Theme song >>>> link
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring the Union Pacific ponies
Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Crème "Frenchy" From Karina_Brony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, Ike and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Also starring the Southern Pacific ponies.
Nikki West From Jade_23
Michael, Roger, Anthony, Ryan, and Donut from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 61
Nikki was glad to be back from her vacation. She felt very happy as she sat on a bench at the station. There, she met Ryan.
Ryan: *Repairing track by station*
Nikki: Hello.
Ryan: *Stops working, and looks at Nikki* Who are you?
Nikki: I'm Nikki.
Ryan: Oh yeah. Roger, and Anthony told me about you.
Nikki: How are they doing?
Ryan: Let's just say, they've seen better days.
Nikki: Why?
Ryan: Well, as you probably know, Roger gets in a lot of trouble.
Nikki: Don't I know it.
Ryan: And Anthony was accidentally shot by the mafia.
---
Nikki: I feel really excited. Just like a little filly. Now tell me all the news.
Anthony: Did you meet Ryan?
Nikki: Yes I did. Quite a nice pony.
Anthony: Yes he is. He helped me when I accidentally got shot by a gangster. Ryan is friendly, but it's a pitty Donut doesn't like him.
Nikki: Who's Donut?
Anthony: He's a unicorn from India. Michael hired him after my accident. He keeps busy, and I'm sure he means well, but he can be disrespectful at times. He always drives his trains fast, and listens to rock & roll while driving. Everypony says his music interests are vulgar.
Nikki: I think I know why.
---
Later, Michael spoke severly to Donut in his office.
Michael: Listen to me! There was nothing wrong with that tunnel! You got your train stuck, and caused the engines to brake down by going too fast, and listening to rock & roll. Tunnels are not dance floors, and you are not a rock star! *Looks at Donut's horn* If it happens again, I'm going to take away your magic. In other words *Clearing throat* Your career is ruined.
Donut: *Shocked*
Michael: *Smiles* Need I say more?
Episode 62
Ryan: There's one bad bit on our line that we didn't get to work yet. It's near Cheyenne.
Nikki: But you still did good fixing the rest of the line.
Ryan: I know, but the section near Cheyenne is too bad for any trains to go fast. Anypony driving their trains have to go slow.
Nikki: I'll remember that.
Ryan: I know you will, but I'm worried about some of the ponies that won't go slow, especially Donut. He'll listen to his rock & roll, go too fast, and wham, end up derailing his train, and having it lay on it's side in some ditch.
Donut: *Arrives*
Ryan: I'll warn him to be careful, but I don't think he'll listen.
Donut: What's that about me?! I'm a plain pony, and I believe in plain speaking. Speak up!!
Ryan: There's a section of track that needs to be repaired, and if you go too fast, you could crash.
Donut: Hmpf. I don't need some dumb pegasus pony telling me how to do my goddamn job. Up yours. *Walks away*
---
After departing from the station, Donut was heading back to Ogden.
Donut: Send Ryan packing. Send Ryan packing. This is making me so excited that I could play some Rock & Roll.
He started his record player, and a song started playing: link
I'm gonna tell Aunt Mary about Uncle John
He claims he has the misery, but he has a lot of fun
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah.
Well Long Tall Sally is built for speed
She got everything that Uncle John need
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah.
Well, I saw Uncle John with Bald Head Sally
He saw Aunt Mary comin' and he ducked back in the alley
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah. AHHHHHHH!
Instrumental part of the song.
Well Long Tall Sally is built for speed
She got everything that Uncle John need
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah.
Well, I saw Uncle John with Bald Head Sally
He saw Aunt Mary comin' and he ducked back in the alley
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah.
We're gonna have some fun tonight
Have some fun tonight, OOH!
Have some fun tonight. Everything's alright
Have some fun. Have some fun tonight
Right when the song ended, Donut's train derailed.
Donut: How is this possible?
---
Donut: Ryan, thank you for helping me.
Ryan: No problem.
Donut: I wish all ponies were as kind as you. Let's be friends.
Ryan: Suits me. We'll mend that bad bit of line first thing tomorrow morning.
Episode 63
Jeff: *Looking at train of steel* I haven't seen that much steel on one train since 1942.
Coffee Crème: Never mind that. Where's Stylo? He should be here by now.
Gordon: We get no rest! *Walks in front of Coffee Crème* What's the matter with you Frenchy? It's not dark outside at all. Stop complaining, and use your magic to get an engine here so we won't have to wait any longer.
Coffee Crème: I'm not afraid of the dark. Anyway, you should use your magic. You need the exercise.
Gordon: What are you talking about?
Coffee Crème: You're so fat you could be a clown. You should join the circus.
Stylo: *Arrives in his train, and gets out* Oh, so you've heard the news?
Jeff: What news?
Stylo: About the circus.
Gordon: Stylo, what are you talking about?
Stylo: The circus just arrived. Pete wants all of us to work together to get all of the freight cars unloaded, and he'll choose one of us to take the circus away once the show ends.
So the next day, everypony on the Union Pacific got to work helping the circus ponies unloading the freight cars, and stored them into the yards once everything was unloaded. They were having a pleasant time, but got very angry when Gordon was chosen to take the circus out of town.
---
Coffee Creme was told by Pete to get some workers at a tunnel which was blocked. She found the job boring, as she was driving an engine, and pushing two gondola freight cars where the workers, and their equipment were on.
They stopped outside the tunnel. The workers went inside. It was very dark, and quiet, but not for long. A sound was heard, as if it was a big animal, and the workers ran out looking terrified.
Worker Leader: What happened?
Worker 46: We started to dig at the block, but it grunted, and moved.
Worker Leader: That's ridiculous.
Worker 62: It's not ridiculous. It's big, and alive!
Worker 53: We're not going in there again.
Worker Leader: Right. I'll ride on the train, and Coffee Creme will push it out.
Coffee Creme: *Jumps out of engine, and walks to Leader* Whoa, whoa, wait. What?!
---
So the FBI Pony took Coffee Creme away.
Pete: I'm really going to miss her.
Wilson: *Walks over to Pete* Sir? Where's Coffee Creme going? I got her train set up.
Pete: She's not going to be driving anymore trains Wilson. You do it.
Wilson: Yes sir. *Goes to drive the freight train*
The next day, everypony heard about what happened, except for Gordon. He was on his way back from Chicagoat. Hawkeye, and Stylo were talking at the station, while sitting on a bench.
Hawkeye: I never got a chance to say goodbye to her.
Stylo: Neither did I.
Hawkeye: I'm never going to forget that first day she walked in here. We worked together, we had fun together, and we made fun of Gordon together.
Stylo: Then they started dating.
Hawkeye: Yeah. I guess she felt sorry for him, and didn't want us making fun of him.
Then suddenly, a big freight car was seen. It was so wide, that it was on two train tracks.
Hawkeye: Hey Stylo, look at that.
Stylo: It's stopping.
Hawkeye: Yeah, I wonder why.
Pete: *Walks out of station, and onto platform* Pierce, I got a telegram from Gordon.
Hawkeye: What does it say?
Pete: Dear assholes.
Stylo: Maybe that boxcar is also from Gordon.
Pete: I heard that you let the FBI take Coffee Creme away. Because of this, I'm going to attack you in a tank.
