In my opinion the whole world has gone mad, whacko! Just look at the traffic congestions on the main highway!

Ponies: *beeping horn*
drunk pony: *steals Coltillac*

The terrible conditions of our air traffic control system

Japanese: *bomb pearl harbor*

The destruction of private property, and the list goes on so much. The point is that Equestria has gone mad! And here's how it all started.

unicorn: *driving fast*
Pinkie Pie: Whats' with him?
unicorn: *driving 100 miles an hour*
Mirage: *honks horn*
unicorn: *drives off cliff*

Four cars arrived near the wreck.
The first car was a Sportsedan. In it was Spike, with Rarity, and Twilight.
The second car was a '75 corvette with Sean, and Rainbow Dash
The third car had Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy
The fourth car was a Hoofington Belvidere, driven by Mirage.

Spike, Sean, Pinkie, and Fluttershy, and Mirage went down to see the wreck.

Spike: Holy moly. Did you see the way he went sailing right out there?
Sean: What was he doing?
Spike: I don't know, but he was sailing right out there.
Pinkie Pie: Nopony is in the car!
Mirage: There's someone laying over there. That must be him!
unicorn: *coughing*
Sean: Sir are you ok?
Mirage: We'll get an ambulance.
unicorn: No. I'll be dead when it gets here. Listen, there's all this dough. 475 G's! Do you here what I'm saying? $475,000.
Fluttershy: Where is it?
unicorn: It's all burried under this big W. You just gotta go to a town called Santa Rosita, that's 5 miles south of St. Foalis.
Sean: Where in Santa Rosita is it?
unicorn: It's in the park, burried under a big W. You better find it quick, but don't let the police spot you.
Mirage: Why would the police want to get involved?
unicorn: Don't know, but you gotta avoid them. *dies*
Pinkie Pie: *closes eyes*
unicorn: *wakes up* Aunt belle?!
fluttershy: What?
unicorn: Is that you Aunt Belle?
Fluttershy: Umm. Yes?
unicorn: Tell me that no matter what ya do, it don't make any difference.
Fluttershy: Any difference for what?
unicorn: DO IT
Fluttershy: It doesn't make any difference.
unicorn: *kick bucket*
Spike: Is he dead?
Mirage: After he kicked that bucket, yeah.
Pinkie Pie: He better not wake up like that again. If he does I'm getting the buck outta here.

Another car stopped by, and two ponies wearing three peice suits, and top hats came out.

Sean: What are these guys doing?
Mirage: No idea. It must be the police.
Fluttershy: We can't let them slow us down.
Spike: We just gotta get this over with. Whatever you do, don't tell them about the money.
cop 1: *walks down*
Sean: Are you a police officer?
cop 1: *checks body* YEP!
cop 2: *calls for ambulance*
cop 1: How long ago did this happen?
Pinkie Pie: About a few minutes ago.
cop 1: Did he say anything?

No one replied

Cop 1: Did he say anything?!
Fluttershy: What about?
Cop 1: What do you mean what about, did he, or did he not say anything?!
Pinkie Pie: He thought Fluttershy was his Aunt Belle.
Cop 1: Really?
Sean: Yeah, you know how some ponies are while driving fast.
Cop 2: What happened here?
Cop 1: These five came here to see if they could help, but it was too late. You can go now.

So the five ponies left the police, and went toward their cars.

Twilight: Man what happened?
Spike: Somepony crashed their car.
Rarity: Oh no.
Twilight: Oh yes, he deserved it after nearly hitting us.
Rainbow Dash: What happened?
Sean: That crazy pony who passed us died. Let's go.

All eight of the main characters began to drive their cars.

Twilight: Man, what's this world coming to?
Spike: I don't know, these things just happen.
Twilight: What do you mean these things just happen?! That's how bad stuff happen, cuz people are too lazy to care, and do dumb things, which is why these things happen?

Rainbow Dash: Are you sure he wasn't messing with you?
Sean: He was nearly dead, of course he wasn't fooling around. We just gotta get there, before anyone else.
Rainbow Dash: You mean the others behind us?
Sean: Don't look!

Pinkie Pie: *looks back*
Fluttershy; Pinkie, just play it easy. Don't just constantly look back.

Mirage: Oh yeah? What are you gonna do?

Twilight: What did he mean by big W?
Spike: We'll know once we get there.

Rainbow Dash: Are you sure what he said with big W?
Sean: I don't know, may'be like a well or something.

Pinkie Pie: Waterfall!
Fluttershy: No.
Pinkie Pie: I hope not, then we'd get wet.
Fluttershy: Just think for words that start with W.
Pinkie Pie: Wisconsin!!

Mirage: W? Hmmm. Work, yeah I gotta work. On where it is.

Twilight: Just go fast, and see what happens.
Spike: Fine *floors it*

The other three were following at the same speed. Once Spike hit 60, he slowed down.

Twilight: What are you doing?!
Spike: We can't lost them this way.
Mirage: *going slower*
Twilight: What's that pony in the Hoofington doing?
Sean: Why is the red car behind us going slower?
Pinkie Pie: I bet he's outta gas. Wunderbar!

Mirage stopped his car, and tip toed toward the corner of the wall of rocks to see if the others stopped.

