor, where it sat, still beeping.
“Ugh…” he got out of bed, picked the clock up and pushed the snooze button. Then he put it down and went downstairs. His roommate, Sam, came down a while later. Sam was a large eagle with an unhealthy obsession with chocolate. He looked up at the calendar. “I hate Tuesdays.” He muttered, getting some chocolate cake out of the fridge.
Ray looked up from his newspaper. “I thought you were on a diet.”
“You have to treat yourself from time to time.”
“I suppose so. Just don’t let Kate see you with that.”
“So, you decided where you’re going on holiday yet?”
“Florida is good this time of year. You seen this? Those god damn workers are still on strike. We get the bus to work AGAIN.”
Sam looked at the newspaper. “You have to get the bus. I got myself a bike.”
“You didn’t get yourself a bike, Sam. Kate got you the bike.”
“Oh, be quiet, would you? I’ve been planning to slim down a bit for years now anyway. The real reason I’m doing the exercise is because if I lose enough weight I’ll be able to take flying lessons.”
“Whatever. I’ll meet you at the store. I’m opening it at 9:00 today. Please turn up on time. I’m worried management might get a thing or two done without you.”
“Oh, shut up.”
Ray took the bus down to the store he and Sam owned.
The sign read:
Jokeinators. Taking practical jokes to a whole new level!
Jokeinators was a chain of joke shops all over the US. The company had been founded by Ray bat, Sam eagle and Benson gumball machine, who had left after the first few years. But this particular store was very special.
This store was the first Jokeinators store ever built. It was the company’s headquarters.
Ray walked round the back and used his key card to open the door.
Though from the outside the shop looked empty in the morning, inside the manufacture and storage parts were full of activity. The staff were rushing about, preparing for the day.
“Morning, Boss!” Don, the company’s accountant said to him as he walked past.
“Morning Don. You’re here early.”
“Yeah, we’re getting ready for the holidays. There’s a ton of things we accountants need to sort out during the last week.”
“I’ll leave you guys to it, then. I’ll be in the lab with Gabe and the boys if you need me. I just got to make a trip to management first to file these results. Sam’ll be here soon if he doesn’t get hit by a car again.”
Don laughed. “I remember the first time that happened.”
Ray said goodbye to Don and carried on towards the management wing. As he pushed the door open, a bucket came falling down. He caught it in his hands. He looked up and saw Kate, the deputy head of management standing there. She was a Canary. “Honestly, is that the best you can do?” he asked.
She laughed. “I’ll get you one day. What’s that?”
“Some results from Project E. Apparently the odour attracts chickens.”
“It does? Ew. Henry’ll be smothering himself in this stuff. That darned rooster. By the way, do you want me to run the store while you’re on holiday with that old friend of yours?”
“That would be great. Just don’t let anyone touch the stuff in the Brown cupboard. That’s Gabe’s stuff. It’s very dangerous.”
“Gabe is crazy. By the way, how’s Sam? Is the diet I put him on working?”
“Of course.” Ray said, barely managing to keep a straight face. Sam had obviously been eating a lot of chocolate recently, but Ray didn’t tell Kate that. It would be much funnier for everyone when Kate found out on her own.
“Good.” She said. “He should be ready for flying lessons by now. By the way, boss. You should take flying lessons.”
“Me? With my condition?” Ray said.
“Yeah. It’ll do you good. You can get around much more easily. How about you come with me and Sam when your holiday’s over? Come on, you can afford it. There’s not much you can’t afford.”
“Alright, fine. But expect Acrophobia. A lot of it.”
“You didn’t tell me you were afraid of heights, boss.”
“Yeah, well. I don’t exactly hand out my weaknesses to anyone that asks.”
“Alright. See you, then.”
“Bye.”
Ray left management and carried on to the Lab. Ray loved the lab. He had Sam do all the Management with Kate so that he and his friends could blow things up. Sam and Kate said his job was boring. They didn’t have a clue.
