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Saten is trying to do tryouts for a play, the coach becomes frustrated with poor acts, Saten's rival sabotages his performance and gets him cut.

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Saten returns home, angry, Sword calls to him from a vent in the house where he was trapped chasing a dropped piece of Skittles candy, and if Saten gets him out he'll help in return.

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BEDROOM / Sword had escaped.

Sword: I use to do characters and back before I met you guys (shows scrapbook) I was half of the most popular ventril-agrgah act in the world. My partner Dennis didn't know the first thing about ventril-gahvel. But it didn't matter, because I do all the work.

Saten: Hmm. Almost sounds too good to be true.

Sword: That's the spirit!

Sword goes to a closet

Sword: Step one.. (pulls out facepaint kit) I have to apply several layers of this pungent lacquer face paint to really make it look like I'm made out of wood.. Which is important, because almost all of my material is wood-based puns.

Saten: (sniffs) Aw, it smells.

Sword: Uh huh.. Now next (shoves something into his ears, he's committed, I give him that) painful prosthetics to give me fully-flappable eyebrows and ears. And finally, (pulls out needle) I inject just a scosche of paralyzing agent into my arms and legs.

Sword infects himself, his arms fall flat and he moves like he's wooden.

Saten: Wow, you move just like a dumm- (Sword slaps him)

Sword: ... Now Saten.. Why do you think I slapped you? It's because you used a certain word. Do you know what that word is?

Saten: Is it... ( Thwack! )

Sword: That's right! Never, ever call me a dummy. The word "dummy" is degrading. I am a manually-articulated perfomative kinesio-maquette... named Dudley Dingleberry.

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Saten's new prefamance goes over well, Sword making everyone laugh with cheesy wood puns.

Saten: Wow, it worked. Everyone really thinks you're a du... (Sword turns over to him)

Sword: A what, Twist?

Saten: Du- Dudley. I was gonna say Dudley.

Sword: (deadpan) They all think I'm a Dudley? That's what you were gonna say?

Suddenly one of the performers is rushed in, she having a broken leg.

Pony holding her: The brakes on Carla's bike somehow gave out! And she crashed right into the flagpole!

Sword.(high pitched voice): Whaaat, who would do that!

Saten: What?

Sword: Looks like she.. Took a tumble.

(Everyone laughs, including Carla)

Saten: That kind of humour isn't exactly to my taste, but I think we got a good shot at winning this thing.

Sword: Yes. We're gonna kill the competition!

Sword's demeanour slowly changes to one of menace towards the other contestants. When Saten's singing rival insults him, Sword follows him to a darkened weight room. Eventually he grabs the barbell and with a terrifying evil smile he is seen dropping it onto him.

Saten confronts Sword when he finds out, and Sword says "the bar was lowered".

Saten: That, wasn't really an answer, but alright..

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Sword's behaviour continues to worsen to the point he traps Derpy in a sauna to incapacitate her from the competition, only ones left are Saten and Glaze. But Saten had enough and confronts Sword, as this is actually very out of character for him, but he finds that Sword has entered a catatonic state. He further finds that the former ventriloquism partner was locked away in an asylum for murders caused by Dudley Dinkleberry. Saten puts together that something deeper is going on than just Sword being Sword.

He returns home, Sword still in his state and Saten reads the kit.

Saten: "Industrial airplane paint. Inhalation may cause temporary psychosis! That's it! All right, buddy. All I have to do is get that makeup off you, and everything will go back to normal. (In the background Dudley Dinkleberry slowly turns his head to him) We'll have to forfeit the talent show, but it's a small price to... (Sees Sword gone) H Hello?

Sword reappears in front of him and leaps onto him.

Saten: AHHH!

Sword/Dudley:: (holding out tranquillizer needle) (Mechanical Laughter)

Saten: AHH! (gets injected)

Sword/Dudley: (Mechanical Laughter)

Saten falls unconscious.