Mirage: It's all clea- AGH!
Sean: What happened? Engine trouble?
Fluttershy: Did you run out of gas?
Mirage: No, it's one of my tires.
Pinkie Pie: Was it?
Mirage: Ok fine! I tried to trick you all.
Spike: We're not getting anywhere doing this.
Sean: Yeah, why don't we all get in our cars, and discuss this where no one will see us?
Spike: I'm with him.

At a police station far away

police ponies: Where's captain Culpepper?
secretary: He's in his office.
Culpepper: *walks out of office* Alright, what happened with that orange unicorn?
cop 1: He drove off a cliff, and five ponies tried to help him.
Culpepper: What about the money?
cop 1: We don't know sir.
Culpepper: Find out about it pronto.

Back to the ponies in the four cars. A cop car following a ambulance passed by.

Cop 6: All units. One of the cars involved, is a blue Fillys.
Cop 1: Car 21, I just spotted all four of the cars. The ponies driving them are having a discussion of some kind.

Spike: There is $475,000 at stake here. How are we going to split it.
Mirage: There were four drivers, we should split it in four ways.
Sean: If we were to do that, each driver would get $118,750.
Pinkie Pie: Five of us went down there, we should split it in five ways.
Twilight: Man we're overlooking one thing though.
All: What?
Twilight: There were eight of us there, so eight of us get *pulls out calculator*
Rainbow Dash: Egghead.
Twilight: $59,375
Fluttershy: Uh, I don't know about that.
Twilight: What do you mean you don't know?
Sean: Twilight's right. We'll split it in eight ways, so let's quit complaining, and get it. After all, it's taxfree money.
Mirage: What do you mean tax free?
Sean: Once we get it-
Mirage: We don't have to pay taxes?
Sean: Yeah.
Mirage: Every pony has to pay taxes. Even ponies that work for the mafia, otherwise it's like stealing from the government.
Pinkie Pie: Will we quit complaining. I just thought of something. What if one group gets to the money, and leaves before anyone else arrives?
Twilight: Man that won't happen!
Pinkie Pie: Ja, it will. There's only one way to settle it, and that is everypony *dramatic 1 minute pause* For himself!

Everyone soon ran to there cars, and drove onto the road, racing like there was no tomorrow.

Twilight: Man drive faster!
Spike: I can't. It's bad enough I need stilts to hit the pedals, I don't wanna wreck this car.

Sean: What do you see on the map?
Rainbow Dash: Are we at the Golden Neigh bridge?
Sean: No, that's in San Franciscolt.
Rainbow Dash: What about the Fillyin wall?
Sean: That's in Europe!

Pinkie Pie: Mirage is blocking us.
Fluttershy: Well let's try to block off Spike.

Cop 13: All units. The cars involved are a Corvette, a Hoofington Belvedere, a Vriendscoupe Sportsedan, and a Fillys Equestricar.

Twilight: We're the ones in the Sportsedan, and we're in last!
Spike: I can't get them on the turns.
Rarity: Oh no!
Spike: What is it?
Rarity: DIIIIIIRT!!
Twilight: Man it's just a dirt road!

Sean: Here, you drive, I'll look at the map.
Rainbow Dash: *takes wheel*
Sean: Aha! I see it.

Mirage: What is going on with those two?

Pinkie Pie: Go faster!
Fluttershy: But my car can't go over 60.
Pinkie Pie: Then we need an airplane!

Sean: When we get there. We're going to live a wonderful life.
Twilight: Man move out of the way!
Sean: Hold that thought. *rams Spike's car*
Spike: aahhh! *stops*
Twilight: The nerve of that hedgehog.
Mirage: *crashes into Spike*
Twilight: Man what we're you thinking?!
Mirage: That you we're being stuck up, and shouldn't be in this.
Twilight: How dare you!
Spike: Clearly it was an accident, so why don't we go get help?
Twilight: Both of the cars are damaged!
Rarity: Hold on, there's a bicycle. One of you will have to ride it.
Twilight: He hit us, he should ride it.
Mirage: Whatever. *grabs bike* Wait a minute. This is a bike for a filly!
Spike: Just get help!
Mirage: *spray paints bike*
Twilight: What are you doing?!
Mirage: Repainting. I shall have it, in a cobalt kind of blue.
Twilight: What?
Spike: Cobalt is a dark blue
Twilight: shut up.
Mirage: Ok here we go *rides off*
Spike: Wait a minute, we're near an airport.
Twilight: I hate flying!
Spike: But you're an alicorn. Stop being wimpy like Fluttershy, and let's go.
Twilight: You two go, I'll get Shining Armor to help me.

Mirage was riding the bike, when another pony drove up in a red Flim.

Sam: Are you ok mister?
Mirage: Sure. I just need help to get someplace. You're not going to believe it once you here what I have to say.
Sam: Mmm hmm.
Mirage: We have to get to Santa Rosita, and find a box full of money, under a big W. You wanna find it?
Sam: Try me. I'm pretty gullible.

Twilight: *dials number*

Cadence: *dancing*
Shining Armor: *singing* After the lights go down low!! Baby you know! There ain't be no reason for teasin these days! And when the dancing-

Twilight: Man, he won't pick up!

Sam: Do you know what he said by big W?
Mirage: Not sure, but he said it was at the park there. We must find it.
Sam: Sure thing *starts car* Oh, move that bike outta the way. Somepony might trip over it in the dark.
Mirage: Oh yeah. *moves bike*
Sam: *drives off*
Mirage: 0_____0
Sam: *waves*

Pilot: Alright. Give me a couple of minutes, then we'll take off.
Fluttershy: Are you a pilot?
Spike: Sorry, we already got the plane. See ya!
Pinkie Pie: There has to be another spot to find a plane!
Pilot: Try the country club back a couple of miles.
Rarity: Now we can make it there in no time.