Hawkeye: Maybe Stylo's right. If Gordon does attack us in a tank, it's most likely to be in that boxcar.
Stylo: But thankfully he's an idiot. He won't be able to hurt anypony.
The doors opened on the boxcar, and Gordon drove his tank out of the car, while playing music.
Song: link
Pete: Oh, he's playing a song.
Gordon: *Getting closer to the station*
Hawkeye: Wait for it.
Gordon: *Turning turret to the left* Wait. I can't get it to stop! How do I stop this thing?! *Makes gun go up, as it continues spinning counter clockwise* No, go down! Why did I choose a tank from Europe? *Goes forward*
Stylo: See? What did I tell you? He's too stupid to attack us no matter what you give him.
Hawkeye: If he had a gun, he'd never be able to hit us.
Stylo: Even at close range.
Pete: Well, forget him. I'm going back in my office.
Gordon: *Turns left, as the turret continues to spin counter clockwise* Stop spinning!
Hawkeye: He's heading into town.
Stylo: If we were off duty, I'd love to see what would happen to him.
Episode 64
Duke: Humpf. That'll be the day.
Anthony: When I die.
Duke: Excuse me?
Anthony: It's part of a new song by Buddy Holly. Let me sing it to you.
A bunch of random ponies showed up out of nowhere with instruments, and they started to play the song.
Song: link
Anthony: *Singing the song*
Well, that'll be the day, when you say goodbye.
Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry.
You say you're gonna leave. You know it's a lie, cause that'll be the day-ay-ay when I die.
Well you give me all your lovin' and your turtle dovin'.
All your hugs, and kisses, and your money too.
Well you know you love me baby.
Still you tell me maybe, that someday when I'll be blue.
Well, that'll be the day, when you say goodbye.
Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry.
You say you're gonna leave. You know it's a lie, cause that'll be the day-ay-ay when I die.
Instrumental section. How are you liking the song so far?
Well, that'll be the day, when you say goodbye.
Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry.
You say you're gonna leave. You know it's a lie, cause that'll be the day-ay-ay when I die.
Well, when Cupid shot his dart.
He shot it at your heart.
So if we ever part, and I leave you
You sit, and hold me, and you tell me boldly.
That someday, well I'll be blue
Well, that'll be the day, when you say goodbye.
Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry.
You say you're gonna leave. You know it's a lie, cause that'll be the day-ay-ay when I die.
Well that'll be the day. Woo hoo.
Well that'll be the day. Woo hoo.
Well that'll be the day. Woo hoo.
Duke: Is that it?
Anthony: Yeah.
Duke: Then I'm going to work. *Walks away* That was a stupid song.
Anthony: You wouldn't know good music if it kicked you in the ass!
---
Duke was driving his train eastbound to Cheyenne. He was feeling fine when all of a sudden, he blacked out again.
Duke: I gotta stay awake.... *Falls asleep, and leans on speed lever*
The train started to go faster much to the surprise of the passengers. The conductor was worried, and got on his walkie talkie to talk to Duke.
Conductor: Hey, you're going too fast.
Duke: *Sleeping*
Conductor: Hey Duke, this isn't like you buddy. Wake up!
Duke: *Wakes up* I blacked out. Who won the war?
Conductor: There's no war going on.
---
Duke: *Laying in the engine*
Anthony: How are you?
Duke: Oh, you know me. I'm old. I don't feel well.
Anthony: Don't take it so hard. Once we get to Cheyenne, I'll tell Michael that you quit, and went into retirement.
Duke: I never said anything about quitting the railroad.
Anthony: Well, I guess you should start thinking about that.
Duke: *Goes to window in cab, and opens it*
Anthony: Getting fresh air?
Duke: Sure. *Grabs a branch from a tree*
Anthony: You should be careful with sticking your hooves out of a moving train. You could have hurt yourself.
Duke: I'm fine, but I know your fear of ants. *Looking at ant on branch*
Anthony: You gotta be kidding me.
Duke: Let me drive the train, or else this ant will be placed in your mane.
Anthony: Okay, it's yours.
Episode 65
Jeff has a son named James. He often comes to visit when he can, but today he got permission to bring two of his friends along to the station.
Teacher: *Writing down math problems*
Hanz: *Looking at clock. He whispers to Steve* It's almost three.
Steve: *Whispers to James* Almost three.
The bell rang, and a song plays.
Song: link
Teacher: Bye children.
Colts & Fillies: *Running out of classroom*
James: *Running to train station*
Hanz & Steve: *Following James*
Steve: Wait for us!
James: Come on you two! I swear, you run as slow as a filly.
Steve: Fillies smell like shit.
James: It's because of their perfume.
Hanz: Can you take it easy with the swearing?
James: Hell no. I don't care if you're religious or not.
Hanz: Celestia won't be too happy to hear that.
James: She's all the way in the east coast. She won't care what we do. Besides, I don't think she's real.
Steve: Nah, she's not real. They just want you religious ponies to believe that so you behave.
Hanz: Okay, but if she threatens to kill you, don't come crying to me.
---
Metal Gloss got on the freight train she was to drive into L.A. Her firepony was strange, and it seemed like he was on drugs.
Drug Pony: Hey... How would you like to have a bl****b?
Metal Gloss: I'm a mare you know.
Drug Pony: Even better. You can give it to me.
---
Bulstrode: *On the tugboat* Come on, come on! Why aren't those cars where they're supposed to be? I need the barge loaded up with stones quickly!
Worker: There's no engine, and they go to wherever they're needed. You're in the wrong spot, not these freight cars!
Stylo: *Climbs into engine, and drives towards the freight cars at a slow speed. He stops in front of the freight cars*
Worker: This stone is needed for Bulstrode. Get it towards the crane so he can stop complaining, and let us go on with our lives.
Stylo: I can do that.
On the other side of the freight cars was a caboose. The pony inside the caboose was being careless, and listening to music when he shouldn't have.
Song: link
Stylo: *Drives backwards*
He was to take the freight cars up to a higher section of the docks. When he got to the high section, the edge was right over the barge that Bulstrode brought in with his tug.
Stylo: *On walkie talkie* Let me know when we get close to that edge.
Conductor: *Ignoring Stylo, and continues listening to music*
Stylo: Did you hear me? Tell me if we get close to the edge!
Conductor: *Falls asleep*
Stylo: *Pushes train through buffers*
Then it happened. The train started to go over the edge, and landed in Bulstrode's barge.
As soon as the first three cars went over, Stylo stopped. He uncoupled the rest of the cars, and they all landed on the barge. Some debris from the stones, and parts of freight cars hit Bulstrode's tug so hard that it put a hole in the floor.
Now stop the song.
Episode 66
Stylo: *Stops train next to Snowflake's tower*
Metal Gloss: Okay, let's go see Pete.
Stylo: Alright.
They didn't know that a new pony was with Pete in his office. It was Nemo, and he had to take a test to qualify for the job.
Nemo: Hey Pete.
Pete: Yeah?
Nemo: What does a yellow signal mean?
Pete: Slow down.
Nemo: Okay. *Talks slower* What does a yellow signal mean?
Pete: Slow down.
Nemo: Okay. Whaaaat doooes a yeeellow signaaaal meeean?
Pete: Slow down!
Nemo: Okay. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat doooooooooooooes a yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellow signaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal meeeeeeeeeeeeeean?
