10 ways to Annoy Bella Swan

10. Ask about Mike.

9. Ask about Eric.

8. Ask about Jacob.

7. Ask about Edward.

6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.

5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.

4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.

3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.

2. Tell her we all...