Returning to Sam, he was driving when his car got a flat tire. Mirage went on a short rampage, then followed on the bike. Knowing that Mirage was close, Sam continued to drive, with the flat tire.

Erik: Our first week open.
Willy: We shall help anypony that has a problem with their car.
Sam: *drives up* Listen. I need your help. I need a new tire, and while you're at it refill my car with gasoline. Here's 7 dollars, if the stuff is worth less then 7, keep the change.
Erik: What are you talking about?
Sam: Somepony has gone crazy, and is chasing me!
Mirage: YOU!
Sam: AH! That's him! *hides*
Mirage: *runs around car*
Erik: What do we do?
Sam: What do you mean what do you do?! Hit him with something!!

While Sam was being chased around his car, Erik hit Mirage in the head with a beer bottle.

Sam: Excellent.
Willy: We got you car fixed.
Sam: Thanks. You're life savers! *drives away*

Pinkie Pie: Please. We need an airplane to borrow!
british pony: Sorry, but this is a country club, not an airport.
Fluttershy: Ooh. What about that airplane over there?
biritish pony: That belongs to Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. He is not flying anywhere.
Pinkie Pie: Where is he?
british pony: Mmh hold that thought. *picks up phone* Hello? Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Pinkie, and Fluttershy sneaked into the country club to find Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. How do they succeed?

Pinkie Pie: Where's Bartholomew?!
Fluttershy: There he is!
Waiter: Ladies, he's asleep. You can't disturb him!
Pinkie Pie: We don't wanna disturb him. We just have to ask him a question. Guten Tag?
Bartholomew: *snores*
Pinkie Pie: He must have a cold.
Fluttershy: Sir? I'm Fluttershy, and this is Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie: How do you do?
Fluttershy: Oh shut up with the "How do you do?"
Bartholomew: *wakes up*
Pinkie Pie: His cold seems to be getting worse.
Bartholomew: I can't see.
Pinkie Pie: Must be an eye cold.
Bartholomew: I can't see, I can't see. WAITER?!!?
Waiter: What?
Bartholomew: I can't see!
Waiter: *opens blinds*
Bartholomew: AHHH *falls on floor*

Mirage: *wakes up* Where am I? What's going on?
Erik: Don't worry, we called up some friends, and they're going to take good care of ya.
Willy: They'll take you to a special place.
Mirage: What are you talking about? Let me go! *breaks free*
Willy: Aahaeshseae!!
Erik: *runs*
Mirage: *jumps on Erik*
Erik: Get him off me!!
Willy: uhhh, i don't know what to do!!
Mirage: You can start acting normal *punches Willy*
Erik: *runs for bathroom*
Willy: *goes into woman's room*
Mirage: *breaks doors*
Erik & Willy: *run*
Mirage: You two are getting on my nerves, I mean it! STOP
Willy; Erik, we're gonna have to kill him.
Both: CHAARGE!! *playing trumpet*
Mirage: *dodges attack*
Erik: Get off me!
Mirage: *takes keys*
Willy: He's taking the truck!
Mirage: *drives off*
Willy: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Erik: We just opened too!

Rarity: When I said I'd be flying, I didn't mean in a rustbucket like this
Spike: Relax. It's made with precision. What year was this made?
Pilot: 1908!
Spike: See? Really great year for airplanes!
Pilot: *takes off*

Twilight: Man, I need to get ahead *teleports somewhere*
Sean: It sure is a beautiful day out. Not as beautiful as you though.
Rainbow Dash: Aw, thanks. *kisses Sean*
Twilight: Man watch where your going!
Sean: Oh great.
Twilight: *flattens tire*
Sean: Aaahahahahabisjerzbgvikeszgvbkjze *crashes*
Twilight: That oughta teach you not to kiss while driving!
Sean: Really? *chases Twilight*
Twilight: Man is this cuz I'm black?!?
Sean: No it's cuz you sound like a black man!
Twilight: That's what I said!
Sean: You're supposed to sound like a woman! Not like a man!
Twilight: Man, I thought it was cuz I'm black!
Sean: I hate racism! *hits Twilight*

We return to the police station, where Culpepper was going over some stuff.

cop 1: What's up captain?
Culpepper: I found out where that unicorn hid the money!
cop 1: So?
Culpepper: If I find it, I can use the money to go on a vacation. I deserve it, especially after what I've gone through.
cop 1: If you say so sir.
Culpepper: *goes back to office*
cop 1: He's probably calling his wife.
cop 2: It's gotta be obvious dude. *walks away*

Pinkie, and Fluttershy rushed into the stallion's room where Bartholomew was taking a shower, but somehow fell asleep.

Pinkie Pie: Mr Perfect?
Fluttershy: The 55th?
Bartholomew: *sleeping*
Pinkie Pie: *opens door* Wake up, this is important.
Bartholomew: *wakes up* AAAHHHHH!!! *falls asleep again*
Fluttershy: Bart?
Bartholomew: *wakes up* Don't call me that. What do you want?
Pinkie Pie: We heard you have an aunt that lives in Santa Rosita.
Bartholomew: I do?
Pinkie Pie: Ja. She sent us to take you to her. We gotta fly there.