Pete: Slow down!!
Nemo: Any slower, and I can't say it.
Pete: A yellow signal means you should slow down!!!
---
Nemo: *Back at Cheyenne, walking on the station platform to the door inside the station*
James: *Playing music on the radio*
Song: link
Steve: Here he comes.
Hanz: I got the candy.
Nemo: *Walking past James, and his friends*
James: Look Nemo, we have candy called Bull's Eyes.
Nemo: How did you know my name?
Steve: That doesn't matter. What matters is if you like Bull's Eyes?
Nemo: Bah, keep your candy. *Walks away*
---
Stylo got two diesels, and coupled them to the empty tank cars. However, he was going up Sherman Hill. The mafia were there waiting.
Mafia Pony 377: Here comes a freight train.
Mafia Pony 459: I know that train. It's driven by some unicorn mare, and she takes it to the dairy for those tank cars to be loaded with milk.
Mafia Pony 377: How do you know?
Mafia Pony 459: It always shows up at this time of the week. Wait a sec. Give me those binoculars.
Mafia Pony 377: *Gives binoculars*
Mafia Pony 459: *Looking at train* That's a stallion driving the train. Give me a sniper rifle.
Mafia Pony 377: *Gives sniper rifle to his partner*
Mafia Pony 459: I think we might get some gasoline from this train. *Aiming rifle at airbrakes, and shoots them*
Airbrakes are very important. Without them, it makes things more difficult for the train to stop.
Mafia Pony 459: Haha.
Mafia Pony 377: Are you crazy? If there really is gasoline on that train, it could crash, and blow up. How will we get the gas now?
Mafia Pony 459: Relax. Not all of the cars are gonna explode. If none of them explode, we know that all of them are empty.
Stylo: *Tries to apply brakes* Wait a minute, I got no airbrakes. *Gets on Walkie Talkie* Train 949 to MP 312, I have no airbrakes, and my train won't stop.
Signal Pony: Copy that 949. We'll divert you to a siding.
Stylo: Thank you.
Unfortunately, another train was in front of him.
Stylo: Oh god. *Crashes train into the back of another freight train*
Stylo's engine went through the caboose, and got onto a flatcar.
Episode 67
Hawkeye got a passenger train into the station. He was walking inside the station to his car to go home, when he saw Metal Gloss, and Stylo.
Hawkeye: Hey.
Metal Gloss: Hi. *Hugs Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: I guess you really missed me.
Metal Gloss: You know it. *Kisses Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: *Kisses Metal Gloss*
Metal Gloss: Are you going to be at Pete's meeting tomorrow night?
Hawkeye: What's it about?
Metal Gloss: Oh, just about how our line is continuing to be dieselized.
Hawkeye: I think something's up.
Stylo: *Looks up to the ceiliing* Where?
Hawkeye: Not up there. Down here.
Stylo: How can something be up there, when it's down here?
Hawkeye: I don't know. What do you think Metal Gloss?
Metal Gloss: I think we should kiss each other again.
---
Mafia Pony: Here comes a train.
Mafia Pony 2: Let's shoot the engine, and cause it to stop. Then, we'll take everything inside the train.
Mafia Pony 3: Leave it to me. *Grabs gun*
Hawkeye: There they are. *Speeds up*
Mafia Pony 3: *Shooting bullets at engine*
Mafia Pony: Did it work?
Mafia Pony 2: No. It's not stopping!
Mafia Pony: Then let's get in the car.
Mafia Pony 3: But It's a Ranchero. Only two ponies can fit in there.
Mafia Pony: You screwed things up for us, so you get to be in the bed.
Mafia Pony 3: *Gets in the bed of the truck*
They started to chase the train, but to make matters worse, the bullets caused the engine in Hawkeye's train to be jammed. It wouldn't slow down.
Hawkeye: Okay, I think we lost them. We better slow down before we end up crashing into another train. *Tries to slow the train down*
Hawkeye put the lever to a slower speed then it's previous state, but the train wouldn't slow down.
Hawkeye: This can't be good. *Gets on walkie talkie* Hello? Anypony on the air?
Signal Pony: Milepost 27. What's up?
Hawkeye: My engine's jammed, and it won't stop. I need help!
Signal Pony:We'll alert anypony in front of you to be diverted to a siding until your train passes them. In the meantime, I need you to contact train 124. They should be able to help you.
Hawkeye: Right. Thank you. Train 124, do you copy?
Engineer Pony: Yeah, your train won't slow down. What can I do for you?
Hawkeye: I need you to get your engine in front of mine, and use the brakes to stop it.
Engineer Pony: Have you tried using the brakes on your locomotive?
Hawkeye: We'll do that once you get your engine in front of us. We just passed milepost 27 doing 60. Get in front of us now!
Engineer Pony: Okay.
Hawkeye's train travelled for a few more miles without changing it's speed.
Engineer Pony: I see your train, and I'm getting in front of you. *Gets his engine in front of Hawkeye's train at 60 miles an hour*
Hawkeye: Decrease your speed to 55.
Engineer Pony: *Slowing down*
Hawkeye: We're getting close. Bring it down to 50.
Engineer Pony: *Slows his engine down to 50*
Hawkeye: *Puts his brakes on* Okay wait for it.. *Has his train tap the back of the other engine* Now, put your brakes on!
Engineer Pony: *Applies brakes*
The train started to slow down, then the engine in Hawkeye's train broke down, and stopped running.
Hawkeye: *Sighs* That was close. Thank you.
Nikki: *Her eyes are wide, and she is very scared* oiehrgiesurghesidugjbhsdghkoidgjsoingljfidchgukfghidughirhgur
Engineer Pony: *Drives away*
Hawkeye: Wait. Where are you going? You're not just leaving my train out here on the mainline, are you?
Engineer Pony: Not my choice. My boss told me to get this engine back to the yards. You have to wait until tomorrow.
Hawkeye: Great! Thanks for all your help! *Gets off radio* I can't wait that long.
Nikki: What are you going to do?
Hawkeye: I don't know about you, but I'm going to walk all the way back to Cheyenne. *Gets out of the train, and walks back to Cheyenne*
---
Band Ponies: Who wants to hear the next song?
Hawkeye: Great Balls Of Fire!!
Singer: Well if it's Great Balls Of Fire you want, it's Great Balls Of Fire you'll get it. And-a hit it.
Song: link
Band Ponies: *Playing their song*
Singer: You shake my nerves, and you rattle my brain. Too much love drives a man insane. You broke my will, but what a thrill. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.
Band Ponies: *Playing instruments*
Singer: I laughed at love, cause I thought it was funny. You came along, and moved me honey. I changed my mind, this love is fine. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire. Kiss me baby. Mmmmmh, feels good. Hold me baby. Well, I want to love you like a lover should. You're fine. So kind. I would tell this world that you're mine mine mine mine. I chew my nails, and then I twiddle my thumbs. I'm real nervous, but it sure is fun. Come on baby, you drive me crazy. Goodness gracious great balls of fire.
Hawkeye: *Dancing with Metal Gloss*
Metal Gloss: This is fun!
Hawkeye: Yeah! I'm glad that little filly wrote to us. It kinda surprises me how much a letter can do.
Ponies: *Enjoying music*
Piano Pony: *Playing piano* You like this song?
