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posted by anetted
Nathan's funniest quotes from three random episodes.

"One Tree Hill: Unopened Letter to the World (#2.15)" (2005)
Nathan: So you want me to tell you something about myself? I don't have anything to say. Even if I did you'd be wrong to believe me. Trust is a lie. Nobody ever knows any more.

Nathan: [on video for the time capsule] Voice mail. I hope you don't still got that crap.

Dan Scott: Nathan, how have you been?
Nathan Scott: Drunk. Bitter. Kinda like Mom.

Brooke: Thank you for coming, Nate.
Nathan Scott: Whatever, I just ran out of alcohol.

Nathan Scott: Evening, officer, buy us some beer?

Lucas Scott: Dan wanted revenge on Keith. That's why I'm staying with him.
Nathan Scott: Revenge for what?
Lucas Scott: Keith slept with your mom.
[Nathan laughs]
Lucas Scott: It's true.
Nathan Scott: Course it is! Nobody's faithful anymore, nobody can be trusted.
Lucas Scott: Yeah, well, Dan also hired Jules to make Keith fall in love with her.
Nathan Scott: It's outstanding! What else you got?
Lucas Scott: That's it. Stay with Dan... Keith and Jules get to be happy.
Nathan Scott: Yeah, 'till she sings a duet... and goes on tour.
Lucas Scott: She's got a dream, Nate.
Nathan Scott: No... no, she left to be with Chris. She kissed him, before she left.
Lucas Scott: I'm sorry.
Nathan Scott: Well, that's what she said when I called her.
Lucas Scott: I thought you said...
Nathan Scott: I lied!... She said she was sorry. Said she loved me and it wasn't about Chris. She just... needs some time to figure everything out. You believe that? Because, if I love her... and if she loves me, what's there to figure out?


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"One Tree Hill: Just Watch the Fireworks (#3.15)" (2006)
Dallas: Great song huh.
Nathan Scott: Yeah.
Dallas: You're uh, Haley's husband right?
Nathan Scott: Yeah.
Dallas: [shakes Nathan's hands] Dallas, Epic Records. She's talented. I gotta be honest though. It's a shame she's not touring. She must really love you.

Nathan Scott: Do you ever think we can have a function in this town that doesn't end up in a brawl?
Lucas Eugene Scott: Why? Getting a little too "Outsiders" for you?
Nathan Scott: I never saw it.
Lucas Eugene Scott: Well, you would have been one of the bad guys.
Nathan Scott: Oh sh*t!
Lucas Eugene Scott: You know... about what I said in the time capsule... with Dan.
Nathan Scott: Whatever man... We're cool!

Nathan Scott: [from the time capsule] People think that if you love somebody hard enough then everything is just gonna work out. People are wrong. 50 years from now, I hope you got what you wanted Haley, but getting married to you was the worst mistake of my life. Here's a little advice, never get married. In the end, you're only be miserable.

Nathan Scott: Listen, about the time capsule...
Haley James Scott: Ah, you looked beautiful. Sorry, umm... I guess you should have been there. Okay, listen I just wanted to apologize for avoiding you, avoiding this, I really just don't wanna ruin how we've been lately with these wonderful nights.
Nathan Scott: I know and look I'm sorry about what I said on the stupid time capsule. You weren't supposed to hear that. I mean, "this" you weren't supposed to hear that now when things are going so good with us, you know?

Nathan Scott: Haley?
Haley James Scott: [sitting under the table] Oh hey, under here.
Nathan Scott: What the hell are you doing?
Haley James Scott: You know, just hanging out under the vanity. Singing the Finale to Les Miserable. Right before the first time I had to play the tour, I got really nervous, so I ending up hiding under a desk and I just sang that song over and over again . It was kinda the only thing that would calm me down. So, What you dont have any pregame rituals?
Nathan Scott: No. What are you worried about? I mean, you got the home court advantage. You played infront of this many people before.
Haley James Scott: I know. I'm not worried about playing in front of hundreds of people, that I can do in my sleep. Im scared of playing in front of one in particular. This is my first time playing out since the tour and its my first time playing since you and I have been us again. And I saw yout time capsule and I just got scared.
Nathan Scott: Of what?
Haley James Scott: Loving it again, of you seeing me love it again. I just, I'm afraid your going to think that it somehow means that I love you less.

