My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Club
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Anyone remember the days of how this club- no, this WEBSITE- used to be? I do. I remember it as a place full of great people, ideas, and extravagant conversation.

It was also full of assholes, trolls, conflict, and arguments.

But was that bad? Nah, not really. I like conflict. Can't be a sword without being forged in flame, amirite? Hardships make the soul stronger.

And, unlike how the club is now, it's not so BORING.
I mean really, coming back to the site as it is now, I fully realize why I left in the first place.

This place is so BORING. I mean, maybe it's because i've grown intellectually over time, but nothing here is stimulating me intellectually. Every time a potential conflict is brought up, it's snuffed out immediately, as if it was never going to happen. and that's so BORING.

I feel I should be partially to blame for this, I guess. There were a few cases where conflict was almost sparked and I intentionally snuffed it out, because I didn't want anyone to go through the bullshit of a week-long argument that used to be on a regular basis in the old days.

And I realized just now that there's really no fun in that. This place is so dry, you'd think that it was an African server or something. It's like a burger- it's not tasty without substance or spice.

The old days where arguments were rampant, those were fun. I actually started my first relationship because of a troll, you know. Didn't end well, but that's water on the bridge, I guess.

And these days I feel like there's an air of ignorance on this club. It's like no one here knows anything OTHER than the club.

And I'm about to insult a big portion of the club, so get ready to hate me in
3.
2...
1- THE FUCKING FANFICTIONS

Oh my god, this has always been a problem, I know, but the FANFICTIONS here are soooo stupid!

I only read the first page at a time, to see if it's still a thing, but oh my god it is.
There's no descriptive detail. At all. It's written like a bunch of amateurs would write out RPGs in Habbo Hotel (basically none of you are going to understand that, so I'm just gonna give an example).
Here's how an rpg on habbo hotel would've gone (this example is from a pokemon rpg room)

btpoke: *I use thunderbolt*
btpoke: *it's a hit*
aerowing64: *I dodge it*
aerowing64: Oh sh*t, I didn't type fast enough to dodge it.

Now did you notice anything about that example?
That it didn't exactly seem all that appealing? well, it wasn't, but we acted like it was.

THAT IS WHAT WE ARE DOING RIGHT NOW WITH FANFICTIONS

Every single action is written out with a basic text like *twilight pokes rainbow*

WHO WANTS TO READ THAT GARBAGE?

----

In a fit of rage, and glowing red with anger, btflash grabs the nearest bookshelf with his powerful, enriched, and totally not fictional muscles. Rippling with power, btflash picks up the bookshelf and throws it towards the nearest wall. The wall and the bookshelf each explode in a clash of wood and plaster, bringing down the fragile ceiling where the supporting beam once was.

"I can't believe I had to destroy a wall AND a bookshelf just to prove a point." Btflash said, while wiping his hand across his sweat-stained brow.

----

Descriptive. Detail. It adds flair to an otherwise dry and boring story.

And onto my final point. Grimdark shit.
I don't give a shit about it.
It's ok in my mind, but I don't go out of my way to give a shit about it.

That is all. btflash out.
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Joel - *drinks drink while watching sunset from his penthouse*


-Everything was chill they were thinking. So did I.-


Mare - Phone Hun. *view him phone*
Joel - Yup?
Dimitri - Look outside old friend.
Joel - *notices SWAT* what the. Dimitri it's you right what is happening!
Dimitri - Don't act dumb. BlackNET got Leaked. We has a rat inside all along. Run away.
Joel - I have kids and wife!
Dimitri - We got them in Van. Jake is waiting at safehouse. Same location.

-some time later-

Joel - *opens vault* Alright. *takes shit and wears it*


-Well. I rather think that this is more normal than chill life-

Joel -...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
After a few days of training, Guy was back in his tent with Black Tuesday.

Guy: Three days of running, obstacles, and all that other shit Sargent Pride is making us do.. If the Vietcong don't kill me, the training exercises will.
Black Tuesday: It's not all that bad. You just try to run too fast.
Guy: Do I now?
Black Tuesday: Yeah. Didn't you notice everyone else was behind you when you were running?
Guy: No. I think I was just too busy trying to complete the damn thing to notice anyone behind me.
Summer Pride: *Blows a whistle* EVERYPONY OVER HERE ON THE DOUBLE!!!!
Guy: *Runs with Black Tuesday towards...
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added by Jade_23
Source: Deviantart, Tumblr
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Slash - *looks around the murder scene wich is pinkies house*
Ace - I see nothing.
Slash - Well I do see some apples. The died out of strong kick I assume.
Ace - UT the autopsy say-
Slash - Poison. Fox used poison. But second coming was another Killer. Wich is... *looks up on cealing* Haaa... *looks on table and points on apple pie* AppleJack.
Ace - What! How can you be so sure.
Slash - She came In and gave Pinkie the apple pie. Problem is. *cuts pie in half* Half of it is poison. While second part is hallucigen. She probably saw monster or something kicked her almost dead body and ran away tripping...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Round 7 is beginning

Pinkie Pie: *Gets into the teleporter with everypony else* Now remember, we won't use the teleporter until a zombie gets near us. That way, we can kill it with the lightning that comes out.
Twilight: Rightning?
Pinkie Pie: Das is correct.
Zombies: *Appearing from barriers*

The theater started to shake.