Ponies: YEAH!!
Piano Pony: Well our singer is going to sing some more. That's basically the only thing singers do.
Ponies: *Laughing*
Singer: Well, kiss me baby. Mmmmmh, feels good. Hold me baby. Well, I want to love you like a lover should. You're fine. So kind. I would tell this world that you're mine mine mine mine. I chew my nails, and then I twiddle my thumbs. I'm real nervous, but it sure is fun. Come on baby, you drive me crazy. Goodness gracious great balls of fire.
Ponies: *Clapping*
Episode 68
Song: link
Work was getting very difficult on the Southern Pacific. The snowfalls of winter have been so thick, that the SP needed to get a lot of snowplows to clear their line. One part of the SP was in a highly elevated area called the Sierra Neighvadas. So much snow falls there that it was as tall as a five story building.
But it could be worse, right? Well for Anthony it was. He always drove engine 2472, but in the summer of '56, his engine's smokestack got shot, and it had to be repaired. However, nopony got around to repairing it yet, so his engine always made a weird noise when he drove it.
Now stop the song.
On the station.
Nikki: *Wearing a fur coat*
Roger: *Not wearing anything* I don't see how you can be so cold.
Nikki: I don't see how you're not cold at all.
Roger: I'm a unicorn. I can make a spell to keep myself warm.
Nikki: You unicorns have answers to everything.
---
Workers: *Getting out of train*
Ryan: *Goes to leader* I just got more news from Michael.
Worker Leader: What?
Ryan: I said I got more ne-
Worker Leader: What is the news?
Ryan: He says that you should modify the bridge after you get the branch out from the river.
Worker Leader: He could have told us that sooner.
Ryan: I guess he wanted to, but he forgot.
Worker Leader: Some boss he is. At least I don't forget things.
Worker 52: That branch is out from the river boss.
Worker Leader: Yeah, yeah. Let's go home.
Ryan: Aren't you forgetting something?
Worker Leader: Not that I know of.
Ryan: Don't you remember that conversation we just had?
Worker Leader: No.
Ryan: You have to modify the bridge.
---
Some cables were used to keep the pipe in place, and it worked. However, when Anthony returned his engine to the yards in Ogden, everypony started to make fun of him.
Donut: *Laughing* When you told us that a new smokestack was going to be put on your engine, we didn't think it would be a hollow pipe!
Anthony: Shut up.
Roger: Oh, I got a perfect song for this very occasion. *Sings* Anthony said again, and again, his engine's new smokestack would grab our interest. He went through a tunnel, and lost the smokestack. Now the new smokestack is a hollow pipe!
Everypony: *Laughing*
Anthony: *Not amused* Great song Roger. Really great. *Walks away*
Episode 69
Stylo: What were you doing out there in those engines?
Renee: Waiting for somepony to crash into me, and have me killed.
Stylo: What?
Hawkeye: Why?
Renee: I don't deserve to live.
Hawkeye: Aw, come on. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Renee: It's true. I'm jinxed, and the B&O fired me because of that.
Hawkeye: *Angry* That's ridiculous. There's no such thing as being jinxed.
---
Pete: What do you mean jinxed?
Renee: That's the only explanation sir. The tracks were in good condition, the caboose had no damage on it's wheels, or axles, but it came derailed anyway. I'm jinxed.
Hawkeye: I think you've been telling us that for too long now. There is no such thing as a jinx.
All of a sudden, Pete's desk fell apart.
Pete: Hey! What the-?
Renee: Has that ever happened before?
Hawkeye: No it hasn't.
Stylo: Not until now anyway.
Pete: *Very angry* Hawkeye! Stylo! Get this fucking pony out of my office right away! On the double!!
Hawkeye: Right. *Leaves office with Stylo, and Renee*
---
Hawkeye: You seem to be going fast in reverse.
Stylo: I watched The Searchers in reverse. Everypony that died came right back to life.
Renee: Speaking of dying, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'll go too fast on this turn, and crash my train.
Her engines ran out of fuel, and they weren't going fast enough for her to go off the rails.
Hawkeye: Looks like you ran out of fuel.
Renee: Oh fiddlesticks.
Stylo: If you don't get your engines back onto your train, we'll find somepony else to take it for you.
Renee: All I wanted to do was crash, and kill myself, but no! Being jinxed sucks.
Episode 70
Hawkeye, and Stylo had to continue on to Denver with their train, but Mirage arrived in another locomotive to take Renee's engines back to the yards. Troublesome things had been happening to Mirage however, and when he towed Renee's engines back to the yards, this is what happened.
Mirage: *Pulling Renee's engines with his engines*
Renee: *Sitting next to Mirage* How many engines are you using?
Mirage: Three GP9's. We started getting them here since '54.
Renee: That's cool.
Mirage: Well I'm glad you think so. These engines really are neat.
One of them broke down.
Mirage: Oh no! Now I've gotta get three dead diesels into the yards.
Renee: *Thinking about being Jinxed* I think I know why.
Mirage: Well don't think about it. Just sit there, and think about happy thoughts.
The second engine broke down.
Renee: There goes another one.
Mirage: Blimey! *Stops train* Now I don't have enough power to get us back to the yards. Now what?
Renee: We wait. I'm sure somepony will help us soon.
But it took five hours for Hawkeye, and Stylo to come back from Denver. When they did, they were told to bring Mirage, and Renee's engines back to the yards.
---
Renee: *Trying to remain calm* Okay... This is it.. I am driving a train with explosives, but I'm not to worry. Nikki said as long as I don't go too fast, everything will be okay. *Looks at her speedometer* 35 miles an hour?! I gotta slow down! *Slows train down*
Donut: *Driving an express train at 60 miles an hour behind Renee's freight* Hey! Get that freight train out of my way!!
Renee: *Very scared. She applies the brakes, and hopes her train will come to a complete stop* Where did that come from?
Donut: Oh dear. *Jumps out of locomotive*
Suddenly, an explosion occured. Donut's train crashed into Renee's freight, which caused the explosives to go off. Thankfully, no one was hurt.
---
Pete: What happened? The cops told me you crashed your train just outside the yards.
Renee: A pony in the mafia threw a grenade at my train, but they don't believe me.
Police Pony: Alright, you're free to go.
Renee: *Gets out of police car*
Police Ponies: *Get in their car, and drive away*
Pete felt like Renee didn't belong here. He told Stylo to buy Renee a plane ticket back to Baltimare, so that she could be back at her house. When he asked why, Pete told him that she would not be driving anymore trains.
A few days later.
Pete: *Sitting in his office, and hears his phone ringing. He picks it up, and answers the call* Hello?
Renee: Hi Pete. You were right about my new job. It's lots of fun.
Pete: I told you owning your own model train shop would be fun. Now I know you're hundreds of miles away from us, but if you ever wanna visit us, please don't hesitate to do so.
Renee: Okay. Thanks again Pete. Goodbye.
Pete: Bye bye. *Hangs up* I'm gonna miss that mare, but at least she's happy with what she's doing now.
The End
Before season 8 starts, a special fanfiction will start. Look out for Ponies On The Rails: Foreign Visitors, arriving soon.
Seanthehedgehog presents
Ponies On The Rails
Starring the Union Pacific ponies
Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog
Coffee Crème "Frenchy" From Karina_Brony
Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09
Metal Gloss From DragonAura15
Stylo From Jimmythedragon
NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage
Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, Ike and Pete from Seanthehedgehog
Also starring the Southern Pacific ponies.
