My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Club
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We were heading back to Ponyville on two boats that we stole from the Japanese Mafia.

Celestia: When we get back to Ponyville, I'll have to take you to Canterlot.
Rainbow Dash: What for?
Celestia: There's something important regarding you, and your boyfriend.
Rainbow Dash: What?
Celestia: I cannot tell you now. I must wait until we get back into the United States.
Rainbow Dash: If it's that important, I understand.

Meanwhile in the Griffon Kingdom.

Twilight: *On telephone* Yes Doctor. I have just arrived here.
Dr. Robotnik: *On death egg* Excellent. You must get defenses set up. A shield generator should be around your position. We can use it for the Death Egg, and then the Pony Alliance will not be able to defeat it.
Twilight: We'll be victorious, and all of Equestria will be in our control. *Laughing*
Robotnik: *Laughing as well*

Four hours later, in Canterlot. Celestia was in her room with Rainbow Dash.

Celestia: *Looking around room* At first I didn't think it would be possible, but I gotta stop fooling myself. I feel old, but do I look old to you?
Rainbow Dash: No. Of course not.
Celestia: *Looking at herself in mirror* You're right. I look exactly like I did three hundred years ago.
Rainbow Dash: What exactly are you telling me?
Celestia: I'm telling you, that soon you'll have to deal with what I'm doing. When 1,500 years old, you'll know what I'm talking about.
Rainbow Dash: I don't think I'll ever be that old.
Celestia: That's where you're wrong. I can't live much longer with my old age, and I'm afraid, soon that I'm going to die.
Rainbow Dash: Princess Celestia, you can't die.
Celestia: It happens to all of us. Even immortal ponies like me. It just takes a lot, and I mean, a lot of time. *Laying in bed*
Rainbow Dash: Why do you want me, of all ponies to take your job?
Celestia: Because, you're loyal, and brave. There's just one thing you need to do.
Rainbow Dash: What?
Celestia: You have to defeat your sister, Twilight Sparkle. *Closes eyes*

Celestia soon passed away.

Rainbow Dash: *walks out of castle* I can't do it. *Sits down* Twilight is too powerful for me to take down.
???: That ain't the Rainbow Dash I know.
Rainbow Dash: *Looks up* Applejack.
Applejack: That's right.
Rainbow Dash: But you were killed at that POW camp.
Applejack: Several hours later, unicorns working for MI6 sneaked by, and brought me back to life. Then, I got back to Ponyville, and I heard from Pinkie Pie that you were supposed to be here for something Celestia wanted you to do. I overheard your conversation with the Princess, and I think you have what it takes to defeat Twilight in order to become the princess.
Rainbow Dash: I don't have what it takes. Twilight nearly killed me when we were rescuing Cadence, and I can't beat her.
Applejack: Than, the Nazis have already won. You were our only hope.
Rainbow Dash: No one else can defeat her?
Applejack: Only you. I remember when you were pushing that train up the hill to get us to the Grand Galloping Gala, and you said, "I think I can, I think I can." Now, you ain't acting like that.
Rainbow Dash: You know what? You're right. I think I can defeat Twilight.

2 B continued
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Source: Tate, as shown on the pic. Found on Derpibooru.
#1: THE POKEMON STORY:
WE WERE WARNED. For months Rob told us there was a spirit-shattering tale of Pokemon-y wrongness out there, and we laughed at him. He said it was the worst fan fiction he’d seen, and we waved him off. We taunted him, begged him to fucking show it. We were so innocent then. How could we know? How could we possibly prepare ourselves for the depths this story would go to?

The Pokemon story went to lengths as bad as Lara Croft and Squick, but it did it in the lovingly cutesy world of Pokemon. This, frankly, was bad enough to put it at the top of the list. The things that...
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