Rainbow Dash: Uh-oh. I think we got some new friends coming to join the party.
Applejack: *Shoots a zombie* You see what happens when you touch Applejack?
Rainbow Dash: But he didn't even touch you.
Applejack: Exactly.
Pinkie Pie: *Sees a zombie getting very close* Now! *Uses the...
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posted by Canada24
Spike: Uh, Twilight? Where's your castle?

Twilight: The map pulled us back, but whatever Starlight did in the past changed things here!

Spike: But why? And how did we get here? Where's here?

Twilight: More like when.

Saten: (annoyed) Please Twilight, that's such a douche time-traveler thing to say.

Twilight: Whatever.. Point is, Starlight altered Star Swirl's spell, then somehow used it on the map to travel into the past and change something!

Saten: It's obvious what it i-

Twilight: Saten, please.. Anyway. Once she did, the map pulled us back to the present!

Spike: So we're back where— I mean, when...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
When the shift was over, Candy was thinking about something.

Tim: *Turning right into the police station's parking lot* What's on your mind?
Candy: I'll tell you tomorrow.
Tim: Can't you tell me now?
Candy: I'm thinking about how to stop that suspect. I haven't worked out all the details, but when I do, I think it will work.
Tim: *Parks the car in the parking lot* Can't wait to hear what you have planned. *Walks away*
Candy: *Watching Tim get into his Viper, and drive away*
Julia: *Arrives* Hey, what happened?
Candy: With what? The pursuit?
Julia: Yeah. My partner gets sore when he doesn't catch a...
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Shadow - Will he mange to do it?
Dan - He is smart... How I created Him.
Shadow - What if he rebel?
Dan - Don't worry, he believes in friendship.
??? - Friendship IS Magic...
Dan - Hahaha... Right... I hope he will use his new power well
Shadow - Power of Creation?
Dan - No... Power of free will... They both have it now. And he can change slomeone soul with it. I hope and I believe he can do it.

Episode 10
When creation gain free will
-_--_---

Darkness - Huh. Where are you...
Hunter - HAHAHAHAHAHA *attacks him from behind*
Darkness - *there is tree that blocks an attack*
Hunter - *but tree fall under force*...
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posted by Canada24
Twilight: Those look yummy, Pinkie! Let me help you! But we better cover them up so they don't get spoiled.

Pinkie: Why would they get spoiled? We're all gonna eat them super soon!

Saten: Oh, didn't anybody tell you? Shining Armor and Cadance are held up. They may not arrive 'til Saturday.

Pinkie: Whaaaaaaaaaat?! [hyperventilating] You mean... [breathes] I have... [breathes] to wait... [breathes] another whole day?! I don't know if I can!

Twilight: Pinkie Pie, do you have something you need to say? You seem like you've been keeping something in.

Pinkie: [inarticulate yell]

Fluttershy: We're here...
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As the group of heroes made it upstairs, Sean had a plan.

Sean: Charmy, you go with Knuckles, and find two boats for us.
Charmy: You got it.
Knuckles: We'll go find them for you. *Flies off the boat with Charmy*
Sean: Dash, take these. *Gives her time bombs* Put these around the hall. Vector, and Mighty, you go with her.
Vector: Roger.
Sean: The rest of you on me. *Walks towards Sonic*

Rainbow Dash was planting one bomb on a wall, when Twilight appeared.

Twilight: Well well well, look who we have here.
Rainbow Dash: Twilight Sparkle. You're still working for Eggman?
Twilight: Fuck yeah man,...
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posted by Canada24
"Well.. I guess I should get going" Ditto said, starting to leave.

"Wait.. One last favour sweetie... How would you feel about being the next captain?" Celestia asked.

".. What?" Ditto asked, a bit confused.

"As you may or may not being aware.. Shining Armour and his lovely wife are too busy with The Crystal Empire.. So the guards need a new leader. And they saw how skilled of a fighter you are.. So they want you" Celestia replied.

"Oh.. Well., Guess I could do that.. I mean.. Why not" Ditto replied.