Nikki West From Jade_23
Michael, Roger, Anthony, Ryan, and Donut from Seanthehedgehog
Episode 61
Nikki was glad to be back from her vacation. She felt very happy as she sat on a bench at the station. There, she met Ryan.
Ryan: *Repairing track by station*
Nikki: Hello.
Ryan: *Stops working, and looks at Nikki* Who are you?
Nikki: I'm Nikki.
Ryan: Oh yeah. Roger, and Anthony told me about you.
Nikki: How are they doing?
Ryan: Let's just say, they've seen better days.
Nikki: Why?
Ryan: Well, as you probably know, Roger gets in a lot of trouble.
Nikki: Don't I know it.
Ryan: And Anthony was accidentally shot by the mafia.
---
Nikki: I feel really excited. Just like a little filly. Now tell me all the news.
Anthony: Did you meet Ryan?
Nikki: Yes I did. Quite a nice pony.
Anthony: Yes he is. He helped me when I accidentally got shot by a gangster. Ryan is friendly, but it's a pitty Donut doesn't like him.
Nikki: Who's Donut?
Anthony: He's a unicorn from India. Michael hired him after my accident. He keeps busy, and I'm sure he means well, but he can be disrespectful at times. He always drives his trains fast, and listens to rock & roll while driving. Everypony says his music interests are vulgar.
Nikki: I think I know why.
---
Later, Michael spoke severly to Donut in his office.
Michael: Listen to me! There was nothing wrong with that tunnel! You got your train stuck, and caused the engines to brake down by going too fast, and listening to rock & roll. Tunnels are not dance floors, and you are not a rock star! *Looks at Donut's horn* If it happens again, I'm going to take away your magic. In other words *Clearing throat* Your career is ruined.
Donut: *Shocked*
Michael: *Smiles* Need I say more?
Episode 62
Ryan: There's one bad bit on our line that we didn't get to work yet. It's near Cheyenne.
Nikki: But you still did good fixing the rest of the line.
Ryan: I know, but the section near Cheyenne is too bad for any trains to go fast. Anypony driving their trains have to go slow.
Nikki: I'll remember that.
Ryan: I know you will, but I'm worried about some of the ponies that won't go slow, especially Donut. He'll listen to his rock & roll, go too fast, and wham, end up derailing his train, and having it lay on it's side in some ditch.
Donut: *Arrives*
Ryan: I'll warn him to be careful, but I don't think he'll listen.
Donut: What's that about me?! I'm a plain pony, and I believe in plain speaking. Speak up!!
Ryan: There's a section of track that needs to be repaired, and if you go too fast, you could crash.
Donut: Hmpf. I don't need some dumb pegasus pony telling me how to do my goddamn job. Up yours. *Walks away*
---
After departing from the station, Donut was heading back to Ogden.
Donut: Send Ryan packing. Send Ryan packing. This is making me so excited that I could play some Rock & Roll.
He started his record player, and a song started playing: link
I'm gonna tell Aunt Mary about Uncle John
He claims he has the misery, but he has a lot of fun
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah.
Well Long Tall Sally is built for speed
She got everything that Uncle John need
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah.
Well, I saw Uncle John with Bald Head Sally
He saw Aunt Mary comin' and he ducked back in the alley
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah. AHHHHHHH!
Instrumental part of the song.
Well Long Tall Sally is built for speed
She got everything that Uncle John need
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah.
Well, I saw Uncle John with Bald Head Sally
He saw Aunt Mary comin' and he ducked back in the alley
Oh baby
Yeah baby
Ooooh, baby, Havin' me some fun tonight. Yeah.
We're gonna have some fun tonight
Have some fun tonight, OOH!
Have some fun tonight. Everything's alright
Have some fun. Have some fun tonight
Right when the song ended, Donut's train derailed.
Donut: How is this possible?
---
Donut: Ryan, thank you for helping me.
Ryan: No problem.
Donut: I wish all ponies were as kind as you. Let's be friends.
Ryan: Suits me. We'll mend that bad bit of line first thing tomorrow morning.
Episode 63
Jeff: *Looking at train of steel* I haven't seen that much steel on one train since 1942.
Coffee Crème: Never mind that. Where's Stylo? He should be here by now.
Gordon: We get no rest! *Walks in front of Coffee Crème* What's the matter with you Frenchy? It's not dark outside at all. Stop complaining, and use your magic to get an engine here so we won't have to wait any longer.
Coffee Crème: I'm not afraid of the dark. Anyway, you should use your magic. You need the exercise.
Gordon: What are you talking about?
Coffee Crème: You're so fat you could be a clown. You should join the circus.
Stylo: *Arrives in his train, and gets out* Oh, so you've heard the news?
Jeff: What news?
Stylo: About the circus.
Gordon: Stylo, what are you talking about?
Stylo: The circus just arrived. Pete wants all of us to work together to get all of the freight cars unloaded, and he'll choose one of us to take the circus away once the show ends.
So the next day, everypony on the Union Pacific got to work helping the circus ponies unloading the freight cars, and stored them into the yards once everything was unloaded. They were having a pleasant time, but got very angry when Gordon was chosen to take the circus out of town.
---
Coffee Creme was told by Pete to get some workers at a tunnel which was blocked. She found the job boring, as she was driving an engine, and pushing two gondola freight cars where the workers, and their equipment were on.
They stopped outside the tunnel. The workers went inside. It was very dark, and quiet, but not for long. A sound was heard, as if it was a big animal, and the workers ran out looking terrified.
Worker Leader: What happened?
Worker 46: We started to dig at the block, but it grunted, and moved.
Worker Leader: That's ridiculous.
Worker 62: It's not ridiculous. It's big, and alive!
Worker 53: We're not going in there again.
Worker Leader: Right. I'll ride on the train, and Coffee Creme will push it out.
Coffee Creme: *Jumps out of engine, and walks to Leader* Whoa, whoa, wait. What?!
---
So the FBI Pony took Coffee Creme away.
Pete: I'm really going to miss her.
Wilson: *Walks over to Pete* Sir? Where's Coffee Creme going? I got her train set up.
Pete: She's not going to be driving anymore trains Wilson. You do it.
Wilson: Yes sir. *Goes to drive the freight train*
The next day, everypony heard about what happened, except for Gordon. He was on his way back from Chicagoat. Hawkeye, and Stylo were talking at the station, while sitting on a bench.
Hawkeye: I never got a chance to say goodbye to her.
Stylo: Neither did I.
Hawkeye: I'm never going to forget that first day she walked in here. We worked together, we had fun together, and we made fun of Gordon together.
Stylo: Then they started dating.
Hawkeye: Yeah. I guess she felt sorry for him, and didn't want us making fun of him.
Then suddenly, a big freight car was seen. It was so wide, that it was on two train tracks.
Hawkeye: Hey Stylo, look at that.
Stylo: It's stopping.
Hawkeye: Yeah, I wonder why.
Pete: *Walks out of station, and onto platform* Pierce, I got a telegram from Gordon.
Hawkeye: What does it say?
Pete: Dear assholes.
Stylo: Maybe that boxcar is also from Gordon.