Nathan Scott: Don't be afraid to love it, Haley. Alright?
[slaps her a$$]
Haley James Scott: Hey!
Nathan Scott: Sorry! Pre-game ritual.
Haley James Scott: Yeah, I'll bet


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"One Tree Hill: The Search for Something More (#1.8)" (2003)
Nathan: I called your house, your mom said you were here.
Haley James: Great. I'll be sure to lie to her next time.
Nathan: Look I didn't know that Brooke read that note okay. I didn't even know there was a note until later. I wouldn't do that to you.
Haley James: Okay.
Nathan: Great so we're cool?
Haley James: No we're not.
Nathan: Well you believe me right?
Haley James: Yeah I believe you're sorry.
Nathan: Well then what?
Haley James: Look this whole tutoring, hanging out whatever this is thing. It's just a bad idea. I'm done. Just done.

[Haley and Nathan are having dinner]
Nathan Scott: So you couldn't have ordered a lobster?
Haley James: Dude, macaroni and cheese is food of the Gods.
Nathan Scott: Yeah if the Gods are five-year-olds.

[Haley and Nathan are on a date, Tim and some buddies walk up]
Tim Smith: Hey Nathan, what's up man?
[looks at Haley]
Nathan Scott: Hey guys, you know Haley, she's my tutor...
Tim Smith: This looks a lot like a date to me
Nathan Scott: No man, definitely not
Tim Smith: All right, see you later
[leaves]
Nathan Scott: I'm sorry about that...
Haley James: [cutting Nathan off] Are you embarrassed to be seen with me? And why are you only nice to me when we're alone?
Nathan Scott: It's just...
Haley James: ...You know, for an hour you almost got me to believe that you're not a son of a bitch but, God, you fooled me again.

[Nathan is outside Haley's house throwing rocks at a window, Haley walks up behind him]
Haley James: Trying to wake up my parents? That's their room...
Nathan Scott: [runs over to Haley] Wait, Haley, look I need to apologize, okay?
Haley James: You should buy 'em in bulk if your gonna hand apologies out that often.
Nathan Scott: Look will you just... I don't know how to do this all right...? I'm... I'm not like you
Haley James: What does that mean?
Nathan Scott: All right, I screw up a lot, all right... and being around you I just I don't wanna be that guy any more.
Haley James: Well, who do you wanna be, Nathan?
Nathan Scott: I wanna be somebody who's good enough to be seen with you.
Haley James: You should've thought of that last night... You know I keep... I keep putting myself out there and you keep blowing it and it's probably a good thing because at this point there is nothing that you can say or do that's gonna surprise me!
[Nathan cuts her off with a kiss]
Haley James: Except that... You shouldn't have done that Nathan...
Nathan Scott: But I wanted to...
Haley James: Yeah...
[jumps onto Nathan and starts kissing him]

Jake Jaglieski: Sorry I'm late, Coach.
Coach Whitey Durham: Why should today be any different, Jageilski? Move your ass. The rest of you ladies start defense drills, pronto.
[walk out]
Nathan: Why is coach so easy on you, Jageilski?
Tim Smith: If I'm late I get wind sprints.
Jake Jaglieski: We party together.
Tim Smith: Maybe they're lovers.
Nathan: [to Tim and Jake] Why, did you two break up?
[Nathan and Tim leave]
Lucas: So, anyway, man, what's the deal? What's going on? You know, you're out sick all the time, and you come in late and cut out early. I don't understand. Coach just lets you.
Jake Jaglieski: [getting changed] Just helping me out.
Lucas: Meaning?
Jake Jaglieski: Meaning he's just helping me out.
Lucas: All right.
[Lucas leaves and Jake leans against his locker and sighs]
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