And speaking of flying

Pilot: *flying plane*
Spike: *looks at traffic*
driver: *honks horn*
Spike: All the cars are going faster! Can't we get more speed?!
Pilot: Going fast uses more fuel, and will cost extra!
Spike: How much?!
Pilot: $50!
Spike: I'll pay when we land!
Pilot: NOW
Spike: What?
Pilot: You have to pay NOW
Spike: Fine
Rarity: *screams* There's a bug on the windshield! GET IT!!
Spike: *breaks window*
Pilot: Hey! You're damaging my aircraft.

Sean: *ties up Twilight* That will teach you to prevent us from kissing.
Twilight: Man, if you crash don't say I didn't warn ya.
Rainbow Dash: Whatever *gets in car*
Sean: *drives*
Rainbow Dash: Uh, did you remember to put air in that deflated tire?
deflated tire: *falls off*
Sean: Nope.

Twilight: *breaks free*
Mirage: *stops* Ma'am, are you alright?
Twilight: You!
Mirage: You!
Twilight: You gotta help, Sean & Rainbow Dash tied me up to a tree, and attacked me!
Mirage: Gentlecolts never slap a mare! You may be annoying, but I'll help you.
Twilight: Man, I ain't annoyin!

Further up the road

Sam: *driving*
old pony: Hey! STOP
Sam: *stops* What's the matter?
old pony: It's my wife! She's sick, I need to get to her, and my bus broke down!
Sam: Yeah yeah, I'll help get in
old pony: *gets in*
Sam: *drives* This road is bumpy! No wonder your wife got sick.

Back at the police station

Culpepper: *calls his wife*
??: Hello?
Culpepper: Billy Sue, it's your dad sweetheart. Could you get your mom on the line?
BS: Sure.
Wife: Hello?
Culpepper: Honey, I did it!
Wife: Did what?
Culpepper: I solved the Robbin' Bob case.
Wife: Now what the buck is the Robbin Bob case?
Culpepper: The case I've been trying to solve for 15 years. It's over, I'll get paid a lot of money, and we'll go on a vacation.
Wife: Will Billy Sue come with us?
Culpepper: NO! Just the two of us.

Back to Sam, again.

Sam: HOLD IT! This hill is too steep!
old pony: Oh shut up, my Bus can go up this hill.
Sam: Alright. Here we go *drives down hill* This will be a pain to go back up.
old pony: Ok, that's far enough. Thank you
Sam: Your welcome *drives away*
colt: *watching*
Sam: *floors it up hill*

Sam's car almost made it up, but it wouldn't go any further. Pretty soon, it went back down

Sam: For Celestia's sake! *hits dashboard* There has to be another way to the main road!!!
colt: I can show you a way to the main road
Sam: You can? Where?
colt: I'll show you.
Sam: Alright. Get in my car, and you'll get a dollar.
colt: 3 dollars.
Sam: Oh fine *mumbles*

Spike, and Rarity landed in the plane. The wing fell off once they got their.

Spike: Thanks!
Pilot: You're welcome.
Rarity: What do we do now?
Spike: We get stuff to dig!

Rainbow Dash: I'm sure you shouldn't drive with a missing tire.
Sean: It's fine, trust me. *nearly hits truck*

Twilight: Man, stop here.
Mirage: Alright *stops*
Twilight: I'm going to call Shining Armor, and he'll get the money for us.

Meanwhile at the crystal empire.

Cadence: *dancing*
Shining Armor: Yeah, baby!! You're so good.
Twilight: *calling castle*
Shining Armor: Is it me, or do I hear bells? That sweet sound of bells!
Cadence: It's the phone *picks up phone* Hello?
Twilight: Man who's dat?! Get Shining Armor on the line!
Cadence: Shining, it's your sister.
Shining Armor: Twily! Good old twily *takes phone* Hey lil' sis, how ya doing?
Twilight: Man listen to me! I need you to go to Santa Rosita, and get the money under a big W.
Shining Armor: What are you talking about?What are you doing?
Twilight: Are you listening? There is a park in Santa Rosita, money is under a big W, you gotta get there.
Shining Armor: I will, but what happened so far?
Twilight: Spike, and Rarity took a plane, and are probably ahead, but I need you to go in case they screw up.
Shining Armor: What about your other friends?
Twilight: (I'll give Rainbow Dash a hard time) Rainbow Dash's boyfriend attacked me!
Shining Armor: He what?!
Twilight: He's a hedgehog driving a blue car! Go get him, but bring the money!
Shining Armor: Don't worry. I'll get it *hangs up*
Mirage: Well?
Twilight: Shining Armor will have things under control.