Pete: I heard that you let the FBI take Coffee Creme away. Because of this, I'm going to attack you in a tank.
Hawkeye: Maybe Stylo's right. If Gordon does attack us in a tank, it's most likely to be in that boxcar.
Stylo: But thankfully he's an idiot. He won't be able to hurt anypony.
The doors opened on the boxcar, and Gordon drove his tank out of the car, while playing music.
Song: link
Pete: Oh, he's playing a song.
Gordon: *Getting closer to the station*
Hawkeye: Wait for it.
Gordon: *Turning turret to the left* Wait. I can't get it to stop! How do I stop this thing?! *Makes gun go up, as it continues spinning counter clockwise* No, go down! Why did I choose a tank from Europe? *Goes forward*
Stylo: See? What did I tell you? He's too stupid to attack us no matter what you give him.
Hawkeye: If he had a gun, he'd never be able to hit us.
Stylo: Even at close range.
Pete: Well, forget him. I'm going back in my office.
Gordon: *Turns left, as the turret continues to spin counter clockwise* Stop spinning!
Hawkeye: He's heading into town.
Stylo: If we were off duty, I'd love to see what would happen to him.
Episode 64
Duke: Humpf. That'll be the day.
Anthony: When I die.
Duke: Excuse me?
Anthony: It's part of a new song by Buddy Holly. Let me sing it to you.
A bunch of random ponies showed up out of nowhere with instruments, and they started to play the song.
Song: link
Anthony: *Singing the song*
Well, that'll be the day, when you say goodbye.
Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry.
You say you're gonna leave. You know it's a lie, cause that'll be the day-ay-ay when I die.
Well you give me all your lovin' and your turtle dovin'.
All your hugs, and kisses, and your money too.
Well you know you love me baby.
Still you tell me maybe, that someday when I'll be blue.
Well, that'll be the day, when you say goodbye.
Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry.
You say you're gonna leave. You know it's a lie, cause that'll be the day-ay-ay when I die.
Instrumental section. How are you liking the song so far?
Well, that'll be the day, when you say goodbye.
Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry.
You say you're gonna leave. You know it's a lie, cause that'll be the day-ay-ay when I die.
Well, when Cupid shot his dart.
He shot it at your heart.
So if we ever part, and I leave you
You sit, and hold me, and you tell me boldly.
That someday, well I'll be blue
Well, that'll be the day, when you say goodbye.
Yes, that'll be the day when you make me cry.
You say you're gonna leave. You know it's a lie, cause that'll be the day-ay-ay when I die.
Well that'll be the day. Woo hoo.
Well that'll be the day. Woo hoo.
Well that'll be the day. Woo hoo.
Duke: Is that it?
Anthony: Yeah.
Duke: Then I'm going to work. *Walks away* That was a stupid song.
Anthony: You wouldn't know good music if it kicked you in the ass!
---
Duke was driving his train eastbound to Cheyenne. He was feeling fine when all of a sudden, he blacked out again.
Duke: I gotta stay awake.... *Falls asleep, and leans on speed lever*
The train started to go faster much to the surprise of the passengers. The conductor was worried, and got on his walkie talkie to talk to Duke.
Conductor: Hey, you're going too fast.
Duke: *Sleeping*
Conductor: Hey Duke, this isn't like you buddy. Wake up!
Duke: *Wakes up* I blacked out. Who won the war?
Conductor: There's no war going on.
---
Duke: *Laying in the engine*
Anthony: How are you?
Duke: Oh, you know me. I'm old. I don't feel well.
Anthony: Don't take it so hard. Once we get to Cheyenne, I'll tell Michael that you quit, and went into retirement.
Duke: I never said anything about quitting the railroad.
Anthony: Well, I guess you should start thinking about that.
Duke: *Goes to window in cab, and opens it*
Anthony: Getting fresh air?
Duke: Sure. *Grabs a branch from a tree*
Anthony: You should be careful with sticking your hooves out of a moving train. You could have hurt yourself.
Duke: I'm fine, but I know your fear of ants. *Looking at ant on branch*
Anthony: You gotta be kidding me.
Duke: Let me drive the train, or else this ant will be placed in your mane.
Anthony: Okay, it's yours.
Episode 65
Jeff has a son named James. He often comes to visit when he can, but today he got permission to bring two of his friends along to the station.
Teacher: *Writing down math problems*
Hanz: *Looking at clock. He whispers to Steve* It's almost three.
Steve: *Whispers to James* Almost three.
The bell rang, and a song plays.
Song: link
Teacher: Bye children.
Colts & Fillies: *Running out of classroom*
James: *Running to train station*
Hanz & Steve: *Following James*
Steve: Wait for us!
James: Come on you two! I swear, you run as slow as a filly.
Steve: Fillies smell like shit.
James: It's because of their perfume.
Hanz: Can you take it easy with the swearing?
James: Hell no. I don't care if you're religious or not.
Hanz: Celestia won't be too happy to hear that.
James: She's all the way in the east coast. She won't care what we do. Besides, I don't think she's real.
Steve: Nah, she's not real. They just want you religious ponies to believe that so you behave.
Hanz: Okay, but if she threatens to kill you, don't come crying to me.
---
Metal Gloss got on the freight train she was to drive into L.A. Her firepony was strange, and it seemed like he was on drugs.
Drug Pony: Hey... How would you like to have a bl****b?
Metal Gloss: I'm a mare you know.
Drug Pony: Even better. You can give it to me.
---
Bulstrode: *On the tugboat* Come on, come on! Why aren't those cars where they're supposed to be? I need the barge loaded up with stones quickly!
Worker: There's no engine, and they go to wherever they're needed. You're in the wrong spot, not these freight cars!
Stylo: *Climbs into engine, and drives towards the freight cars at a slow speed. He stops in front of the freight cars*
Worker: This stone is needed for Bulstrode. Get it towards the crane so he can stop complaining, and let us go on with our lives.
Stylo: I can do that.
On the other side of the freight cars was a caboose. The pony inside the caboose was being careless, and listening to music when he shouldn't have.
Song: link
Stylo: *Drives backwards*
He was to take the freight cars up to a higher section of the docks. When he got to the high section, the edge was right over the barge that Bulstrode brought in with his tug.
Stylo: *On walkie talkie* Let me know when we get close to that edge.
Conductor: *Ignoring Stylo, and continues listening to music*
Stylo: Did you hear me? Tell me if we get close to the edge!
Conductor: *Falls asleep*
Stylo: *Pushes train through buffers*
Then it happened. The train started to go over the edge, and landed in Bulstrode's barge.
As soon as the first three cars went over, Stylo stopped. He uncoupled the rest of the cars, and they all landed on the barge. Some debris from the stones, and parts of freight cars hit Bulstrode's tug so hard that it put a hole in the floor.
Now stop the song.
Episode 66
Stylo: *Stops train next to Snowflake's tower*
Metal Gloss: Okay, let's go see Pete.
Stylo: Alright.
They didn't know that a new pony was with Pete in his office. It was Nemo, and he had to take a test to qualify for the job.
Nemo: Hey Pete.
Pete: Yeah?
Nemo: What does a yellow signal mean?
Pete: Slow down.
Nemo: Okay. *Talks slower* What does a yellow signal mean?
Pete: Slow down.
Nemo: Okay. Whaaaat doooes a yeeellow signaaaal meeean?