Sword/Dudley: (evilly) The show must go on... (sees Trixie holding book)

Trixie: A... am I early for book club?

Sword/Dudley: (angrily) No, you're late! And that's two weeks in a row! You're out!

Trixie: (looks down sadly) I didn't read it anyway.

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After an unknown amount of time Saten Twist awakens in the backroom of a stage, the now possessed Sword singing to himself, and says he injected Saten with paralyzer fluid.

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Sword wins them the competition with horribly bad wood puns but still makes the crowd wet themselves.

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Sword/Dudley: Congrats Saten, despite all your efforts to remain a loser, I made you a winner- Aw crap

Sword falls down, pretending to be a doll as Glaze pulls over a large water tank for her act.

Glaze: All tucked out huh? Well wish me luck dude.

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Evil Sword throws Saten and himself back into original backstage room.

Sword/Dudley: Looks like green is bringing her A game, I hadn't really considered her a threat, which is why she's the only other competitor.. But fear not, escape tricks don't work if you "can't escape". (Grabs broomstick)

Saten: (slowly breaks free from drug) Sword.. No..

Sword/Dudley: Hmm, looks like your starting to recover.. But tuck you away, just… (gulligan cut to him locking Saten in a suitcase) … In case.. Had to pause for 5 minutes in the middle of my sentence, but worth it.

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Sword/Dudley sneaks over to Glaze in her performance and traps her inside with the broomstick, Saten breaks free of the trunk but can't save her.

Sword/Dudley: Too late red man, you can't save Glaze with your weak little arms, so you may as well sit back, and enjoy the show.. (evil laugh)

Saten panickly looks for a means to break the glass and spots a revolver near Sword, apparently not a prop after-all.

Saten: (smirks) Hey Dinkleberry!

Sword/Dudley (flatly): Yes?

Saten: I may be paralyzed right now, but your still.. A dummy! (Dudley becomes angry and grabs the gun pointing it at him from close range)

Sword/Dudley: Say it one more time.

Saten: (glare) A dum- (Dudley shoots him) AHHH (bullet goes though his arm and breaks the glass tank, not only saving Glaze, but the water knocking Sword back to himself, Saten is seen sobbing about his wound)

Sword: Oh shit, somebody shot Saten.. (notices gun) Oh shit, I shot Saten!

Saten: (sword pokes hoof into bullet wound) AHHH!

Sword: Aw, gross.. (grabs him) come on.. (drags him away)

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The two boys are back at the apartment, Saten has cast.

Sword: … Oh yeah, that's why I stopped using that character. The makeup is cursed or something. (Chuckles) Totally slipped my mind.

Saten: And I learned…

Sword: Now to make sure I never use this stuff again.. (tucks it into closed with sloppily placed sticky note "do not use".. Which immediately falls off, along with many similar warnings, one of them being "Derpy do 'not' eat this".
posted by mariofan14
To me, it sounds like the same old thing from every song. It's like:

"I love to drink me some beer and play-ay-ay on my guitar. I love my truck to drive in and shoot deer."

How do songs like that even get famous? It's a turnoff for me, and when I hear it on the radio, I don't even want to hear it. It's all acoustics and shit like that. Why would people want to listen to it when they can listen to something else, such as rock or rap?

I just hate country music, and if you like it, don't send me hate.
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, deviantart, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, deviantart, joyreactor
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Gordon got Case Cracker, and Sprocket back at the pizzeria. Jim was waiting outside for them.

Jim: Great, you got back in time. Fillydelphia is trying to get over here from Oatland. I need you to get over to Bay Bridge, and prevent them from getting onto our side.
Gordon: We're on our way. *Drives to the Bay Bridge*
Case Cracker: How are we going to stop them?
Sprocket: Block the bridge off.
Gordon: That's a good idea. We block them off, they can't pass, and we kill them. *Sees the part of the bridge where cars get off*
Sprocket: I don't want this car to be used in the roadblock.
Gordon: *Stops...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Next morning, Gordon arrives at the pizzeria in his car.

