'So when are we going' I asked Harry the next day. 'Tomorrow' he answered. 'Cool' I told him. I started to pack.I was a bit thirsty so I went to get coke. I spotted Zayn by the sink. 'Hey Zayn.'I said .Zayn grabbed me and shoved me into a closet. 'Right you can't tell anyone'he said 'Tell anyone what?' I was really confused. 'That I'm throwing a surprise birthday for ...........' he told me all the details. 'Ok' I said 'But wait until I'm back' I took a can of coke and left. The next morning Harry woke me up at 5 in the morning. 'I'm too tired' I complained. He grabbed my duvet off me and threw it on the floor.I jumbed out of bed and knocked him to the ground.He banged his head of the bed and he twisted his ankle! 'Get off me' he told me. I got off him and got dressed. 'Let's go' I told him. 'What about Leah and Niall' he asked. 'Oh ya' I said. We woke them and the boys called a taxi. Harry came in. 'Harry I'm tired.' He took the hint and carried me out! It tool a while to get to the airport but I slept on Harry's lap the whole way. I felt sorry for Leah because Niall was in the front she had no one to cuddle! When we arrived Harry bought me some coke,a bag of minstrels and a magazine. 'Thanks' I told him. We got on the plane at 9. I slept the most of the way so I was fine.Harry woke me up suddenly and said 'Look we're here' I was in LA with my superstar boyfriend! How much better can life get?
This we knew. We didn't expect Louis to start revealing the more intimate details of their relationship this early on though. We thought maybe he'd wait until Harry cheated on him with a footballer and Louis could cash in with a kiss 'n' tell.
Or story of willy whacking, as this seems to be.
"Harry likes to pull his trousers down," Louis told Celebs On Sunday.
"You do Harry, you're always getting your bum out.
"I've been asleep before and Harry has hit me round the head with his penis.
"It actually wrapped around my whole face. Who wouldn't be envious of that?"