Pete: Slow down!
Nemo: Okay. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat doooooooooooooes a yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellow signaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal meeeeeeeeeeeeeean?
Pete: Slow down!!
Nemo: Any slower, and I can't say it.
Pete: A yellow signal means you should slow down!!!
---
Nemo: *Back at Cheyenne, walking on the station platform to the door inside the station*
James: *Playing music on the radio*
Song: link
Steve: Here he comes.
Hanz: I got the candy.
Nemo: *Walking past James, and his friends*
James: Look Nemo, we have candy called Bull's Eyes.
Nemo: How did you know my name?
Steve: That doesn't matter. What matters is if you like Bull's Eyes?
Nemo: Bah, keep your candy. *Walks away*
---
Stylo got two diesels, and coupled them to the empty tank cars. However, he was going up Sherman Hill. The mafia were there waiting.
Mafia Pony 377: Here comes a freight train.
Mafia Pony 459: I know that train. It's driven by some unicorn mare, and she takes it to the dairy for those tank cars to be loaded with milk.
Mafia Pony 377: How do you know?
Mafia Pony 459: It always shows up at this time of the week. Wait a sec. Give me those binoculars.
Mafia Pony 377: *Gives binoculars*
Mafia Pony 459: *Looking at train* That's a stallion driving the train. Give me a sniper rifle.
Mafia Pony 377: *Gives sniper rifle to his partner*
Mafia Pony 459: I think we might get some gasoline from this train. *Aiming rifle at airbrakes, and shoots them*
Airbrakes are very important. Without them, it makes things more difficult for the train to stop.
Mafia Pony 459: Haha.
Mafia Pony 377: Are you crazy? If there really is gasoline on that train, it could crash, and blow up. How will we get the gas now?
Mafia Pony 459: Relax. Not all of the cars are gonna explode. If none of them explode, we know that all of them are empty.
Stylo: *Tries to apply brakes* Wait a minute, I got no airbrakes. *Gets on Walkie Talkie* Train 949 to MP 312, I have no airbrakes, and my train won't stop.
Signal Pony: Copy that 949. We'll divert you to a siding.
Stylo: Thank you.
Unfortunately, another train was in front of him.
Stylo: Oh god. *Crashes train into the back of another freight train*
Stylo's engine went through the caboose, and got onto a flatcar.
Episode 67
Hawkeye got a passenger train into the station. He was walking inside the station to his car to go home, when he saw Metal Gloss, and Stylo.
Hawkeye: Hey.
Metal Gloss: Hi. *Hugs Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: I guess you really missed me.
Metal Gloss: You know it. *Kisses Hawkeye*
Hawkeye: *Kisses Metal Gloss*
Metal Gloss: Are you going to be at Pete's meeting tomorrow night?
Hawkeye: What's it about?
Metal Gloss: Oh, just about how our line is continuing to be dieselized.
Hawkeye: I think something's up.
Stylo: *Looks up to the ceiliing* Where?
Hawkeye: Not up there. Down here.
Stylo: How can something be up there, when it's down here?
Hawkeye: I don't know. What do you think Metal Gloss?
Metal Gloss: I think we should kiss each other again.
---
Mafia Pony: Here comes a train.
Mafia Pony 2: Let's shoot the engine, and cause it to stop. Then, we'll take everything inside the train.
Mafia Pony 3: Leave it to me. *Grabs gun*
Hawkeye: There they are. *Speeds up*
Mafia Pony 3: *Shooting bullets at engine*
Mafia Pony: Did it work?
Mafia Pony 2: No. It's not stopping!
Mafia Pony: Then let's get in the car.
Mafia Pony 3: But It's a Ranchero. Only two ponies can fit in there.
Mafia Pony: You screwed things up for us, so you get to be in the bed.
Mafia Pony 3: *Gets in the bed of the truck*
They started to chase the train, but to make matters worse, the bullets caused the engine in Hawkeye's train to be jammed. It wouldn't slow down.
Hawkeye: Okay, I think we lost them. We better slow down before we end up crashing into another train. *Tries to slow the train down*
Hawkeye put the lever to a slower speed then it's previous state, but the train wouldn't slow down.
Hawkeye: This can't be good. *Gets on walkie talkie* Hello? Anypony on the air?
Signal Pony: Milepost 27. What's up?
Hawkeye: My engine's jammed, and it won't stop. I need help!
Signal Pony:We'll alert anypony in front of you to be diverted to a siding until your train passes them. In the meantime, I need you to contact train 124. They should be able to help you.
Hawkeye: Right. Thank you. Train 124, do you copy?
Engineer Pony: Yeah, your train won't slow down. What can I do for you?
Hawkeye: I need you to get your engine in front of mine, and use the brakes to stop it.
Engineer Pony: Have you tried using the brakes on your locomotive?
Hawkeye: We'll do that once you get your engine in front of us. We just passed milepost 27 doing 60. Get in front of us now!
Engineer Pony: Okay.
Hawkeye's train travelled for a few more miles without changing it's speed.
Engineer Pony: I see your train, and I'm getting in front of you. *Gets his engine in front of Hawkeye's train at 60 miles an hour*
Hawkeye: Decrease your speed to 55.
Engineer Pony: *Slowing down*
Hawkeye: We're getting close. Bring it down to 50.
Engineer Pony: *Slows his engine down to 50*
Hawkeye: *Puts his brakes on* Okay wait for it.. *Has his train tap the back of the other engine* Now, put your brakes on!
Engineer Pony: *Applies brakes*
The train started to slow down, then the engine in Hawkeye's train broke down, and stopped running.
Hawkeye: *Sighs* That was close. Thank you.
Nikki: *Her eyes are wide, and she is very scared* oiehrgiesurghesidugjbhsdghkoidgjsoingljfidchgukfghidughirhgur
Engineer Pony: *Drives away*
Hawkeye: Wait. Where are you going? You're not just leaving my train out here on the mainline, are you?
Engineer Pony: Not my choice. My boss told me to get this engine back to the yards. You have to wait until tomorrow.
Hawkeye: Great! Thanks for all your help! *Gets off radio* I can't wait that long.
Nikki: What are you going to do?
Hawkeye: I don't know about you, but I'm going to walk all the way back to Cheyenne. *Gets out of the train, and walks back to Cheyenne*
---
Band Ponies: Who wants to hear the next song?
Hawkeye: Great Balls Of Fire!!
Singer: Well if it's Great Balls Of Fire you want, it's Great Balls Of Fire you'll get it. And-a hit it.
Song: link
Band Ponies: *Playing their song*
Singer: You shake my nerves, and you rattle my brain. Too much love drives a man insane. You broke my will, but what a thrill. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.
Band Ponies: *Playing instruments*
Singer: I laughed at love, cause I thought it was funny. You came along, and moved me honey. I changed my mind, this love is fine. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire. Kiss me baby. Mmmmmh, feels good. Hold me baby. Well, I want to love you like a lover should. You're fine. So kind. I would tell this world that you're mine mine mine mine. I chew my nails, and then I twiddle my thumbs. I'm real nervous, but it sure is fun. Come on baby, you drive me crazy. Goodness gracious great balls of fire.
Hawkeye: *Dancing with Metal Gloss*
Metal Gloss: This is fun!