Bartholomew: *flying plane*
Fluttershy: How many more drinks do you want?
Bartholomew: Less talking, more booze!
Fluttershy: I'm making it while talking.
Bartholomew: If you want, I'll make the next batch. Pink mare, you fly this thing.
Pinkie Pie: But, I'm not sure how.
Bartholomew: How hard can it be? You just keep this thing up in the air, and don't crash.
Fluttershy: Are you sure you should let her fly?
Bartholomew: Yes, she's doing very well. Who says this mare can't fly?!
Pinkie Pie: *tilts plane to left*
Bartholomew: *falls asleep*
Fluttershy: Bartholomew's asleep!!!
Pinkie Pie: WHAT?!!? *freaks out*
Fluttershy: Keep control of the plane!!
Pinkie Pie: I can't! *nearly hits cliff*

taxi stopped at a store on the street, and out of the cab came Spike, and Rarity.

driver: That'll be $2.90
Spike: Here's $3, keep the change, but wait here for us.
driver: Sure.
Spike: Come on let's go.
Rarity: I'm following!
store owner: Sorry you two, we're closing.
Spike: All we need is a pick, and shovel!
store owner: Fine. Get what you need.
Rarity: I can't find any of them.
Spike: I found it. Let's go!
employee: *locks door*
store owner: *turns off lights*
Rarity: What happened?
Spike: We're locked in! NOOOOOOOOO

Pinkie Pie: *barrel rolls plane*
Fluttershy: Hello?! Anyone?! help
Pinkie Pie: Say it louder!!
Fluttershy: HELPP! No one can hear me!
Pinkie Pie: I can hear you!
Fluttershy: I don't care if you can hear me! HELLO????

Sean: *driving without tire*
Rainbow Dash: We only have three tires.
Sean: So? *loses control*

They soon ended up jumping out of the car just before it went over a cliff.

Rainbow Dash: AHHHHHH!! *attacks Sean*
Sean: soierjgtot9ahieguseen *kicks Rainbow Dash*

Culpepper: How's the race going?
cop 2: Not too bad. Spike, and Rarity got stuck in a store.
Culpepper: Now how the buck did they do that?
cop 2: No one saw them enter, and they got stuck inside.
Culpepper: Should we help them?
cop 2: No. They got in, they can get out.
Culpepper: But a baby dragon is stuck in there.
Cop 2: A DRAGON?!!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

Pinkie Pie: *flying like retard*
Fluttershy: HELP! WE CAN'T GET DOWN!!!
control tower ponies: Relax. There are four of us, and we will help you.
Pinkie Pie: JA! We got a reply!!
Fluttershy: Ponies on the ground? This is us in the air, we need your help getting down! wait a minute, there's no reply coming from them!
CTP 1: You have to talk into the mic while holding the button, and let go of it when you finish.
Fluttershy: I got it.

Twilight: Man if you didn't crash into my car, we wouldn't be in this predicament!
Mirage: *stops truck* That's it. I'm not dealing with you anymore!
Twilight: What about how gentlecolts don't slap mares?!
Shining Armor: Hold on sis! I'ma comin!!
Mirage: *pulls Twilight out of truck*

The truck then started to roll down a hill

Twilight: Man I got this *teleports behind truck*
truck: *hits Twilight*
Mirage: *runs after truck*
Twilight: I glad to be a cartoon!
Shining Armor: I'm going for ya Twilight!!

Sam: *stops car* Wait a minute! That's a river!
colt: YEah.
Sam: You expect me to drive through that?!
colt: come on!

cop 1: Sir? Your wife is on the line.
Culpepper: Wonderful *walks to office*
cop 2: This can't be good.
cop 1: He seemed happy.
Culpepper: Hello sweetheart?
wife: Our daughter left the house.
Culpepper: What do you mean she left the house?
Wife: She's at the train station.
Culpepper: I'll call her. *picks up other phone*

Spike: I know how to get outta here! *sets door on fire*
Rarity: Oh jeez!

Sean & Rainbow Dash: *hit each other* OW

Mirage: Look what you've done!
Twilight: Man this was your fault.
Mirage: Whatever *drives without Twilight*
Twilight: *teleports in truck*

Sam: Fine! I'll drive. *drives into river* IT'S TOO DEEP!! TOO DEEP!!! You rotten foal!
colt: *waves goodbye*

Culpepper: *puts phones together* You two talk it out!!
cop 1: What happened sir?
Culpepper: Mares!!

part of the theme song

So be a happy fellow!
Be a tomboy
Do anything!
Get off the shelf, and enjoy yourself
It's a mad Mad MAD MAD!!
It's a mad It's a mad It's a mad It's a mad
WORLD!!

It seemed dark in the store, but soon a light appeared. Then it started moving.

Rarity: I'm scared!
Spike: Don't worry, a few sticks of dynamite are there, and it will blow a hole in the door.
Fuse: *stops*
Spike: Wait a minute
Fuse: *sets box on fire*
Rarity: Don't go there!
Spike: For crying out loud I can do it! Why do you always act like I don't know anything?!
box: *explodes*
fireworks: *come out of box*
Rarity: *screaming*

Pinkie Pie: *flying upside down*
Fluttershy: If you don't stop, I'll end up like Bartholomew!!
Pinkie Pie: At least you can sleep!
control: Alright listen. It's important that the one flying the plane, is also on the radio.
Fluttershy: *gives Pinkie Pie mic*
Pinkie Pie: Nein!
Fluttershy: You have to take it!
Pinkie Pie: I don't want it!! It's like I have to do everything for you!! What am I the hostess?

Culpepper: Alright. What happened so far?
cop 1: Spike, and Rarity tried setting up dynamite to open the door, but that failed.
Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy are still in the air in that airplane, not sure what they're doing.
Sean, and Rainbow Dash lost the corvette, and borrowed a red Canterlot from a dealership nearby.
Mirage is with Twilight in a tow truck.
This pony Shining Armor is behind, but is catching up rapidly.
Sam drove his car into the water, and is now on foot. Either way, it could still be anypony's game.
Culpepper: Well in that case, I better get ready.