He found Gabe dangling a Bat doll over some of the newly invented Acid of Harmlessness.
The Acid of harmlessness acts like it is a boiling, sizzling alkalai, but it is actually just harmless, cold water. It tastes like water, too.
“Gabe, I find that highly offensive.” Ray said, putting on his lab coat.
“Dude, it’s the only test dummy we have left.”
“Ugh… nice acid, by the way.”
“Thanks dude. It all works off a physical compound of small electrons-“
“Gabe. I said it was nice. I didn’t ask for a backstory. By the way, I got us a radio. It’s for my last day on the job before I go over to Benson’s.”
“Benson. I remember him. But how come me and you get to start our holiday 3 days early and everyone else is stuck here until friday?”
“We have to leave 3 days early. It’s complicated. Just be glad i'm taking you.”
“Whatever.”
Gabe was a bored looking blue jay who worked on the company’s greatest endeavours with Ray. He had a crush on Kate, but after Sam had a quiet word with him in an alleyway he agreed to leave off.
Ray put the radio down and turned it on. Omen was playing.
“Dude!” Gabe shouted. “This is my jam!”
He pushed all his apparatus together and started playing the drum beat on it. Ray had to admit. It sounded exactly like the drum kit on the radio. Him and Gabe started to sing along to the song on the radio.
“Now! The writing’s on the wall! It won’t go away! It’s an omen, you just run the, automation…!”
Ray shrugged, pulled an electric guitar out of the cupboard and started playing along with Gabe.
Now they sounded exactly like the song on the radio. Ray was dancing around on the table with his electric guitar. The two of them didn’t even notice that they had knocked the radio off the table. It had hit the floor and shattered.
Then Kate came in. She put her hands on her hips. Ray noticed that Gabe had stopped drumming, turned round and noticed her. “Oh, hi Kate… How’d this thing get in my hands?”
He tossed the electric guitar out of the window. Someone bellow yelled in pain.
Kate shook her head in disbelief. “Phone call for you.” She muttered. Then she left.
===============================================================
A moment earlier. Benson had been talking to Mordecai in the kitchen.
“Your brother is coming over whether you like him or not. I don’t care if you hate him. He’s one of my best friends.“
“But he’s got that thing.”
“He can control that now. Besides, he’s changed. Last time you saw him, you were very young.”
“Well I don’t see why I should be bothered with him when he couldn’t be bothered with me.”
“Tough. It’s all organised now. He’s going to spend his week and a half off here and you’re going to get on. Or else. I’m going to call him now, check he’s still coming.”
“This is the worst week of my life.” Mordecai muttered. “First Rigby goes off with Angel and Margaret, now this.”
Benson picked up the phone and dialled.
A familiar voice answered.
“Hello. This is Kate, deputy head of Jokinators management department speaking, how can we help you today?”
“Hi. Is Ray there? I need to talk to him about his holiday.”
“Yeah, I’ll go and get him for you. Hold on.”
A moment later, someone else picked up the phone.
“Hello? I hope this isn’t another prank call. If it is, I warn you. I have heard them all.”
“Ray, it’s me. Benson.”
“Oh, hey Benson! What do you want?”
“I just called to check you’re still coming over on Wednesday.”
“Of course. Only death could stop me.”
“Alright, good. By the way… you remember your little brother?”
“Yeah…?”
“Well, he sort of works here.”
“What? He works in your park? What does he do? Is he in charge of anything? Does he run a shop?”
“Nothing like that. He clears the rubbish up and cleans the gutters.”
There is no way to emphasise the bitter disappointment in the single word that Ray said next.
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry, Ray.”
“It’s cool. Is he ok?”
“Depressed.” Benson said.
“Oh.” Ray said again.
“Well, see you tomorrow, I suppose.”
“Bye.”
Ray kept the dead phone to his ear for a few seconds. Then he put it down.
“Bad news?” Sam asked.
“Nope.” Ray said. “My brother’s a bit depressed, that’s all.”
He walked back to the lab and went back to making gags with Gabe.