Gordon: *Sits with Jim, and Sprocket* Where's Case?
Jim: He's here.
Case Cracker: *Walks over to table* Sup? *Sits*
Jim: See?
Gordon: Yeah, I'm not blind.
Jim: Yeah, whatever. Now listen, Sam has a job for you. He wants you to steal this Dodge Kodachrome, and bring it to his house.
Gordon: Where can we find it?
Jim: There's a dealership not far away from here that has one. You could walk there, and take it.
Sprocket: That'll be easy.
Gordon: Alright, we're on our way. *Stands up, and leaves pizzeria*
Sprocket: *Walks with Case Cracker behind...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
At the pizzeria in Mane Ashbury, San Franciscolt

Jim: *Sitting* You told him to come here, right?
Gordon: I sent him a message, but he didn't reply. I'm not sure if he got it or not.
Jim: Well, I hope he remembers to meet us here. We're gonna have a good time. *Sees clock* Hold up, I'll be back.
Gordon: Where are you going?
Jim: I gotta meet somepony at the trainstation. *Leaving pizzeria* I'll be back.
Gordon: *Stays at pizzeria*
Waiter: May I get you anything else?
Gordon: Just a sprite.
Waiter: Coming right up. *Goes to get drink*

Eight minutes later.

Case Cracker: *Gets out of a taxi cab...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Princess Celestia

Starring Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Derpy as theirselves
Blaze as Jonathan (For this skit, he's bald.)
Cosmic Rainbow as Chrysler (For this skit, he has a mustache.)
Mortomis as Bryan
Saten Twist as Timothy
Double Scoop as Skeletor
Master Sword as Harry
Sophie Shimmer as Alexis
Astrel Sky as Jenny

Derpy entered Celestia's office.

Derpy: It appears Twilight is up to her tricks again. What are your thoughts?
Celestia: I thought we were finally done with this nonsense. But I guess not. I was having a nice rest, now this! God only knows what kind of shenanigans she has in store...
continue reading...
Theme song >>>> link

Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*

Ponies On The Rails

Starring the Union Pacific ponies

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye:...
continue reading...
#4: MISTREATMENT OF TRIXIE:
This isn't like last time, were the ONLY reason I am sticking up for Trixie, is because she's just so adorable to look at.
No, no, this time I am NOT denying that Trixie was quite annoying.
That she was stubborn and over confident in herself.
And that she lied to an entire town, just for the attention.
And she did indeed deserve to be punished for her lies and rudeness.
But come on..
Did she really deserve to be shunned and mocked by all of Equestria, and lose her job as a magician and work as a rock farmer..

#3: MISTREATMENT OF IRON WILL:
Most fans label Iron Will as a...
continue reading...
posted by Canada24
#5: TWILIGHT SEGA:
Frankly, I don't think ANYBODY watches this series.
Or 50 shades of grey for that matter.
But I'm putting them both on the list anyway..

#4: 50 SHADES OF GREY:

#3: SCREAM SERIES:
A parody of the horror genre.
But the first movie would of been actually scary, if they actually bothered to have decent actors.
And to not have a villain, who's about as frightening as tampon commercials..

#2: EQUESTRIA GIRLS:
It's not that it's a BAD movie.
It's probably a great movie.
But something about the characters becoming humanised, it kinda creeps me out..

#1: FROZEN:
I know what you gonna say.
You...
continue reading...
posted by Canada24
AJ: She left us!?

Pinkamena: That's what Twiliy said... Claimed that being princess means you guys are no longer good enough for her... (conveniently) Except me. She still likes me..

Rarity: What about Flutterhy!? She's missing as well..

Pinamena: Oh.. Well.. (nervously) I wouldn't know anything about that.

ONE WEEK EARLIER:

Pinkamena: Wakey. Wakey. Fluttershy..

