Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: next to my house
3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?".
The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.
Something To Do When You're Bored:
1. Catch a fly.
2. Put it in the freezer.
3. Wait 10 minutes.
4. Take out the fly, it will be unconcious, not dead.
5. Pull out a strand of hair or a thin piece of string.
6. Tie it around the fly.
7. Wait till it wakes up.
BAM! Your very own pet fly
When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation.
I almost died in Finding Nemo.
Husband (watching a video):
Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!
Wife: Honey, why you so mad? What'aya watching?
Husband: Our wedding ceremony.
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
and........two extras for my random buddies ( actually i thought only 10 will come out from my brain but its smarter than i think!)
If Mexicans are known to sell drugs, what is really in Dora's backpack. I've always thought that girl seemed a little Too happy.
Until 1961 it was illegal to attempt suicide in the UK.
The punishment was death.
if you like it ill post more!!!
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!"
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"
Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."
Police: where do u live?
Me: with my parents
Police: where does ur parents live?
Me: with me
Police: where do u all live?
Me: together
Police: where is ur house?
Me: next to my neighbors house
Police: where is your neighbors house?
Me: next to my house
3 drunk guys enterd a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?".
The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think its cute. I just think it's crazy how many people bring knives on a date.
Something To Do When You're Bored:
1. Catch a fly.
2. Put it in the freezer.
3. Wait 10 minutes.
4. Take out the fly, it will be unconcious, not dead.
5. Pull out a strand of hair or a thin piece of string.
6. Tie it around the fly.
7. Wait till it wakes up.
BAM! Your very own pet fly
When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation.
I almost died in Finding Nemo.
Husband (watching a video):
Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!
Wife: Honey, why you so mad? What'aya watching?
Husband: Our wedding ceremony.
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *walks away*
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
and........two extras for my random buddies ( actually i thought only 10 will come out from my brain but its smarter than i think!)
If Mexicans are known to sell drugs, what is really in Dora's backpack. I've always thought that girl seemed a little Too happy.
Until 1961 it was illegal to attempt suicide in the UK.
The punishment was death.
if you like it ill post more!!!