Sam: *waving for car*
Billy: Do you need a ride?
Sam: Yeah, thanks. Take me to Santa Rosita.
Billy: Uh, ok. *drives*
cop 46: *flying helicopter* All units, I just spotted Sam entering someone else's car.
Culpepper: Follow him!
Sam: *spots helicopter* Get down!!
Billy: Why?
Sam: There's a helicopter behind us!!
Billy: Oh jeez!! It's a police helicopter!
Sam: That's what they always use. Ok listen, I'm in kind of a jam.
Billy: What kind of a jam?
Sam: Shut up, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I have to since this is a matter of life, and death.
Billly: What is?
Sam: Would you shut up? I'm X27, for the CIE. Central Intelligence Equestria. Call HQ in Canterlot, and tell them that X27, is being attacked by mexicans.
Billy: Why should I call them?
Sam: Because they never saw you before. You're in no danger :D now pull over there, and call the CIE.
Billy: *stops car*
Sam: Alright, I'm going to refuel the car, and come back for ya *pushes Billy out of car*
Billy: Hey!
Sam: *drives off*

control: Now the important thing is *gets dangled in wires* to make sure that you slow down in time enough for the landing, if you don't then- what is with this wire?
Pinkie Pie: *flies past*
control: What was that?
Pinkie Pie: We're near the highway now! *goes through billboard*
Fluttershy: *gets nervous*
Pinkie Pie: I think I know what to do now!

Twilight: Man, I'm starting to think that Shining Armor forgot about all this.
Mirage: No he didn't. I'm sure he's just a little bit delayed. That's all.
Shining armor: I'ma comin for ya Twilight!! But first, I gotta attack someone!! *stops at stop sign*
Twilight: Man there he is!
Shining Armor: *floors it* I'll find ya Twilight!
Mirage: *goes after Shining Armor*
cops: *stop near each other* They're nuts. They just turned around, and started chasing the Marecedez!
Sean: From now on I promise to drive with all four tires on the car.
Rainbow Dash: Good.
Shining Armor: DASH!!! *turns around*
Sean: *kisses Rainbow Dash* What is with that pony behind us?
Rainbow Dash: I don't know it's- Shining Armor?!
Shining Armor: Hey man! Why do you keep making me mad?!? When I get ya, I'm gonna get ya! I'm gettin mad right now!!
Rainbow Dash: What's he doing here?
Sean: Is he not normal?
Rainbow Dash: Way beyond that!

Shining got his car next to Sean's, and they started ramming each other, half the time Shining Armor would roll to the other side of the car while driving!

Sean: I think I know why he's not normal.
Shining Armor: WHY DO YOU MAKE ME MAD????
Sean: *drives on grass*
Rainbow Dash: Shining? Leave us alone!
Shining Armor: NO! You attacked my sister! Sean: *rams car*
Shining Armor: *rolls to other side of car*

Sean then made Shining Armor crash into a river, but he also crashed.

Shining Armor: How dare you attack my sister!!
Rainbow Dash: I didn't mean to! *runs from Shining Armor*
Shining Armor: *hits Rainbow Dash* Are you that hedgehog dating Dash?
Sean: *nervously* Yes. I am! do you like hedgehogs?!
Shining Armor: RRAHH!! *idiotically attacks*
Mirage: *stops* What are you guys doing?
Twilight: Man, how'd you crash yo car?
Shining Armor: This grey hedgesomething made me do it!
Sean: Hedge hog!

Spike: Ok, we'll try blowing a hole in the wall this time!
Rarity: Promise me you won't hurt anyone.
Spike: A few sticks of dynamite can't do any harm.
dynamite: *explodes*
koreans: AAH!
Spike: It's ok. We just couldn't get the door open. *runs off*
store owner: I'm here today on USE news to-
Spike & Rarity: *run past*
store owner: HEY! What are you doing? You vandals!!
taxi driver: The police here are run by imbecules! They just lock up a baby dragon, and a beautiful mare for what?
Spike: Excuse me?
taxi driver: Hold on, I'm talking. Wait a minute! You we're in my cab earlier!! What happened to you?
Spike: It's a long story, just take us to the park.

We continue with Mirage, Sean, Rainbow Dash, Shining Armor, and Twilight all in one truck, until.

Mirage: I can't be cooped up in here, stop the truck!
Shining Armor: How ironic we stopped at a dealership.
dealer: Come one, come all to the Dodge dealership of St. Foalis. We have new Alicorns, Pegasus, Cobras, Kodachromes, and trucks.
Mirage: Hold on, did he say Alicorn? *goes to dealer* I'd like a Dodge Alicorn pronto!!
dealer: That'll be $3000
Mirage: Here *takes car*
Sam: *goes past*
Mirage: HIM! *drives car* I'm gonna get you! You dirty robber!!
Sean: Someone he knows?

Pinkie Pie: *flying backwards* I didn't know this was possible. I must be skilled at this!
Fluttershy: Yeah, I guess that's why you can't land it.
Pinkie Pie: Of course I can land this thing. Watch me! *goes toward runway*
Fluttershy: *gets scared*
Pinkie Pie: *lands* It's still moving, hold on! *crashes into diner*

The two pink maned ponies then ran out of the airplane quickly. They found a taxi to ride.