"(kisses his cheek) Good boy.. Let me show you to your new office" Celestia said, and lead him further into the castle.
posted by Seanthehedgehog
This is it
This is it
The Low Riders were still waiting on the bridge going over the train tracks from the station.

Cavalier Pony: *Arrives in a red Cavalier*
Corvette Pony: Here he is.
Cavalier Pony: *Gets out of his car* What are we waiting for? We gonna race?
Corvette Pony: Yes. Let's do it.
Julia: They're getting into their cars.
Tim: *Gets on the radio* GT24, we're still observing the suspects. Another pony joined them in a red 1995 Cavalier. So far, we can't tell if the car has any license plates. We can only see the front of it.
Dispatch: Ten-4 24. What is your current location?
Tim: Round Freeway. The four...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*

Ponies On The Rails

Starring the Union Pacific ponies

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Sadren was driving to a scrapyard to kill Francis and Molly. However, he didn't notice Jon and Frank on their motorcycles.

Jon: Canterlot 15 Mary-3 and 4, we found one of the suspects from the bank robbery, it looks like he has two hostages with him. *Rides behind the car*
Frank: That other pony is holding on for life Jon.
Jon: We need to catch up before he falls off.
Sadren: *Turns right into the scrapyard, and stops the car, and stops near a crane*
Francis: What are we doing here?
Sadren: Your car will be hoisted into the air by that crane in front of us. It picks up anything made out of metal,...
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posted by Canada24
Minuette: (awkwardly) So, uh, what are you studying these days?

Moon Dancer: Science, magic, history, economics, pottery. Things like that.

Minuette: Yowza! [chuckles] You planning on being a professor or something?

Moon Dancer: No.

Minuette: So you're just... studying?

Moon Dancer: (rolls eyes) Can I go now?

Twilight: Moon Dancer, please.

Saten: Yeah, Don't be rude.

Minuette: It's all right, Twilight. We're having a good time. Right, everypony?

Twinkleshine, Saten, Spike, and Lemon Hearts: [unsure sounds]

Minuette: So, uh... Spike, tell Moon Dancer that story 'bout how Twilight had to read a book about...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Case Cracker returned to the Pizzeria with Gordon and Sam, they told Jim about their success.

Jim: Alright, great job you three. Now, time for lunch. I'm buying. Want any pizza?
Sam: I'll take mine with broccoli, and onions.
Case Cracker: I'd like some pineapple on mine.
Gordon: Get me sausage.
Jim: How many slices would you like?
Sam: I'll take two.
Case Cracker: Two.
Gordon: Just one for me.
Jim: Okay. *Goes to order pizza*
Sam: We did great.
Case Cracker: A clean kill. No more cop.

They enjoyed their pizza. Next day, Gordon was sleeping when Case Cracker walked into his home.

Gordon: Case, what...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Ass Ass Inn

Starring Rainbow Dash as Marisa Sayers
Double Scoop as Lloyd
Saten Twist as Mercury
Pleiades as Joanna
Master Sword as George
Mortomis as Ranger
Blaze as Richard

At the Ass Ass Inn, everyone was sad. A pony was dead.

Lloyd: Mercury was a good boss, a good friend, and-
Mercury: I'm not the one that died.
Audience: *Laughing*
George: It was Donovan who was killed. He was doing a job, killing a pony for creating counterfeit money, when the police shot him to death from behind.
Marisa: He also had some jobs for me.
Ranger: Really?
Richard: What kind of jobs?
Marisa: Blowjobs.
Audience:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Video Game Troll

Starring Sean the hedgehog as Fox335
Mortomis as Kadillack
Other players in this match are real players, and are not portrayed by any actors.

Today's game: Grand Theft Auto 5

Fox335: *Driving a Red Coquette through Blaine County*
Kadillack: You know? This is the only good Grand Theft Auto game. Every other game has either bad graphics, or terrible gameplay. Usually, it's both.
klk321: Yo, you're insulting the best video game franchise ever.
Fox335: No, the best game franchise ever is Gran Turismo. You don't have to murder others just to win a race.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Golfing

Starring Tom Foolery as Otis
Master Sword as Chip
Snow Wonder as Elena
Heartsong as Casey
Cosmic Rainbow as Olson
Mortomis as Caddy
Blaze as Mitchell

A golf course was just constructed in Ponyville. Otis, and Chip were playing against each other.

Chip: Watch this. I'm gonna hit the ball with the 3 wood, and it's gonna hit the flag pole, and go right into the hole.
Otis: But we're already on the fairway, and you'll just hit the ball out of bounds.
Audience: *Laughing*
Chip: Just watch me! *Grabs 3 wood, and hits the ball*

The ball rocketed to the flagpole. It hit the pole, and fell into the hole....
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