Rainbow Dashed

Starring everypony as theirselves.

Narrator: One lovely morning, Rainbow Dashed arrived at Sugarcube Corner.
Pinkie Pie: Hi Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Shut the f**k up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Rainbow Dash: Can't you see I got a hangover? My head feels like a bomb is about to go off.
Twilight Sparkle: My head is a bomb.
Audience: *Laughing*
Twilight Sparkle: Are you going to help me learn how to clear clouds?
Rainbow Dash: Forget that, I need a drink.

So she walked out of Sugarcube Corner, and saw an over sized champagne bottle that said...

Rainbow Dash: Spitfire. I'm haluci- halizit, hallucinating again.
Narrator: Said Rainbow Dash, with great difficulty.
Audience: *Laughing*
Rainbow Dash: *Walks towards a water trough* Fill me up Mr. Water Trough.
Narrator: Said Rainbow Dash without moving her lips.
Audience: *Laughing*
Water Trough: *Gets filled with brandy* That's your share Rainbow Dash.
Narrator: Said the water trough.
Water Trough: Unless you want to share some of Twilight Sparkle's.
Audience: *Laughing*
Rainbow Dash: *Drinking brandy*
Audience: *Laughing* Drink it up!!
Rainbow Dash: Well, I'm off to The Ztables.
Audience: *Laughing*
Narrator: Rainbow Dash looked forward to her daily visit to the Stables. Even if it was a silly name for a bar. As she got there, Rainbow Dash saw Rachel, the grey unicorn.
Rachel: Hello my little pony.
Audience: *Laughing*
Rainbow Dash: There's no need to advertise.
Audience: *Laughing*
Narrator: Said Rainbow Dash, who was actually taller then Rachel.

Just then, Princess Celestia walked into the bar.

Princess Celestia: What's all this horsing around?
Audience: *Laughing*
Rainbow Dash: Mind your own business you celestial princess.
Audience: *Laughing*
Narrator: And without hesitating, Rainbow Dash punched Celestia once, really hard in the neck, killing her instantly.
Audience: *Laughing*
Narrator: The princess was about to fart at the time.
Audience: *Laughing*

Two stallions walked into the bar, and were next to Rainbow Dash, and Rachel.

Rainbow Dash: *Sticks out her tongue* Awesome. These two have something really cool between their back legs.
Audience: *Laughing*
Rachel: Mmh, I don't fancy mine much.
Rainbow Dash: Enough with British words, and sayings.
Narrator: The four ponies left the bar.
Rainbow Dash: Wanna come over to my place? The four of us can hang out.

The doors on the bar close, and you cannot see them. There's a crashing sound, and you can hear tires skidding.

Rainbow Dash: *Laying on top of a stallion* I saved us all from a reckless driver.
Rachel: Get off him.
Narrator: So Rachel got a bucket of water out of nowhere, and threw it onto Rainbow Dash.
Audience: *Laughing*

A police car heads towards Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash: *Smoking a cigarette* Uh oh. Here comes P.C. Pullman.
Officer Pullman: What's going on Rainbow Dash? Have you been drinking?

P.C. Pullman turned out to be an oversized lego policeman.

Audience: *Laughing*
Rainbow Dash: N-no sir.
Narrator: And she soon threw up all over the policeman. It all turned out well in the end. Rachel went to Manehattan to become a prostitute.
Audience: *Laughing*
Narrator: And Rainbow Dash was sent to a doctor about her drinking problem, but ended up being executed for killing Princess Celestia.
Audience: *Laughing*

On the next part of this episode, it's a classroom skit.