Fluttershy: Quick! Take us to the park in Santa Rosita!
cab driver: Ok.

Culpepper: *walks toward car*
cop 1: You ready?
Culpepper: Yeah. Let's get to our position. *drives*

While Culpepper was going to meet up with the other cops, two taxis went by. The first had Spike, and Rarity in it, and the second had Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy.

Culpepper: I saw two taxi cabs go by. They must be carrying some of the ponies trying to get the money. Let me do this, every other unit must stay out of this!
cops: Yes sir! *drive away*
Culpepper: *backs up*
Sam: *drives past*
Culpepper: Hmmm
Sam: *going fast*
Mirage: *going after Sam*
Culpepper: Lucky.
Shining Armor: *goes past Culpepper*
Sean: *nearly falls out* Watch where you're going!!

The taxis stopped at the park. Spike, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy ran out of the cabs quickly.

cab driver 1: What do you suppose they're doing?
cab driver 2: No clue, half of them we're carrying a pick, and a shovel.
cab driver 1: We better find out about this
Sam: *crashes into fence*
Rarity: I don't want to find the money!
Spike: What do you mean? Aren't you curious to find out about all this?
Rarity: I'm more disgusted. *walks away*
Spike: Jeez.
Mirage: *drives toward entrance*
Shining Armor: *does the same*
Twilight: Man let's go find the money!
Pinkie Pie: *sees cab drivers* Who are they?
Fluttershy: I don't know.
Pinkie Pie: *sees Shining Armor* Who's he?
Fluttershy: I don't know!
Pinkie Pie: *sees Sam* Who's that?
Fluttershy: I don't know.
Pinkie Pie: How many others got involved in this?
Fluttershy: Who cares? We have to find the money!
Rarity: *sits on bench*
Culpepper: Hello ma'am. How are you on this fine day?
Rarity: I'm good.
Sean: Where is that big W?

There were four trees forming a W, but Sean didn't notice.

Rainbow Dash: Is that it?
Sean: Nah, it's too obvious. Keep looking.
Rarity: *looks* I found it.
Culpepper: Found what?
Rarity: The big W, but I wasn't even looking!
Culpepper: We gotta get it before the others find it!
Mirage: *walking*
Sam: *walking*
Mirage: There you are!! *runs after Sam*
sam: No!! AAHHHHHHHH *runs away*
Mirage: *turns around* But of course! The big W!!!
Culpepper: They beat it to us. Just great :(
Shining Armor: LET'S DIG!! *digs for money*
Mirage: *digging*
Sean: *digging*
others: GET THE MONEY! COME ON GET IT!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO COME!!!!!
Shining Armor: Ok move, gimme space
Sean: Whatever *walks away*
Shining Armor: Now you gotta move!
Mirage: What are you talking about?
Shining Armor: I said move! You're making me mad, out baby out!!
Mirage: Don't call me baby.
Shining Armor: I got the suitcase! Now let's see what we've got!

They opened the suitcase, and there was money in it. All $475,000 of it.

Twilight: Man there it is!!
Sam: You weren't kidding after all
Mirage: Of course I wasn't!
Sam: We oughta give Mirage most of the money since he found it.
Pinkie Pie: NEIN! We split it equally
Sam: Listen, there's enough for all of us. There's 1 *him* 2 *sean* 3 *rainbow dash* 5 *cab drivers* 6* Pinkie Pie* 7 *Fluttershy* 8 *Spike* 9 *Twilight Sparkle* 10 *Shining Armor* 11 *Rarity* 12 *Mirage* 13 *Captain Culpepper* 14 *him*
Mirage: You counted yourself twice you cheater! *attacks Sam*
Sam: HEY STOP!! I'll call the cops on you!!
Culpepper: What makes you think the cops will care about this Sam?
Sam: Because he attack- wait a minute?
Mirage: How'd you know his name?
Culpepper: I didn't know Mirage.
Mirage: How'd you know my name?
Culpepper: Let's just say I'm a cop.
Sean: You?
Culpepper: Yes sir.
Sean: I'm a hedgehog!
Culpepper: Now, how about you give me the money?

They gave the money to Culpepper, and walked back to the cars.

Rainbow Dash: Is there any way we can keep the cash? We've had a rough day?
Culpepper: No, but you will get some money if you turn yourselves in for finding all this.
Twilight: Then what are we waiting for? Let's turn ourselves in!
Culpepper: You two know where the police station is, correct?
cab drivers: Yes.
Culpepper: Ok, you'll have to take them down there.
Spike: But we can't all fit in the cabs.
Culpepper: Yeah, but you can't take the truck or the red car, those are stolen vehicles.
Mirage: My car isn't!! :D
Culpepper: Correct. One or two of you could ride with Mirage in his car.
Sam: I shall ride with the noble Mirage!!
Mirage: You won't do anything stupid will you?
Sam: Of course not!

So everyone got in the cab, except for Sam, and Mirage, then they drove off.

Culpepper: *goes on radio* HQ?
cop 1: Yes sir?
Culpepper: The guys trying to get the money are coming to HQ. There was joker in the deck. Did you get that?
cop 1: Yes sir.
Culpepper: Excellent *drives*

Pinkie Pie: Something seemed strange about why that cop stayed back there.
Fluttershy: What do you mean?
Sean: It just seemed like he was trying to screw us over.
cab driver 1: Yeah, I agree.
Mirage: Let's pull over, and see what happens.