Hawkeye: Yeah! I'm glad that little filly wrote to us. It kinda surprises me how much a letter can do.
Ponies: *Enjoying music*
Piano Pony: *Playing piano* You like this song?
Ponies: YEAH!!
Piano Pony: Well our singer is going to sing some more. That's basically the only thing singers do.
Ponies: *Laughing*
Singer: Well, kiss me baby. Mmmmmh, feels good. Hold me baby. Well, I want to love you like a lover should. You're fine. So kind. I would tell this world that you're mine mine mine mine. I chew my nails, and then I twiddle my thumbs. I'm real nervous, but it sure is fun. Come on baby, you drive me crazy. Goodness gracious great balls of fire.
Ponies: *Clapping*
Episode 68
Song: link
Work was getting very difficult on the Southern Pacific. The snowfalls of winter have been so thick, that the SP needed to get a lot of snowplows to clear their line. One part of the SP was in a highly elevated area called the Sierra Neighvadas. So much snow falls there that it was as tall as a five story building.
But it could be worse, right? Well for Anthony it was. He always drove engine 2472, but in the summer of '56, his engine's smokestack got shot, and it had to be repaired. However, nopony got around to repairing it yet, so his engine always made a weird noise when he drove it.
Now stop the song.
On the station.
Nikki: *Wearing a fur coat*
Roger: *Not wearing anything* I don't see how you can be so cold.
Nikki: I don't see how you're not cold at all.
Roger: I'm a unicorn. I can make a spell to keep myself warm.
Nikki: You unicorns have answers to everything.
---
Workers: *Getting out of train*
Ryan: *Goes to leader* I just got more news from Michael.
Worker Leader: What?
Ryan: I said I got more ne-
Worker Leader: What is the news?
Ryan: He says that you should modify the bridge after you get the branch out from the river.
Worker Leader: He could have told us that sooner.
Ryan: I guess he wanted to, but he forgot.
Worker Leader: Some boss he is. At least I don't forget things.
Worker 52: That branch is out from the river boss.
Worker Leader: Yeah, yeah. Let's go home.
Ryan: Aren't you forgetting something?
Worker Leader: Not that I know of.
Ryan: Don't you remember that conversation we just had?
Worker Leader: No.
Ryan: You have to modify the bridge.
---
Some cables were used to keep the pipe in place, and it worked. However, when Anthony returned his engine to the yards in Ogden, everypony started to make fun of him.
Donut: *Laughing* When you told us that a new smokestack was going to be put on your engine, we didn't think it would be a hollow pipe!
Anthony: Shut up.
Roger: Oh, I got a perfect song for this very occasion. *Sings* Anthony said again, and again, his engine's new smokestack would grab our interest. He went through a tunnel, and lost the smokestack. Now the new smokestack is a hollow pipe!
Everypony: *Laughing*
Anthony: *Not amused* Great song Roger. Really great. *Walks away*
Episode 69
Stylo: What were you doing out there in those engines?
Renee: Waiting for somepony to crash into me, and have me killed.
Stylo: What?
Hawkeye: Why?
Renee: I don't deserve to live.
Hawkeye: Aw, come on. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Renee: It's true. I'm jinxed, and the B&O fired me because of that.
Hawkeye: *Angry* That's ridiculous. There's no such thing as being jinxed.
---
Pete: What do you mean jinxed?
Renee: That's the only explanation sir. The tracks were in good condition, the caboose had no damage on it's wheels, or axles, but it came derailed anyway. I'm jinxed.
Hawkeye: I think you've been telling us that for too long now. There is no such thing as a jinx.
All of a sudden, Pete's desk fell apart.
Pete: Hey! What the-?
Renee: Has that ever happened before?
Hawkeye: No it hasn't.
Stylo: Not until now anyway.
Pete: *Very angry* Hawkeye! Stylo! Get this fucking pony out of my office right away! On the double!!
Hawkeye: Right. *Leaves office with Stylo, and Renee*
---
Hawkeye: You seem to be going fast in reverse.
Stylo: I watched The Searchers in reverse. Everypony that died came right back to life.
Renee: Speaking of dying, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'll go too fast on this turn, and crash my train.
Her engines ran out of fuel, and they weren't going fast enough for her to go off the rails.
Hawkeye: Looks like you ran out of fuel.
Renee: Oh fiddlesticks.
Stylo: If you don't get your engines back onto your train, we'll find somepony else to take it for you.
Renee: All I wanted to do was crash, and kill myself, but no! Being jinxed sucks.
Episode 70
Hawkeye, and Stylo had to continue on to Denver with their train, but Mirage arrived in another locomotive to take Renee's engines back to the yards. Troublesome things had been happening to Mirage however, and when he towed Renee's engines back to the yards, this is what happened.
Mirage: *Pulling Renee's engines with his engines*
Renee: *Sitting next to Mirage* How many engines are you using?
Mirage: Three GP9's. We started getting them here since '54.
Renee: That's cool.
Mirage: Well I'm glad you think so. These engines really are neat.
One of them broke down.
Mirage: Oh no! Now I've gotta get three dead diesels into the yards.
Renee: *Thinking about being Jinxed* I think I know why.
Mirage: Well don't think about it. Just sit there, and think about happy thoughts.
The second engine broke down.
Renee: There goes another one.
Mirage: Blimey! *Stops train* Now I don't have enough power to get us back to the yards. Now what?
Renee: We wait. I'm sure somepony will help us soon.
But it took five hours for Hawkeye, and Stylo to come back from Denver. When they did, they were told to bring Mirage, and Renee's engines back to the yards.
---
Renee: *Trying to remain calm* Okay... This is it.. I am driving a train with explosives, but I'm not to worry. Nikki said as long as I don't go too fast, everything will be okay. *Looks at her speedometer* 35 miles an hour?! I gotta slow down! *Slows train down*
Donut: *Driving an express train at 60 miles an hour behind Renee's freight* Hey! Get that freight train out of my way!!
Renee: *Very scared. She applies the brakes, and hopes her train will come to a complete stop* Where did that come from?
Donut: Oh dear. *Jumps out of locomotive*
Suddenly, an explosion occured. Donut's train crashed into Renee's freight, which caused the explosives to go off. Thankfully, no one was hurt.
---
Pete: What happened? The cops told me you crashed your train just outside the yards.
Renee: A pony in the mafia threw a grenade at my train, but they don't believe me.
Police Pony: Alright, you're free to go.
Renee: *Gets out of police car*
Police Ponies: *Get in their car, and drive away*
Pete felt like Renee didn't belong here. He told Stylo to buy Renee a plane ticket back to Baltimare, so that she could be back at her house. When he asked why, Pete told him that she would not be driving anymore trains.
A few days later.
Pete: *Sitting in his office, and hears his phone ringing. He picks it up, and answers the call* Hello?
Renee: Hi Pete. You were right about my new job. It's lots of fun.
Pete: I told you owning your own model train shop would be fun. Now I know you're hundreds of miles away from us, but if you ever wanna visit us, please don't hesitate to do so.
Renee: Okay. Thanks again Pete. Goodbye.
Pete: Bye bye. *Hangs up* I'm gonna miss that mare, but at least she's happy with what she's doing now.
The End
Before season 8 starts, a special fanfiction will start. Look out for Ponies On The Rails: Foreign Visitors, arriving soon.
