Once Upon a Time recap: 'Last Rites' 

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promised death…and as Hades came to Storybrooke, death was delivered. (As was Regina’s unhappiness, yet again. This girl

catch a break.) Arriving back in the land of the living, a happy Hades relished in being himself again, with a beating heart, a baby and his one true love. But Zelena is distracted and worried because Regina isn’t here like she expected. Hades assures her she’ll be along eventually, but Zelena decides to go looking for her and leaves the baby with Hades. Because he’s changed by love now, which qualifies him for a babysitting job, I guess. After Zelena leaves, a distraught King Arthur has the misfortune of meeting the God of the Underworld. They bond over being destined to rule a kingdom, and waddya know: Hades needs help ruling the kingdom he just left, and so…bye bye, Arthur. Sorry to see you go.

A confused Arthur arrives at the Blind Witch’s diner in the Underworld and meets Hook, who’s just hanging out, being trapped there and all. Hook wants to know who killed him, and when he finds out that Hades has returned to the real world, Hook convinces a less-than-enthused Arthur to take on a bro quest to find Hades’ weakness — in the hopes of also maybe figuring out Arthur’s unfinished business. Because really, anywhere is better than the Underworld.

Meanwhile, a happy Charming family reunion is happening at home since, unbeknownst to Snow, everyone got out after all. Well, almost everyone. Emma isn’t in a good place, and I can’t blame her. Merida brings Emma and Charming to Arthur’s body, where Emma realizes they need to kill Hades. She’s probably talking out of revenge grief, but hey, it’s a solid plan. Zelena finds Regina and Robin, and Regina demands answers of her sister. Zelena is convinced Hades has changed and refuses to believe Regina’s stories about how he tricked them into being trapped in the Underworld because love ALWAYS changes people. Zelena goes to Hades and tells him that Regina threatened her, and Hades says he can’t lose her or the baby. He tells Zelena he’ll give up his freedom and basically anything for Zelena, who is SO INTO THIS that she begs him not to do that because she can’t lose him again. She agrees they need to defend themselves, which leads Hades to reveal the Olympian Crystal: a powerful magical object that belonged to Zeus. The Olympian Crystal is special because it doesn’t just kill you — it ends you. No afterlife, no moving on, no Underworld. Just poof! Zeus didn’t want his brother to have it, so he broke it, and because Hades didn’t have a heart, he couldn’t put it back together. Now, though, he can fix it. And they can rule Storybrooke together! Zelena is actually kind of “eh” at this prospect; she just wants to be happy in a nice house with a picket fence and maybe some homemade scones. Well, so does Hades, but these so-called friends, including her sister, might not give them a chance. They’re interrupted by a phone call from Rumple, who has found out about Hades’ return via Emma. He offers protection in exchange for the crystal.

When the crew meets again, Regina reveals that Zelena has put a protection spell on the Town Hall — but there are secret tunnels that she can access that will allow them to hopefully find Zelena and talk sense into her and save her baby. Emma wants to join this rescue mission, but she’s shot down by almost everyone who thinks she’s making poor judgment calls right now (and they’d be right.) Robin goes instead, which basically makes more sense anyway, considering he’s the father.

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