The police station was to the left, but Captain Culpepper went to the right.

Sean: Why's he going that way?
Rarity: After him!!
Mirage: *drives*
cab drivers: *drive cars*

Culpepper didn't notice the three were chasing him, and continued to where he was going.

boat driver: Hello Captain
Culpepper: You're the captain from now on, it's your boat.
boat driver: Hey, who are in those three cars?
Culpepper: They're not supposed to be here!! *drivers away*
cabbys & Mirage: *turn around*
boat driver: What in the name of Celestia is going on?!
Culpepper: *drives onto highway*
others: *follow*
Twilight: Man you gotta catch up to him!!
cab driver 2: I'm on it!!
cab driver 1: Which way is he going?!?
Sean: STRAIGHT!
Culpepper: *goes right*
cop 23: Raise the bridge! A train's coming!
Culpepper: *goes on bridge*
cop 23: STOP THE TRAIN!!
engineer: *hits bridge*
others: *follow Culpepper*

Just when the others made it across, the bridge collapsed.

Culpepper: *goes right*
cab drivers: *go right*
Sam: *turns steering wheel left*
Mirage: You liar! *turns around*
Sam: I only did one idiotic thing, relax.
Culpepper: *passes other cars*
cab driver 2: *hits firehydrant*
Twilight: Man, you drive like an asian
cab driver 2: I am asian!!
Mirage: *catches up*
Culpepper: *goes into alleyway*
pony pedestrian: *jumps out of way*
others: *follow*
Culpepper: *goes right*
cab driver 1: *hits Culpepper's car*
Culpepper: *runs out of car*
other drivers: *block alleyway*
Culpepper: *jumps over cars*
Mirage: Please don't ruin my dodge. *runs out*

The captain ran into a building that was being condemned, and the others stopped for a moment.

Mirage: Alright, all you mares stay here.
Twilight: Man what do you mean all mares?
Spike: Shut up Twilight!

Culpepper was hiding a floor above the group that wanted to take the money from him.

Spike: Where is he?
Shining Armor: He has to be around here somewhere.
Culpepper: *drops suitcase*
Sean: Upstairs!! *runs*
Culpepper: *goes up a floor*
others: *follow*

Culpepper kept running up the stairs. After going up 6 floors, Sam tried to grab him, but lost his grip, and fell on the others.

Sean: Congrats! You let him get ahead!
Culpepper: *goes onto roof* Oh dear
others: There he is!!
Culpepper: *climbs down*
mayor: Due to idiots that like history, we can't smash this building.
ponies: Look up there!
mayor: HEY!! What are you doing up there?!?
Mirage: *grabs Culpepper*
Sean: Give us the money!
Culpepper: NO!
cab drivers: GIve us the money! We have a lousy job!
Culpepper: That's your problem!!
Shining Armor: I'll grab the suitcase!! *opens it*
oops
ponies: Hey look, money! *grab it*
Sean: CULPEPPER!!!!
Culpepper: Yes?
ponies: *grab money*
Twilight: Man that's MY MONEY!! *hits other pony*
Culpepper: If you didn't chase me we wouldn't be in this!

The stairs we were soon on collapsed, and we were holding on to a dangling part of metal, 900 feet above the ground.

All: HELP!!!
Rainbow Dash: Oh no
Fluttershy: Oh my!
Pinkie PIE: NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!!
firefighters: *arrive in firetruck* Raise the ladder!
firefighter 1: *goes up*
Spike: Finally!!
firefighter 1: Now be careful. Only one at a time
all: Yeah yeah whatever *get on at once*

The ladder then started to lose control, and moved on all over the place

city band: *play funny music*
Sam: AHH *flies off*

He ended up in someone's apartment, and landed in a bed. Two peices of glass were in his back.

Shining Armor: *falls in river*
firefighters: This is intense! WE CAN'T CONTROL IT!!
cab driver 2: *falls off*

This cabby landed on a statue of some scary pony made out of concrete, and rubber.

The other cab driver landed on a taxi cab. How ironic.

Mirage: I WON"T LET GO *falls on tree*
Sean: Chaos control *teleports in midair* Oh boy *falls on ground*
Spike: *falls toward building* RARITY!!
Culpepper: *flies into pet store*

All of the stallions ended up in the hospital after the events of losing money.

Sean: Well, I hope you're happy with yourself.
Sam: We had $475,000 in our hands. You just let it go.
Mirage: How do you feel?
Culpepper: I feel depressed. If it makes any of you feel better, here's how my life is going so far. My wife is divorcing me, I'm going to jail, and because of what I've done, you all get off scot free.
Shining Armor: I wish there was some way to make us smile.
Sean: Yeah *eating banana*

When I finished my banana I threw the peel on the floor, then came Twilight with the rest of the mares.

Twilight: Man listen here you basterds! Thanks to you, we- *slips on banana peel*
nurses: *try to help*
Twilight: MAN LET ME GO!! I DON'T NEED HELP!!!
all: *laugh*

To here the theme song to this fanfic go to.... link

Cars made fun of

Buick - Flim
Cadillac - Coltillac
Chevrolet - Chevronet
Dodge itself
Ford - Flam
Mercedez Benz - Marecedez
Mercury - Marecury
Plymouth - Hoofington
Pontiac - Canterlot
Volkswagen - Vriendscoupe
Willys - Fillys

The End