Fluttershy: (wakes up only to discover she's tied up. And sees. Much to her horror. A huge saw like device above her head, same one from CUPCAKES - GET READY TO DIE) P- Please let me go!

Pinkamena: Can't.. Your on the list.. And my customers...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*

Ponies On The Rails

Starring the Union Pacific ponies

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*

Ponies On The Rails

Starring the Union Pacific ponies

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye:...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, facebook
Rarity after spilling mud on AppleJack's dress and finlky snapped out her attempts of impressing Trenderhoof by behaving like AppleaJack.

This got even worse for Rarity when she realised it was actually Rarity's own dress, and ran to clean it.

Saten awkwardly approached AppleJack. "That's uhh.. A lovely outfit" Saten said nervously.

"Well.. Thanks. I was only wearing it to snap Rarity out of annoying state.. It's kinda itchy actually" AppleJack insisted.

"Oh.. Well.. Dose this mean Trenderhoof will leave you alone?" Saten asked.

"Ah guess.. But ah'm glad you to know you actually 'do' care for me" AppleJack admitted.

"I guess" Saten said a bit awkwardly.

"... Say. You wanna get some lunch together?" AppleJack asked.

"Of coarse" Saten said excitedly.

AppleJack smiled, rather cutely.



Well. I know this sucked. But just needed to end the story.

So..

END OF EPISODE ONE..
Ever since one of my favorite episodes of Season 4 came out, which was Flight To The Finish, only one thing has crossed my mind: Scootaloo needs to fucking fly. Diamond Tiara went ableism on Scootaloo, amd that drove me over the edge. My instinct after the episode? Time to win some races! I ended up winning about 900, all told, from the end of that episode until today. I then retroactively added all other racing game wins I accrued, making my total more like 4,200. Add my sports game wins, and you're looking at 4,550. Add the rest of my wins in games that count them, and now you have a total...
continue reading...
Episode 10: Quicksilver

Me: *Reading X-Men #4 in a small park near Cloudsdale*

Scootaloo: *Approaches me* Hello Nick,

Me: Hello Scootaloo. How are you?

Scootaloo: Good, I guess. Can I ask you something?

Me: Sure.

Scootaloo: My friends Applebloom and Sweetie Belle both look up to superheroes, like Captain Marvel and Spider Man, but now I don’t have one. Can you find me a hero who is fast and cool at the same time?

Me: Well, the first one that comes to mind is the mutant Quicksilver.

Scootaloo: Quicksilver?

Me: Quicksilver, aka Pietro Maximoff, is the twin brother of Scarlet Witch. He has super speed...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
Episode 4: Thor Odinson

Me: *Reading Journey Into Mystery #83* in the park*

Rarity: *Sees what I'm reading* Who is that man in the book? And why does he look like such a hunk?

Me: Oh, his name is Thor.

Rarity: Thor?

Me: Thor is an Asgardian, sent to Earth by his father, Odin, to learn humility. He had a human identity named Donald Blake.

Rarity: Donald Blake? How drab...

Me: Anyways, Thor had been going on many adventures, such as the Destroyer, an enchanted suit of armor made by Odin, but stolen by Loki in Journey Into Mystery #118.

Rarity: Loki?

Me: Loki is Thor's evil brother.

Rarity: Oh.

Me: Thor...
continue reading...
Alright..

So I found this bizarre MLP story.
That ruins some of my favorite character Twilight and AppleJack, by using the theme of INCEST..

Fuckin incest! Why dose that even excist!?

I thought I stopped having to deal with fuckin incest after no longer reading Alpha & Omega stories.

But nope.
Even my little pony has it.
Just ask Friendship is Witchcraft.

This story is about Twilight and AppleJack switching minds, so I guess in a way it's not incest, but, my mind will forever KNOW it is.

Anyway..

don't EVER read this story.
But if you really have to,
Afried your on your own for finding it..